Why do people not allow the "under 1200" friend requests

Mistila

I just felt the need to reply to this because there seems to be so much negativity about low calorie diets on here. I think what many people seem to forget is that different people need different amounts of food to achieve the same amount of weight loss. I am a small framed girl with a height of 5'1 and I sometimes get sick of extremely tall people telling me that I will lose weight on, say, 1400 calories. For me personally, to lose weight, I need to eat a maximum of 1200 calories, and even that's pushing it most of the time. I eat healthy clean foods most of the time and if I don't exercise I can actually GAIN weight on 1200 calories. I do not have an eating disorder and never have, but I now have my diary hidden from my friends because I know many of them would comment on what is a perfectly healthy amount of food for me personally.

I totally agree!!!! In my cace I'm 5' 3" and have PCOD and the DR ordered a 900 calorie diet! Do you think we like NOT being able to eat more? NO WE DO NOT!!!! PLEASE STOP JUDGING IF YOUR NOT A DR!

CoderGal

I just felt the need to reply to this because there seems to be so much negativity about low calorie diets on here. I think what many people seem to forget is that different people need different amounts of food to achieve the same amount of weight loss. I am a small framed girl with a height of 5'1 and I sometimes get sick of extremely tall people telling me that I will lose weight on, say, 1400 calories. For me personally, to lose weight, I need to eat a maximum of 1200 calories, and even that's pushing it most of the time. I eat healthy clean foods most of the time and if I don't exercise I can actually GAIN weight on 1200 calories. I do not have an eating disorder and never have, but I now have my diary hidden from my friends because I know many of them would comment on what is a perfectly healthy amount of food for me personally.

Yes!! This is why I get so fed up with the "eat more to weigh less" people who stalk these forums. It's great if the obese people on here can lose weight eating 1500-2000 calories, but that's just not gonna fly when you're short and not overly large. I personally could never lose weight eating anything over 1000 because I'm 5'3 and have always been in the healthy weight range, so it's harder for me to lose weight than some people.

As a borderline underweight who's never been obese and lately been eating 3000 calories and maintaining, I'm pretty sure it well 'fly' for people who are not 'overly large' especially since you're over half my height... And you're incorrect about that last part. You cannot say you can't lose weight eating over 1000 because you are 5'3 because there are many many many 5'3 girls who are eating much more then that and losing weight, some of which are on this thread.

The big one for me is that on this site it is looked VERY down upon to EAT less than 1200 cals but when it comes to netting 1200 cals after exercise not a lot of people do that...So it seems as if its okay to eat 1600 cals and exercise 500 but not vice versa???

The key thing that's missing there is you can get a lot more nutrients in 500 calories verses 0 calories

I am under the care of a board certified bariatric physician and she has instructed me to stay in the 1000 to 1200 range and not to replace the calories I burn by exercise.

So I would say that not accepting friend requests from anyone who eats less than 1200 calories a day without taking any other factors into account is pretty close minded.

There might be a reason someone is eating that few calories. Like in my instance, I am only 4'11". My little self doesn't need as many calories as someone of more normal height.

The recommendations on this site and others are only guidelines. Your doctor may prescribe a completely different regime and that's ok, whether others on the site agree with it or not.

~missy

That's one of the excuses I didn't like hearing, because it doesn't make sense (as you can tell with the rest of the thin shorter girls replying that they eat far more and lose). I've also met several 4 foot somethings on this site who eat more then that and are losing on it.

I vary rarely eat 1200 calories, it is not because of an eating disorder or because I don't want to, it is extremely hard for me to get that many calories. I usually eat atleast 4 times a day, I try and get as close to 1200 as possible, but there are days where I barely net 800 and I just can't help it

^Another one of those excuses I don't like. And very rarely is the reason of "I can't help it" health related. It's usually just people becoming accustom to undereating.

I just felt the need to reply to this because there seems to be so much negativity about low calorie diets on here. I think what many people seem to forget is that different people need different amounts of food to achieve the same amount of weight loss. I am a small framed girl with a height of 5'1 and I sometimes get sick of extremely tall people telling me that I will lose weight on, say, 1400 calories. For me personally, to lose weight, I need to eat a maximum of 1200 calories, and even that's pushing it most of the time. I eat healthy clean foods most of the time and if I don't exercise I can actually GAIN weight on 1200 calories. I do not have an eating disorder and never have, but I now have my diary hidden from my friends because I know many of them would comment on what is a perfectly healthy amount of food for me personally.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/709111-what-weightloss-does-to-people

I just felt the need to reply to this because there seems to be so much negativity about low calorie diets on here. I think what many people seem to forget is that different people need different amounts of food to achieve the same amount of weight loss. I am a small framed girl with a height of 5'1 and I sometimes get sick of extremely tall people telling me that I will lose weight on, say, 1400 calories. For me personally, to lose weight, I need to eat a maximum of 1200 calories, and even that's pushing it most of the time. I eat healthy clean foods most of the time and if I don't exercise I can actually GAIN weight on 1200 calories. I do not have an eating disorder and never have, but I now have my diary hidden from my friends because I know many of them would comment on what is a perfectly healthy amount of food for me personally.

Weird how that works.
I am 5ft2 and eat 2,000 just to lose weight xD

^bump lol

At 5'0", 1200 calories without exercise is maintenance for me once I reach my goal of 110 lbs. So, in order to shed pounds, of course I have to eat less than that. On those days when I do get exercise in, and lighter people have to exercise a lot more to burn calories, I can eat the full 1200. Otherwise, I try to eat between 1000 and 1200. If anyone doesn't want to be my friend because of that, they can jump in a lake. I don't need those kinds of friends anyway.

That's weird, 'cause it's still over 1200 calories by my math...And as a person trying to stay that thin when you're that short you should try to at least stay a little healthy by moving around.

I'm 4'11'' and my BMR is about 1260.. But I always eat more than that. Or at least try to. I also have hypothyroidism. Personally, if I eat around my BMR, I simply don't lose weight.

I find people who can eat/exercise properly far more inspiration (as it shows you don't have to starve yourself!). Do you really want to live the rest of your life not being able to eat. And yes, as few people have noted, I'm sure there are exceptions.

I would add someone who ate below 1200.. Unless you're trying to push for an unhealthy lifestyle either way, I'll be friends with anyone.

I don't doubt you but my friend also has hypothyroidism and told me the same thing so I just convinced her to eat above her estimated BMR about a month ago and she's consistently losing weight. You may want to try consistently trying it out for a few months before throwing it out the window. Since you do have a thyroid problem though your TDEE and BMR is going to be lower then estimated. You can get your RMR tested by your doctor to give you a far better idea of how much you burn doing nothing and multiply that by 1.2 to get about your sedentary energy expenditure and take a cut from there. But you are one of those exceptions to the rule where it's understandable that a person thinks they need a lower calorie diet though, because calorie restriction doesn't really work well for people with thyroid problems. But as you'll find with time you'll have to lose less and less a lot less then other people to maintain your weight which is eventually going to bite you in the bum. There are other ways to lose weight that involve eating more even with thyroid problems, but they usually consist of extreme diet changes, surgery, or drugs.

I don't currently subscribe to actively avoiding those who eat under 1200 calories, but I do avoid people who aren't actively seeking out information and/or complain like little beeches about really lame stuff. Just my opinion here, perhaps not the most eloquently put.

Couldn't have put it better myself :P

geekyjock76

I did an assessment with a very petite 17 yr old girl today who was 5'2" and weighed 94 lbs - she brought in her food journal and she was maintaining at 1800 calories despite having an estimated TDEE range between 1410 and 1665 . She currently wants to add 20 lbs of muscle to pick up her weight and will likely be eating at a 20% or greater surplus since she is a very small ectomorph.

Stephanie_Autry

I'm only friends with those that do the same thing I do. The values MFP recommends not a set value they want. I lost weight doing what MFP told me.

That's awesome.

amnsetie

Is that why you only have like 20 friends on your friend list... ? :huh:

Are you getting personal?

Maybe 20 friends is enough if you are providing and getting good support??

Sarauk2sf

I have the disclaimer because I like to keep my FL manageable. I try to interact with everyone as much as possible and also look and comment on people’s diaries. I just do not see what someone eating at less than 1200 calories can benefit from being my 'friend' and vice versa - I usually eat about 1900 - 2000 calories (a bit lower this week as I am expecting a monster dessert tomorrow!). Now, I understand that 1200 is somewhat of an arbitrary number because there are a lot of factors that come into play like the nutritional value of what they are eating, thyroid etc issues but imo, you have to draw the line somewhere.

Some people have asked the question as to why no upper limit - this is pretty impossible to do as peoples activity levels are very different as well as some people on my FL are actually bulking and so are eating a lot on purpose.

I have people on my FL that IF but only one that does the more ESE style of very low calories some days and higher the others. They balance out in the week so its all good as far as I am concerned and I can continue to encourage.

To be perfectly honest, it is much easier (and probably nicer) not to accept FRs in the first place than to end up having to delete them after you find out they are on, what you consider, to be an unhealthy diet. I have done it in the past and do not enjoy it at all.

We are pretty much all strangers until we start interacting with each other, so I am not sure why having disclaimers is such a sensitive or divisive topic.

jayliospecky

I used to add everyone. I would accept friend requests from girls with EDs because I wanted to help.

After reading posts like these:
Ugh I ate way too much (300 cals) I fell like i should throw up
I cannot believe i ate so much today! I am a fat cow (like 800 calories)
Calorie goals around 200 a day with mostly cigs and diet soda
Seeing posts about them getting out of the hospital
much worse


So much self hate and self harm. It made me get too worried. They didn't want my help. Too far in. They wanted support for their eating

Also, if an individual has personally struggled with an ED and is in recovery, they may find those kinds of comments to be triggering. Wouldn't it be like a recovering alcoholic hanging around with active alcoholics?

CuteAndCurvy83

I dunno about everyone else or every "under 1200" person, but the last time (and only time) I had someone like that they were nothing but drama (about EVERYTHING not just weight)

essjay76

I'm short too (5'0"), and quite light (122lb). I try not to net under 1,200 and I still lose, even with days netting at 1,600+. Although, I am losing pretty slowly. I'm firmly trying not to get into that mentality of having to net under 1,200 to lose because of my height. I want this to be a lifestyle change, and I don't want to be eating only 1,200 calories a day for the rest of my life...

I won't refuse friend requests, but I'm a little bit put off by the number of people on my friends list with ED tendencies ("OMG I'm such a failure coz I ate a square of chocolate, even though I've still only eaten a grand total of 800 calories today").

Ahhh, this is exactly why I friended you!

I am a fellow small, petite person as well. Didn't have much to lose and didn't want to get into the same mentality of eating less than 1200 to lose weight. I've already lost the weight I've wanted to, slooooowly, without starving myself. Yes, I exercise a lot, but even without exercise I just can't see myself living off of less than 1000 calories a day for the rest of my life. For those of you who are doing it, can you? Are you just not going to live life?

And for those of you who have 30 + pounds to lose and are eating 800 calories a day, can you do that the rest of your life? What happens when you reach goal weight and all of a sudden gain tons of weight back when you start eating like a normal person? Starve yourself again?

People who eat 2000-3000 cals a day and are LOSING are usually the ones who are sensibly eating the right foods and exercising. It doesn't mean that person is stuffing their faces with pizza and ice cream all day.

I don't put that disclaimer on my profile, and I don't knock people who do. Nothing wrong with being upfront about what you will and will not support. I kinda wish I did that though, because I've friended a pro-ana person before that I didn't know had an ED til I friended her. I can't support someone calling herself a fat cow because she's consumed 400 calories that day. I see nothing wrong with people telling others that they can't support them.

essjay76

I dunno about everyone else or every "under 1200" person, but the last time (and only time) I had someone like that they were nothing but drama (about EVERYTHING not just weight)

They were probably cranky from not eating enough. :laugh:

essjay76

oops double post

onyxgirl17

I "net" less than 1200 often because I don't believe in eating exercise calories back but make up for it on other days. I prefer going by a weekly deficit though.

slkehl

I dunno about everyone else or every "under 1200" person, but the last time (and only time) I had someone like that they were nothing but drama (about EVERYTHING not just weight)

They were probably cranky from not eating enough. :laugh:

So true!!

toaster6

I have no clue. But it irks me that someone would assume I have an eating disorder because I eat less than 1200 calories a day. I'm overweight so I feel like it should be obvious I haven't got an eating disorder because if I do, I'm doing it wrong. And before I get the "If you can't eat 1200 calories a day then why are you fat?!" questions, it's simple. The fact is, I'm just not as hungry anymore and I make sure not to eat unless I'm actually hungry. I grew up in a "polish off your plate" household where I had to keep eating until I finished my meal regardless of whether I was still hungry and I've only very recently been able to stop that habit. I'm not willing to get back into the habit of eating when I am not hungry just to meet a calorie goal. I've also started eating healthier foods that are low in calories and super filling (as opposed to eating a bunch of Oreos which are high calorie and obviously not as filling as a meal; which is not to say that I still don't have an Oreo every now and then because come on, Oreos!) and I exercise a lot more-- whenever I do cardio work outs, it kills my appetite for like, 5 hours after I'm done and decreases my appetite overall. I try to eat to my goal but sometimes I don't. My doctor has told me that as long as I feel physically fine, it's not a problem so I'll stick with that advice. I don't feel guilty if I have a cookie or ice cream and I certainly don't try to tell anyone they need to eat less than 1200 calories a day.

slkehl

If you don't care about a slowed down metabolism, whatever. I, for one, would like to eat regular meals like a normal person while losing the same amount of weight as those on these super low calorie diets.

trixiemou

I am 5'4.5, (52, if that makes any difference MFP has given me 1200 cal per day. I sometimes eat a little more, sometimes a little less. I am not hungry, I enjoy eating, I am actually enjoying losing the weight, even if it is slowly. I excercise a little and have little intention (or inclination) of doing hours and hours of excercise each week that I know I would not be able to maintain.

Am I doing this wrong, which catagory do I fall into?

AmyFett

I personally don't think that people who have eating disorders and aren't trying to get help for it should be on a site like this, and I wouldn't want them on my friends list. I get annoyed with people talking about it all the time honestly. Hate on me if you will, but it's my opinion.

myfitnessval

i like to add people with similar interests and goals, that way i can be a better supporter since i'm going through it with them too. i recently deleted a few people who were constantly going under 1200 because 1, i dont need to see that **** its not conductive to a healthy lifestyle and for me it would be the same as saying 'great job for smoking that whole pack of cigs!' and 2, when i see people dip below i usually ask whats up and try to encourage them to do better, as i hope they would encourage me to do better if i had a bad day, unfortunately a lot of these under 1200s want to stay that way and dont like it so i'm not gonna waste my breath.

Bonny619

I'm so tired of the 1200 calorie bashing. I'm BARELY 5'0, which really means 4'11 3/4. I don't need as many calories as a woman who is 5'6.

I eat regular meals...I often eat more than 1200 but I definitely have my days where I'm in the 1100-1200 calorie range. Again, I don't NEED as many calories as a lot of people.

AmyFett

I'm so tired of the 1200 calorie bashing. I'm BARELY 5'0, which really means 4'11 3/4. I don't need as many calories as a woman who is 5'6.

I eat regular meals...I often eat more than 1200 but I definitely have my days where I'm in the 1100-1200 calorie range. Again, I don't NEED as many calories as a lot of people.

I didn't know height had anything to do with it :embarassed:

Bonny619

Absolutely!

birdieaz

I'm so tired of the 1200 calorie bashing. I'm BARELY 5'0, which really means 4'11 3/4. I don't need as many calories as a woman who is 5'6.

I eat regular meals...I often eat more than 1200 but I definitely have my days where I'm in the 1100-1200 calorie range. Again, I don't NEED as many calories as a lot of people.

I'm barely 5'2 with a bmr of only 1280 and I eat1550-1750 to lose. If you read back through the thread you will see there are many short ladies eating plenty of calories and still losing.

Being short doesn't have to mean eating ultra low calories.

Bonny619

I don't find 1200 to be ultra low. So I guess we can disagree.

EvgeniZyntx

Wow! I posted this late last night (GMT) and it's at 5 pages now. Thanks for al the answers - a lot to read and think about.

birdieaz

I don't find 1200 to be ultra low. So I guess we can disagree.

That wasn't your original point and whether you believe 1200 is ultra low or not is irrelevant. Your argument was that being short meant you HAD to eat low calories, I and many other women on this board prove otherwise.

Bonny619

No. My argument was NOT that you HAD to eat low calories because you were short. I was stating that I do not need as many calories as someone who is quite a few inches taller than me. That's a fact. I physically do not need the same amount of calories.

You are reading too much into what I wrote. I'm happy you can eat 1550-1750 and still be able to lose, that's awesome. As someone who is barely 5'0 tall, my body would not lose on that. I know that. Maybe you are crazy active...I am not and that's my choice.

I can go at this with you all night if you'd like.

unsuspectingfish

I don't know about the "under 1200" people, but the last time I had a pro-eating disorder person on my feed, it really wasn't helpful to my goals at all, and was actually pretty triggering in terms of my own mental health issues. I don't need that sort of toxic environment on a site that I'm using as a tool to improve my life.

birdieaz

No. My argument was NOT that you HAD to eat low calories because you were short. I was stating that I do not need as many calories as someone who is quite a few inches taller than me. That's a fact. I physically do not need the same amount of calories.

You are reading too much into what I wrote. I'm happy you can eat 1550-1750 and still be able to lose, that's awesome. As someone who is barely 5'0 tall, my body would not lose on that. I know that. Maybe you are crazy active...I am not and that's my choice.

I can go at this with you all night if you'd like.

I was merely clarifying, there is nothing to "go at" although it's rather interesting that you should refer to a simple conversation as such. Ah well to each their own...no need to be so tense.

edited: not so smart smartphone.

Glassblaster

I dont want to friend someone that is rigid in their opinions. I was at 1200 and my doctor told me to drop to 1000. So I guess they wouldn't friend me, even though it was my doctor of 30 years that is guiding me. I don't need closed minded people any more than they need me.

YoshiZelda

I'm not sure, maybe it bothers them. If they're not okay with people that eat below 1,200, then I guess that's their reason. I simply do not mind, people have all type of disorders, and this might be a weightloss site, but it's also a site for people to gain too. I guess it just depends on the person, but I personally accept all friend requests, even if they might eat disturbingly low, least I can do is encourage them to eat more.