Why are people on these forums so mean?

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  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
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    I agree that ppl should have more respect toward each other when this is a site that's supposed to be for support and accountability. As for EDs..all I ever say is that I won't praise or condone someone who has very unhealthy habits which go way beyond food and fitness and influence others to do the same...
  • bkesecker
    bkesecker Posts: 163 Member
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    Because "lose" and "loose" can drive you crazy...:laugh:

    Agreed!!! That I was the only one to notice. Annoying.
  • BeckaT79
    BeckaT79 Posts: 216
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    I think because you don't have to "filter" your thoughts because it's the net, not real life, and you won't face the same consequences. I'll bet in real life many of the "mean" ones here are actually lovely people..they just have knee jerk reactions to some questions/comments and type before they think.

    Plus...many people trying to lose weight and get fit have deep rooted self esteem issues (I struggle with this at times as well..although it's better as I get older). Putting others down often gives poeple a "rush" of imagined superiority, and when you get very little approval in your real life because you're fat and unfit, that feeling can be like crack cocaine rush to some.

    ^^^Wow this^^^
    I have the tendency to speak my mind on several occasions. I try not to be harsh about it but some people just drive me nuts and that is where I go with it. I do really try to understand where someone is coming from but sometimes the whining gets old and sets off something inside of me and I can become a real B****. If I have offended anyone it was my way of being honest on how I was feeling at the moment.

    Plus the one guy is right.... I'M HUNGRY LOL :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • PoliticalRN
    PoliticalRN Posts: 112 Member
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    This is a fitness site. Aimed at losing weight and becoming healthier. Everyone is different. Why judge people so harshly? It seems that most people are in their own bubbles. If something is said that is outside someone's bubble. BAM! Hate comments. I don't understand. We are here to support each other! Has anyone noticed this? Am I the only one that feels really sad when someone is completely disrespected in the forums, even if I don't agree with what they are saying? Please try to be more understanding.
    All this talk about eating under BMR, eating back exercise calories, eating less than 1200. It's fine to argue over it, but most people jump to drastic conclusions and peoples' feelings are really hurt. Everyone is different, so everyone has their own weight loss journey. It doesn't make them a stupid or bad person. And, stop hating on people with EDs. They don't have one on purpose! Whether that have Anorexia, Binge Eating Disorder, or ED-NOS, it's not your place to tell them things that they already tell themselves everyday and that they already hear from other people!
    Sorry for the rant. I'm not sure if many people will read this. Please tell me I'm not alone in thinking that some people should have more respect towards others. Thanks!
    Just avoid the people you feel are mean and friend those that have a positive attitude. I am surrounded by many great MFP friends and we are very supportive of each other. You have the right to choose your friends, choose them wisely!
  • danne32339
    danne32339 Posts: 155 Member
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    This is a fitness site. Aimed at losing weight and becoming healthier. Everyone is different. Why judge people so harshly? It seems that most people are in their own bubbles. If something is said that is outside someone's bubble. BAM! Hate comments. I don't understand. We are here to support each other! Has anyone noticed this? Am I the only one that feels really sad when someone is completely disrespected in the forums, even if I don't agree with what they are saying? Please try to be more understanding.
    All this talk about eating under BMR, eating back exercise calories, eating less than 1200. It's fine to argue over it, but most people jump to drastic conclusions and peoples' feelings are really hurt. Everyone is different, so everyone has their own weight loss journey. It doesn't make them a stupid or bad person. And, stop hating on people with EDs. They don't have one on purpose! Whether that have Anorexia, Binge Eating Disorder, or ED-NOS, it's not your place to tell them things that they already tell themselves everyday and that they already hear from other people!
    Sorry for the rant. I'm not sure if many people will read this. Please tell me I'm not alone in thinking that some people should have more respect towards others. Thanks!

    I could not agree more.
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
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    It's the internet, people feel justified to act like jerks here. I think a lot of people are being funny, but the comments come across as being jerks. Don't take it personal, just ignore people who are being mean.
  • fernanda78
    fernanda78 Posts: 40
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    I LOVE MFP!!! AND EVERYONE ON HERE!!!! Because of this site...I HAVE FINALLY DISCOVERED A NEW ME!!! I enjoy reading all my pals threads..whether its about fitness or not..I've come to truly consider them my FRIENDS!!! I try to stay away from forums...just browse on through the ones my friends comment on or even post. I have NOT HAD ONE BAD EXPERIENCE ON HERE...SO I THANK U ALL!!!
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
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    It's a fascinating social phenomena that some egghead probably has a name for. It stems from the anonymity and relative safety of being in ones own home behind a computer monitor. Allows people to say things they normally wouldn't. There is also another part to it that I've noticed over the years. I have actually found this phenomena quite fascinating because it is common on almost all open forums.

    In "the real world" we choose our friends carefully. We are attracted to and maintain friendships with, people we have things in common with. Common habits, common beliefs, common social standing, what ever. You don't generally continue to associate with people you abhor or completely disagree with. On an open forum you don't have that option. You put something out there and anyone with access can read it. And then comment on it. And they do. Then you have that part of human nature that makes each and every person desire to have the last word and make all others think/feel/believe the same as they do and these forums are the result.

    Thankfully we are supplied with a douche-B-gone button and the mods are not afraid to use the nuke button when it's warranted.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    You're a teenager. You have an eating disorder. You've supported people eating under 500 calories. You'll find it hard getting people on this site to agree with you or not speak up. I'm not trying to be mean, just being real. There may be better sites for your age and your particular needs. I don't condone people being mean just for the sake of being mean, but there are people on this site who will call you out for unhealthy behaviors.
  • Troll
    Troll Posts: 922 Member
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    I have literally seen 12+ "meaniemeaniepooheads" in 2 days. some people have genuinely been rude. but tje vast majority is just butthurt that someone disagreed or told them tjeir exact same question has been answered 111000000000 times AND FOR CHRISTDAKES USE THE SEARCH BAR ITS THERE FOR A REASON AND FEELS NEGLECTED. My advice to everyone? Suck it up. Put on your big girl panties or big boy boxers. people are mean and by getting all ruffled youre fueling he fire. Ignore the meanies, quit being so stinking sensitive, or find another website that appreciates delicate snowflakes and will coddle you. Most people on here would benefit immensely from the addition of a backbone.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    I don't really think people on these forums are mean at all, especially compared to most other internet forums.

    You find an a**hole here and there, but I've been lurking for a while and I mostly see nothing but support, especially in the Success Stories section.

    If you can't handle the occasional meanie, it's best to stay off of online communities altogether.

    That being said, don't pay any mind to some of the total fitness fanatics running around, telling you their way is the BEST AND ONLY way to do things. Do what works for you.

    Do whatever gives you the best body and mind you can have. :)

    I'm all in on this excellent comment right here. Compared to just about every other Internet forum outside of Facebook, MFP is pretty damn civil. Sure, there's some snark. But if you can't deal with that, then you've got a problem with the human race, not MFP. Cuz its pretty chill here. We don't all have to agree with each other, nor do we have to sit silent when we think someone is spouting off bad information that could hurt someone's progress. Disagreement is good and hopefully inspires some folks here to go out and seek information on their own and try new things to see if it works for them.

    MFP, warts and all, has been really good for me and I'm thankful that I stumbled into this spot. Between the feedback from friends and the forums I've gotten it together and am feeling and looking like my old self again.

    Plus I live for the snark.
  • geral4479WECHANGED
    geral4479WECHANGED Posts: 49
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    I can't speak for everyone here, but I can speak for some on the internet. At least here, you will find intelligent comments. I have never been treated badly here though I have read comments here that can be interpreted as rude. Anyways, you should go to Youtube and IMDB. Now those are some mean, not to mention rude, comments. Some people are just massive *kitten* and when you go on the internet, you have to learn how to be thick skinned. But it is best to ignore the rudeness and the idiocy and move on.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    You're a teenager. You have an eating disorder. You've supported people eating under 500 calories. You'll find it hard getting people on this site to agree with you or not speak up. I'm not trying to be mean, just being real. There may be better sites for your age and your particular needs. I don't condone people being mean just for the sake of being mean, but there are people on this site who will call you out for unhealthy behaviors.

    But she is at least 18, right?

    (Not that I'm trying to be "mean" about MFP rules or anything like that...)
  • drea85an
    drea85an Posts: 130
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    People who have success, which are usually the ones who are nasty on here, like to prove how special they are for getting where they are. They forget how hard it is. Also, i notice it is the people who didn't come here to lose weight at all, and the pretend they are here to support. No, they are here to post photos of themselves and rag on the people who are trying to change. I have only been here a couple weeks and I notice it. I try to ignore it. Do my thing. Stick with the nice people. I am not here to play games. I suggest you do the same. They aren't worth it.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    But she is at least 18, right?
    (Not that I'm trying to be "mean" about MFP rules or anything like that...)
    Not sure. I just know she's a teen, in high school, and thinks it's okay to eat 500 calories or less. I'm just saying she's not going to get everyone on this site to agree with her on everything.
  • cybercpa
    cybercpa Posts: 60
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    yup
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
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    Ermahgerd someone's feelings got hurt on the internet?! No way.
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
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    People joke that people get mean when they're hungry, I think it goes the other way, too; people get hyper sensitive when they're hungry.

    I think that's true, but I don't find people meaner or more sensitive here on than on any other non-food-related site. In fact, often less so, because the balance between guys and gals seems to stop things getting too heated.

    And, seriously, are people here really hungry? From what I see in the forums, I thought it was the opposite - that people believe in making themselves eat more and more, even when they're full.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    You're a teenager. You have an eating disorder. You've supported people eating under 500 calories. You'll find it hard getting people on this site to agree with you or not speak up. I'm not trying to be mean, just being real. There may be better sites for your age and your particular needs. I don't condone people being mean just for the sake of being mean, but there are people on this site who will call you out for unhealthy behaviors.

    Thanks for letting us know. I did not know this about the OP. I hope that being here will help people to understand the many physical, mental and emotional benefits of health and being well nourished.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
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    People who have success, which are usually the ones who are nasty on here, like to prove how special they are for getting where they are. They forget how hard it is. Also, i notice it is the people who didn't come here to lose weight at all, and the pretend they are here to support. No, they are here to post photos of themselves and rag on the people who are trying to change. I have only been here a couple weeks and I notice it. I try to ignore it. Do my thing. Stick with the nice people. I am not here to play games. I suggest you do the same. They aren't worth it.

    Not so. 90% of the time I post something genuinely helpful and kind, it is 100% ignored. If I throw some attitude into my answer (still helpful), the person will usually fight with me, but as soon as I switch to REALLY trying to help, totally ignored. So a lot of people don't want the advice of the successful. And yes, I do remember how hard it is.
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