Fiancés family....

digitalbill

Woah. 8 pages? Really?


Here is his stand point

He is not religious. He and I just had a long conversation about holidays and kids.
He said he will celebrate holidays with me and our kids.

I was just wondering if I should be stepping on eggshells around his families religion or if I should plan it the way I want it.

OK.. he is not religion. That takes care of a few problems that your marriage is going to have.
With that in mind, I suppose it comes down to what YOU feel is important.
Which is more important?
A: Holiday decorations which is sure to insult his family?

B: Tasteful decorations which will make both his family and YOUR HUSBAND happy?

1ConcreteGirl

The response from the HANDSOME Jehovah's Witness above is the most insightful and well-thought-out comment here. Take it to heart, weigh your options, and wait to make such a big decision until you have settled all those "little" issues with your fiance.

Fixed it for ya.

Haha, my mistake! Proceed, sir.

Ruthe8

Woah. 8 pages? Really?


Here is his stand point

He is not religious. He and I just had a long conversation about holidays and kids.
He said he will celebrate holidays with me and our kids.

I was just wondering if I should be stepping on eggshells around his families religion or if I should plan it the way I want it.

It still boils down to the fact that you value your own decorating whims over their RELIGION. Over their ability to attend your wedding and celebrate with you. And apparently over your fiancé's objections, since he made it clear he didn't want Christmas ornaments.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

I was just wondering if I should be stepping on eggshells around his families religion or if I should plan it the way I want it.

F it, ask Jeeves

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

JustJennie1

Also expect him to teach your kids the TRUTH behind these festivities.

Totally NOT being snarky here but what is "the TRUTH" behind these festivities?

*Please note that I am a non-practicing Catholic who attends holiday functions for the family get together, food and booze. In all seriousness I'd really prefer to just skip them all.*

Flab2fitfi

My husband and I have two different religious backgrounds and before we even had children or got married we sat down and talked about how it would affect things.

My husbands family are Catholic ( he is very lasped but his mum is devout) and one of the things we had to discuss is the fact that any children we had would not be bought up as Catholic and how would his family deal with that. When we did have our daughter we were very honest about it and his family has never even asked about a christening etc.

When we got married we had a humanist ceremony that incorporated a few traditions found in a hand fasting. We found this was the best way to compromise and not have a ceremony where people would feel uncomfortable. At the end of the day a wedding is also about two families joining.

If you are mature enough to get married you have to be mature enough to talk openly and honestly about such matters and be able to compromise.

Ruthe8

Also: who's paying for this wedding?

mrs_schultz2012

Woah. 8 pages? Really?

Work is slow.

slow here too lol

LuckyLeprechaun

Also expect him to teach your kids the TRUTH behind these festivities.

You gotta love a religion which refers to themselves as being "in the truth"

Hello Lucky,
Reguardless of how I refer to myself, almost every holiday can be traced to factual events.
Perhaps you should re-read my statement before jumping on your soap box.

So do you *not* use that phrase?

My aunt does.

Her language:
person who is JW from birth="raised in the truth"
any current JW="in the truth"
any ostracized members= "out of the truth"

Perhaps it's just her own quirk. Except everyone in her hall speaks the same way.

secretlobster

Also: who's paying for this wedding?

I volunteer

Elzecat

I can't believe I read this whole thread. I found the advice from the actual Jehovah's Witness gentleman to be very practical...but didn't anyone check out the OP's profile and see a wedding date of June 3? Why would you have winter holiday-themed wedding decorations on June 3? Then she comes back after 8 pages of advice from (mostly) well-meaning folks and says oh by the way the fiance WILL celebrate holidays with her (something not explained in the initial post)...???

Now I'm suspicious. Total troll thread. Entertaining, but trolling.

auroranflash

I was just wondering if I should be stepping on eggshells around his families religion or if I should plan it the way I want it.

F it, ask Jeeves

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/jeeves <-- damn, taken

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

this thread made me realize there should be an age limit on weddings and you should be made to take a test before the wedding. Make it harder, so more people will really think long and hard before just having "their" day of Princess fun.....

digitalbill

Also expect him to teach your kids the TRUTH behind these festivities.

Totally NOT being snarky here but what is "the TRUTH" behind these festivities?

*Please note that I am a non-practicing Catholic who attends holiday functions for the family get together, food and booze. In all seriousness I'd really prefer to just skip them all.*

It obviously depends on the Holiday but, if you take the biggie, Christmas, the history behind it actually has ZERO to do with the birth of Jesus and more of a celebration of a pagan ritual. I can go into details if needed.

No, I cannot simply say ALL HOLIDAYS ARE BAD without giving some kind of proof. That would be just silly.

michelejoann

Also expect him to teach your kids the TRUTH behind these festivities.

Totally NOT being snarky here but what is "the TRUTH" behind these festivities?

*Please note that I am a non-practicing Catholic who attends holiday functions for the family get together, food and booze. In all seriousness I'd really prefer to just skip them all.*

This^^

Sharyn913

Im not a religious person.
Feedback would be great. 

Then I mentioned I wanted to do the wedding around Christmas (his family shouldn't have a problem with that... But if course they will...) because I want to see the Christmas tree lighting in Leavenworth. He's like you can go by yourself. Hmmm does this mean we won't celebrate Christmas either??? Because if not, im not getting married to him. Plain and simple. I need a supportive husband and father to my kids who will celebrate holidays and not make them feel like **** because they believe in Santa. 

Seriously? You are acting like a child. If you are not religious, why are you making a stink about the holidays? It sounds like you are just picking fights, and if you are fighting like this now prior to getting married, I can't even imagine how it will be years from now. It's never a good idea to be on bad terms with your in laws.

michellekicks

Also expect him to teach your kids the TRUTH behind these festivities.

You gotta love a religion which refers to themselves as being "in the truth"

Hello Lucky,
Reguardless of how I refer to myself, almost every holiday can be traced to factual events.
Perhaps you should re-read my statement before jumping on your soap box.

Total hijack, but I'm a Christian and I don't really want to celebrate any of these holidays either... don't get me started on Christmas and Easter...

And my brother is a JW. Married in. Spent 5 years studying so he could marry the mother of his daughter. But his in-laws are awesome people and my brother is a great guy. We don't get into religious conversations but we don't invite them for birthday celebrations either.

blueroses_78

Also expect him to teach your kids the TRUTH behind these festivities.

Totally NOT being snarky here but what is "the TRUTH" behind these festivities?

*Please note that I am a non-practicing Catholic who attends holiday functions for the family get together, food and booze. In all seriousness I'd really prefer to just skip them all.*

I think he is referring to the fact that the majority of popular holidays have roots in Pagan traditions. )O(

LuckyLeprechaun

Also expect him to teach your kids the TRUTH behind these festivities.

Totally NOT being snarky here but what is "the TRUTH" behind these festivities?

Most holidays celebrated by the Christian church have some basis in other religions. Many symbols used are straight from pagan celebrations (easter eggs, bunnies, trees for Christmas, etc.) Also, many of the holidays coincide on the calendar with pagan celebrations. In the earliest days of the Christian church, it was safer to celebrate when the accepted religions were celebrating. That's how we got Christmas in December. It got glommed onto the Solstice celebration. Jesus wasn't born in the winter.

That's what he means.

JustJennie1

this thread made me realize there should be an age limit on weddings and you should be made to take a test before the wedding. Make it harder, so more people will really think long and hard before just having "their" day of Princess fun.....

You know I actually have to agree with this one.

While I understand that there are marriages that work when people get married young the fact of the matter is you're young. You're still immature and you're unsure of what you want out of life. Sure getting married to the "man of your dreams" in your early twenties sounds awesome but what happens when you both grow up, discover yourselves and realize that you're not a match?

amberlongsine

Ahahaha!!!!!!! Holy cow!!!! Drama much?!!!


It was literally just a yes or no question lol


Ahahahahaha!!

Ruthe8

Also: who's paying for this wedding?

I volunteer

If you're paying, you should pick the decorations. I think a lobster theme would be super cute.

corn63

Ahahaha!!!!!!! Holy cow!!!! Drama much?!!!


It was literally just a yes or no question lol


Ahahahahaha!!

You're a peach.

CincinnatiDEIFan

this thread made me realize there should be an age limit on weddings and you should be made to take a test before the wedding. Make it harder, so more people will really think long and hard before just having "their" day of Princess fun.....

Funny thing is...we DID take a test before our wedding...pre-cana...Catholic wedding. About 100 questions covering family planning, religion, finances etc (stuff that should be covered well before considering proposing). Engaged couples are separated when taking it. It is I agree or I disagree. Any that were not answered identically was where the Deacon of the church began the counselling sessions.

:-)

(for what it's worth hubby and I answered differently on only three questions...therefore out sessions only lasted about two hours total. LOL)

lisahale

Ok. Because Aj just yelled at me for showing him ornament name cards and was like " what's ornaments used for amber?" I was like... Christmas? And then he's like use your brain. My family will not come if there are ornaments or anything involving Christmas. 

I'm like what the **** dude!!! You wanted a wedding in the winter. This is what's gonna be around. 

Then I mentioned I wanted to do the wedding around Christmas (his family shouldn't have a problem with that... But if course they will...) because I want to see the Christmas tree lighting in Leavenworth. He's like you can go by yourself. Hmmm does this mean we won't celebrate Christmas either??? Because if not, im not getting married to him. Plain and simple. I need a supportive husband and father to my kids who will celebrate holidays and not make them feel like **** because they believe in Santa. 

Forget the wedding decor. You both need to sit down and figure out the MAJOR stuff (holiday celebrations, etc) before you even get to decorating for the wedding day. How did this stuff not come up while you were dating?

I agree forget the wedding .. ya'll need to have a serious sit down!!

vkruithof

Jehova's Witness' will never celebrate a birthday or Christmas with you or your children either. Religious or not, this will probably be something that becomes a wedge between you and your soon to be husband.

penrbrown

Also expect him to teach your kids the TRUTH behind these festivities.

Totally NOT being snarky here but what is "the TRUTH" behind these festivities?

*Please note that I am a non-practicing Catholic who attends holiday functions for the family get together, food and booze. In all seriousness I'd really prefer to just skip them all.*

It obviously depends on the Holiday but, if you take the biggie, Christmas, the history behind it actually has ZERO to do with the birth of Jesus and more of a celebration of a pagan ritual. I can go into details if needed.

No, I cannot simply say ALL HOLIDAYS ARE BAD without giving some kind of proof. That would be just silly.

Oh I could so debate this with you.

Because what you stated isn't 100% factually true.

PS: I won't debate it with you because this isn't the place for that but I want to encourage everyone to do a little research on their own to learn the historical facts behind these things. Don't study from just one religious viewpoint either. You'll get a more well rounded view of the 'true story' if you seek sources from all religious and non religious historical sources.

aibanzon

these are deal breakers and you need to have a very long and serious talk. religion is obviously important to his family. when you marry someone, you marry their family.

Ruthe8

Ahahaha!!!!!!! Holy cow!!!! Drama much?!!!


It was literally just a yes or no question lol


Ahahahahaha!!

OK. "Is it wrong for me to get pissed off because I can't have holiday stuff (if I wanted it... On MY DAY) due to his family being religious???" Yes. Yes it is.

JustJennie1

Also expect him to teach your kids the TRUTH behind these festivities.

Totally NOT being snarky here but what is "the TRUTH" behind these festivities?

Most holidays celebrated by the Christian church have some basis in other religions. Many symbols used are straight from pagan celebrations (easter eggs, bunnies, trees for Christmas, etc.) Also, many of the holidays coincide on the calendar with pagan celebrations. In the earliest days of the Christian church, it was safer to celebrate when the accepted religions were celebrating. That's how we got Christmas in December. It got glommed onto the Solstice celebration. Jesus wasn't born in the winter.

That's what he means.

Thanks.

And I do know that Jesus wasn't born in the winter but not many people do.