Why are people on these forums so mean?

Tann19

Thing is, when it comes to health and fitness stuff, you do get a fair share of...arrogant people. Y'know, the ones who think they are the best thing since sliced bread because they are in wicked shape. These are usually people that have an easier time losing weight or gaining muscle and don't understand the emotional aspect that affects many of us in this arena. I've switched gyms because of people like that, and I've been removed from gyms (for the day) for sticking up for people just starting out on their weight loss journeys who were being insulted and called down by these High and Mighty types. They can be very imposing face-to-face...but here? thats words. Only Words. If they are mean words, disregard them and move on. Don't allow their comments to affect you because they are nothing but pale words on a screen, and nothing you can say or do will change some peoples attitudes. I've been 195 lbs at 5 feet tall, I understand that such a thing is easier said than done because its easy to allow words to cut when you feel weak, I've been there. Thing is? No matter What shape you are inm You Are Stronger Than That....but only if you believe you are. You can't change them, you can only change how You react to them. Be strong!

I'm in horrible shape and I think I'm the best thing since slice bread! whole wheat!
:drinker:

CrystalDreams

Its not an opinion on the internet unless someone somewhere gets butthurt.

AJ_Pete

Why are people mean in life? Why do people pay attention to the negativity? Why do people allow it to bother them? Why do people need to constantly post rants in the forums about how people are mean? Can someone post about how some people are too soft on the forums?

People aren't going to change who they are just because they're on the interwebs. If anything, It amplifies their personality or allows them to assert themselves like they cannot in "real life". Either ignore it or develop thicker skin.

jfan175

Because "lose" and "loose" can drive you crazy...:laugh:

But that's no reason to loose your cool.

misao1994

Sometimes I feel like on this website if people aren't throwing out rainbows and sunshine and glitter and puppies and kittens and are positive 100% of the time on forums they're attacked! It's really annoying and really degrading. No one is a happy positive person 100% of the time but sometimes I feel like on the forums you have to pretend you are.

manderson27

What's that?..... People being mean on the interwebs? ......

Crochetluvr

I am not being mean..honest. But at least once...sometimes more...times a day, someone starts a thread with the same complaint. Its part of the wonderful world of the internet. All you can do is ignore the negative and spread the positive.

Yeah, quite often the same threads do come up. But it doesn't mean you have to read it or comment at all. People may not know the question's already been asked or know how to search for a topic. I've been on here a couple of months now and I didn't know you could do that.

Thats not quite what I meant....that's why I said I wasn't trying to be mean. Just pointing out that she is FAR from the only person who has that opinion of the forums.

ZugTheMegasaurus

Someone makes one of these threads every single day, and I still have no idea why there's this perception that everyone is so mean. This is easily the most positive, helpful, sunshine and rainbows forum I have ever been on, by far. If I had to estimate, I'd say that across the board, about 60% of responses are helpful and supportive, 5% are actually mean/trolling/inappropriate, and the other 35% is people complaining about how mean everyone is.

The chit-chat section is full of trolling and joking and topics people often find offensive, but the on-topic forums are nearly devoid of actual over-the-top nastiness. The vast majority of complaints of meanness I see occur when someone asks a question and then gets upset when the answers aren't what they wanted to hear. People aren't bashing those with EDs, but no one is going to put up with someone who clearly understands that their behavior is unhealthy and is looking for justification. I've seen extremely compassionate responses to people who seem unaware that their behavior is concerning, but it's not okay to feed into someone's problem and help them get worse.

People here actually want to help. Few people are out to make you feel bad; if they do, there are more than enough others willing to pounce on them and defend you. If you're seeing overwhelming meanness, the problem is likely on your end.

BigDnSW

It's no diff than FB or Twitter or texting or email or snail mail. People often act out or get real brave hiding behind a keyboard. They will post or write things they never would say face to face. I deal with it weekly as a professional counselor. People have lost dear friends, marriages, etc. over "hiding". As several have said, choose your friends carefully and wisely first and foremost outside of cyberville in the human world and even more so in cyberville. That is a gross generalization, but very true statistically and disturbingly increasing in my profession. Be yourself and remember this highly technical profundity from the couselor's chair..."Mean people suck". Don't take it serious. I have great online friends and iggy the mean or caustic, etc. ones. Hope this helps and friend me if you want a safe, kind, yet honest friend.

beansprouts

Some people are here to reach a personal goal (ie health...weight...education etc.)....while other people are here to try and make the first group as miserable as they are. Reach your goals and ignore the background static.

BeautyFromPain

:laugh:

people get cranky when theyre hungry

That might be it

manderson27

Someone makes one of these threads every single day, and I still have no idea why there's this perception that everyone is so mean. This is easily the most positive, helpful, sunshine and rainbows forum I have ever been on, by far. If I had to estimate, I'd say that across the board, about 60% of responses are helpful and supportive, 5% are actually mean/trolling/inappropriate, and the other 35% is people complaining about how mean everyone is.

The chit-chat section is full of trolling and joking and topics people often find offensive, but the on-topic forums are nearly devoid of actual over-the-top nastiness. The vast majority of complaints of meanness I see occur when someone asks a question and then gets upset when the answers aren't what they wanted to hear. People aren't bashing those with EDs, but no one is going to put up with someone who clearly understands that their behavior is unhealthy and is looking for justification. I've seen extremely compassionate responses to people who seem unaware that their behavior is concerning, but it's not okay to feed into someone's problem and help them get worse.

People here actually want to help. Few people are out to make you feel bad; if they do, there are more than enough others willing to pounce on them and defend you. If you're seeing overwhelming meanness, the problem is likely on your end.

Hear hear <Applauds loudly>

MissesForrester

I agree!

Kenzietea2

People will say things they would *never* say in real life. You should take everything with a grain of salt. It is hard not to be overly sensitive but necessary when you are dealing with people online.

whierd

I try to be respectful to people and give them my honest opinion. Sometimes that opinion doesn't fit with what they were expecting and they perceive it as me being a jerk. Not usually my intention though. I'm used to people with thick skin.

BrianSharpe

.......and a lot of people just have thin skins, they perceive someone disagreeing with what they say as being mean.

homeymoney

I just joined this site and I would never be rude to anyone It takes a lot of courage to open up to strangers about yourself..we all have our own unique struggles If someone wants to be mean or rude they should take it elsewhere or perhaps look in the mirror.

BJPCraig

To put things into perspective, Aubrey, I feel that the vast majority of the people on the boards are actually quite nice and helpful (at least, that's been my experience). That being said, yes, there are some people who seem feel that it is their destiny to make a snap decision on what anyone posts and slap them down if it they judge them "wrong." And often their ideas seem to be based o nothing. Once I posted a link to an article about foods that contribute to weight gain, citing several studies done at various universities. Within a day, several people felt the need to let everyone know that the whole concept was garbage. Interestingly, they didn't cite any studies to support their theories....

And, really, if you get say 50 people together, statistically speaking, you're bound to have some jerks. So, when you get together several thousand people (on say an Internet message board), odds are you're going to have tons of jerks. I just shake my head, ignore them, and move on ... unless I feel that they've been particularly harsh with someone, in which case I give the picked-on person a little support before moving on.

eduardoschoen

I haven't noticed people being mean yet. However, I just joined. As others have said the Internet is full of people who believe their way is the best and will not seriously consider other's opinions. Just try to filter past those comments you don't find supportive of your goals.

Good luck on meeting or exceeding your goals! Keep a positive attitude.

AnnetteBlair

HAHAHA Well said.