Do you let your kids go hungry or force them to eat it?
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My son was diagnosed with allergies to almost every food out there as a baby so needless to say, his limited choices made him super picky. Now that he is able to tolerate a larger variety of foods, we are trying to get him to try things but its a battle. I'm not going to force it on him because honestly, he will try it on his own accord. Will i let him pig out on unhealthy foods later on..no, because I don't keep those foods in my house. If he is super hungry before bed he can have some plain cheerios, a piece of fruit, or yogurt. Pick your battles.0
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I haven't read all of the replies, but here is what I do with my kids. I make them eat a little. If they absolutely detest something, they only have to eat like 3 or 4 bites of it. I try to make a mixure of things I know they like with the things they don't, so less argueing. And they know they only have to eat a little, so they usually get it out of the way first. Generally your tastes change a lot as you grow, so exposing them to things they think they don't like will turn into "It's okay" and may even go all the way to them asking for it some day. Example, my sons really hate mashed potatoes. But the older one will eat them sometimes without all of the whining and negotiating, even though he maintains that he still hates them. My daughter was actually sick the first time she ate mashed potatoes (she didn't like the texture or something), but now she loves them.0
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Here's how it works in my house. What I cook for dinner is what you eat. If you don't like it you don't eat. But I do require that you eat at least one bite of everything on your plate. That goes for every kid and every adult, guests included. I have a picky eater so I know how that works. If it's just the taste/texture change, keep offering. Eventually they'll eat it. My mom used to get mad at me and would tell me that I needed to fix something else, anything else, including junk food. She was very wrong. I've talked to our pediatrician and dieticians about the eating and they tell me that I am right.
The portions are not big. They are the right size. Kid size plates, kid size portions. The only thing they can get a large serving of is water. And there again, kid size glass, kid size portion. We drink a ton of water in my house. Rarely ever drink soda or eat anything that unhealthy.
how do you make your guests to try at least a bite of everything? If I come to your house for dinner and you serve something I don't like, I just eat what I do like, I don't eat a bite of something I don't like.0 -
Forcing kids to eat, healthy foods or not, just opens up a whole other host of issues that you don't want to deal with down the line. Offer one serving of everything you want them to eat, and then ignore anything that isn't pleasant dinner conversation. And remember that nobody wants to change everything all at once - I always serve one of my kids' favorite foods if I'm going to be serving new icky stuff that night. And I try to be an example - I absolutely cannot stand the texture of spaghetti squash, and my kids know this, but I buy and cook it a couple of times a year to see if I've changed my mind. (No, but it entertains them to watch me make faces while I eat it, so I guess that's worth it if nothing else.)0
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When I babysit kids, I give them small portions to start with, then offer seconds. Then there's not a lot of leftover food (which tends to get played with and end up in hair, on clothes, ect.)0
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If there is no junk food in the house then the kids can not do a midnight cupboard raid.
Do realize that the over weight issue is the parents not the child but it is the parent's responsibility to teach life long eating habits that are healthy to a child.
I have a house mix of picky eaters, allergy eaters and cultural eaters. ( my husband is Asian I am white)
What works for me??
I love brown rice, no one else will eat it so I make a few days of brown rice up at a time and just make them their white rice for dinner.
Spices..I find these go better on the side..so I tend to go light on seasonings and then allow cut up veggies/dips etc to be added.
Veggies..this is where the allergies and picky eating come in the scene..so I usually do up a few veggies ( again sauce on the side if any) and most are raw..rule is pick 2 veggies.. ( I always have cut up celery, carrots, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes)
Meat..( unless it is fish/seafood -allergies) too bad you eat what I make or go hungry.
Get the kids involved- let them make healthy choices. My husband loves to add peppers/mushrooms to everything I can not stand them. I love to add tomato and celery to everything my husband does not like it.
My weight issue is from thyroid treatment, other than that my issue has always been the opposite, the need to gain weight.
I grew up with the no choice, eat what is on your plate and yes I ate at times enough to make my self sick..not on purpose but because my stomach could not handle all the food that was served..I was never taught how to eat healthy, I was taught to sit down shut up and eat what ever was served to you.
Out of 5 kids- now adults- 4 of us have IBS....2 are obese as they ran to the food we were never allowed and ate what they wanted with the focus on eating everything on your plate and not actually being taught how to cook healthy turned more to the processed foods. I am over weight and for the first time in my life looking at food to eat more for nutrients then what I can /can not eat and just eating everything else. The other 2 are normal weight but what you would call the fat skinny... we are all just learning proper nutrition now in our 40s.
It is a hard balance, but it is just that- a balance.
Get the kids involved ( we have actually found a few combinations of cinnamon/ hot peppers that everyone loves) pick a day they can cook/prep or help?
Make the choices of the foods that come into the house..olive oil, low sodium alternates, 6 ingredients or less, nothing that needs a can opener or microwave..
Go for a tester.. once a week buy a new fruit or veggie ( let the kids pick it out) and rule is everyone has to take 1 bite..make it a discovery together instead of a punishment and with in 6 months the 80/20 rule should be natural.0 -
My son is a great eater. I'm a home childcare provider so I have this issue with other kids. Now my daughter is starting to not eat things. I let parents know that what I provide is all that is given. I give a protein, a carb, a fruit, a veggie and milk! I don't make them eat anything but if their hungry thats their choice. I also give snacks every three hours and that never seems to be enough. They would live off crackers and such. My daughter is 21 months and I know she hates green beans but if that's what's on the menu she gets it. She's acually started eating a few here and there! Kids will eat when their hungry no matter how "nasty" something is!!!!!0
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I have three boys - one (8) who is now less picky than ever before, one (8) who will eat anything (and too much of it), and another (4) who has just decided he doesn't like an.y.thing.
The last two are "part-timers" and the first kid is at home full-time. I've dealt with the full-timer on my own for close to 8 years - eating was always a struggle. I tried sitting at the table until he finished, rewarding with something / anything, screaming & crying matches until he DID throw up, and the "go without" method. Quite honestly, the latter worked the best. Because, like you said - they WILL eat when they're hungry - even if that means at school the next day. The thought of me getting in trouble for "starving" him never crossed my mind - he's not the first picky eater on the planet.
As for the other two: the oldest part-timer is a chunky butt, but by no means fat - he's thick (12 lbs heavier than my boy who is 5mos older) - but he eats like a horse (literally, the kid is a mess, lol) & I often have to remind my SO that his stomach is only the size of his fist and no, he "does NOT need a third slice of pizza" - make him wait it out - it takes 15 minutes for your brain to get the "STOP" message (so I've heard) - he won't starve to death in 15 minutes. These type of eating habits are difficult to establish when you have limited days with your children
The 4-yr old, the other part timer who's newly picky - we haven't nailed this one down yet. Sometimes we remind him that if he doesn't eat he'll be hungry until next meal time - and sometimes this works, sometimes not. Also, I think he's trying to figure out how to articulate what his body is telling him. Much like "I don't like yogurt" really means "I'm just not in the mood for yogurt right now." And that's ok and what leads me to:
Something else to try, and this is similar to what other's have mentioned regarding having them help you cook - let them help you plan the menu - a base level activity. If they feel like the have a little control - that goes a long way. i.e. "Which vegetable would you prefer: green beans or broccoli?"
You'll work through this - and they'll eventually realize you're not the twinkie smashing devil but a mother who has their best interest at heart (and belly, thighs, etc.
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Kids will eat when they are hungry enough. Older kids will hold out a lot longer, but when they are hungry they will eat, or they will find a few things in the new healthier choices that they like and start to fill up on that until they are ready to try new stuff.
Having raised a lot of teenagers, and a handful of younger children over the course of our foster parenting years, non of our kids starved. Very few had been exposed to healthy foods, because WIC, food stamps, and the food shelves have a lot of processed foods.
ALL of the kids very quickly adapted, and expanded their palates. I tried to include versions of their favorites that were healthier. Instead of fast food options, I made baked, white meat chicken nuggets with baked french fries, as an example. While high in sodium, much lower in fat and it was a healthier meat. I buy 93-96% ground beef (or bison), included a variety of veggies, and fresh fruits. Many of the kids we cared for had only ever had canned fruits in heavy syrup or fruit juices. This was a huge change for them.
The biggest changes were in snacks. Instead of crackers, chips, and cookies, we had pretzels, popcorn, yogurt, fresh fruit, and low-fat cheeses. Skim milk and cereal, although this was something they'd all go nuts on, and I had to limit cereals. "Junk foods" were limited to once a week, or a dessert night.
Seriously, none of the kids starved, and we never had a rule about them not leaving the table until they finished their meal. Eat it or wait until the next meal. If you change your mind, I'll save your plate and re-heat it for you. There was some pouting the first few days, and the child we eventually adopted was our pickiest eater. If there was something that they truly hated we'd try to avoid it. I had two brothers who absolutely detested onions. So when I'd make things with onions, I'd either puree them or limit them so they could pick them out or eat around them, which is what I do with mushrooms. Husband loves them, I hate them!
However, all bets are off with my 8 year old niece. She already is a compulsive over eater and has literally a list of about 20 foods that she'll eat. She's already obese. We're hoping my sister will take her to a therapist. She will not touch a fruit or vegetable in any form, and my sister has a poor understanding of nutrition. She'll throw 1/2 a can of processed pumpkin into a batch of pancake batter and call it healthy. Meanwhile, they add butter, chocolate chips, and powdered sugar to the finished product.
*SIGH* that's a whole different story. If I had a child with eating disorders like my niece, I would have handled it differently.0 -
If we wouldn't eat our food, my mom would lock us in the hallway with our plate of food and we weren't let out until we had eaten at least 3/4.
Tough love, but it has made me and my sisters very unpicky eaters.0 -
^^I have heard you need to introduce foods to your kids up to 20 times before they get used to it and actually like it, so don't give up! There are lots of sneaky ways to add veggies to foods-- like using a puree.
So true. I pretty much make my daughter and stepson take at least 3 bites. Half the time, they like it; the other half I get the "fake gagging" (LOL). I refuse to make 2 meals though, so they eat what I prepare or miss a meal. Btw, they have never NOT eaten anything. The more they see me and my husband eating healthy food, the more they are inclined to eat it. It's much easier with my 2 year old because she does what Mommy does. The 9 year old is a bit tougher, but for the most part, does a good job of eating his veggies and trying (at least a few bites) of new things.0 -
Maybe before you strat dinner you can ask them what do you want - your choices are healthy option 1 and helthy option 2.
They make not really want either but by letting them have a vote they are more likely to eat it. Maybe on Sundays sit down with them and say lets plan our dinners this week. Including them may make them more likely to eat it.
Otherwise.... offer them waht you make. If they dont eat it, then they can be hungry until their healthy breakfast in the morning is offered. I bet it only takes a few hungry nights to change that behavior.0 -
I agree that there are so many healthy options you can allow them to give some input when you are doing your weekly shopping. And introduce new foods at a slow, steady rate. Maybe they don't like a certain dish (maybe it's not good cooking even), but they might like it if you prepared it differently another time (within reason of course, you don't need to be a 5 star cook), or maybe they don't like one kind of veggie, but they like other kinds.
You think you have 2 very limited options, but that's absurd. We are all parents here, and we know you have more options than that. It's one thing if they are making a dramatic fuss (that should not be placated), but another thing entirely if they are actually throwing up on their plate (that's not normal kid behavior, kids hate throwing up).
And if you don't want them filling up on junk, don't provide that.0 -
Let them go hungry. As kids, we were told "eat what you get or go scratch." If we didn't like the meal, we wouldn't eat.0
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I agree!!Let them go hungry. My philosophy is... a kid will eat when they are hungry. You are doing your kids a favor by introducing this new way of eating at a young age... their taste buds will adapt, as will yours.
Enjoy the road to health!!
When my kids don't eat what I serve them, they can go hungry. Even their pediatrician agrees with me and said it was ok, But I think normal Mom guilt kicks in (for me it does).
I agree. I make my girls eat at least their veggies though. I only make things I know they like, and if I KNOW one doesn't like something, I'll sub something else. There's things I, as an adult, don't like, I don't expect them to eat everything. I do, however, expect them to TRY everything I put in front of them. If they try and don't like it, as long as they tried, I'm good with that.0 -
Tough love, but it has made me and my sisters very unpicky eaters.
Tough love would be to force a child to sit at the table, after you've made something you know they don't like, until the morning hours too? That's what happened to me. I got NO sleep for school, unless I fell asleep in my food. That's abuse in my honest opinion.0 -
hmmm. this is a tough question. i definitely dont like it when parents force their children to eat when they are not hungry. if the kid is hungry, they will let you know. now the issue of what they eat is a difficult one. i hope to raise my children eating fairly healthy from the beginning because a sudden change from yummy junk to healthy food is no fun for children.
but if thats the case i would:
1)make healthy meals that taste good- this takes time,skill, and effort but anyone can do it and it is SO worth it. ( message me if you need recipes)
2) hide veggies in their food.
3) have them help cook the meals. this will make them feel accomplished of their work and they will want to indulge in that.
4) make the food aesthetically pleasing. for example: http://media.onsugar.com/files/2010/03/11/6/678/6783316/7fbc2c3a6e1dac52_ants_on_a_log.jpg
5) educate your child as to WHY they should eat healthy.0 -
I have heard you need to introduce foods to your kids up to 20 times before they get used to it and actually like it, so don't give up! There are lots of sneaky ways to add veggies to foods-- like using a puree.
Also, have you had your kids help cook? If they can help in any way, they are proud of their creation and will probably eat it no matter what!
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My situation is somewhat different because my son has Autism which often comes with food aversions, but we never force any of our childlren (we have 4) to eat anything. As others have posted, it can take up to 20 times offering a food before a child will try it.
I try to make sure each dinner has at least something everyone likes. For example: fajitas...my children won't eat peppers and onions, but they will eat the grilled chicken or shrimp, and the rest of the toppings. I also try to make it fun to try new things. My son is against anything green, so I have him help me pick out a veg when we go shopping and then help me prepare it. He has tried broccoli and greenbeans, which he now knows he does not like, but he tried.
Along those lines I also let each child pick a dinner which they help me prepare weekly. They are in charge of planning a whole helathy meal which we shop for and make together. They are always so proud to serve a healthy meal to the family.
I also give my kiddos the option of making their own sandwiches (they are 8 year old twins, and 11 years so they know how to make a sandwich) or a bowl of cheerios. They know every night at dinner if they won't eat what we are having they have those other healthy options.
Sorry this was so long, but I hope it helps!0 -
I will never MAKE my kids sit there and eat food they don't want to. I still can't eat bananas and chicken because of this happening to me as a kid.
I am not a short order cook either. My kids eat what I feed them or they don't eat. So far they mostly opt for eating and aren't very picky at all.0
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