Why are people on these forums so mean?
Replies
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It's a fascinating social phenomena that some egghead probably has a name for. It stems from the anonymity and relative safety of being in ones own home behind a computer monitor. Allows people to say things they normally wouldn't.
That's not true, and if I were in the same room as you right now, I'd take my 150 lbs and be right in your face to tell you how wrong you are!0 -
Disagreement is good and hopefully inspires some folks here to go out and seek information on their own and try new things to see if it works for them.
I totally agree with you. I'm thinking some of the early transcendentalists like Emerson would have enjoyed your ideas. This made me think of his essay Self Reliance. Sorry - I'm already starting to think about what I'm going to teach soon but you're comment got me thinking about that.0 -
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Disagreement is good
I totally agree with you.
Make your mind up!0 -
It's always the scrawny ones. Always.It's a fascinating social phenomena that some egghead probably has a name for. It stems from the anonymity and relative safety of being in ones own home behind a computer monitor. Allows people to say things they normally wouldn't.
That's not true, and if I were in the same room as you right now, I'd take my 150 lbs and be right in your face to tell you how wrong you are!0 -
Why?
1. No one on facebook will talk to them.
2. No one in real life will talk to them.
3. They are emotionally needy.
4. They feel superior when putting others down.
5. They are delusional.
6. They are starving and can't think.
7. They are loaded up on fat and sugar and can't think.
8. They are drunk.
9. They thought the Dr. was out to get them and quit taking their medication.
10. They took their parent's medication.
11. Aliens are controlling them.
12. Cats make them do it.
There is an ignore button that comes in handy if you do not wish to deal with it. I probably can't even see most responses on here because I've used so much. Ignore the mean and hateful and don't let others get you down.0 -
i have to agree with the comment, "people are cranky when they are hungry" so true! although that is not an excuse to be mean but we are only human. i would like to add that people are also more sensitive when they are letting go of bad behaviors like unhealthy eating. it's a reminder to be kind
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The internet. Where many people feel free to be who and what they really are.0
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Some people are dilholes.0
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.......and a lot of people just have thin skins, they perceive someone disagreeing with what they say as being mean.
Pretty much this.
I always find these posts strange. When I came MFP, I could not believe how tame/friendly it is compared to a lot of other forums. I joined MFP after spending sometime on a wedding forum. Man, they will eat you alive. MFP is sunshine and rainbows compared to that and a lot of other forums.0 -
The person you see here is also who I am in real life. It freaks some people out, but I enjoy it a lot.0
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people get cranky when theyre hungry
LOL, now that is funny!0 -
It's always the scrawny ones. Always.It's a fascinating social phenomena that some egghead probably has a name for. It stems from the anonymity and relative safety of being in ones own home behind a computer monitor. Allows people to say things they normally wouldn't.
That's not true, and if I were in the same room as you right now, I'd take my 150 lbs and be right in your face to tell you how wrong you are!
This made me literally LOL.
It's funny because it's true...0 -
People who have success, which are usually the ones who are nasty on here, like to prove how special they are for getting where they are. They forget how hard it is. Also, i notice it is the people who didn't come here to lose weight at all, and the pretend they are here to support. No, they are here to post photos of themselves and rag on the people who are trying to change. I have only been here a couple weeks and I notice it. I try to ignore it. Do my thing. Stick with the nice people. I am not here to play games. I suggest you do the same. They aren't worth it.
Not so. 90% of the time I post something genuinely helpful and kind, it is 100% ignored. If I throw some attitude into my answer (still helpful), the person will usually fight with me, but as soon as I switch to REALLY trying to help, totally ignored. So a lot of people don't want the advice of the successful. And yes, I do remember how hard it is.
I said usually, not all. I have many people who are fit and look great that offer amazing advice and I always appreciate it. I am just saying, the ones who are typically nasty, are the ones who have reached their goal or came here already fit. (not that all fit people are nasty)0 -
People who have success, which are usually the ones who are nasty on here, like to prove how special they are for getting where they are. They forget how hard it is. Also, i notice it is the people who didn't come here to lose weight at all, and the pretend they are here to support. No, they are here to post photos of themselves and rag on the people who are trying to change. I have only been here a couple weeks and I notice it. I try to ignore it. Do my thing. Stick with the nice people. I am not here to play games. I suggest you do the same. They aren't worth it.
Not so. 90% of the time I post something genuinely helpful and kind, it is 100% ignored. If I throw some attitude into my answer (still helpful), the person will usually fight with me, but as soon as I switch to REALLY trying to help, totally ignored. So a lot of people don't want the advice of the successful. And yes, I do remember how hard it is.
I said usually, not all. I have many people who are fit and look great that offer amazing advice and I always appreciate it. I am just saying, the ones who are typically nasty, are the ones who have reached their goal or came here already fit. (not that all fit people are nasty)
I think the people who have reached goal and are striving for better fitness started becoming more sarcastic because so many people choose to ignore or argue intelligent, scientifically sound advice. It's like.. why even ask for help if you're just looking for people to be yes men and blow smoke up your butt? It gets tiring.0 -
I don't know about mean.... there are a couple people who I can count on to be an a$$ha!, but otherwise overall I think people are not MEAN.
Judgmental, yes. I just told my husband the other day at the city pool that I was very thankful that the people at the pool didn't seem to be as judgmental as the MFP community, because I would never even step foot in the place.
But even that seems to run in groups. I just stick with my homies mostly, and go along my merry (delusional?) way!0 -
Maybe I have a high threshold for meanness, but I see a lot more threads complaining about mean people than I see mean people.
Sure, there's some *kitten*. There always will be. But as a very sensitive 13 year old who was bullied in school, I learned that I shouldn't care what mean people think. Because they're great big poopieheads. Any adult on this forum should be more mature and have better coping skills than an overly-emotional 13 year old.0 -
My favorite example:Because "lose" and "loose" can drive you crazy...:laugh:
Agreed!!! That I was the only one to notice. Annoying.
You're a teenager. You have an eating disorder. You've supported people eating under 500 calories. You'll find it hard getting people on this site to agree with you or not speak up. I'm not trying to be mean, just being real. There may be better sites for your age and your particular needs. I don't condone people being mean just for the sake of being mean, but there are people on this site who will call you out for unhealthy behaviors.
Had that crazy idea just from reading the post, btw believe the OP may have fled. If not, OP- I do hope you seek medical help and that you try to listen to the help people tried to give you on the other post. 500 calories per day is very unhealthy, and not something that should be encouraged in anyone.
I have witnessed some blunt comments, but in my limited time here, have come to understand some of the reasons. Thought they were harsh when i first started, but I agree with most now.
Most often the butthurt is the result of someone posting something unhealthy or dangerous (in some cases) and the poster is just looking for validation. They usually find another snowflake that agrees, then 50 people try to correct it but the damage is done.
Whenever I invite anyone, I tell them about the ability to search the forum, that chances are their question may have come up before. I also point them towards good reads to hopefully get them started.0 -
I think because you don't have to "filter" your thoughts because it's the net, not real life, and you won't face the same consequences. I'll bet in real life many of the "mean" ones here are actually lovely people..they just have knee jerk reactions to some questions/comments and type before they think.
Plus...many people trying to lose weight and get fit have deep rooted self esteem issues (I struggle with this at times as well..although it's better as I get older). Putting others down often gives poeple a "rush" of imagined superiority, and when you get very little approval in your real life because you're fat and unfit, that feeling can be like crack cocaine rush to some.
^^^Wow this^^^
I have the tendency to speak my mind on several occasions. I try not to be harsh about it but some people just drive me nuts and that is where I go with it. I do really try to understand where someone is coming from but sometimes the whining gets old and sets off something inside of me and I can become a real B****. If I have offended anyone it was my way of being honest on how I was feeling at the moment.
Plus the one guy is right.... I'M HUNGRY LOL :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Ummm hmmm this ... still thinking about the 125 calories Pumpkin Bake recipe I saw earlier. I am hungry also:-/0 -
Maybe I have a high threshold for meanness, but I see a lot more threads complaining about mean people than I see mean people.
Sure, there's some *kitten*. There always will be. But as a very sensitive 13 year old who was bullied in school, I learned that I shouldn't care what mean people think. Because they're great big poopieheads. Any adult on this forum should be more mature and have better coping skills than an overly-emotional 13 year old.
it should be poopie heads. two words. learn to write.0 -
I think the people who have reached goal and are striving for better fitness started becoming more sarcastic because so many people choose to ignore or argue intelligent, scientifically sound advice. It's like.. why even ask for help if you're just looking for people to be yes men and blow smoke up your butt? It gets tiring.
This is exactly what ive seen, the ones who are most hurt weren't looking for advice, they were just looking for agreement.0 -
Go on 'Introduce yourself' and every message is nice
Go on 'Success stories' and every message is nice
Go on 'Recipes' and every message is nice
Go on Motivation and support and most are nice
Go on Food and nutrition, and Fitness and exercise and you will get the truth (or the person's perception of the truth) whether you like it or not
Eg,
Success stories:
"Hi, I'm Rob and I've lost 120 lbs on the seaweed diet, another 30 lbs to loose!"
"Way to go Rob!"
"Nice one Rob!"
"Wow, well done Rob!"
Food and nutrtion
"The seaweed diet is brilliant! I've lost 120 lbs, another 30 lbs to loose!"
"IT'S LOSE NOT LOOSE!"
"OMG the seaweed diet is SO bad for you!"
"Seaweed diet - are you MAD!?"
Chit Chat, fun and games
"Anyone else like the seaweed diet?"
"Oooh I love it when a man is draped only in seaweed"
"Seaweed makes me think of Daniel Craig walking slowly to the beach"
"Name your sexiest Hollywood hunks whose name starts with S"0 -
I've been poking around these forums for about 2 years. The comments this summer have been some of the meanest I've ever encountered! I was wondering the same thing myself! I fully agree with the hungry comment. In fact, someone referred to it as "hangry".0
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Maybe I have a high threshold for meanness, but I see a lot more threads complaining about mean people than I see mean people.
Sure, there's some *kitten*. There always will be. But as a very sensitive 13 year old who was bullied in school, I learned that I shouldn't care what mean people think. Because they're great big poopieheads. Any adult on this forum should be more mature and have better coping skills than an overly-emotional 13 year old.
I knew I liked you.0 -
You think people are mean on here? Try reading other forums, like thebump.com or 4chan. This is sunshine and puppies compared to them.0
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Welcome to the internet.......are you new here?
Some people are just crabby apples. You just have to learn to pay them no mind.
One thing I have noticed though is people being honest and real and because it's not what someone wants to hear, they get up in arms about it.0 -
Go on 'Introduce yourself' and every message is nice
Go on 'Success stories' and every message is nice
Go on 'Recipes' and every message is nice
Go on Motivation and support and most are nice
Go on Food and nutrition, and Fitness and exercise and you will get the truth (or the person's perception of the truth) whether you like it or not
Eg,
Success stories:
"Hi, I'm Rob and I've lost 120 lbs on the seaweed diet, another 30 lbs to loose!"
"Way to go Rob!"
"Nice one Rob!"
"Wow, well done Rob!"
Food and nutrtion
"The seaweed diet is brilliant! I've lost 120 lbs, another 30 lbs to loose!"
"IT'S LOSE NOT LOOSE!"
"OMG the seaweed diet is SO bad for you!"
"Seaweed diet - are you MAD!?"
Hahaha! So TRUE....but I've found some of the most cantankerous stuff on Motivation and Support. Go figure0 -
Maybe I have a high threshold for meanness, but I see a lot more threads complaining about mean people than I see mean people.
Sure, there's some *kitten*. There always will be. But as a very sensitive 13 year old who was bullied in school, I learned that I shouldn't care what mean people think. Because they're great big poopieheads. Any adult on this forum should be more mature and have better coping skills than an overly-emotional 13 year old.
Glad I'm not the only one to think like this. Here are a couple of the comments I made early today in response to friends posting in this thread:
"Your a stupidy poopoo head dumby!!!"
"Your a poopy dumdum head!!!"0 -
People who have success, which are usually the ones who are nasty on here, like to prove how special they are for getting where they are. They forget how hard it is. Also, i notice it is the people who didn't come here to lose weight at all, and the pretend they are here to support. No, they are here to post photos of themselves and rag on the people who are trying to change. I have only been here a couple weeks and I notice it. I try to ignore it. Do my thing. Stick with the nice people. I am not here to play games. I suggest you do the same. They aren't worth it.
Not so. 90% of the time I post something genuinely helpful and kind, it is 100% ignored. If I throw some attitude into my answer (still helpful), the person will usually fight with me, but as soon as I switch to REALLY trying to help, totally ignored. So a lot of people don't want the advice of the successful. And yes, I do remember how hard it is.
I said usually, not all. I have many people who are fit and look great that offer amazing advice and I always appreciate it. I am just saying, the ones who are typically nasty, are the ones who have reached their goal or came here already fit. (not that all fit people are nasty)
I think the people who have reached goal and are striving for better fitness started becoming more sarcastic because so many people choose to ignore or argue intelligent, scientifically sound advice. It's like.. why even ask for help if you're just looking for people to be yes men and blow smoke up your butt? It gets tiring.
I'm not that sensitive, so it really doesn't bother me that much, but I see what people are saying. Some people are nasty. Just because you reached your goal doesn't mean everyone has to listen to your advice. Science or not. Not everything works for everyone else. I lost 130lbs, does that give me the right to be nasty if you don't want to take my advice because you only lost 25? No. Of course not. That would be douchey of me!
Anyway, not worth a fight. I see both sides. I take advice all the time, and I don't get that worked up if someone gets attitude. So, bottom line, not worth getting hurt feelings about it.0 -
It's a fascinating social phenomena that some egghead probably has a name for. It stems from the anonymity and relative safety of being in ones own home behind a computer monitor. Allows people to say things they normally wouldn't. There is also another part to it that I've noticed over the years. I have actually found this phenomena quite fascinating because it is common on almost all open forums.
In "the real world" we choose our friends carefully. We are attracted to and maintain friendships with, people we have things in common with. Common habits, common beliefs, common social standing, what ever. You don't generally continue to associate with people you abhor or completely disagree with. On an open forum you don't have that option. You put something out there and anyone with access can read it. And then comment on it. And they do. Then you have that part of human nature that makes each and every person desire to have the last word and make all others think/feel/believe the same as they do and these forums are the result.
Thankfully we are supplied with a douche-B-gone button and the mods are not afraid to use the nuke button when it's warranted.
Funny and true!0
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