Body Envy /rant
Replies
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I think you need to put as much work into loving yourself as you have loseing the weight you have.You have beautiful eyes and a very nicely shaped mouth. You need to look in the mirror every day and tell yourself what you love about yourself. Stop looking outward and start looking inward.. You are an amazing person so be the best you, you can be and love yourself
I'm usually able to do this, I just have those days when my TOM arrives and I feel like **** about everything. *sigh*0 -
Of course I do that all the time, but it's something I'm working on. Why don't we compare ourselves to people larger then ourselves?? Then we'd feel much better than ourselves right. Though this isn't right either. We should compare only to ourselves and be our best! It's rewarding if you can run a bit faster on your next run or say no to that dessert that you usually would take two of
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Hotness is abut 80% percent attitude. Maybe more.0
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I am so glad I have managed to escape this trap.
I am nowhere close to "prefect" and yet I totally dig my less than flat tummy and thigh jiggle. Even if I could, I wouldn't change anything about myself. I think it's sad when women don't just love and embrace themselves. Sure society sets women up to have body issues, but if you realize society does that, you can overcome it within yourself and work to bring change. If you don't, then you're just part of the problem, eh?
I know society does that, but I still fall for it anyway. Probably because I'm a perfectionist and tend to punish myself when I don't achieve it. As if anything less than perfection is a failure. I know this is not true but this is the perception in my head that I've struggled with for the past 12 years. My bf thinks I'm beautiful as I am and I have no idea who he's looking at as it can't be the same body I'm seeing.0 -
Yep, I have major body envy!
I always used to want bigger boobs but I've come to accept mine now. One thing I really wish I did have was a big butt. And for some reason everyone looks at me funny for saying that! I think it was always just pushed on me that a bigger bum and a bigger chest was more attractive. Sadly I got the small butt gene from my father! At least it's toned and not saggy I guess?
I did want to have all this crazy plastic surgery like getting fat removed from my stomach and putting it towards a bigger butt and my parents were ready to pay for breast implants for me but finally I've come to realise that I should probably be making my way on the pursuit of happiness, not the pursuit of perfection!0 -
ive already told you what you need to do to accomplish a hot body.. one is attitude and believing in yourself the other is maintaining your weight and toning and shaping!!! it's very much ahievable but you need to stop wishing you was like someone else because your not your you so you need to deal with it and stop been so negative
And what if after all that, I'm still not hot? What if I'm just destined for mediocrity? I'm only 32 pounds away from my goal and I'm not too impressed. Those last 32 pounds are gonna have to have a miracle with them to make me bikini ready. Sorry, I'm having a down day. I swear I'm happier most of the time. >.<
you are hot! it's all in the way you carry yourself, how you walk, talk, attitude is the sexiest of all.. you can have a super hot body but if you dont love yourself your never going to see that and by the sounds of it you dont like yourself or love yourself... you need to be happy with yourself first.. and it is achieveable!!! attitude attitude attitude0 -
ive already told you what you need to do to accomplish a hot body.. one is attitude and believing in yourself the other is maintaining your weight and toning and shaping!!! it's very much ahievable but you need to stop wishing you was like someone else because your not your you so you need to deal with it and stop been so negative
And what if after all that, I'm still not hot? What if I'm just destined for mediocrity? I'm only 32 pounds away from my goal and I'm not too impressed. Those last 32 pounds are gonna have to have a miracle with them to make me bikini ready. Sorry, I'm having a down day. I swear I'm happier most of the time. >.<
Everyone is right about attitude. When you start learning to appreciate YOU, you'll feel sexy and beautiful because of the way YOU look. I know that's hard to grasp. My self-esteem is practically non-existent and I sure as hell don't practice what I preach, but I know that it works, because I've seen so many confident women in the world.
One thing that you have to realize is that the media is full of lies. Look up celebrities without make-up. They have cellulite, wrinkles, and the works just like everyone else. I even saved a picture of a Victoria's Secret model who clearly has cellulite on the back of her legs. And with celebrities (including a lot of K-Pop artists), they're on very restrictive diets. They have to be, because they're in the spotlight. What you see isn't always the truth.
Like I said, it's hard to accept yourself when you feel so different on the outside than how you feel on the inside. I developed a low self-esteem when I was in elementary school - when I was 10! I was much taller than all the other girls, so I felt like a huge and masculine. I thought I was fat and ugly. Turns out, I wasn't fat or ugly at all. Just tall for my age. My point is, the world is full of distortion, so you have to make a huge effort to step back, see everything for what it is, and accept and love who you are. There's only one of you in this world.0 -
i do this ALL the time.. im constantly putting myself down.. im not thin enough, not pretty enough.. etc.
its a horrible trap..
i hope one day to just except who i am and get on with it!0 -
I've been guilty of comparing myself to others (really, who hasn't?) but for me it's been getting better, not worse, as I get into better shape. I do it less and less.
I think part of it is habit...if I catch myself comparing myself with others, I force myself to stop it and replace those thoughts with something else. I'm focusing less on how my body looks and starting to really appreciate what I've been able to do with my new level of fitness.
Having good friends also helps, because we are all very different, and appreciate each other, and we realize that there's no point in comparing ourselves because we all have our strengths and weaknesses, and we're all awesome.
The comparison game in itself is a no-win situation. I try not to put myself there anymore.
Edit: I do *like* how my body looks compared to how it used to look, but it's not the main/only thing to me. Just a nice bonus. :happy:0 -
I'm italian, so i have "curves" in my skeleton. I will never, ever be a skinny girl...but when im at my ideal weight, i have an *kitten* that gets looks. Ok, mainly cause it's still BIG, but hey.
I see girls at the gym whose bodies i would kill to have, and it'll never happen...but you have your own awesome attributes.0 -
Just remember that there are plenty of people that envy YOU.
....or get plastic surgery...that's what 99.9 of K-Pop idols did...0 -
ive already told you what you need to do to accomplish a hot body.. one is attitude and believing in yourself the other is maintaining your weight and toning and shaping!!! it's very much ahievable but you need to stop wishing you was like someone else because your not your you so you need to deal with it and stop been so negative
And what if after all that, I'm still not hot? What if I'm just destined for mediocrity? I'm only 32 pounds away from my goal and I'm not too impressed. Those last 32 pounds are gonna have to have a miracle with them to make me bikini ready. Sorry, I'm having a down day. I swear I'm happier most of the time. >.<
you are hot! it's all in the way you carry yourself, how you walk, talk, attitude is the sexiest of all.. you can have a super hot body but if you dont love yourself your never going to see that and by the sounds of it you dont like yourself or love yourself... you need to be happy with yourself first.. and it is achieveable!!! attitude attitude attitude
How do you know? I only have pics of my face on this site for a reason. I'm a train wreck from the neck down. I don't like myself, when you're studied like a lab rat through your childhood, forced on medication and constantly being told that something is wrong with you, it's kinda hard to like yourself when you're treated like a freak of nature.0 -
Attitude is HUGE. Count your blessings when the body envy demons start talking in your head.
After having my son, I went to see a plastic surgeon about a tummy tuck. (i'm not a big person and I had a HUGE baby, so, he left me with lots of extra skin...) He said 3 things to me that sent me out of there WITHOUT getting a tuck:
1. "wow, you have some GREAT muscles in here!" (when he was looking at my stomach)
2. the price...
3. "I have a soccer mom practice"
I don't want to be part of a cookie cutter soccer mom nipped/tucked population. (ok, some days I think, PLEASE!)
But it boils down to this:
I am healthy,
strong.
And I also know one surgery could very well lead to another and then I'd end up like that lion lady.
(http://www.realself.com/blog/when-have-you-gone-too-far)
Hang in there and be GENTLE with yourself!0 -
Just remember that there are plenty of people that envy YOU.
....or get plastic surgery...that's what 99.9 of K-Pop idols did...
Yeah, envy the girl with Asperger's who is in debt from a Bachelor's degree that she'll never us, working in a warehouse and doesn't have her license yet at age 23. Who the hell would envy me?
Honestly, if I could afford it, I would change everything about my body. That is if my bf would approve of it. Without him, I'm pretty much nothing.0 -
ive already told you what you need to do to accomplish a hot body.. one is attitude and believing in yourself the other is maintaining your weight and toning and shaping!!! it's very much ahievable but you need to stop wishing you was like someone else because your not your you so you need to deal with it and stop been so negative
And what if after all that, I'm still not hot? What if I'm just destined for mediocrity? I'm only 32 pounds away from my goal and I'm not too impressed. Those last 32 pounds are gonna have to have a miracle with them to make me bikini ready. Sorry, I'm having a down day. I swear I'm happier most of the time. >.<
you are hot! it's all in the way you carry yourself, how you walk, talk, attitude is the sexiest of all.. you can have a super hot body but if you dont love yourself your never going to see that and by the sounds of it you dont like yourself or love yourself... you need to be happy with yourself first.. and it is achieveable!!! attitude attitude attitude
How do you know? I only have pics of my face on this site for a reason. I'm a train wreck from the neck down. I don't like myself, when you're studied like a lab rat through your childhood, forced on medication and constantly being told that something is wrong with you, it's kinda hard to like yourself when you're treated like a freak of nature.
How do you know I'm not !! I've got a pretty face but my body isn't nice either but that don't stop me from learning to like myself and bettering myself ... Push through the past because thats what it is past n move forward to the future But you need to like yourself first if your going to see what I see in you and the potential0 -
Taking pictures but not being so critical of ourselves helps. I was a body builder and still did not give up looking around and wanting a better look for my body...I know now how distorted that was. I look back at pics now and think...I looked great why didn't I know it (or feel it) Its been a personal issue that I have strived to overcome. Hope you do to. Great work, you look beautiful!0
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I am so glad I have managed to escape this trap.
I am nowhere close to "prefect" and yet I totally dig my less than flat tummy and thigh jiggle. Even if I could, I wouldn't change anything about myself. I think it's sad when women don't just love and embrace themselves. Sure society sets women up to have body issues, but if you realize society does that, you can overcome it within yourself and work to bring change. If you don't, then you're just part of the problem, eh?
I know society does that, but I still fall for it anyway. Probably because I'm a perfectionist and tend to punish myself when I don't achieve it. As if anything less than perfection is a failure. I know this is not true but this is the perception in my head that I've struggled with for the past 12 years. My bf thinks I'm beautiful as I am and I have no idea who he's looking at as it can't be the same body I'm seeing.
Don't you see? Because you fall for it -- it can exist in the first place. It's one thing to have a bad day, it' another to actively live your life this way. Nobody is perfect. Everyone you are envying? There is definitely something about them that totally sucks.0 -
You may want to try practicing NOT comparing yourself to others.
Sorry to say, but there will ALWAYS be someone hotter than you.
... not to mention someone who is NOT hotter than you!! Focus on your best traits..WE ALL have some body part we love0 -
I am definitely with you in that. It's not just body-envy, but...almost hate sometimes. I sometimes just look at people with MUCH better bodies than me and almost hate them because it's like they have it easy. I know people that try to GAIN weight and complain that they're so skinny and I just...want to wring their necks. I hate being the way that I am and I hate being so...big....
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I totally sympathize. I need to work on this too.
.
..
.
Good luck. Let me know how things are going
-Mika-0 -
ive already told you what you need to do to accomplish a hot body.. one is attitude and believing in yourself the other is maintaining your weight and toning and shaping!!! it's very much ahievable but you need to stop wishing you was like someone else because your not your you so you need to deal with it and stop been so negative
And what if after all that, I'm still not hot? What if I'm just destined for mediocrity? I'm only 32 pounds away from my goal and I'm not too impressed. Those last 32 pounds are gonna have to have a miracle with them to make me bikini ready. Sorry, I'm having a down day. I swear I'm happier most of the time. >.<
you are hot! it's all in the way you carry yourself, how you walk, talk, attitude is the sexiest of all.. you can have a super hot body but if you dont love yourself your never going to see that and by the sounds of it you dont like yourself or love yourself... you need to be happy with yourself first.. and it is achieveable!!! attitude attitude attitude
How do you know? I only have pics of my face on this site for a reason. I'm a train wreck from the neck down. I don't like myself, when you're studied like a lab rat through your childhood, forced on medication and constantly being told that something is wrong with you, it's kinda hard to like yourself when you're treated like a freak of nature.
How do you know I'm not !! I've got a pretty face but my body isn't nice either but that don't stop me from learning to like myself and bettering myself ... Push through the past because thats what it is past n move forward to the future But you need to like yourself first if your going to see what I see in you and the potential
Okay. Thanks. 0 -
Taking pictures but not being so critical of ourselves helps. I was a body builder and still did not give up looking around and wanting a better look for my body...I know now how distorted that was. I look back at pics now and think...I looked great why didn't I know it (or feel it) Its been a personal issue that I have strived to overcome. Hope you do to. Great work, you look beautiful!
And yes, you look amazing... 0 -
I know will never have the body of a beautiful woman, so why should I envy them? Quite to the contrary, I admire them and have pictures of gorgeous women in my background pix / screensaver on the computer. And I'm not even lesbian!
Don't envy them, just accept yourself as you are. You can't change reality, you know, and the reality for you is (according to your own words) that you won't look like a supermodel either. So why waste time bothering about it? The only thing you can do is make the best out of what you got.0 -
I know will never have the body of a beautiful woman, so why should I envy them? Quite to the contrary, I admire them and have pictures of gorgeous women in my background pix / screensaver on the computer. And I'm not even lesbian!
Don't envy them, just accept yourself as you are. You can't change reality, you know, and the reality for you is (according to your own words) that you won't look like a supermodel either. So why waste time bothering about it? The only thing you can do is make the best out of what you got.
Totally true. How you could actually put this thinking into practice and genuinely believe it, however, is a mystery....soooo difficult.0 -
I know will never have the body of a beautiful woman, so why should I envy them? Quite to the contrary, I admire them and have pictures of gorgeous women in my background pix / screensaver on the computer. And I'm not even lesbian!
Don't envy them, just accept yourself as you are. You can't change reality, you know, and the reality for you is (according to your own words) that you won't look like a supermodel either. So why waste time bothering about it? The only thing you can do is make the best out of what you got.
Totally true. How you could actually put this thinking into practice and genuinely believe it, however, is a mystery....soooo difficult.
Indeed. I can never pull it off genuinely, or at least not for an extended period of time. I go well for a couple weeks and then hormones freak out and I'm balled up in my room crying again. >.<0 -
I know will never have the body of a beautiful woman, so why should I envy them? Quite to the contrary, I admire them and have pictures of gorgeous women in my background pix / screensaver on the computer. And I'm not even lesbian!
Don't envy them, just accept yourself as you are. You can't change reality, you know, and the reality for you is (according to your own words) that you won't look like a supermodel either. So why waste time bothering about it? The only thing you can do is make the best out of what you got.
Totally true. How you could actually put this thinking into practice and genuinely believe it, however, is a mystery....soooo difficult.
Indeed. I can never pull it off genuinely, or at least not for an extended period of time. I go well for a couple weeks and then hormones freak out and I'm balled up in my room crying again. >.<
Totally. I know exactly how you feel. I admire how well you're doing, though. I just looked at your profile. 50 POUNDS?! Amazing!0 -
Comparison is the thief of joy.0
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I do it ALL. THE. TIME. I've lost almost all the weight I wanna lose, mayb another 5-10lbs & I'll b ok weight wise, but my BF is awful *cries* Which is why even kno I've hit my 1st gw of 125 (well I was 125.8 but close enough), I still feel really fat. And my skin elasticity isnt the best apparently either (& I've only lost 59lbs!) I'm afraid that when I finally lose my gut, I'll have awful loose, hanging skin. So when I see amazing lookin ppl, I feel really envious of them because I kno no matter how hard I try, I'll never b able to look like them cuz of my skin.
Ur not alone & I get told not to compare. I just try not to really look at pictures of people unless they're my friends or 1 of the few ppl who actually inspire (instead of makin me feel depressed) with their pics.0 -
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Love this. Totally true. Tell me more...0 -
I know will never have the body of a beautiful woman, so why should I envy them? Quite to the contrary, I admire them and have pictures of gorgeous women in my background pix / screensaver on the computer. And I'm not even lesbian!
Don't envy them, just accept yourself as you are. You can't change reality, you know, and the reality for you is (according to your own words) that you won't look like a supermodel either. So why waste time bothering about it? The only thing you can do is make the best out of what you got.
Totally true. How you could actually put this thinking into practice and genuinely believe it, however, is a mystery....soooo difficult.
Indeed. I can never pull it off genuinely, or at least not for an extended period of time. I go well for a couple weeks and then hormones freak out and I'm balled up in my room crying again. >.<
Totally. I know exactly how you feel. I admire how well you're doing, though. I just looked at your profile. 50 POUNDS?! Amazing!
Well, it was 50 when I started here in March, now it's more like 75-78? I started back in May 2010 so this is taking waaaaaaay too long. I should be maintaining by now. I'm not sure. I think I screwed up the math at some point. I think my starting point was 260. Sooo it was 60 in March. I should fix that.
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Probably not but you may be able to Germanically crush one against your forehead if you get too overwhelmed with envy
To be honest I think it's normal to have some level of "envy", let's remove the term with the negative connotations and say it's normal and healthy to be driven toward achievement, we only depart from the healthy part when our own self worth and happiness is contingent on achieving a goal that is forever a few more feet away.0
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