Is it rude to go to a restaurant and not eat?

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  • ChunkieNuts
    ChunkieNuts Posts: 135 Member
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    Nope, ive done that before, either had just a drink while the others ate, or i order a starter as my main meal...Its not actually a big deal especially if there is nothing healthy on the menu...Ioften sit in Mcdonalds and K.F.C with my partner whilst he eats, i just have coffee..
  • rickkaniuga
    rickkaniuga Posts: 5
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    You occupied space that your server was counting on for making money. Those chairs are real estate that needs to produce tips and sales for the server. If you and your wife just sat there, then tipped on the bill without leaving anything extra for the server, I think that is rude. If you "paid rent" and tipped the server for the money making space you were in, I think that's fine.
  • pixtotts
    pixtotts Posts: 552 Member
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    its a difficult one i can see where your coming from
    but for me it would make me awkward because i hate eating when other people arent im quite a slow eater but if others finish before me ill leave what i havent eaten yet. Iv never been to a japanese restaurant but generally id order something, anything just be sat with something in front of me a starter in place of a main or just a side dish...
    i think it also depends on the restaurant though... a high end place id say it shouldnt really be done... a run of the mill place i see no problem with it... (burger king and mcdonalds dont even count as restaurants in my eyes so the norm is for not everyone to be eating there)

    though having said that you do know for the future now to save your self for dinner to avoid upsetting your wife ;)
    x
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
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    I think for one person at the table to not order (due to the very factors that you mentioned) isn't rude at all. I've certainly been in large groups where people have said, "I'll just have a cup of tea" or something and my husband often is on a different schedule than me and will want to go out to eat after I've already eaten. I very often join him and simply say, "I'll just be having a beverage" or "I'm holding out for dessert" or some such thing. As long as it's not 12 people ordering nothing but water, I don't see the issue with one person not eating.

    But, I agree with a previous poster that you and your wife texting through dinner certainly IS rude. Also, your wife certainly could have order food even though you didn't. I think your wife is wrong here.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Reading through these replies, it seems people have an extremely low threshhold for rude behavior.

    I just don't see the big deal unless while you aren't eating, you're berating others for doing so. Or throwing food at them or something.
  • SanyamKaushik
    SanyamKaushik Posts: 215 Member
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    Well, I believe in do what I want to in restaurants. Its you who has to draw the line.

    Over the last one year, I have been trying to eat less (especially in restaurants) and it annoys me when waiters prompt me for starters/ desserts/drinks. (I sometimes have just the mains and tap water). I feel like come on, I know what I have to.

    In your situation in particular, I would have ordered something very "light", just to give company to the people eating. :drinker:
  • Ruthe8
    Ruthe8 Posts: 423 Member
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    You occupied space that your server was counting on for making money. Those chairs are real estate that needs to produce tips and sales for the server. If you and your wife just sat there, then tipped on the bill without leaving anything extra for the server, I think that is rude. If you "paid rent" and tipped the server for the money making space you were in, I think that's fine.
    Right, like they would have given that seat to some other random person if he hadn't been there? Don't be ridiculous.
  • crazyellybean
    crazyellybean Posts: 999 Member
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    Well sounds like your wife needs to relax!! Why WASTE food or money on something your not going to eat?! .. That is even more rude than not eating!! I'm sure people were not starring at you because you were not eating, people could care less if you eat or not!
  • MamaBear57
    MamaBear57 Posts: 336 Member
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    I don't find it rude...in fact have done the same thing with a going away lunch from work. The time is about enjoying those around you not the food. If the restaurand only serves large portions that are filled with unhealthy catagories then no you should not eat it. Maybe to avoid the fight get a side salad or something off the appetizer list. Or maybe a soup. This way it avoids the fight and does not hurt your goals to much.
  • possibri
    possibri Posts: 158 Member
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    Nope, not rude at all. God forbid you want to enjoy someone's company... honestly, that isn't a big deal. I've known people who were on strict diets who BRING their own food to a restaurant just so they can enjoy the social aspect while still staying true to their needs. I see this situation as basically the same in principle. If other people are offended by it, that's their problem — take care of YOU, 'cause really that's all you can do in this situation. Personally, I might've ordered an unsweetened tea just to appease the voice in my head telling me I should order SOMETHING. But, honestly, it's not like none of you ordered something.

    Kudos (mmmmmm Kudos) to you for not caving and ordering when you didn't want to. Most likely it would've led to you eating when you weren't hungry, or being resentful for being forced to order because you wanted proper manners. Your wife is making it sound like your behavior was on par with treating the waitress badly or being loud and drunk. I think the only person it really upset was her. =\


    EDIT: All of the people talking about "taking up space" are you kidding me? There were still two people at their table eating. Also, if his wife had ordered (like she probably wanted to, but didn't out of resentment or something) then he would've been the only person not eating. Yeah, the percentage of the tip might go down slightly, but it's not so much that it would be considered rude! In fact, think of all the people that don't tip at all... if he at least tipped for his daughter and friend's meals, then that's more than if someone didn't tip at all.
  • erikaaaaaaaa
    erikaaaaaaaa Posts: 155 Member
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    I am on the fence on whether it's rude or not. As a former waitress (for what seemed like forever), I really didn't care if people didn't order as long as someone was ordering at the table. This was at a normal table restaurant, however. As I remember it, hibachi restaurants have that seating around the cook top where seating is limited and the cook serves you. I feel as though while it might not be rude, per se, to not order in that situation, it would certainly make the table feel awkward.

    The other side, I have gone out with people and when they don't order, it makes everyone else feel uncomfortable to be watched eating. If I am not hungry and going out to eat for social reason or necessity, I will order a side salad just to be eating while others are eating. It's cheap, not necessarily filling, and can be low on calories.

    Just my two cents. :)
  • MrsDrk
    MrsDrk Posts: 153 Member
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    If you're try to be healthy - your family is there for support, not to critique or get upset if you don't eat when you're not hungry. I would have had a drink of some sort- tea or coffee. The only thing that seems rude to me, was texting at the dinner table- at a restaurant or home!

    I hope your daughter had a great birthday =)
  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
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    I used to think this to be rude, but now I don't think much of it because I work in mental health and take my clients out sometimes. They almost always want to go to eat (they pay for themselves) and I don't always have the money for that, so I'll just have water or soda if it fits in my calories.
  • smtillman2
    smtillman2 Posts: 756 Member
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    Not rude at all. I think it's normal for people in a large party to have someone that doesn't order. You were there for your daughters party not just for dinner so I don't see what the problem was. If anything your wife was being silly for not ordering because she was mad at you.
  • Lisha_R
    Lisha_R Posts: 92 Member
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    I agree with you. I have gone out with friends but had eaten before. I ordered tea or drank water. I wanted to visit and they were hungry. Why should I have to order something I don't want just to fit in.
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,248 Member
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    It creates an awkward situation for those dining with you and can be seen as cheap.
  • suegmune
    suegmune Posts: 81
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    Oh gawd, really? People really think that's rude, that 1 of 4 people was so full that they didn't need to eat lunch? No wonder why we're all fat -- because of "social norms" we have to shove food in our face to "save face"? Give me a break. That's ridiculous. I say if you don't want to eat or spend money, especially when you are already full, then go for it. Eating when we aren't hungry is exactly why most people are overweight -- its a social thing (mixed with many other reasons, of course).

    However....I think if it was just two people that went to a restaurant and one of them didn't eat, it might make the other feel uncomfortable and in that case I'd order SOMETHING, even if I took it home. Not saying that is right, nor should matter....but....that, for me at least, would be my breaking point and I would feel I have to order something.

    Your wife made it worse by not ordering as well. She could have asked if you wanted to share something with her....and make it all better and not an argument afterwards.

    If I wasn't hungry and still went out with friends/family...it would be because I wanted to spend time with them...and I don't think anyone should make you feel bad because you enjoy their company, and didn't want to eat.

    I hate social norms. I'm probably an anomaly.
  • merrillfoster
    merrillfoster Posts: 855 Member
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    It is rude, esp at some place like a hibachi restaurant, to go and not order. You are taking up a seat that that restaurant could be using for a paying customer (and no, the fact that you are (probably) paying for your kids doesn't count).
  • Melolicious
    Melolicious Posts: 71 Member
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    I don't understand why your wife didn't order... was she not hungry? Do you have an unwritten law that you need to eat together or not at all? Was she mad at you for that and not about food?
    Next time, don't say anything, let them order and then say "just a coffee/tea/whtever" and carry on with conversation without acknowledging that you didn't order food. It was rude to disagree about it in front of your daughter and friend and a fight about food isn't about food, it's about control.
    Don't forget to tip your server
  • MCrome
    MCrome Posts: 14 Member
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    thats not rude, its your choice lol
    Its not like none of you ate . Why force feed yourself , thats how weight problems happen ?
    I think you shouldnt have to eat nothing inless you want to. what happend to free will ??

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