Fiancés family....

Im_NotPerfect

Woah. 8 pages? Really?


Here is his stand point

He is not religious. He and I just had a long conversation about holidays and kids.
He said he will celebrate holidays with me and our kids.

I was just wondering if I should be stepping on eggshells around his families religion or if I should plan it the way I want it.

Why is it even a question for you??? The fact that it is shows how NOT ready you are for marriage! These people will be your FAMILY. They will be in your life FOREVER (or however long you're with your man....). Don't you WANT them at your wedding?

digitalbill

Also expect him to teach your kids the TRUTH behind these festivities.

You gotta love a religion which refers to themselves as being "in the truth"

Hello Lucky,
Reguardless of how I refer to myself, almost every holiday can be traced to factual events.
Perhaps you should re-read my statement before jumping on your soap box.

So do you *not* use that phrase?

My aunt does.

Her language:
person who is JW from birth="raised in the truth"
any current JW="in the truth"
any ostracized members= "out of the truth"

Perhaps it's just her own quirk. Except everyone in her hall speaks the same way.

Yes, I do use those same terms.
However, that terminology has nothing to do with "the truth" behind a particular event.
I could have said something about "The truth" behind 9-11 and it would have had zero to do with how Witnesses refer to themselfs.
I could have said "The Truth" behind the Kennedy assination and my religion has nothing to do with it.
"The truth" behind many holidays has nothing to do with my religion.

forgtmenot

Woah. 8 pages? Really?


Here is his stand point

He is not religious. He and I just had a long conversation about holidays and kids.
He said he will celebrate holidays with me and our kids.

I was just wondering if I should be stepping on eggshells around his families religion or if I should plan it the way I want it.

Clearly your fiance already said he didn't want the dang Christmas ornaments. This is not YOUR wedding, it is his wedding too and his opinion is just as important as yours.

amberlongsine

I'm loving all the controversy here! Holy crap. Lol

hooperkay

Only rule we had was that no Aggie gets married during football season, especially on a saturday. And if so, it is understood that any anniversay coinciding with game day celebration was either tickets to the game or a game watching party.

ok you are sooo funny!!

To OP;

Yall need to discuss all things before marriage. Does he celebrate christmas now? probably not and won't.
If you insist on getting married, then you could have nice religious wedding for you, him and his family. Plan a "christmas" themed party with you, him and yalls friends and family that celebrate. Marriage is not about the wedding. It's about the marriage. If you can't compromise now then yall aint gonna make it!

killingtheantagonist

The thing is that it's both you and your fiances wedding, not his families and not your families. If they can't set aside decorations for a few hours just for the 2 of you to be happy, then thats their problem not yours. If anything they're the selfish ones. You didn't decide how their wedding went and they don't need to be in the business of yours. It's that simple. They don't have to be happy about your wedding, only the 2 people being wed should have any concern with it.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

Ahahaha!!!!!!! Holy cow!!!! Drama much?!!!


It was literally just a yes or no question lol


Ahahahahaha!!

you can't ask for advice and feedback and expect people not to have questions and/or opinions on things you stated...

aqm22

Woah. 8 pages? Really?


Here is his stand point

He is not religious. He and I just had a long conversation about holidays and kids.
He said he will celebrate holidays with me and our kids.

I was just wondering if I should be stepping on eggshells around his families religion or if I should plan it the way I want it.

lol, you really should have this conversation with him. Why are you asking us? It's his family. If it's important to him to have his family there, then compromise with him. If not, then well, do whatever you want. What does he want?

If you want my advice, I'd rather not start my marriage by pissing off his family. Not that I'll let anyone walk all over me, but I rather not start unnecessary trouble. I got marry young, too. Marriage is hard enough without in-laws squabbles. Marriage at a young age is even harder. It takes commitment and lots of love.

But really, TALK TO HIM. All these questions you should ask him instead of a fitness forum, IMO.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

this thread made me realize there should be an age limit on weddings and you should be made to take a test before the wedding. Make it harder, so more people will really think long and hard before just having "their" day of Princess fun.....

Funny thing is...we DID take a test before our wedding...pre-cana...Catholic wedding. About 100 questions covering family planning, religion, finances etc (stuff that should be covered well before considering proposing). Engaged couples are separated when taking it. It is I agree or I disagree. Any that were not answered identically was where the Deacon of the church began the counselling sessions.

:-)

(for what it's worth hubby and I answered differently on only three questions...therefore out sessions only lasted about two hours total. LOL)

Very nice! Congrats!

michelejoann

I gotta feeling that this will be locked down soon.

Religious debates = :noway:

secretlobster

I'm loving all the controversy here! Holy crap. Lol

That explains a lot

vvanm

Oops, thanks for the correction

katamus

compleatly off topic, but my god there is a lot of profile pics with cleavage in this thread... what gives?

Boobie Friday.

Molly_Maguire

their jahovahs .... jahovahs are psyco...RUN!!!!!!

Hmm. Three misspelled words in a sentence of six. That's 50% wrong. (I know, because I finished 4th grade) Some people may be "psyco", but still more are illiterate. Go back to school.

michellekicks

You have been solid since you were 13 and now have questions? You've observed this family for years. JW's that I have met are pretty clear on what they believe. I don't remember any JW children in that age group that weren't locked into religion by their parents. I'm surprised that your Fiance chose out of his faith at that age. Really surprised. I dated a Baptist at 14 and the family waited 2 years to see if I converted. There was no other option in his mind, so we broke up. JW's are more intense than that. They also seem to marry young.

You have more reading to do... two stories...

michelejoann

If you really love him, elope. Get married in Vegas by Elvis, or something.

Also, 21 is way too young, IMHO.

rukus1

Ah, you can forget flying the American Flag also! Lots to think about baby girl!

digitalbill

their jahovahs .... jahovahs are psyco...RUN!!!!!!

Hmm. Three misspelled words in a sentence of six. That's 50% wrong. (I know, because I finished 4th grade) Some people may be "psyco", but still more are illiterate. Go back to school.

Yes, obviously my psychosis is glowing.
I am an unsafe member of society. :grumble: (thats the best I could do for a crazy face.

karenwill2

sharing an anniversary with a holiday is NEVER a good idea. That means less gifts and that is just not cool.

rhonniema

You have been solid since you were 13 and now have questions? You've observed this family for years. JW's that I have met are pretty clear on what they believe. I don't remember any JW children in that age group that weren't locked into religion by their parents. I'm surprised that your Fiance chose out of his faith at that age. Really surprised. I dated a Baptist at 14 and the family waited 2 years to see if I converted. There was no other option in his mind, so we broke up. JW's are more intense than that. They also seem to marry young.

You mixed two different stories together.

JustJennie1

The thing is that it's both you and your fiances wedding, not his families and not your families. If they can't set aside decorations for a few hours just for the 2 of you to be happy, then thats their problem not yours. If anything they're the selfish ones. You didn't decide how their wedding went and they don't need to be in the business of yours. It's that simple. They don't have to be happy about your wedding, only the 2 people being wed should have any concern with it.

You need to read more. The family are Jehovah's. It has nothing to do with them being "selfish"

econut2000

You are young, so start setting boundaries now. You and your future spouse are the only people who get to decide what/when you have a wedding. Unless someone else is paying for it, then they get some input into cost options, budget, etc. You also get to decide who to invite. If people who are invited choose not to attend, that is their decision and they are the only people responsible for that decision. Your wedding belongs to you and the groom. Everyone else should be delighted to be invited and respectful of your wedding choices. (period)

This is very true. You also need to decide prior to the wedding if marrying him is worth putting up a fight anytime the two of you want to do something and want to include his family. I know it seems like "Our love is all that matters...." but take it from someone who also was engaged very young like you, it's a mistake I'm glad I didn't make! As you get older you realize it's the little things in a marriage that will break it up.

Good luck!!!!! :flowerforyou:

tiffany5839

Really who cares about the decorations at the wedding! I would be more concerned about not being able to celebrate all holidays as a family, especially if that will effect my future children and their beliefs. Think of having to deal with that crap long term! Every Holiday that comes up will turn into a fight and your kids won't be able to celebrate their b-days. I would definately break up with someone over that! Holidays are such a big part of my familes life and I love them! I'm shocked they are okay with him marrying someone that's not a JW themselves. Save yourself the trouble and break up with him. It sounds like a recipe for disaster!

jlnk

I'm sure this has already been said, but I'd iron this out BEFORE you get married. Sorry you are dealing with this. Best of luck.

aqm22

I'm loving all the controversy here! Holy crap. Lol

Wow, you sound mature. Now, I'm sorry I even gave out advice.

Note to self: Never give you advice to an immature brat again. She's probably trolling.

digitalbill

I'm loving all the controversy here! Holy crap. Lol

Wow, you sound mature. Now, I'm sorry I even gave out advice.

Note to self: Never give you advice to an immature brat again. She's probably trolling.

X2. You would think I would know better by now...

randomgyrl

How did we end up with 11 pages trying to give advice to someone who probably made up the issue to begin with looking for attention? Especially since less than two hours before starting this thread she started another ones asking for winter wedding ideas, yet never once mentioned the whole "holiday controversy". Quit indulging the crazies.