The Science Behind "Nice" People

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Replies

  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    Actually, he expressed his opinions and you changed what he said to try to make yet another 'I am big and scary' comment. Yes we get it, you are a lawyer, you do martial arts, you are big, you feel the need to equate yourself to a gorilla ad nausea. The scary bit, well, you are entitled to your self-aggrandizing opinions of yourself.
    Thanks. Do I have your permission to continue? Moving forward, I'll email you my string topics in advance for your prior approval before I go off discussing things on the forum.

    Please accept my apologies. How dare I do and say things as though I have the right to do and say things.

    You are very welcome. As you well know, you do not need my permission to post whatever asinine comments you want.

    As for the acceptance of you apology...well, apologies are only good when the person does not intend to do what they are apologizing for again and I am sure you will continue.
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    I'm not sure what your argument is. Does my screen name validate your constant need to prove yourself, or is it easier just to deflect?
    You named your MFP account after the son of God, and the subsequent catalyst for one of the largest religions on the planet.

    Yes. Clearly it is my ego that is misguided here.
  • VegesaurusRex
    VegesaurusRex Posts: 1,018
    Not if he consents she's not. There are a number of legal precedents for consenting to assault--professional boxing being the most obvious.
    I can promise you, there are no legal precedents in which someone "consents to assault." Mainly because the legal definition of "assault," is battery, or the threat of battery, without consent.

    The "precedent" you're attempting to quote (badly by the way) is known as "assumption of risk." "Assumption of risk" is a tort defense which prohibits a plaintiff from recovery against a tortfeasor upon the defendant's demonstration that the plaintiff voluntarily and knowingly assumed the risk associated with a dangerous activity that subsequently caused damage or injury.

    Again, none of this has anything to do with the discussion.

    Just out of curiosity, why do you feel the need to argue with me and opine on topics you clearly do not understand?

    I could easily ask the same of you with regard to your original post. However, you are correct, the law is not my area of expertise, so I won't bother continuing the argument. I would be curious to see an explanation of why, if battery is always illegal, professional boxers, MMA fighters, etc. aren't all arrested when they exit the ring.

    Millisent, Bozzo the Lawyer is actually right, but not for the reasons he gives. Battery is a crime because the state has an interest in preventing it. You cannot consent to being murdered or being beaten upon, or a number of other things, because the act of murder or battery is defined in the law (elements of the crime, all of which are accomplished whether consented to or not), and consent is not a defense.
  • secrets_out
    secrets_out Posts: 684 Member
    I am just curious...be it science or opinion, why did you post this? What are you hoping people take away from it? I guess my small, simple mind feels that being kind is free, It's easy to do and it sometimes can be the difference in a persons good day and bad day. It's your right to post this and believe it, I'm just curious as to the purpose..
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    You is kind.
    You is smart.
    You is important.
  • SuperstarDJ
    SuperstarDJ Posts: 443 Member
    That's life: people can and will screw you over. You get over it and move on - be thankful you're not like them.
    So, you're saying, first be a victim, then get over it. And then be thankful you're the victim, and not like them, the aggressor.

    I'm gonna go with "no" on that one. Accepting yourself as the victim, establishes your opponent as the victor.
    No, I don't consider myself a "victim" if somebody screws me over. That's life. If you consider yourself a victim everytime life (or somebody) throws you lemons then you're going to spend your life in self-pitying, "poor me", victim mode. There is nothing quite as miserable or plain boring to be around as someone in that state of mind.
    But to believe everyone you meet is potentially going to screw you over seems very cynical to me and not a very nice world to inhabit.
    I'm curious, on which world do you reside, exactly?
    A world where every single stranger I bump into is not a potential threat. As someone else said here, I am pretty indifferent to strangers until they engage with me. If they are friendly, chatty and respectful I will reciprocate. If they're horrible, I'll just walk away and waste no more energy on them. Simple. What others do is completely out if my control. How I react, however, is completely in my control. I like to think that people are, for the most, ordinary decent folk. I am not naïve enough to believe that everyone is lovely, but unless they very clearly pose a threat to me then, I believe, it's just a nicer world to live in to assume they're OK.
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    I am just curious...be it science or opinion, why did you post this? What are you hoping people take away from it? I guess my small, simple mind feels that being kind is free, It's easy to do and it sometimes can be the difference in a persons good day and bad day. It's your right to post this and believe it, I'm just curious as to the purpose..
    Actually, it was a follow-up to people from the following string, saying that I'm not "nice." And that that I'm big and scary.
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/733188-poll-overly-nice-people
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
    I'm not sure what your argument is. Does my screen name validate your constant need to prove yourself, or is it easier just to deflect?
    You named your MFP account after the son of God, and the subsequent catalyst for one of the largest religions on the planet.

    Yes. Clearly it is my ego that is misguided here.

    First of all, if we want to talk about my downfalls we will need to start a new forum group, possibly even an entire new website. Secondly, it's a actually a blasphemous expression misspelled to be a twist on my actual name. We can discuss my need to be clever and lack at succeeding in on the previously mentioned chrisisatool.com.

    And thirdly... Actually, I forgot my third point while coming up with the first two. Honestly, I forget my whole point of posting. I just look for something to argue about.

    Please, go back to explaining how scary you are or whatever it was.
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
    I am just curious...be it science or opinion, why did you post this?

    To serve his own needs of survival and to propagate his own genetic code, of course, cuz it's been mathematically proven that that's the only reason people do anything! :wink:
  • jadesign19
    jadesign19 Posts: 512 Member
    Big, mean & scary?? :love:

    One of my favorite movie quotes ever is "I want you to be nice, until it's time to not be nice" (Roadhouse - Patrick Swayze mmmmmm)
    That's me - I'm nice at first but I really don't trust anyone and once I'm hurt or pissed off I tend to just cut people off and not look back.

    Me too! I always give the benefit of the doubt. But I learned that once bitten...no more chances.

    The OP does seem a bit ....scary. So nothing personal ok ;)
  • musiche
    musiche Posts: 214 Member
    You get what you give.

    Your mentality is kind of the chicken/egg philosophy. Do you get *kitten* on because you *kitten* on others, or do others *kitten* on you because you *kitten* on them. It's give and take, it goes both ways. Like I said, you get what you give. Give someone a chance to be good to you, and maybe you'll stop seeing the negative side of everyone.
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
    I am just curious...be it science or opinion, why did you post this? What are you hoping people take away from it? I guess my small, simple mind feels that being kind is free, It's easy to do and it sometimes can be the difference in a persons good day and bad day. It's your right to post this and believe it, I'm just curious as to the purpose..
    Actually, it was a follow-up to people from the following string, saying that I'm not "nice." And that that I'm big and scary.
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/733188-poll-overly-nice-people

    Ah, that makes sense - and with using your theory too. Self-defence, for survival in the MFP community.
  • Fit_2013
    Fit_2013 Posts: 326 Member
    I must be the oldest person replying to your thread but I tend to agree and nice to know that there was study on this topic.
    I consider myself being kind and nice to people and I donate all lot of my things to poor children in India but sometimes I do feel the altruism gets me out of my subclinical depression,gets me happy if fact donating does more good for me than the other person receiving it. Technically I feel we are nice because we get something out of it.
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    I am just curious...be it science or opinion, why did you post this?

    To serve his own needs of survival and to propagate his own genetic code, of course, cuz it's been mathematically proven that that's the only reason people do anything! :wink:
    No more propagation for me. Four is enough. ;)
  • SuperstarDJ
    SuperstarDJ Posts: 443 Member
    You get what you give.

    Your mentality is kind of the chicken/egg philosophy. Do you get *kitten* on because you *kitten* on others, or do others *kitten* on you because you *kitten* on them. It's give and take, it goes both ways. Like I said, you get what you give. Give someone a chance to be good to you, and maybe you'll stop seeing the negative side of everyone.

    ^^This^^
    Over 70% of communication is non-verbal. What vibes are you giving off if you mistrust everyone? What sort of people do you think you attract if you're a mistrustful person?
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    I am just curious...be it science or opinion, why did you post this? What are you hoping people take away from it? I guess my small, simple mind feels that being kind is free, It's easy to do and it sometimes can be the difference in a persons good day and bad day. It's your right to post this and believe it, I'm just curious as to the purpose..
    Actually, it was a follow-up to people from the following string, saying that I'm not "nice." And that that I'm big and scary.
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/733188-poll-overly-nice-people

    Actually, YOU were the only person to actually call you scary before you posted a link to this thread in that thread.
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    Ah, that makes sense - and with using your theory too. Self-defence, for survival in the MFP community.
    That, and the topic is slightly more thought-provoking than "WATS HAWT ABOUT THE PERSON ABOVE U." Not that those strings aren't entertaining as well.
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    Actually, YOU were the only person to actually call you scary before you posted a link to this thread in that thread.
    Most of the "scary" comments were in private messages. I'd share, but that's not my style... Plus, it's against the rules, and I always follow the rules. ;)
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    Actually, YOU were the only person to actually call you scary before you posted a link to this thread in that thread.
    Most of the "scary" comments were in private messages. I'd share, but that's not my style... Plus, it's against the rules, and I always follow the rules. ;)

    How convenient.
  • penniemh
    penniemh Posts: 124 Member
    Personally I like how RAH put it:


    "Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil."

    and

    "Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage."

    and

    "The greatest productive force is human selfishness."

    and

    "Being generous is inborn; being altruistic is a learned perversity. No resemblance--"

    Cheers,
    -Pennie
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    I must be the oldest person replying to your thread but I tend to agree and nice to know that there was study on this topic.
    I consider myself being kind and nice to people and I donate all lot of my things to poor children in India but sometimes I do feel the altruism gets me out of my subclinical depression,gets me happy if fact donating does more good for me than the other person receiving it. Technically I feel we are nice because we get something out of it.

    No, you aren't the oldest person here by a long shot.

    Even if there's a self-benefit from your efforts to be 'nice', that doesn't mean there isn't a main benefit to the people you aim to help. I might make the analogy to pharmaceuticals: there's a known main effect of the drug, and there are potential side effects. GorillaEsq wants us to focus on the side effects. I say that you are 'nice' because you are acting altruistically with the goal of improving people's lives. If it helps your subclinical depression, so much the better.
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    Over 70% of communication is non-verbal. What vibes are you giving off if you mistrust everyone? What sort of people do you think you attract if you're a mistrustful person?
    Only the ones I choose to trust and engage. Which, for the record is a fundamental human right, and the premise for virtually all self-defense statutes. ;)

    (Sorry, fixed a typo.)
  • wolfpack77
    wolfpack77 Posts: 655
    How dare you try and match wits with a big, scary lawyer. A rebellious and insecure one with a big vocabulary at that.

    http://www.springerlink.com/content/j3jt7288vm304204/

    Awaiting condescending response in 3...2...1..

    Flame suit on.

    98578.jpeg
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    Actually, YOU were the only person to actually call you scary before you posted a link to this thread in that thread.
    Most of the "scary" comments were in private messages. I'd share, but that's not my style... Plus, it's against the rules, and I always follow the rules. ;)
    How convenient.
    So, I not only need to clear my forum topics with you, I need to disclose my messages to you as well?

    I'm just 0 for 2 with you today.

    I wouldn't put up with my crap anymore. I'd withhold my paycheck too.
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    How dare you try and match wits with a big, scary lawyer. A rebellious and insecure one with a big vocabulary at that.

    http://www.springerlink.com/content/j3jt7288vm304204/

    Awaiting condescending response in 3...2...1..

    Flame suit on.

    98578.jpeg

    Haha!

    I have also observed how he avoids certain posts altogether (and ,no, not mine that tend to be wimpy), when it is clear he's out of his league, or might need to concede a point or two. Typical lawyerly behavior.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    I'm not nice to anyone and I still get what I want. Science is wrong. Je suis un anomalie!

    ETA: I also don't think you're big or scary.
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
    Ah, that makes sense - and with using your theory too. Self-defence, for survival in the MFP community.
    That, and the topic is slightly more thought-provoking than "WATS HAWT ABOUT THE PERSON ABOVE U."

    Yep, I'll give you that. And what you were saying is standard in psychology courses - just not the bit about it being mathematically proven! And the fact that people are offended at the idea that doing nice things is selfishly motivated is perhaps proof (in the lay definition - not mathematical proof!) of the theory - people like to see themselves as nice people, both for preservation of their own self-image and sanity, and also because that is what keeps society going. But that is because the word 'selfish' is seen in a negative way in our society, whereas in fact an instinct for self-preservation (which is more what you're talking about) is healthy and necessary.
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
    I really hope this guy is a better lawyer than he is coming off as in this thread.

    "Sir, can you explain why your client was in possession of 3 kilograms of cocaine?"

    "Your honor, look at the prosecution - he is clearly wearing a very silly tie!"
  • wild_wild_life
    wild_wild_life Posts: 1,334 Member
    I really hope this guy is a better lawyer than he is coming off as in this thread.

    "Sir, can you explain why your client was in possession of 3 kilograms of cocaine?"

    "Your honor, look at the prosecution - he is clearly wearing a very silly tie!"

    Was that your third point? :smile:
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
    I read the beginning post and skipped bc I didn't want to read 8 pages.....Sure, I think people are all out to get things, but who cares?
    Things like love, attention, companionship these are mutally good things (mostly).
    Of course there are the other things that ppl want from you, but meh, just move on.
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