Body Envy /rant

How often do you catch yourself looking at someone else and wishing you looked like them? I've lost 78 out of the 110 pounds I needed to lose and I feel like this feeling is intensifying the closer I get to my goal. I watch some K-pop videos and I feel so envious of the women in them as even when I hit my goal I won't be anywhere near as good-looking as they are. I'd have to lose bone mass to get as thin as they are. I worry that when I hit my goal that I'll still be "fat" in comparison. I know I'm being stupid but I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this. Even my bf has commented that I need to stop comparing myself to other women on TV/online/real life. I'm a bit of a perfectionist so obviously it's a hard habit to drop as I'll never active perfection as it doesn't exist...except in Photoshop. >.<
«1345678

Replies

  • letjog
    letjog Posts: 260 Member
    sigh.... the sad truth about modern society and media influence
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
    :raises hand:

    Hi, my name is Alleycat88, and I'm a body-envyist.
  • waronmyfat
    waronmyfat Posts: 322 Member
    you can still be like them.. all you need to do is once you've hit your goal weight.. change your training to maintaining it and shaping and toning.. :) you can do it babe
  • victorious27
    victorious27 Posts: 250 Member
    :raises hand:

    Hi, my name is Alleycat88, and I'm a body-envyist.

    Hi, my name is victorious27, and I, too, am a body-envyist.
  • marketdimlylit
    marketdimlylit Posts: 1,601 Member
    I'm definitely one of them, comparing myself is, well, not nice - doesn't do me any good, unless it motivates me to work harder to be 'slimmer' or more toned.
  • Hendrix7
    Hendrix7 Posts: 1,903 Member
    I would be more concered that you are watching k-pop.
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    you can still be like them.. all you need to do is once you've hit your goal weight.. change your training to maintaining it and shaping and toning.. :) you can do it babe

    I don't think with my Germanic build I can become thin and perfect like the Korean women.
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    I would be more concered that you are watching k-pop.

    ...Some of it is catchy, and I like fun beats. But I guess you're only allowed to like the music from your own country of origin right? :P
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    sigh.... the sad truth about modern society and media influence

    Indeed. It's not always K-pop singers I find myself envying, it's Sofia Vergara, Christina Hendricks, Julienne Hough, pretty much anybody famous. Must be nice to have a staff dedicated to make yourself beautiful every day. :P
  • waronmyfat
    waronmyfat Posts: 322 Member
    you can still be like them.. all you need to do is once you've hit your goal weight.. change your training to maintaining it and shaping and toning.. :) you can do it babe

    I don't think with my Germanic build I can become thin and perfect like the Korean women.

    there are german women who are stunning with beautiful bodies you could be one of them its all your in attitude .. by having that attitude which you said above you won't do it because your not believing in yourself and have already lost the battle... who cares if your bigger bone embrace it and work it to your advantage girl... tone and shape it
  • Serafimangel
    Serafimangel Posts: 174 Member
    Grass is greener? Korea has the highest volume of clients for plastic surgery in asia (percentage wise)
    You never will look like a korean woman, you're not korean, even if it is just bodyshape, people are built differently and koren girls have got very slim natural builds, hows about going for a blonde bombshell instead? A porcelin ice queen? A roman goddess?
    Comparing yourself in such a way could become quite destructive, when you hit your goal weight, you will look fabulous, don't throw all that effort and hard work away for an unrealistic goal.

    (this is from personal experience, I wanted to look like belle from beauty and the beast when I was younger, at a size 2 I still thought I looked fat cos I wasn't as skinny as her, yes she was a cartoon character and yes I knew that, but it didn't kind of sink in)
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    you can still be like them.. all you need to do is once you've hit your goal weight.. change your training to maintaining it and shaping and toning.. :) you can do it babe

    I don't think with my Germanic build I can become thin and perfect like the Korean women.

    there are german women who are stunning with beautiful bodies you could be one of them its all your in attitude .. by having that attitude which you said above you won't do it because your not believing in yourself and have already lost the battle... who cares if your bigger bone embrace it and work it to your advantage girl... tone and shape it

    Technically I'm an Irish, Scottish, English and Swedish (the side that I believe I share more of it's traits). I don't know of many large framed petite women with beautiful bodies on TV. I believe I'll hit my goal of 150, I just think it won't be enough to make me look good and I'm not sure if I can be much smaller than that with my bone and muscle structure unless I lose muscle and bone mass. >.<
  • ksavy
    ksavy Posts: 271 Member
    I could never be as thin as some of the girls that I see. I do not have my own preferred body type. I like the willowy look and that is just not something I can physically become. I am wide enough across the hips that those small sizes actually fit between my hipbones when I hold them up to me, so I know I could never where them.
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    Grass is greener? Korea has the highest volume of clients for plastic surgery in asia (percentage wise)
    You never will look like a korean woman, you're not korean, even if it is just bodyshape, people are built differently and koren girls have got very slim natural builds, hows about going for a blonde bombshell instead? A porcelin ice queen? A roman goddess?
    Comparing yourself in such a way could become quite destructive, when you hit your goal weight, you will look fabulous, don't throw all that effort and hard work away for an unrealistic goal.

    (this is from personal experience, I wanted to look like belle from beauty and the beast when I was younger, at a size 2 I still thought I looked fat cos I wasn't as skinny as her, yes she was a cartoon character and yes I knew that, but it didn't kind of sink in)

    Ice queen? Isn't that another term for being a cold-hearted *****? I may be misinterpreting you. Although I kinda see what you're saying. I guess I'll just never visit Asia. Because even if I hit my goal weight, I'd look like a mammoth next to the locals. >.<

    I used to pray that I would hit puberty and turn into an Asian so I would be super thin and pretty forever. Obviously I never got my wish. Instead I hit puberty, gained a bunch of weight and am still struggling with it today. So I never got to be a pretty girl and have no self confidence and never feel good enough.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    You may want to try practicing NOT comparing yourself to others.

    Sorry to say, but there will ALWAYS be someone hotter than you.
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    I could never be as thin as some of the girls that I see. I do not have my own preferred body type. I like the willowy look and that is just not something I can physically become. I am wide enough across the hips that those small sizes actually fit between my hipbones when I hold them up to me, so I know I could never where them.

    Yeah. I just want to never be seen as thick or fat in any way, shape or form. My mother always talked about how she used to be so skinny and I never got to be that. I don't even know what I'd look like thin but I can guarantee that it'll probably be better than I do now. I want to be able to pull something off the rack and know that it'll look good on me without having to try it on first. But with my bust and hips, that'll never happen.
  • waronmyfat
    waronmyfat Posts: 322 Member
    you can still be like them.. all you need to do is once you've hit your goal weight.. change your training to maintaining it and shaping and toning.. :) you can do it babe

    I don't think with my Germanic build I can become thin and perfect like the Korean women.

    there are german women who are stunning with beautiful bodies you could be one of them its all your in attitude .. by having that attitude which you said above you won't do it because your not believing in yourself and have already lost the battle... who cares if your bigger bone embrace it and work it to your advantage girl... tone and shape it

    Technically I'm an Irish, Scottish, English and Swedish (the side that I believe I share more of it's traits). I don't know of many large framed petite women with beautiful bodies on TV. I believe I'll hit my goal of 150, I just think it won't be enough to make me look good and I'm not sure if I can be much smaller than that with my bone and muscle structure unless I lose muscle and bone mass. >.<

    Your never going to do it then your attitude stinks and you've already lost because your telling yourself you can't...
  • I cant do that or I would drive myself nuts Im already my own worst critic
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    You may want to try practicing NOT comparing yourself to others.

    Sorry to say, but there will ALWAYS be someone hotter than you.

    It's really hard, especially when women are pretty much all drafted into the beauty contest called life as soon as we are born. We're not described based on our achievements, intellect or nothing like that. Listen to how people describe kids, "the cute/pretty/beautiful girl" and the "funny/smart/strong boy." We're only graded on our appearance, as society doesn't value a thinking woman. Look at the Olympics, Gabby Douglas got gold medals and people were freaking out about her HAIR. So obviously, this behavior is reinforced by a society who only wants our women to be seen and not heard.
  • You may want to try practicing NOT comparing yourself to others.

    Sorry to say, but there will ALWAYS be someone hotter than you.

    Yeah, this is what my mother used to tell me (but in a helpful way, not a crazy-mom-wants-her-daughter-to-feel-bad kind of way). I'm a HUGE comparer and also a perfectionist, so I think we're similar. The only way I coped was to work and work and work and work and work and work until I thought MY body was the best it could possibly be. Now, if I see someone else with a really long, flat stomach or a fantastic bedonk, I don't feel as bad, because I've come to accept my body shape.
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    you can still be like them.. all you need to do is once you've hit your goal weight.. change your training to maintaining it and shaping and toning.. :) you can do it babe

    I don't think with my Germanic build I can become thin and perfect like the Korean women.

    there are german women who are stunning with beautiful bodies you could be one of them its all your in attitude .. by having that attitude which you said above you won't do it because your not believing in yourself and have already lost the battle... who cares if your bigger bone embrace it and work it to your advantage girl... tone and shape it

    Technically I'm an Irish, Scottish, English and Swedish (the side that I believe I share more of it's traits). I don't know of many large framed petite women with beautiful bodies on TV. I believe I'll hit my goal of 150, I just think it won't be enough to make me look good and I'm not sure if I can be much smaller than that with my bone and muscle structure unless I lose muscle and bone mass. >.<

    Your never going to do it then your attitude stinks and you've already lost because your telling yourself you can't...

    Yes, allow me to change my race and bone structure at will with the power of magic fairy dust, then all my dreams will come true. There's a difference between being negative and being realistic. There's only so much a positive attitude can accomplish.
  • I have a horrible time with this!

    I have always struggled with this.

    I am of average size, and I always look at the smaller ones with envy. (most of them.) But I also look at women bigger than me, that are rocking some great girly curves and I have HORRIBLE envy as well. I will never be curvy without injections and/or implants.

    So my new trick when I start feeling jealous is to think about:
    I have my health
    I have my health
    I have my health



    There will ALWAYS be someone prettier, smarter, funnier... whatever.

    I have my health.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Remember they have make up artist, lighting specialist, photoshop, video photoshop, money to buy a better body. Ect. I often cant watch a lot of TV or music videos because I become so jealous and hateful of myself. I say listen to the music dont watch it. Dance and try to be grateful for what you have. Not focus on what you dont have. I know this is very hard I struggle with it everday.
  • waronmyfat
    waronmyfat Posts: 322 Member
    {/quote}Yes, allow me to change my race and bone structure at will with the power of magic fairy dust, then all my dreams will come true. There's a difference between being negative and being realistic. There's only so much a positive attitude can accomplish.
    [/quote]

    I've already told you what you need to do to achieve this.. and you need to start by changing your attitude and beliving in yourself.. maintain your goal weight, shape and tone and you can do it and get a hot body.. but you have to change your way of thinking you can lead a horse to water but you cant force it to drink... in other words can advise you what to do but only you can follow through with this and do it
  • smilingalltheway
    smilingalltheway Posts: 216 Member
    I think you need to put as much work into loving yourself as you have loseing the weight you have.You have beautiful eyes and a very nicely shaped mouth. You need to look in the mirror every day and tell yourself what you love about yourself. Stop looking outward and start looking inward.. You are an amazing person so be the best you, you can be and love yourself
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    ive already told you what you need to do to accomplish a hot body.. one is attitude and believing in yourself the other is maintaining your weight and toning and shaping!!! it's very much ahievable but you need to stop wishing you was like someone else because your not your you so you need to deal with it and stop been so negative

    And what if after all that, I'm still not hot? What if I'm just destined for mediocrity? I'm only 32 pounds away from my goal and I'm not too impressed. Those last 32 pounds are gonna have to have a miracle with them to make me bikini ready. Sorry, I'm having a down day. I swear I'm happier most of the time. >.<
  • I am so glad I have managed to escape this trap.

    I am nowhere close to "prefect" and yet I totally dig my less than flat tummy and thigh jiggle. Even if I could, I wouldn't change anything about myself. I think it's sad when women don't just love and embrace themselves. Sure society sets women up to have body issues, but if you realize society does that, you can overcome it within yourself and work to bring change. If you don't, then you're just part of the problem, eh?
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    I have a horrible time with this!

    I have always struggled with this.

    I am of average size, and I always look at the smaller ones with envy. (most of them.) But I also look at women bigger than me, that are rocking some great girly curves and I have HORRIBLE envy as well. I will never be curvy without injections and/or implants.

    So my new trick when I start feeling jealous is to think about:
    I have my health
    I have my health
    I have my health



    There will ALWAYS be someone prettier, smarter, funnier... whatever.

    I have my health.

    I'll have to start doing this. I swear I'm never sick, ever. Best immune system ever. :P
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    Remember they have make up artist, lighting specialist, photoshop, video photoshop, money to buy a better body. Ect. I often cant watch a lot of TV or music videos because I become so jealous and hateful of myself. I say listen to the music dont watch it. Dance and try to be grateful for what you have. Not focus on what you dont have. I know this is very hard I struggle with it everday.

    I should have done that today, then I wouldn't have made this thread and would be enjoying the football game. :P
  • med2017
    med2017 Posts: 192 Member
    this. i think i used to spend 3 hours a day just looking at skinny girls. i became obsessed.