Body Envy /rant

Juliejustsaying

The only way I coped was to work and work and work and work and work and work until I thought MY body was the best it could possibly be. Now, if I see someone else with a really long, flat stomach or a fantastic bedonk, I don't feel as bad, because I've come to accept my body shape.

This! Really all we can be is the best version of ourselves. I really think you are too hard on yourself. Even your bf says so, and if you've read some of the other threads about what men like in women...naked and willing is the most common answer.

That being said, I must tell you that lifting has done more to change my body that dieting and cardio ever could. I'm 5'1" and have always beein a little chubby. Even when I weighed 106lbs I still wore size 6 jeans. All in the hips and thighs, baby. I started weight training in late April. Since then I've lost 3.5 in from my waist, 3 in from my hips and an inch from my thighs. I'm wearing size 2 jeans and I still have another 15lbs to lose to get to 110lbs. I'm leaner than I ever imagined I could be. So don't give up on yourself yet. Change things up, and start concentrating on YOU and not the rich and famous. They have stylists and plastic surgeons on speed dial.

Aspire to be yourself, get the tude. Sending out the confident, I like myself vibe will make you more attractive than being a size 0 ever could. Am I right guys?

MikkLuhnRozzWhuh

I do it too <sigh> I guess it's a woman thing!

i've had a fallopian tubes all my life and have never done this... honestly i think it's more of a cultural thing. generally speaking western white women are raised to dislike their bodies

Pretty much, yeah. No matter what we do, we're never good enough. *sigh*

Agreed. I hate how pretty "skinny" women are always in the media. It's just a shame. I remember watching a movie once where a size 6 was forbidden or something and this fashion place had nothing in or above that size. I'm a size 20! And I wear X-Large tees...(sometimes 2X)....and a SIX isn't allowed? Whatever, right?
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It's stupid.

mfpcopine

I believe lots of people feel this way! You always want what you don't have. Even me I'm pretty fit and work really hard at it.

And no matter how fit you are, one day you will get old. You will have to find other reasons to work out. That doesn't mean you will immediately stop noticing other, younger people who look great and comparing yourself for a few seconds.

Of course you could bump off everyone you see as competition. That's the story of "Snow White."

MikkLuhnRozzWhuh

I'm surprised that in 5 pages of comments, no one mentioned that maybe the OP should possibly seek someone to talk to besides people on a message board for some of the comments posted. I didn't use the quote system as I have the thread open in another tab:

"How do you know? I only have pics of my face on this site for a reason. I'm a train wreck from the neck down. I don't like myself, when you're studied like a lab rat through your childhood, forced on medication and constantly being told that something is wrong with you, it's kinda hard to like yourself when you're treated like a freak of nature. "

"Yeah, envy the girl with Asperger's who is in debt from a Bachelor's degree that she'll never us, working in a warehouse and doesn't have her license yet at age 23. Who the hell would envy me?

Honestly, if I could afford it, I would change everything about my body. That is if my bf would approve of it. Without him, I'm pretty much nothing. "

MBelt, have you considered maybe talking to someone professionally about your feelings about yourself and your constant comparisons to others? That you feel like you're pretty much nothing without your bf? That you have a medical condition that makes you feel like you are worse than other people? I think you've spent years getting yourself to this point- why would you expect just weightloss to get you out of it? This goes a lot further than pounds on, pounds off. This is going to take some commitment to work on the inside as well as out if you want to feel beautiful and appreciate yourself. I'd talk to your GP and see what they have to say.

Sorry to be preachy, the comments just really hit me, and I know from personal experience that losing a bunch of weight isn't the magic cure-all to low self-esteem.

Good luck

Well I'm sorry, I am very wary of "professionals." They just want me to get on pills and never get better so I keep coming back and giving them my money. Either that or they ask me "Why haven't you killed yourself? Have you thought about it this week? How did you plan on doing it?" Psychologists are sadistic *kitten* that thrive off the pain of others. I've been "studied" by then since before I could talk, I want nothing to do with them now. This is something I have to do for myself. I'll feel better once I hit my goals, not just in weight loss either. Professional and personal goals.

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I read this woman's comment and got a little aggravated. You don't need special help...do we all need special help too if we're the same way as you. Not EVERYTHING is some professional's responsibility. You are strong and you can do this and you don't need a professional to make you feel like scum for a while so you can feel better and stop envying everybody else...

I still agreed with what the one guy said about how envy can be a good thing...a healthy thing. It can lead you to know there are better things for you and go for them. It's only bad (and yes, it's bad in our cases) when we're looking and almost hating these people for having the bodies they do and wondering if we'll ever be good enough like they are.
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I believe it's something work on and not something just go get medication and counseling for. I totally beg to differ from your comment and found it extremely offensive, @vanilla.
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mbelt, I wish you the best of luck and really hope we get to chat sometime....we can work through this without some drugs or counseling. I'm sorry, I'm already seeing a psychiatrist for an actual chemical imbalance and I don't need to see one for anything else. I'm already seeing a psychologist about bipolar disorder and don't believe that my weight loss and "body envy" is the responsibility of anyone like that.
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It's our bodies and we have the power....if we need to figure out how to feel better, it's not necessary something some "professional "can fix. Sometimes, people have to do it the hard way and mbelt....we WILL!

Assigning a psychologist to every woman who dislikes her body is ridiculous. Pretty much 90% of women would be receiving psychological care when they probably don't even need it.

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That's also totally underestimating our ability to take care of ourselves. It's just stupid that they think we all need professional help for feeling bad about our bodies sometimes. Dude, when I burn my finger and feel sad, should I see a specialist because I'm not happy?

daffodilsoup

I lived for a year in China, and was a head taller and about double the size of nearly every woman there. When I went shopping and asked for my particular size, people would stare at me like I was a damn giantess, but I couldn't compare myself to those women because, really, what would be the point? Different body types are just that - different, and you have to learn to love you for you. There will always be someone who looks smaller, younger, has clearer skin than you, whatever - but you have to figure out what will make you feel happy.

I notice that a lot of the threads you begin here are rants or similar - it might benefit you to try and be more positive and realistic, there are tons of sites and self-help books if you aren't interested in seeking professional help. It might extend to how you feel and react to your own body, too

mfpcopine

I'm surprised that in 5 pages of comments, no one mentioned that maybe the OP should possibly seek someone to talk to besides people on a message board for some of the comments posted. I didn't use the quote system as I have the thread open in another tab:

"How do you know? I only have pics of my face on this site for a reason. I'm a train wreck from the neck down. I don't like myself, when you're studied like a lab rat through your childhood, forced on medication and constantly being told that something is wrong with you, it's kinda hard to like yourself when you're treated like a freak of nature. "

"Yeah, envy the girl with Asperger's who is in debt from a Bachelor's degree that she'll never us, working in a warehouse and doesn't have her license yet at age 23. Who the hell would envy me?

Honestly, if I could afford it, I would change everything about my body. That is if my bf would approve of it. Without him, I'm pretty much nothing. "

MBelt, have you considered maybe talking to someone professionally about your feelings about yourself and your constant comparisons to others? That you feel like you're pretty much nothing without your bf? That you have a medical condition that makes you feel like you are worse than other people? I think you've spent years getting yourself to this point- why would you expect just weightloss to get you out of it? This goes a lot further than pounds on, pounds off. This is going to take some commitment to work on the inside as well as out if you want to feel beautiful and appreciate yourself. I'd talk to your GP and see what they have to say.

Sorry to be preachy, the comments just really hit me, and I know from personal experience that losing a bunch of weight isn't the magic cure-all to low self-esteem.

Good luck

Well I'm sorry, I am very wary of "professionals." They just want me to get on pills and never get better so I keep coming back and giving them my money. Either that or they ask me "Why haven't you killed yourself? Have you thought about it this week? How did you plan on doing it?" Psychologists are sadistic *kitten* that thrive off the pain of others. I've been "studied" by then since before I could talk, I want nothing to do with them now. This is something I have to do for myself. I'll feel better once I hit my goals, not just in weight loss either. Professional and personal goals.

,

I read this woman's comment and got a little aggravated. You don't need special help...do we all need special help too if we're the same way as you. Not EVERYTHING is some professional's responsibility. You are strong and you can do this and you don't need a professional to make you feel like scum for a while so you can feel better and stop envying everybody else...

I still agreed with what the one guy said about how envy can be a good thing...a healthy thing. It can lead you to know there are better things for you and go for them. It's only bad (and yes, it's bad in our cases) when we're looking and almost hating these people for having the bodies they do and wondering if we'll ever be good enough like they are.
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I believe it's something work on and not something just go get medication and counseling for. I totally beg to differ from your comment and found it extremely offensive, @vanilla.
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mbelt, I wish you the best of luck and really hope we get to chat sometime....we can work through this without some drugs or counseling. I'm sorry, I'm already seeing a psychiatrist for an actual chemical imbalance and I don't need to see one for anything else. I'm already seeing a psychologist about bipolar disorder and don't believe that my weight loss and "body envy" is the responsibility of anyone like that.
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It's our bodies and we have the power....if we need to figure out how to feel better, it's not necessary something some "professional "can fix. Sometimes, people have to do it the hard way and mbelt....we WILL!

Assigning a psychologist to every woman who dislikes her body is ridiculous. Pretty much 90% of women would be receiving psychological care when they probably don't even need it.

It's especially ridiculous because it's culturally induced. Not that we women shouldn't push back, but it's difficult to completely cast off cultural norms in a culture in which you still lack power. A lot of women don't think about it, or don't care, which is even sadder.

Erisad

I lived for a year in China, and was a head taller and about double the size of nearly every woman there. When I went shopping and asked for my particular size, people would stare at me like I was a damn giantess, but I couldn't compare myself to those women because, really, what would be the point? Different body types are just that - different, and you have to learn to love you for you. There will always be someone who looks smaller, younger, has clearer skin than you, whatever - but you have to figure out what will make you feel happy.

I notice that a lot of the threads you begin here are rants or similar - it might benefit you to try and be more positive and realistic, there are tons of sites and self-help books if you aren't interested in seeking professional help. It might extend to how you feel and react to your own body, too

Well I rant about them here because I really don't have anyone to talk about it to. I have a self help book I just haven't looked at it a lot lately. I probably should. I swear I do start positive threads too, they just don't seem to garner as much attention. It's like people see a rant and they wanna read it more than my posts about low calorie desserts and how I'm lifting more at the gym, etc.

MikkLuhnRozzWhuh

I lived for a year in China, and was a head taller and about double the size of nearly every woman there. When I went shopping and asked for my particular size, people would stare at me like I was a damn giantess, but I couldn't compare myself to those women because, really, what would be the point? Different body types are just that - different, and you have to learn to love you for you. There will always be someone who looks smaller, younger, has clearer skin than you, whatever - but you have to figure out what will make you feel happy.

I notice that a lot of the threads you begin here are rants or similar - it might benefit you to try and be more positive and realistic, there are tons of sites and self-help books if you aren't interested in seeking professional help. It might extend to how you feel and react to your own body, too

OR...maybe a lot of people can relate and talk through it with her? Call me crazy, but I pretty much read this comment as you telling her to shut up and go somewhere else. I'm happy to have found this forum because I can feel the same way....and I want to work with her to love my body for what it is. She can't just tell herself to love herself and have it happen....sometimes you just envy others and can't turn it off.
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She SHOULD love herself because she's beautiful, but I understand completely...what it's like when it feels impossible to find anything good to say about your body.
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And she should be able to use this forum how she pleases because there are other people who felt the same way even before they popped into this topic and were happy to have found it. I'm sorry you're positive, but sometimes, other people are not and need others to find out how to be.
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This didn't help me be positive at all. Being that I feel the same way as she does and that you just told her to get self help books or seek help from random sites.....yeah, didn't make me feel good that I apparently should do the same. Again, real opinions count. Real opinions and experiences help. Not just some stupid site or book written about someone's success story that we haven't seen in our lives yet.
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Mbelt, as long as you understand what I'm saying, that's all that matters really. I can't just turn on the happy switch and love my body...sometimes I need others around me to fight with me through it....so that we can help each other. Not just going to a site or getting a book and finding that it doesn't do me any good.

MikkLuhnRozzWhuh

Well I rant about them here because I really don't have anyone to talk about it to. I have a self help book I just haven't looked at it a lot lately. I probably should. I swear I do start positive threads too, they just don't seem to garner as much attention. It's like people see a rant and they wanna read it more than my posts about low calorie desserts and how I'm lifting more at the gym, etc.

Definitely. Because people can relate to it and need to know they're not the only one. You've helped so many people not feel so alone. Seriously. Don't feel bad about starting this.

ShellyShuey

Me! I want a 6-pack. Not happening

MikkLuhnRozzWhuh

Well I rant about them here because I really don't have anyone to talk about it to. I have a self help book I just haven't looked at it a lot lately. I probably should. I swear I do start positive threads too, they just don't seem to garner as much attention. It's like people see a rant and they wanna read it more than my posts about low calorie desserts and how I'm lifting more at the gym, etc.

Definitely. Because people can relate to it and need to know they're not the only one. You've helped so many people not feel so alone. Seriously. Don't feel bad about starting this.

By the way, you can totally talk to me.... I'd love to talk to you about anything and everything. I'm here to get something done with my body and make a change and I know you are too. It always helps to have somebody else on your side....somebody who gets you and can relate...even if not COMPLETELY. (Because I don't think anybody can fully and completely relate in every way to another person, yano?)

MikkLuhnRozzWhuh

Me! I want a 6-pack. Not happening

Nice picture, tho. I like it. Just keep working at it...

Erisad

Well I rant about them here because I really don't have anyone to talk about it to. I have a self help book I just haven't looked at it a lot lately. I probably should. I swear I do start positive threads too, they just don't seem to garner as much attention. It's like people see a rant and they wanna read it more than my posts about low calorie desserts and how I'm lifting more at the gym, etc.

Definitely. Because people can relate to it and need to know they're not the only one. You've helped so many people not feel so alone. Seriously. Don't feel bad about starting this.

I swear every time I start a rant thread, there's always someone trying to make me feel bad for having expressed my opinion in the first place. And yet they were the ones who clicked on my thread, if you want positive stuff, read another thread. I put /rant in there just so you'll know that it's not a super-happy-go-lucky-funtime thread. You can't please everyone apparently.

MikkLuhnRozzWhuh

Well I rant about them here because I really don't have anyone to talk about it to. I have a self help book I just haven't looked at it a lot lately. I probably should. I swear I do start positive threads too, they just don't seem to garner as much attention. It's like people see a rant and they wanna read it more than my posts about low calorie desserts and how I'm lifting more at the gym, etc.

Definitely. Because people can relate to it and need to know they're not the only one. You've helped so many people not feel so alone. Seriously. Don't feel bad about starting this.

I swear every time I start a rant thread, there's always someone trying to make me feel bad for having expressed my opinion in the first place. And yet they were the ones who clicked on my thread, if you want positive stuff, read another thread. I put /rant in there just so you'll know that it's not a super-happy-go-lucky-funtime thread. You can't please everyone apparently.

And you know what...you don't need to! This is about you and your health....and if people don't know how to support you or allow you your freedom to share your opinion, it's not worth it worrying about making them happy. She's already happy anyway, right? Don't let it bug you.
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I support you so much, you have no idea. I love that you put your opinions in here and so do many others right now, I'm sure. A lot of people have related with you on here and have just found that it helps to be able to relate to someone, yano?

daffodilsoup

I lived for a year in China, and was a head taller and about double the size of nearly every woman there. When I went shopping and asked for my particular size, people would stare at me like I was a damn giantess, but I couldn't compare myself to those women because, really, what would be the point? Different body types are just that - different, and you have to learn to love you for you. There will always be someone who looks smaller, younger, has clearer skin than you, whatever - but you have to figure out what will make you feel happy.

I notice that a lot of the threads you begin here are rants or similar - it might benefit you to try and be more positive and realistic, there are tons of sites and self-help books if you aren't interested in seeking professional help. It might extend to how you feel and react to your own body, too

OR...maybe a lot of people can relate and talk through it with her? Call me crazy, but I pretty much read this comment as you telling her to shut up and go somewhere else. I'm happy to have found this forum because I can feel the same way....and I want to work with her to love my body for what it is. She can't just tell herself to love herself and have it happen....sometimes you just envy others and can't turn it off.
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She SHOULD love herself because she's beautiful, but I understand completely...what it's like when it feels impossible to find anything good to say about your body.
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And she should be able to use this forum how she pleases because there are other people who felt the same way even before they popped into this topic and were happy to have found it. I'm sorry you're positive, but sometimes, other people are not and need others to find out how to be.
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This didn't help me be positive at all. Being that I feel the same way as she does and that you just told her to get self help books or seek help from random sites.....yeah, didn't make me feel good that I apparently should do the same. Again, real opinions count. Real opinions and experiences help. Not just some stupid site or book written about someone's success story that we haven't seen in our lives yet.
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Mbelt, as long as you understand what I'm saying, that's all that matters really. I can't just turn on the happy switch and love my body...sometimes I need others around me to fight with me through it....so that we can help each other. Not just going to a site or getting a book and finding that it doesn't do me any good.

I absolutely didn't suggest that OP go somewhere else, and she is free to use the forum however she likes. I made an observation that most of her posts are negative, and I know that for me, a negative attitude breeds more negativity. I think that finding ways to let positivity and self-love into one's life is more helpful than a bunch of women in an internet forum complaining about how those skinny models and women in media are hard to relate to, but that's just me.

But hey, do whichever works better for you. Since you're clearly itching to be offended over something, I'm glad I could help. By all means, carry on commiserating.

Erisad

Well I rant about them here because I really don't have anyone to talk about it to. I have a self help book I just haven't looked at it a lot lately. I probably should. I swear I do start positive threads too, they just don't seem to garner as much attention. It's like people see a rant and they wanna read it more than my posts about low calorie desserts and how I'm lifting more at the gym, etc.

Definitely. Because people can relate to it and need to know they're not the only one. You've helped so many people not feel so alone. Seriously. Don't feel bad about starting this.

I swear every time I start a rant thread, there's always someone trying to make me feel bad for having expressed my opinion in the first place. And yet they were the ones who clicked on my thread, if you want positive stuff, read another thread. I put /rant in there just so you'll know that it's not a super-happy-go-lucky-funtime thread. You can't please everyone apparently.

And you know what...you don't need to! This is about you and your health....and if people don't know how to support you or allow you your freedom to share your opinion, it's not worth it worrying about making them happy. She's already happy anyway, right? Don't let it bug you.
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I support you so much, you have no idea. I love that you put your opinions in here and so do many others right now, I'm sure. A lot of people have related with you on here and have just found that it helps to be able to relate to someone, yano?

Yaaaay support! *pom poms*

MikkLuhnRozzWhuh

I lived for a year in China, and was a head taller and about double the size of nearly every woman there. When I went shopping and asked for my particular size, people would stare at me like I was a damn giantess, but I couldn't compare myself to those women because, really, what would be the point? Different body types are just that - different, and you have to learn to love you for you. There will always be someone who looks smaller, younger, has clearer skin than you, whatever - but you have to figure out what will make you feel happy.

I notice that a lot of the threads you begin here are rants or similar - it might benefit you to try and be more positive and realistic, there are tons of sites and self-help books if you aren't interested in seeking professional help. It might extend to how you feel and react to your own body, too

OR...maybe a lot of people can relate and talk through it with her? Call me crazy, but I pretty much read this comment as you telling her to shut up and go somewhere else. I'm happy to have found this forum because I can feel the same way....and I want to work with her to love my body for what it is. She can't just tell herself to love herself and have it happen....sometimes you just envy others and can't turn it off.
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She SHOULD love herself because she's beautiful, but I understand completely...what it's like when it feels impossible to find anything good to say about your body.
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And she should be able to use this forum how she pleases because there are other people who felt the same way even before they popped into this topic and were happy to have found it. I'm sorry you're positive, but sometimes, other people are not and need others to find out how to be.
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This didn't help me be positive at all. Being that I feel the same way as she does and that you just told her to get self help books or seek help from random sites.....yeah, didn't make me feel good that I apparently should do the same. Again, real opinions count. Real opinions and experiences help. Not just some stupid site or book written about someone's success story that we haven't seen in our lives yet.
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Mbelt, as long as you understand what I'm saying, that's all that matters really. I can't just turn on the happy switch and love my body...sometimes I need others around me to fight with me through it....so that we can help each other. Not just going to a site or getting a book and finding that it doesn't do me any good.

I absolutely didn't suggest that OP go somewhere else, and she is free to use the forum however she likes. I made an observation that most of her posts are negative, and I know that for me, a negative attitude breeds more negativity. I think that finding ways to let positivity and self-love into one's life is more helpful than a bunch of women in an internet forum complaining about how those skinny models and women in media are hard to relate to, but that's just me.

But hey, do whichever works better for you. Since you're clearly itching to be offended over something, I'm glad I could help. By all means, carry on commiserating.

Be more rude? All I said is that she just wanted to state her opinion and you're giving her other options as if she needs to shut up and go somewhere else. I wasn't itching to be offended...I just was offended. Big difference. I didn't start today in a bad mood. I didn't begin my day negatively....it's just when people aren't at all supportive and feel like the solution to everything is easy and like we shouldn't be trying to actually work through the issue...it tends to annoy me. I don't believe in hiding issues...I believe in talking them out. We were doing just fine doing that before you came and told us to be quiet.

MikkLuhnRozzWhuh

Well I rant about them here because I really don't have anyone to talk about it to. I have a self help book I just haven't looked at it a lot lately. I probably should. I swear I do start positive threads too, they just don't seem to garner as much attention. It's like people see a rant and they wanna read it more than my posts about low calorie desserts and how I'm lifting more at the gym, etc.

Definitely. Because people can relate to it and need to know they're not the only one. You've helped so many people not feel so alone. Seriously. Don't feel bad about starting this.

I swear every time I start a rant thread, there's always someone trying to make me feel bad for having expressed my opinion in the first place. And yet they were the ones who clicked on my thread, if you want positive stuff, read another thread. I put /rant in there just so you'll know that it's not a super-happy-go-lucky-funtime thread. You can't please everyone apparently.

And you can see here, miss fix-it.....that she puts rant on the title of her posts for a reason. If you know it's a rant and don't want to hear it...don't go in. Sorry.
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Rants do help some of us. It has actually helped me.....maybe it doesn't work for you, but it works for some of us.

MikkLuhnRozzWhuh

Yaaaay support! *pom poms*

As long as I'm around, there is always support

daffodilsoup

I lived for a year in China, and was a head taller and about double the size of nearly every woman there. When I went shopping and asked for my particular size, people would stare at me like I was a damn giantess, but I couldn't compare myself to those women because, really, what would be the point? Different body types are just that - different, and you have to learn to love you for you. There will always be someone who looks smaller, younger, has clearer skin than you, whatever - but you have to figure out what will make you feel happy.

I notice that a lot of the threads you begin here are rants or similar - it might benefit you to try and be more positive and realistic, there are tons of sites and self-help books if you aren't interested in seeking professional help. It might extend to how you feel and react to your own body, too

OR...maybe a lot of people can relate and talk through it with her? Call me crazy, but I pretty much read this comment as you telling her to shut up and go somewhere else. I'm happy to have found this forum because I can feel the same way....and I want to work with her to love my body for what it is. She can't just tell herself to love herself and have it happen....sometimes you just envy others and can't turn it off.
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She SHOULD love herself because she's beautiful, but I understand completely...what it's like when it feels impossible to find anything good to say about your body.
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And she should be able to use this forum how she pleases because there are other people who felt the same way even before they popped into this topic and were happy to have found it. I'm sorry you're positive, but sometimes, other people are not and need others to find out how to be.
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This didn't help me be positive at all. Being that I feel the same way as she does and that you just told her to get self help books or seek help from random sites.....yeah, didn't make me feel good that I apparently should do the same. Again, real opinions count. Real opinions and experiences help. Not just some stupid site or book written about someone's success story that we haven't seen in our lives yet.
.
Mbelt, as long as you understand what I'm saying, that's all that matters really. I can't just turn on the happy switch and love my body...sometimes I need others around me to fight with me through it....so that we can help each other. Not just going to a site or getting a book and finding that it doesn't do me any good.

I absolutely didn't suggest that OP go somewhere else, and she is free to use the forum however she likes. I made an observation that most of her posts are negative, and I know that for me, a negative attitude breeds more negativity. I think that finding ways to let positivity and self-love into one's life is more helpful than a bunch of women in an internet forum complaining about how those skinny models and women in media are hard to relate to, but that's just me.

But hey, do whichever works better for you. Since you're clearly itching to be offended over something, I'm glad I could help. By all means, carry on commiserating.

Be more rude? All I said is that she just wanted to state her opinion and you're giving her other options as if she needs to shut up and go somewhere else. I wasn't itching to be offended...I just was offended. Big difference. I didn't start today in a bad mood. I didn't begin my day negatively....it's just when people aren't at all supportive and feel like the solution to everything is easy and like we shouldn't be trying to actually work through the issue...it tends to annoy me. I don't believe in hiding issues...I believe in talking them out. We were doing just fine doing that before you came and told us to be quiet.

I actually don't recall telling anyone to "be quiet" - could you please quote where I did?

Unfortunately, when you post in a public forum like this one, it opens it up to all kinds of opinions and suggestions, and not just the ones someone might want to hear. Just because it isn't the response someone might have wanted doesn't mean it isn't supportive. Sure, there's a place for ranting and "hear me out" type posts, but in the long run, it's beneficial to work on your own attitude toward yourself.