Blaming TOM (please stop)

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  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    Certainly didn't mean to create such a mess, but I resent those who say that "as a female" I shouldn't be saying such things.


    You say something that many people disagree with, you create a mess. Don't worry about it. Life is messy. I resent all the silly sexual stereotyping I read on this site (and elsewhere) about what women supposedly think and do.

    Just because you have female organs doesn't authorize you to speak for all women. Grow a backbone, dammit. Do you think women soldiers in the battlefield whine about their TOM? Losing weight and exercising don't compare.

    I have a couple of friends who have serious hormonal problems relating to their menses. They deal with it, they don't whine about it.
  • jpe71
    jpe71 Posts: 50 Member
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    Sometimes, I get cramps so bad I can barely stand to get out of bed to go pee. This isn't an "excuse" not to work out. It's a legitimate time where I should rest for my wellbeing, and I refuse to be thought of negatively for that. If I have some damned cramps, it's my right to cite them as my reason why I didn't do my freaking cardio today, and nobody else needs to judge me for it.

    As for cravings, women do crave things while on their periods, and giving into a craving by having a small treat isn't really that horrible. I think that the women who use this desire for a treat turn into the belief they need an entire cake need to work on moderation, surely, but that is not something to judge so much as something people should be offering support over so they can work through it to make healthier decisions which will help them lose weight.

    What is this forum for if not support instead of judgment?

    This was me, up until a few months ago, plus problems with blood sugar regulation so that I got hypoglycemic at that time of month only. Thus, if my body was in that state and demanded a brownie, it got a brownie. And probably the pasta, crackers, soup, apple, and salad it also demanded, since I was too slow on the bounce with that brownie. It was a hellish, vicious cycle, as I tried to lose weight, only to be stymied every month because self-denial led to shaking, cold sweat, iritability, and feeling faint.

    I solved the problem finally, after 20 years or so...by having a hysterectomy. This summer, for the first time in my life, I can handle going without food for more than six hours straight - reliably. Then, when I get hungry, I can eat modestly, and feel better. It's an amazing superpower, compared to what previously happened. Point being, some of us are not so lucky as to just be able to shrug it off as a simple biological function. I had stage IV endometriosis that was not greatly helped by any prior therapy. This simple biological function goes very wrong for roughly one woman in 10, and horribly wrong for an unlucky few.

    Edited to add: This just in: My post-hysterectomy blood glucose levels shows an 11-point improvement, from pre-diabetic to a little high. The last value was taken just prior to my last period, so I think this really illustrates the difference hormones can make.
  • carrotstick2012
    carrotstick2012 Posts: 161
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    Metabolism and TOM:

    http://www.globalhealthandfitness.com/metabolism myths.htm
    http://www.weightwatchers.com/util/art/index_art.aspx?tabnum=1&art_id=42321&sc=801
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    Not gonna do it! :tongue:

    TOM is when I crave chocolate and salt. *shrugs*
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    NO. Your period didn't make you do a d*mn thing, except spend $4 on a box of tampons. Stop making women seem pathetic and incapable of rational thought.

    LOVE!!

    Technically, it didn't make you buy tampons/pads either. Societal expectations to not have blood running down your legs/staining your clothes is what makes you buy the tampons/pads/ (Hey, if we're going to be technical, let's get technical!) :smokin:

    Yes, I always eat chocolate for the sake of TOM. :bigsmile:

    MY BODY, MY CHOICE! :tongue:
  • knwitall
    knwitall Posts: 420 Member
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    Haha Op this is too funny.

    The only thing i blame TOM for is the extra water weight that week ( which i know will be gone the next week), $5 ish for tampons and $7 ish for pain meds. But never for eating stuff.
  • spud_chick
    spud_chick Posts: 2,640 Member
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    Telling women not to blame their behavior on a predictable circumstance within their control that also reinforces a negative stereotype about women is a really helpful tip in my book.

    A random women taking it upon herself to tell all women how they should behave is actually reinforcing another negative stereotype about women!

    well said.
  • cindybpitts
    cindybpitts Posts: 213 Member
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    I'm just as guilty as giving in to cravings, but you should NOT blame your period for your nutritional indiscretions. YOU made the choice to eat whatever you ate, and you make yourself (and all women) sound weak when you blame your body for a choice your mind made. I'm so sick of seeing people make excuses every other day for why they chose to forgo exercise or eat six large pizzas.

    Example: "TOM had me eating cinnamon buns, UGHHH guess I'll start over tomorrow."

    NO. Your period didn't make you do a d*mn thing, except spend $4 on a box of tampons. Stop making women seem pathetic and incapable of rational thought.

    Did you TOM make you post that?!

    (ducks behind keyboard and shivers a little)

    I'm just glad that was posted by a female and not a guy. Otherwise, the internet would've just melted.. =]
    Ha ha, I wondered the same..(if her TOM made her post that)
  • stephanie40403
    stephanie40403 Posts: 98 Member
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    I'm just as guilty as giving in to cravings, but you should NOT blame your period for your nutritional indiscretions. YOU made the choice to eat whatever you ate, and you make yourself (and all women) sound weak when you blame your body for a choice your mind made. I'm so sick of seeing people make excuses every other day for why they chose to forgo exercise or eat six large pizzas.

    Example: "TOM had me eating cinnamon buns, UGHHH guess I'll start over tomorrow."

    NO. Your period didn't make you do a d*mn thing, except spend $4 on a box of tampons. Stop making women seem pathetic and incapable of rational thought.

    This is when MFP needs a like/love button similar to FB. I couldn't agree more!
  • lildee55
    lildee55 Posts: 28 Member
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    Totally agree OP. I'm in charge of me--100%. Usually I just ignore TOM, bu if he tries to bother me, hurt me, or influence me, he gets crushed by my will (he asked for it, right?). He's no match for me, really.

    There aren't enough crutches in the world for all the lame excuses. :wink:


    This! Since I started on here I have not gained one once before TOM. I am in control not my hormones for once. I welcome it now that's when I can get a 2lb lose in a week and it stays off.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    I think people who think that a woman should be in her right mind when she can feel pieces of her internal organ shedding itself out by way of violent contraction need to shut up and start carving out their own abdomen with a rusty spoon.

    Do that for four days and then tell me how badly you want a cinnamon roll.

    Other women who take the piss with other women about not sucking it up on their period are the worst. Look. lady, you know the biological process of what's going on. So help a sista out and give her uterus lining some sympathy. Some of us can feel that lining falling out of our trapper keepers, you know. Hard.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    I'm just as guilty as giving in to cravings, but you should NOT blame your period for your nutritional indiscretions. YOU made the choice to eat whatever you ate, and you make yourself (and all women) sound weak when you blame your body for a choice your mind made. I'm so sick of seeing people make excuses every other day for why they chose to forgo exercise or eat six large pizzas.

    Example: "TOM had me eating cinnamon buns, UGHHH guess I'll start over tomorrow."

    NO. Your period didn't make you do a d*mn thing, except spend $4 on a box of tampons. Stop making women seem pathetic and incapable of rational thought.

    Did you TOM make you post that?!

    (ducks behind keyboard and shivers a little)

    I'm just glad that was posted by a female and not a guy. Otherwise, the internet would've just melted.. =]

    :noway: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    was thinking the very same thing :laugh:
  • Copaiba
    Copaiba Posts: 75 Member
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    Get over yourself. Oh yeah, you're so STRONG and anyone who eats when there hormones are screaming is SO WEAK. You judgmental a$$hat. I can't tell you how many times i've wanted to cry if I couldn't have a bag of chips, ate it and felt better only to get my period the next day. If that doesnt happen to you, then you are LUCKY not strong and still an a$$hat.
  • mariagabriella
    mariagabriella Posts: 267 Member
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    I don't usually find TOM making me "eat cinnamon buns" (wtf is a cinnamon bun anyway?)

    but I don't judge people who DO eat crap during TOM because it effects females differently...
  • Copaiba
    Copaiba Posts: 75 Member
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    I've never taken a woman saying something like "TOM had me eating cinnamon buns" as anything more than rueful or frustrated. Most women who give into TOM cravings wish they hadn't and regret the weight gain they expect. It has never once crossed my mind that she is pathetic or incapable of rational thought. I'd be more likely to consider someone who couldn't grasp the nuances of that statement to be more incapable of rational thought.

    I know some women who describe their TOM cravings as almost outside of them--they are almost on autopilot when giving into cravings. The part of them that tells them to care or stick to their plans just leaves the building. It's very hard to resist something like that, when people aren't even conscious of the problem, even though it happens to them every month. It's hard to prepare for that. Even so, I've never heard them blame TOM without some responsibility for themselves. Why shouldn't a woman get a little gripe in about a miserable time of the month that changes the way she feels emotionally, physically, and mentally? Too bad if someone finds that weak and pathetic. Until they have to deal with that woman's period, their opinions are pretty moot on how weak or pathetic she is.
    I'm so glad you are one of my MFP friends! You are awesome!
  • spud_chick
    spud_chick Posts: 2,640 Member
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    I think people who think that a woman should be in her right mind when she can feel pieces of her internal organ shedding itself out by way of violent contraction need to shut up and start carving out their own abdomen with a rusty spoon.

    Do that for four days and then tell me how badly you want a cinnamon roll.

    Other women who take the piss with other women about not sucking it up on their period are the worst. Look. lady, you know the biological process of what's going on. So help a sista out and give her uterus lining some sympathy. Some of us can feel that lining falling out of our trapper keepers, you know. Hard.

    +!
  • spud_chick
    spud_chick Posts: 2,640 Member
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    Get over yourself. Oh yeah, you're so STRONG and anyone who eats when there hormones are screaming is SO WEAK. You judgmental a$$hat. I can't tell you how many times i've wanted to cry if I couldn't have a bag of chips, ate it and felt better only to get my period the next day. If that doesnt happen to you, then you are LUCKY not strong and still an a$$hat.

    +!
  • dixiewhiskey
    dixiewhiskey Posts: 3,333 Member
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    This thread is pathetic.. gotta love other women judging other people. Who gives a f? You make women look bad all by yourself. Do your own thing and mind your business..

    I'm not even one of those women who turn to chocolate before my period but I thought I would post that there is a link between many women eating a bit more before their period. Some women actually that extra fuel in order to have their periods
  • dixiewhiskey
    dixiewhiskey Posts: 3,333 Member
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    I'm just as guilty as giving in to cravings, but you should NOT blame your period for your nutritional indiscretions. YOU made the choice to eat whatever you ate, and you make yourself (and all women) sound weak when you blame your body for a choice your mind made. I'm so sick of seeing people make excuses every other day for why they chose to forgo exercise or eat six large pizzas.

    Example: "TOM had me eating cinnamon buns, UGHHH guess I'll start over tomorrow."

    NO. Your period didn't make you do a d*mn thing, except spend $4 on a box of tampons. Stop making women seem pathetic and incapable of rational thought.

    Did you TOM make you post that?!

    (ducks behind keyboard and shivers a little)

    I'm just glad that was posted by a female and not a guy. Otherwise, the internet would've just melted.. =]

    OWNED

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • LilEmm
    LilEmm Posts: 240
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    I always feel better if I eat a little junk food before TOM visits. I think we should get over the idea that you shouldn't eat something, or if you do, you MUST beat yourself up. Just get to know what your body craves & listen to it.

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