Body Envy /rant
Replies
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The first step is always admitting you have a problem! My mom has always compared herself to others and commented on it - yes, in front of a little, insecure girl. Now that I'm older and a lot stronger I can see how wrong it is and that it's not good for anything. I've been fighting that way of thinking for a while now, and it is possible!0
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ive already told you what you need to do to accomplish a hot body.. one is attitude and believing in yourself the other is maintaining your weight and toning and shaping!!! it's very much ahievable but you need to stop wishing you was like someone else because your not your you so you need to deal with it and stop been so negative
And what if after all that, I'm still not hot? What if I'm just destined for mediocrity? I'm only 32 pounds away from my goal and I'm not too impressed. Those last 32 pounds are gonna have to have a miracle with them to make me bikini ready. Sorry, I'm having a down day. I swear I'm happier most of the time. >.<
You will be hot. You might not be a size 00 but still super hot. If you tone your body it will look amazing no matter what size you are. That's what she's trying to tell you and you CAN do it.
I have body envy but every time I find myself comparing myself to someone skinnier I just think of how proud I am for the weight that I've lost and remind myself that I'm still working on it.0 -
lol0
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Can relate. The world these days makes it seem that women have to be a size 0-2 to be considered "in shape". That's so not true or possible. Average women range from anywhere between a size 6-10. That's what's average. It took me a long time to realize this that just because I don't look like someone else doesn't mean I'm not getting anywhere. Be confident in yourself, you've accomplished so much. Losing 78lbs so far. That's incredible. Be proud of yourself and keep pushing towards your goals. Be your own unique self and not like what's suppose to be portrayed on tv.....it's all fake anyway.0
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You will never be able to pull something off the rack and know that it will look good without trying it on. I'm going to just come out and say that I have a pretty slammin' body, I'm tall, I'm slim and I have a small bone structure/frame and I have never been able to pick anything up and say "this will definitely look good on me". Every piece of clothing is cut differently and uses different fabrics, you have to embrace your body type and learn to dress in a way that accentuates it and not just pick out whatever is supposed to be fashionable. Dressing for your body type without copying the magazines is called having style, and it's way cooler than the latest pair of jeans.
Totally agree. I can't for the life of me figure out how anyone buys clothes online without trying them on. When I buy jeans, I take the size I think I am, and the next size up and down into the dressing room with me. Sometimes I could try on every single size there is and NONE of them fit my body properly. Heck, there's been times that the size smaller was looser on me than the next size up, because there's so little consistency in sizing. I'll buy what fits and flatters, no matter what the tag says.
MAYBE for something like a stretchy t-shirt, I could buy it without trying it on. Maybe. But anything that's the slightest bit tailored and fitted needs to be tried on. Even if I'm buying two items in the same style and size but a different color or wash, I'll try them both on.
Sometimes I see that people who buy clothes without trying them on end up buying things that don't fit. I almost try things on just to get me out of buying them. "Oh it doesn't look good on me, back to the rack with yoooou!" I feel that the fitting room saves me money in a way. So I should still be grateful for having to try things on. :laugh:0 -
ive already told you what you need to do to accomplish a hot body.. one is attitude and believing in yourself the other is maintaining your weight and toning and shaping!!! it's very much ahievable but you need to stop wishing you was like someone else because your not your you so you need to deal with it and stop been so negative
And what if after all that, I'm still not hot? What if I'm just destined for mediocrity? I'm only 32 pounds away from my goal and I'm not too impressed. Those last 32 pounds are gonna have to have a miracle with them to make me bikini ready. Sorry, I'm having a down day. I swear I'm happier most of the time. >.<
You will be hot. You might not be a size 00 but still super hot. If you tone your body it will look amazing no matter what size you are. That's what she's trying to tell you and you CAN do it.
I have body envy but every time I find myself comparing myself to someone skinnier I just think of how proud I am for the weight that I've lost and remind myself that I'm still working on it.
This is what I'm slowly realizing. I'm just scared a bit because I have never been in shape so I have no idea what I'll look like. It's kinda exciting and scary at the same time. I'm trying to set goals for myself so I keep motivated. I wanna hit 170 by 2013. I'm at 182.8 at the moment so I got 16 weeks to make my goal. If I lose 1 pound a week, I'll definitely be in good shape. Yaaaay.
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Body envy is a huge problem, but it is something that can be changed to your advantage, molded into a positive. You can look at and appreciate other bodies, distance yourself from them and appreciate them like works of art. Every time you see a woman and think, "I wish I looked like that," change it too, "she is a beautiful woman," and leave it at that, or better yet, add, "and so am I." There is beauty in so many shapes/looks. Obviously, no one woman can be them all.
One thing I love love love love is seeing women who are not only comfortable in their own skin, but embrace and love their bodies with utter abandon. Have you ever been to a burlesque show? Now there is some body confidence.0 -
It's especially ridiculous because it's culturally induced. Not that we women shouldn't push back, but it's difficult to completely cast off cultural norms in a culture in which you still lack power. A lot of women don't think about it, or don't care, which is even sadder.
I've been reading this thread in fascination because I never realized so many women were so envious of others for such superficial reasons. I think it's quite sad. Even when I was young, I don't recall comparing myself to others. We all have different builds, strengths, weaknesses, etc. I just always wanted to be my best self.
But I wasn't going to type a response until I read this. I have to say "What the heck?????"
Really? You lack power? The only way you can lack power is to give your power away. The only way you can be wrapped up in ridiculous cultural norms that don't make any sense is if you allow those norms to get under your skin and effect you. If other women don't think about it or don't care, who cares? You are the only person you can control.
Good grief. I grew up in a time when Help Wanted ads were still listed separately as Men Only and Women Only. When there was no sexual harassment laws and I had to quit a job in high school because the boss pinched my butt every chance he got and there was no recourse but to quit. I was routinely paid 25-35% less than guys doing the same job I did. And there was no legal recourse, no ability to sue, nothing. Zip. It was the way it was.
Yes, we still live in a society with patriarchal tendencies but women have much more power than they have had at any time in history. By allowing yourself to envy other women, you're buying into patriarchal standards by judging yourself by what you think men prefer. And it's just a bunch of hooey.
I realize I've been lucky to be married to a man who thinks I'm hot and sexy whether I'm 130# or 230# or anywhere in-between. As long as I'm happy, he's happy. And I routinely point out beautiful women to him because there are women that leave me awe-struck with their beauty. I'm not jealous nor am I threatened by a beautiful woman. I simply appreciate beauty when I see it.
Only by grabbing and utilizing our own power, forging our own road and not buckling under to meaningless societal pressures, and by uplifting other women whether it be for their beauty or for their achievements or their wisdom or whatever, will women achieve equal power in this country. Quit whining and do it.
Oh, last comment, envy is never a good thing. You should never be motivated by envying others as that is motivation based from a negative and it usually creates negative emotions within us. Instead, be inspired. Inspiration is positive energy and more likely to yield positive results.
Rant over.
I absolutely LOVE this!0 -
It's especially ridiculous because it's culturally induced. Not that we women shouldn't push back, but it's difficult to completely cast off cultural norms in a culture in which you still lack power. A lot of women don't think about it, or don't care, which is even sadder.
I've been reading this thread in fascination because I never realized so many women were so envious of others for such superficial reasons. I think it's quite sad. Even when I was young, I don't recall comparing myself to others. We all have different builds, strengths, weaknesses, etc. I just always wanted to be my best self.
But I wasn't going to type a response until I read this. I have to say "What the heck?????"
Really? You lack power? The only way you can lack power is to give your power away. The only way you can be wrapped up in ridiculous cultural norms that don't make any sense is if you allow those norms to get under your skin and effect you. If other women don't think about it or don't care, who cares? You are the only person you can control.
Good grief. I grew up in a time when Help Wanted ads were still listed separately as Men Only and Women Only. When there was no sexual harassment laws and I had to quit a job in high school because the boss pinched my butt every chance he got and there was no recourse but to quit. I was routinely paid 25-35% less than guys doing the same job I did. And there was no legal recourse, no ability to sue, nothing. Zip. It was the way it was.
Yes, we still live in a society with patriarchal tendencies but women have much more power than they have had at any time in history. By allowing yourself to envy other women, you're buying into patriarchal standards by judging yourself by what you think men prefer. And it's just a bunch of hooey.
I realize I've been lucky to be married to a man who thinks I'm hot and sexy whether I'm 130# or 230# or anywhere in-between. As long as I'm happy, he's happy. And I routinely point out beautiful women to him because there are women that leave me awe-struck with their beauty. I'm not jealous nor am I threatened by a beautiful woman. I simply appreciate beauty when I see it.
Only by grabbing and utilizing our own power, forging our own road and not buckling under to meaningless societal pressures, and by uplifting other women whether it be for their beauty or for their achievements or their wisdom or whatever, will women achieve equal power in this country. Quit whining and do it.
Oh, last comment, envy is never a good thing. You should never be motivated by envying others as that is motivation based from a negative and it usually creates negative emotions within us. Instead, be inspired. Inspiration is positive energy and more likely to yield positive results.
Rant over.
I absolutely LOVE this!
So do I. Thank you for sharing your story and wisdom. 0 -
you can still be like them.. all you need to do is once you've hit your goal weight.. change your training to maintaining it and shaping and toning.. you can do it babe
I don't think with my Germanic build I can become thin and perfect like the Korean women.
Ironically, there are Korean women saying they can't be as perfect as you. You will always look like you, not like someone that is built completely different from you.0 -
Body envy is a huge problem, but it is something that can be changed to your advantage, molded into a positive. You can look at and appreciate other bodies, distance yourself from them and appreciate them like works of art. Every time you see a woman and think, "I wish I looked like that," change it too, "she is a beautiful woman," and leave it at that, or better yet, add, "and so am I." There is beauty in so many shapes/looks. Obviously, no one woman can be them all.
One thing I love love love love is seeing women who are not only comfortable in their own skin, but embrace and love their bodies with utter abandon. Have you ever been to a burlesque show? Now there is some body confidence.
No I haven't. I have been to drag shows though. Those are loads of fun and filled with very confident people.
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you can still be like them.. all you need to do is once you've hit your goal weight.. change your training to maintaining it and shaping and toning.. you can do it babe
I don't think with my Germanic build I can become thin and perfect like the Korean women.
Ironically, there are Korean women saying they can't be as perfect as you. You will always look like you, not like someone that is built completely different from you.
Weird, huh? Who would have thought that we are all perfect in some way? :P0 -
I would be more concered that you are watching k-pop.
...Some of it is catchy, and I like fun beats. But I guess you're only allowed to like the music from your own country of origin right? :P
Therei s NOTHING wrong with K-Pop, or J-Pop, or even J-Rock. I love the catchy tunes, I don't care if I can't understand the words, I can actually FEEL their music compared to Lady Gaga where it sounds like someone fell on a drum set with epilepsy. Her old stuff was good, her new stuff is just so... blah.
But I 100% feel ya... but it's the media. But think about it this way, when you hit your goal, some one out there is going to look at you and be like "wow I wish I had that body" might even be a skinny Korean girl. Not EVERYONE wants to be a stick thin person. Just be fit Besides, German builds are awesome! It'll give you more curves with the more you lose, your hips will stand out! 0 -
I would be more concered that you are watching k-pop.
...Some of it is catchy, and I like fun beats. But I guess you're only allowed to like the music from your own country of origin right? :P
Therei s NOTHING wrong with K-Pop, or J-Pop, or even J-Rock. I love the catchy tunes, I don't care if I can't understand the words, I can actually FEEL their music compared to Lady Gaga where it sounds like someone fell on a drum set with epilepsy. Her old stuff was good, her new stuff is just so... blah.
But I 100% feel ya... but it's the media. But think about it this way, when you hit your goal, some one out there is going to look at you and be like "wow I wish I had that body" might even be a skinny Korean girl. Not EVERYONE wants to be a stick thin person. Just be fit Besides, German builds are awesome! It'll give you more curves with the more you lose, your hips will stand out!
It's true. I find that American artists just don't have the beat or passion in their music anymore. They just wanna make money and don't care if they peddle crap. I like some American artists but not as many as before.
My hips are starting to stand out a little already, which is new for me. I'm just glad to finally have a defined waistline. I'll have to accept my hourglass and realize I'm never gonna be super tiny and that's just fine. I don't think my bf would like me really tiny anyway. He's a big boy and he would be scared of breaking me.0 -
you can still be like them.. all you need to do is once you've hit your goal weight.. change your training to maintaining it and shaping and toning.. you can do it babe
I don't think with my Germanic build I can become thin and perfect like the Korean women.
Ironically, there are Korean women saying they can't be as perfect as you. You will always look like you, not like someone that is built completely different from you.
Weird, huh? Who would have thought that we are all perfect in some way? :P
I've heard that wide Western eyes and creased eyelids are something certain Asian subcultures become jealous of. You see them going to extremes to get the blonde hair you already have... No kidding, the grass is always greener elsewhere. When I was somewhat recently in Japan, most of the teenage/20-something girls were wearing sky-high heels all the time, and it was very obvious that some of them already had ankle problems because of it. Just to look a little taller? They're sometimes gorgeous, sometimes very flawed, just like everyone else.0 -
I've heard that wide Western eyes and creased eyelids are something certain Asian subcultures become jealous of. You see them going to extremes to get the blonde hair you already have... No kidding, the grass is always greener elsewhere. When I was somewhat recently in Japan, most of the teenage/20-something girls were wearing sky-high heels all the time, and it was very obvious that some of them already had ankle problems because of it. Just to look a little taller? They're sometimes gorgeous, sometimes very flawed, just like everyone else.
I guess so. I'm too clumsy for any heel above 2 3/4" high. Maybe someday I'll venture up to a 3" but I don't see myself going much higher than that. XD0 -
The problem with envy is that it causes people to end up being mean towards the people that trigger the envy, and then they feel justified in trying to tear that person down. Even though the person did nothing except to have a different genetic configuration, and that person has surely had to struggle with her own challenges in life and body issues. Everyone has body issues (well, most people do), but the healthy way to deal with that is to learn to accept and love ourselves for who we are, and not to compare ourselves to others. I can see the beauty in my body and I can see the beauty in all the other women's bodies. I eat right and exercise so that I can be healthy and improve in my strength and my dancing and to enjoy life. Whatever result that has in my appearance is welcome, but some things I will never be able to change. If people have a problem with my body, that's their problem, not mine. I'm going to set a good example for my daughters. I am modeling that I have a healthy body image, so that as they grow and mature and see their body looking like mine, they will love themselves for who they are and not place the importance on how they look. I did not have a healthy upbringing like that. But, I am an adult. I am a mother. It is my responsibility to be healthy for myself and for my children.
As women, we should be relating to each other as human beings, not as "bodies" pitted against one another.0
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