Is it rude to go to a restaurant and not eat?

Options
1…34689…13

Replies

  • RenewedRunner
    RenewedRunner Posts: 423 Member
    Options
    As someone who worked as a waitress for years to put myself through college, I would not have cared that you didnt eat. I would have cared if you stiffed me on the tip.
  • pinkspanglystar
    pinkspanglystar Posts: 35 Member
    Options
    I dont think its rude at all but the clear grump people have with you on here is partly the reason who others eat when they dont really want to!! I have been out with friends loads of times and not had food (mainly cos I cant eat wheat and there is never anything on the menu suitable) but neither me or my friends get bothered by it. I still join in with everything else and we all have fun!!

    Just give her some chocolate and tell her to stop being so emotional!!
  • llsand
    llsand Posts: 87
    Options
    I wouldn’t have forced myself to eat, no matter what. But, I would’ve ordered at least a coffee or Tea to “accompany” the people at the table. I find it extremely rude to have texted back and forth during your daughters b-day diner. Actually, it’s beyond rude to do that in ANY circumstance.

    The fact that your wife didn’t order was just to try to make YOU uncomfortable, it’s immature (just like the texting at the table).

    That’s my two scents.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    Options
    OMG PEOPLE!!

    Comments on social etiquette entirely in caps
  • ashliehorst
    ashliehorst Posts: 7
    Options
    Usually when I am in your position I just say that I will share with the person ordering. That way there is no hard feelings. Also that way you don't have to eat much or at all. Plus you won't have to worry about it being a large portion since you will be sharing.
  • sicilysclover
    sicilysclover Posts: 173 Member
    Options
    I think the people who are saying it's rude are completely ridiculous. What are you supposed to do? Sit and wait in the car until everyone is done eating? Come on. It was a social event, for your daughter. Why should you force yourself to eat or buy something you don't want? You did this for her and that's what is important, not whether strangers in a restaurant think you're "rude" for not placing an unwanted order.
  • youcandooeet
    youcandooeet Posts: 104 Member
    Options
    Your marriage is more important than worrying about if it's universally rude or not. Now that you know it bothers your wife, order a cup of soup or something similar next time. Investing in the happiness of your marriage is better than proving to her that you're right because the internet said so.

    Also, she should have told you differently that it bothered her, but that's another issue all together!
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    Options
    Majority of responses: "It's not rude because I do it all the time"

    lol, my thoughts exactly.
  • delilah47
    delilah47 Posts: 1,658
    Options
    I don't necessarily think you were rude for not eating, but you and your wife should have planned better. What little girl wants to have her special birthday dinner spoiled by warring parents.. and to eat it when nobody else is eating?
  • sstine12
    sstine12 Posts: 2
    Options
    I don't think that it is rude at all. In fact I did the same thing last Friday. Just because you are not hungry does not mean that you should have to miss out on anything! You shouldn't have to force yourself to eat or pay for something you are going to waste.
  • agentscully514
    agentscully514 Posts: 616 Member
    Options
    It's like going to a bar and not drinking!!! You can't do this kind of crazy *kitten*..... You need help!!!! Man, just do your thing.... people will get over it.

    Some bars have a minimum order of drinks, especially if you are in a big city like NYC where every seat costs the bar money. The bars are so tiny and the rents are so high that they really do not want to have people there who are just taking up space. You should order something even if it is not alcoholic. If you are in a place where space is not at a premium, it is not so bad.
  • squirmmonster
    squirmmonster Posts: 98 Member
    Options
    Why does it matter if you were slightly rude? You were a parent, feeding your child for her birthday. Restaurants and servers- trust me- do NOT care if you are slightly rude, socially awkward, ugly, smelly, or weird. Short of being intentionally offensive, they just want your money. It's a BUSINESS. Those servers have to deal with the ****tiest people all day long, and if you think that they give two rat's *kitten* about whether or not you eat, you are severely delusional. Especially if you were paying for the meals, but not hungry yourself, they're still happy to have you. Now, if you come in with a party of eight, and only two people are eating, that might be one thing. That's a full table and a half of people who are sitting there, where paying customers could sit. But that was your child. So I see no grounds for refusing you service.
  • fattypattybinger
    fattypattybinger Posts: 337
    Options
    It was her birthday. Couldn't you order something then take a few bites then ask for a dog bag. You both made a fool of yourself. It was her day not yours to be difficult. I understand watching calories but you could have adjusted your calories for the day. You knew you were going so why didn't you plan ahead. You both made yourself look like fools in public. Put your daughter first. If it was for calories couldn't you work them off. Sounds like you need to work harder at logging calories. Life isn't about I can't eat. Live for the moment. Life is too precious don't ruin her day. I would have cried if my parents acted like that. My father has passed and my Mom lives in another state. You are lucky you have a daughter in your life enjoy it. Life is too precious to fight over eating. You won't get my support sorry.
  • mulderpf
    mulderpf Posts: 209 Member
    Options
    1. It's probably more rude to expect someone to eat/order something when they don't want to.
    2. It's rude to sit and send and read texts when you are at dinner with a group of people.

    What I don't get is the fact that you have children together, but it sounds like you are two strangers (she has to TEXT you to tell you that she thinks you are rude and even worse, you have to come to a public forum to have random strangers pick sides for you).

    Seriously, your wife's perception that you were being rude is probably the least of your problems!
  • HMD7703
    HMD7703 Posts: 761 Member
    Options
    NOT RUDE - not ordering because you are NOT hungry. You are not occupying valued real estate if others in your party are ordering.
    RUDE - (and petty) not ordering because your spouse is not hungry.
  • taiyola
    taiyola Posts: 964 Member
    Options
    I don't think it was rude. She seemed to only not order out of spite and cos she was pissed off. Immature on her behalf.

    A couple of weekends ago me and my friend went shopping out of town. I'd had a wrap whilst walking round a few hours prior, then got an ice cream. My friend decided he was hungry and wanted a sit down meal. I'd already eaten, and so I just sat there and we talked while he ate and I shared some of his drink.
    Although if I'd have known in advance he wanted to go for a sit down meal, I wouldn't have eaten the ice cream and would have joined him. But I didn't. No biggie.

    However, you knew, so maybe next time skip the popcorn and save yourself for the restaurant?
  • FierceFox81
    FierceFox81 Posts: 89
    Options
    I don't think it was rude at all. I've done that before. I've just ordered a beverage and visited with people while they ate. I think she made a bigger stink of the situation then needed.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    Options
    why would you go out to eat if you aren't hungry?
    that's like going to a hooker and not wanting to get a beej.

    I assume you missed the part where it was his daughters birthday and SHE wanted to go out to the restaurant, it's not like it was his idea to go just so he can not order food.

    If it was just him and his wife, and it was his idea, then yeah...kinda stupid. But if he's taken his kid out for a birthday dinner after having a late lunch and movie popcorn...not weird at all.

    To the OP: Not ordering a food when going to a restaurant for your family is not rude. You went there for your daughter. Your wife not ordering something just because you weren't ordering anything is just petty and the response of 2 yr old. Order some coffee or water or whatever you want to drink, enjoy the company of those with you and move on.

    It's not weird nor is it rude. You're not hungry, don't order food. I would think eating for the sake of eating is what got a lot of people on this site to begin with. I would also think it's those types of habits we're trying to break. I say if you can sit through an entire meal at a restaurant and NOT eat anything...more power to you.

    Here's the ironic part of this: Had the OP said, "My daughter's birthday is coming up and she wants to go for a late lunch, then to a movie, and then to dinner and I know I won't be hungry at dinner and I don't want to go over my calories, what should I do?" Then there would have been a few dozen responses saying, "If you're not hungry, then don't order anything, just let them know you're not hungry but you want to be there for them and then order a drink and focus on your daughter."
  • Paige_me
    Paige_me Posts: 59 Member
    Options
    Truthfully, it wasn't rude not to order but your wife may have thought it was a little rude that you didn't give her the heads up. I think had you said something before you got in the restaurant or offered to split something with her since you weren't that hungry it may have helped her to feel more "in the loop".

    But then again, when I bring my lunch I'll sometimes take it into Subway or Panera and meet a friend that is eating her lunch there. I'm sure it's not the best idea but I bring my lunch because I know it's "clean eating" because I made it!
  • piinchi
    piinchi Posts: 172 Member
    Options
    Order something small and take it home. Texting at the table is rude too.

Categories