The Science Behind "Nice" People

musiche

You get what you give.

Your mentality is kind of the chicken/egg philosophy. Do you get *kitten* on because you *kitten* on others, or do others *kitten* on you because you *kitten* on them. It's give and take, it goes both ways. Like I said, you get what you give. Give someone a chance to be good to you, and maybe you'll stop seeing the negative side of everyone.

opuntia

I am just curious...be it science or opinion, why did you post this? What are you hoping people take away from it? I guess my small, simple mind feels that being kind is free, It's easy to do and it sometimes can be the difference in a persons good day and bad day. It's your right to post this and believe it, I'm just curious as to the purpose..

Actually, it was a follow-up to people from the following string, saying that I'm not "nice." And that that I'm big and scary.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/733188-poll-overly-nice-people

Ah, that makes sense - and with using your theory too. Self-defence, for survival in the MFP community.

Fit_2013

I must be the oldest person replying to your thread but I tend to agree and nice to know that there was study on this topic.
I consider myself being kind and nice to people and I donate all lot of my things to poor children in India but sometimes I do feel the altruism gets me out of my subclinical depression,gets me happy if fact donating does more good for me than the other person receiving it. Technically I feel we are nice because we get something out of it.

GorillaEsq

I am just curious...be it science or opinion, why did you post this?

To serve his own needs of survival and to propagate his own genetic code, of course, cuz it's been mathematically proven that that's the only reason people do anything!

No more propagation for me. Four is enough.

SuperstarDJ

You get what you give.

Your mentality is kind of the chicken/egg philosophy. Do you get *kitten* on because you *kitten* on others, or do others *kitten* on you because you *kitten* on them. It's give and take, it goes both ways. Like I said, you get what you give. Give someone a chance to be good to you, and maybe you'll stop seeing the negative side of everyone.

^^This^^
Over 70% of communication is non-verbal. What vibes are you giving off if you mistrust everyone? What sort of people do you think you attract if you're a mistrustful person?

Sarauk2sf

I am just curious...be it science or opinion, why did you post this? What are you hoping people take away from it? I guess my small, simple mind feels that being kind is free, It's easy to do and it sometimes can be the difference in a persons good day and bad day. It's your right to post this and believe it, I'm just curious as to the purpose..

Actually, it was a follow-up to people from the following string, saying that I'm not "nice." And that that I'm big and scary.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/733188-poll-overly-nice-people

Actually, YOU were the only person to actually call you scary before you posted a link to this thread in that thread.

GorillaEsq

Ah, that makes sense - and with using your theory too. Self-defence, for survival in the MFP community.

That, and the topic is slightly more thought-provoking than "WATS HAWT ABOUT THE PERSON ABOVE U." Not that those strings aren't entertaining as well.

GorillaEsq

Actually, YOU were the only person to actually call you scary before you posted a link to this thread in that thread.

Most of the "scary" comments were in private messages. I'd share, but that's not my style... Plus, it's against the rules, and I always follow the rules.

Sarauk2sf

Actually, YOU were the only person to actually call you scary before you posted a link to this thread in that thread.

Most of the "scary" comments were in private messages. I'd share, but that's not my style... Plus, it's against the rules, and I always follow the rules.

How convenient.

penniemh

Personally I like how RAH put it:


"Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil."

and

"Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage."

and

"The greatest productive force is human selfishness."

and

"Being generous is inborn; being altruistic is a learned perversity. No resemblance--"

Cheers,
-Pennie

_VoV

I must be the oldest person replying to your thread but I tend to agree and nice to know that there was study on this topic.
I consider myself being kind and nice to people and I donate all lot of my things to poor children in India but sometimes I do feel the altruism gets me out of my subclinical depression,gets me happy if fact donating does more good for me than the other person receiving it. Technically I feel we are nice because we get something out of it.

No, you aren't the oldest person here by a long shot.

Even if there's a self-benefit from your efforts to be 'nice', that doesn't mean there isn't a main benefit to the people you aim to help. I might make the analogy to pharmaceuticals: there's a known main effect of the drug, and there are potential side effects. GorillaEsq wants us to focus on the side effects. I say that you are 'nice' because you are acting altruistically with the goal of improving people's lives. If it helps your subclinical depression, so much the better.

GorillaEsq

Over 70% of communication is non-verbal. What vibes are you giving off if you mistrust everyone? What sort of people do you think you attract if you're a mistrustful person?

Only the ones I choose to trust and engage. Which, for the record is a fundamental human right, and the premise for virtually all self-defense statutes.

(Sorry, fixed a typo.)

wolfpack77

How dare you try and match wits with a big, scary lawyer. A rebellious and insecure one with a big vocabulary at that.

http://www.springerlink.com/content/j3jt7288vm304204/

Awaiting condescending response in 3...2...1..

Flame suit on.

GorillaEsq

Actually, YOU were the only person to actually call you scary before you posted a link to this thread in that thread.

Most of the "scary" comments were in private messages. I'd share, but that's not my style... Plus, it's against the rules, and I always follow the rules.

How convenient.

So, I not only need to clear my forum topics with you, I need to disclose my messages to you as well?

I'm just 0 for 2 with you today.

I wouldn't put up with my crap anymore. I'd withhold my paycheck too.

_VoV

How dare you try and match wits with a big, scary lawyer. A rebellious and insecure one with a big vocabulary at that.

http://www.springerlink.com/content/j3jt7288vm304204/

Awaiting condescending response in 3...2...1..

Flame suit on.

Haha!

I have also observed how he avoids certain posts altogether (and ,no, not mine that tend to be wimpy), when it is clear he's out of his league, or might need to concede a point or two. Typical lawyerly behavior.

ShreddedTweet

I'm not nice to anyone and I still get what I want. Science is wrong. Je suis un anomalie!

ETA: I also don't think you're big or scary.

opuntia

Ah, that makes sense - and with using your theory too. Self-defence, for survival in the MFP community.

That, and the topic is slightly more thought-provoking than "WATS HAWT ABOUT THE PERSON ABOVE U."

Yep, I'll give you that. And what you were saying is standard in psychology courses - just not the bit about it being mathematically proven! And the fact that people are offended at the idea that doing nice things is selfishly motivated is perhaps proof (in the lay definition - not mathematical proof!) of the theory - people like to see themselves as nice people, both for preservation of their own self-image and sanity, and also because that is what keeps society going. But that is because the word 'selfish' is seen in a negative way in our society, whereas in fact an instinct for self-preservation (which is more what you're talking about) is healthy and necessary.

jesusHchris

I really hope this guy is a better lawyer than he is coming off as in this thread.

"Sir, can you explain why your client was in possession of 3 kilograms of cocaine?"

"Your honor, look at the prosecution - he is clearly wearing a very silly tie!"

wild_wild_life

I really hope this guy is a better lawyer than he is coming off as in this thread.

"Sir, can you explain why your client was in possession of 3 kilograms of cocaine?"

"Your honor, look at the prosecution - he is clearly wearing a very silly tie!"

Was that your third point?

RedHeadDevotchka

I read the beginning post and skipped bc I didn't want to read 8 pages.....Sure, I think people are all out to get things, but who cares?
Things like love, attention, companionship these are mutally good things (mostly).
Of course there are the other things that ppl want from you, but meh, just move on.