Fiancés family....
Replies
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their jahovahs .... jahovahs are psyco...RUN!!!!!!0
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Are you new here?Newly back to MFP but I'm all too familiar with the petty jabs people take at those they believe are inferior in order to boost their own self-esteem.
Also, jokes0 -
I should probably weigh in a little bit here.
First of all, I am a Jehovah’s Witness (please note the spelling) so I can probably give you a little insight as to what your (short) marriage will be like.
1: Because he is going to marry you, he is obviously not totally committed to his religion. That is not an insult towards you but, most “serious” Witnesses will only marry another Witness. This can lead to his parents basically blaming you for their Son leaving the Witnesses. That will cause obvious tension.
2: Let’s say that he decides to take his religion seriously. Well, remember all of those holidays that you hold so near and dear? Say goodbye to them.
3: You said that you want a Husband who will support you and your kids during the holidays? In all honesty, find a husband who places the same values on Easter and Valentine’s Day as you do. IF your Husband is REALLY a Witness, expect to celebrate these holidays alone. Also expect him to teach your kids the TRUTH behind these festivities.
4: Finally; you said that if your Husband won’t celebrate Christmas with you, you won’t marry him. All religion aside, if you are ready to throw away a marriage based on one holiday, then seriously, don’t get married.0 -
Ok. Because Aj just yelled at me for showing him ornament name cards and was like " what's ornaments used for amber?" I was like... Christmas? And then he's like use your brain. My family will not come if there are ornaments or anything involving Christmas.
I'm like what the **** dude!!! You wanted a wedding in the winter. This is what's gonna be around.
Then I mentioned I wanted to do the wedding around Christmas (his family shouldn't have a problem with that... But if course they will...) because I want to see the Christmas tree lighting in Leavenworth. He's like you can go by yourself. Hmmm does this mean we won't celebrate Christmas either??? Because if not, im not getting married to him. Plain and simple. I need a supportive husband and father to my kids who will celebrate holidays and not make them feel like **** because they believe in Santa.
You can't be that dense, can you?
LMAO.0 -
I couldn't deal with marrying a jehovah's witness....which is why I'm glad I am married to a FORMER Jehovah's witness (now an athiest)
I am not religious at all but was born and raised catholic. I turned against Catholicism at the age of 12/13 but I never really bought into all of it anyway. I more or less just refused to be "confirmed" and that was that.
My husband was baptized in the catholic church in El Salvador, but when his family came here they met some other salvadorians who convinced them to convert. So they did.
Long story short, my husband had a brain tumor as a teenager, and if he needed a blood transfusion, he would have been left to die. His chart and hospital bracelet read "no transfusions" due to it being against their religion. JW's are quite extreme in what they believe (in my opinion anyway) and their is no room for comparative thought or difference of opinion. You have to agree with them, or you are shunned and barred from there "paradise". These are big reasons why I'm glad my husbands family now consists of Atheists and Lapsed Catholics.
I myself no longer have any beliefs on organized religion, because I am too apathetic to care. I don't run around screaming "I'm an athiest I'm an athiest" (that's my husbands thing), but I just don't give it much thought.0 -
First of all, I am a Jehovah’s Witness
Woah... eyes up HERE lady.0 -
Advice.
I know im young. I'll be 21 on Sunday. But is it considered self centered and unacceptable that I think my fiancés family should get over themselves about the holiday ****? His family are jahovahs witnesses. Which is fine. Im not a religious person. But If we have a winter wedding or any wedding for this matter that I can not have anything involving holidays (ornaments, candy canes, new years sparklers, valentines day hearts or cards, etc) and if I do, his family refuses to show up because it's against their religion to be anywhere involving holidays.
Is it wrong for me to get pissed off because I can't have holiday stuff (if I wanted it... On MY DAY) due to his family being religious???
Feedback would be great.
I am an EX-JW ..If you marry him then they will expect you to do all these things out of respect..
I love the holidays and was raised without them..NOW I couldn't not have my holidays..and if he is not a JW then his parents should let him do whatever he wants in his own home.0 -
she told me she was a JW and proceeded to tell me how i was going to rot in hell.
JW's don't believe in hell.
Yeah, ^^^This.
This entire thread doesn't make any sense. Peace out.0 -
Gosh, I know... my in-laws were appalled that I wanted pentagrams at the bloodletting altar of my winter solstice ceremony! THE NERVE.
You are a bigot and way too young to get married. And you're a snotty bride.
This is awful... you make the rest of us witches look bad by mixing your judgemental attitude with references to magick.
Whoa, whoa, whoa...don't get your fancy panties in a bunch there..... I don't judge wiccan, pagan, JW or any other religion for that matter. I was proving a point, which is that the OP's attitudes are ridiculous - if you translate the ideal to another religion it becomes much more obvious.
Lastly, I used the term pentagram as opposed to pentacle (i.e. satanism as opposed to wiccan)...
Huh, interesting how things in type can be interpreted in totally different ways. Can't speak for the person who posted it but I took that response to be a funny wink wink nudge nudge comment.
No winking or nudging here... actually slightly offended thinking about "Satanists" celebrating a Pagan holiday, considering Pagans don't believe in Satan. But I digress... I'm not fancy, just don't think you should be so mean towards someone you don't even know. It's not unusual for 20 year old girls to have Disney-esque wedding ideals. Just sayin'.
yeah esp in this day and age where people spending over 50,000 on a wedding is considered normal...0 -
You won't be celebrating holidays as a family, no birthdays, etc. And if you have a child that is ill, you better hope it doesn't need a blood transfusion. That is a big no-no for JW. You really need to talk about how your belief systems differ. I was where you are at one point in time and know what it is like. Your children will also be constantly indocrintated with JW views whenever they spend time with granny and grandpa.0
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The response from the Jehovah's Witness above is the most insightful and well-thought-out comment here. Take it to heart, weigh your options, and wait to make such a big decision until you have settled all those "little" issues with your fiance.0
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Can someone please pass me some popcorn?
With extra BUTTER ?0 -
Figure it out before you get married and have kids, neither of you need to be in a relationship that you can't come to terms with for the down the road stuff. Seriously figure it out before you even plan this wedding. Be sure your ready to give up things you long for and he needs to be sure he's ready to give up his beliefs.0
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I have been married and divorced twice...weddings are a serious waste of money and completely overrated. Not using "holiday" decorations is not that serious. Choose your battles wisely.
I didn't even have fun at either of my weddings and if i do get married a 3rd time, i am eloping.
Ha, I love your outlook, doesntplaynic! I married my dear wife 10 years ago in a civil ceremony at the courthouse. Regrets=ZERO. The people who posted that these decisions are for you and your spouse alone are correct. My wife and I are lucky: I was very forthcoming with her about what I did and did not want to do and she agreed with me completely. Virtually everyone in our families has coped with our decisions and is very supportive. Their approval is nice, and even desirable, but it is not required.
It's worth noting that we lived together for several years and we were both already older when we tied the knot. Honesty with each other and our loved ones has worked for us. I wouldn't have it any other way.0 -
Ok. Because Aj just yelled at me for showing him ornament name cards and was like " what's ornaments used for amber?" I was like... Christmas? And then he's like use your brain. My family will not come if there are ornaments or anything involving Christmas.
I'm like what the **** dude!!! You wanted a wedding in the winter. This is what's gonna be around.
Then I mentioned I wanted to do the wedding around Christmas (his family shouldn't have a problem with that... But if course they will...) because I want to see the Christmas tree lighting in Leavenworth. He's like you can go by yourself. Hmmm does this mean we won't celebrate Christmas either??? Because if not, im not getting married to him. Plain and simple. I need a supportive husband and father to my kids who will celebrate holidays and not make them feel like **** because they believe in Santa.
So....you don't even know if the man you are going to spend the rest of your LIFE with celebrates major holidays? Isn't that kind of important? How has this not come up yet???? It sounds like there's a lot of *kitten* that you still need to talk about with him.0 -
Can someone please pass me some popcorn?
With extra BUTTER ?
Jehova's Witness don't celebrate butter.0 -
You won't be celebrating holidays as a family, no birthdays, etc. And if you have a child that is ill, you better hope it doesn't need a blood transfusion. That is a big no-no for JW. You really need to talk about how your belief systems differ. I was where you are at one point in time and know what it is like. Your children will also be constantly indocrintated with JW views whenever they spend time with granny and grandpa.
I quite agree with Glassblaster. You and your fiance need to sit down together (and maybe with a third party) to sort this out NOW, before the wedding. You have some major differences, and it's better that you get these sorted out now, before you say 'I do' and have children.0 -
Also expect him to teach your kids the TRUTH behind these festivities.
You gotta love a religion which refers to themselves as being "in the truth"0 -
I should probably weigh in a little bit here.
First of all, I am a Jehovah’s Witness (please note the spelling) so I can probably give you a little insight as to what your (short) marriage will be like.
1: Because he is going to marry you, he is obviously not totally committed to his religion. That is not an insult towards you but, most “serious” Witnesses will only marry another Witness. This can lead to his parents basically blaming you for their Son leaving the Witnesses. That will cause obvious tension.
2: Let’s say that he decides to take his religion seriously. Well, remember all of those holidays that you hold so near and dear? Say goodbye to them.
3: You said that you want a Husband who will support you and your kids during the holidays? In all honesty, find a husband who places the same values on Easter and Valentine’s Day as you do. IF your Husband is REALLY a Witness, expect to celebrate these holidays alone. Also expect him to teach your kids the TRUTH behind these festivities.
4: Finally; you said that if your Husband won’t celebrate Christmas with you, you won’t marry him. All religion aside, if you are ready to throw away a marriage based on one holiday, then seriously, don’t get married.
Don't know why people are being dismissive of this man's advice. Very well thought out and spoken sir.
I'm quoting the whole thing so it gets maximum exposure.0 -
Fixed it for ya.The response from the HANDSOME Jehovah's Witness above is the most insightful and well-thought-out comment here. Take it to heart, weigh your options, and wait to make such a big decision until you have settled all those "little" issues with your fiance.0 -
You need to reconsider your marriage. Honestly.
These are things that will not just be issues at your wedding, they will be there when you want to decorate for Xmas and have them over, it will happen when you have children and they won't come to birthday parties.
You need to discuss this seriously with your finance BEFORE you get married. If you don't it will erode your relationship with your finace's family and your relationship with your fiance.
I was married once and got divorced over really important things we didn't discuss before marriage. Trust me, this issue won't go away.0 -
Woah. 8 pages? Really?
Here is his stand point
He is not religious. He and I just had a long conversation about holidays and kids.
He said he will celebrate holidays with me and our kids.
I was just wondering if I should be stepping on eggshells around his families religion or if I should plan it the way I want it.0 -
compleatly off topic, but my god there is a lot of profile pics with cleavage in this thread... what gives?
also, you need to take a step back and ask yourself if you are in love with him, or the thought of getting married.0 -
Hello Lucky,Also expect him to teach your kids the TRUTH behind these festivities.
You gotta love a religion which refers to themselves as being "in the truth"
Reguardless of how I refer to myself, almost every holiday can be traced to factual events.
Perhaps you should re-read my statement before jumping on your soap box.0 -
Woah. 8 pages? Really?
Work is slow.0 -
compleatly off topic, but my god there is a lot of profile pics with cleavage in this thread... what gives?
It's Boobie Friday, my friend. I didn't participate because I don't have a pretty cleavage shot. But it sure does pretty up the boards
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It's not how "you" want...it is how you and your fiance want. Not you alone. You and him.0
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Woah. 8 pages? Really?
Here is his stand point
He is not religious. He and I just had a long conversation about holidays and kids.
He said he will celebrate holidays with me and our kids.
I was just wondering if I should be stepping on eggshells around his families religion or if I should plan it the way I want it.
but.... why is this conversation just NOW being had? Why not before he "put the ring on it"? Also, did you ask him what he thought about walking on eggshells around his family?0 -
Woah. 8 pages? Really?
Here is his stand point
He is not religious. He and I just had a long conversation about holidays and kids.
He said he will celebrate holidays with me and our kids.
I was just wondering if I should be stepping on eggshells around his families religion or if I should plan it the way I want it.
This depends on whether he wants his family to attend. If he does, you may need to give up ornamental items for your Fiance's happiness. If you can't or are not willing to do that, then he should reconsider marrying you.0 -
I was just wondering if I should be stepping on eggshells around his families religion or if I should plan it the way I want it.
F it, ask Jeeves0
This discussion has been closed.
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