Is it rude to go to a restaurant and not eat?

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  • tigerblue
    tigerblue Posts: 1,525 Member
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    I would never go alone to a restaurant and not eat, but sometimes if I am with a group, I may not want to eat for many of the reasons mentioned above. Since you are with a group, you are not "taking a table" from a paying customer!

    Why not order a diet drink or a cup of coffee if you feel uncomfortable.

    I certainly would not order food just to poke at it and throw it away! That is wasteful and extravagant.

    BTW, i don't care if people think I'm cheap!
  • hauer01
    hauer01 Posts: 523 Member
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    I meet my friends out all of the time, they order food, I rarely do. I actually don't care if they think it is rude, I am not spending my hard earned money on something that I don't want. I always still tip the waitress, even if I didn't get anything, just a dollar or two, because they usually do bring me something to drink or water to drink and I think that their effort is worth a tip.

    I grew up in resteraunts, family business. In my opnion, this is NOT weird or rude at all.
  • fleur_de_lis19
    fleur_de_lis19 Posts: 926 Member
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    yeah i think its rude. I think i would have at least ordered their soup and salad and nibbled on it to make everyone feel more comfortable.
  • angiemartin78
    angiemartin78 Posts: 475 Member
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    I don't see anything rude with not ordering. I do it ALL the time. What does kinda bug me is that your wife had the nerve to get mad at you for something that she was doing too??? I mean, WTF? So she didn't order bc you didn't but was mad at your for not ordering...Someone please explain this one to me. I also don't understand why the 2 of your were texting, and I'm assuming it was angry texting, during your daughters bday dinner. Afterall, the day was supposed to be about her...Not the 2 of you.
  • Illona88
    Illona88 Posts: 903 Member
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    Unless you look like you might be sick at any minute, it is incredibly rude to go to a restaurant and not eat.
    Looks really cheap too.
    In some restaurants you will be sent away if you don't order anything, even if your friends do have something.

    Just order something small next time, like a small salad or soup.

    where do you eat that they'll ask someone to leave if they are just there to have a conversation with some friends? What if they got invited on a spur of the moment things right after they ate?

    I don't like your restaurants.

    I don't like it either, but that's how it is.
    Maybe it's a french/belgian/dutch thing, because that's where I know friends of mine have been sent away.
  • redredy9
    redredy9 Posts: 706 Member
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    I won't eat if my husband is not eating. I don't care if I'm starving and the room is packed with other people eating - I won't do it - but I try not to resent him for it - I could easily choose to eat, and it's not like I'll get beaten or start a fight if I eat. I just don't feel right doing it.

    This is very strange to me. Why not? Will he eat if you don't?
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
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    I only think it's rude if you go to a restaurant and order nothing. There have been times I'll go to a restaurant, not order food, but at least get something to drink besides water. It is a bit awkward for others who are eating.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    If it's rude I'm in big trouble. My friends invite me to restaurants all the time (to visit). I have allergies. I can't eat at ANY restaurants. Too much cross contamination. So I just sit and visit while they eat. No one has ever thought this rude and I've NEVER had a waiter treat me differently because of it. *shrug*

    I think if everyone else at the table is ordering it's no one's business if you eat or not.

    So my opinion? It's not rude. Not everyone can eat at restaurants. Should you be exempted from the celebration because you're not eating? NO!
  • wtfusernameisnttaken
    wtfusernameisnttaken Posts: 192
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    I don't understand the problem here. No, I don't think it's "rude" for you to not order food when you're not hungry. The only one who seemingly had a problem was your wife, who was undoubtedly uncomfortable eating when you weren't. That's HER insecurity, not yours.
  • marmalade628
    marmalade628 Posts: 35 Member
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    I don't think it is rude but kind of weird. My husband will not eat out at all due to his diet. He will want to go with me to a restaurant just because I want to eat out but he will not eat. He has some health issues that he just doesn't want to deal with the unpleasant affects that certain foods cause to his body. I understand that, but it still feels weird to be eating and he is just sitting there watching me and others eat. So most of the time I won't got out to eat with him. If my children will go with me then I go or I go out by myself for lunch as I don't want to be eating and he is just sitting there. It is just weird!!!
  • jfrog123
    jfrog123 Posts: 432 Member
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    If you are in a group at a restaurant and don't eat I don't think that is rude. I would order a drink and enjoy the company of my family. I think others here have hit the nail on the head - your wife probably felt that she would look like a glutton if she ate and you did not. I have been a server and quite often had parties that included people who did not eat. If it was a one-on-one situation and you had asked your wife out dinner then said you weren't eating I think that would be rude. But in this case I see no foul.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    Majority of responses: "It's not rude because I do it all the time"
  • agentscully514
    agentscully514 Posts: 616 Member
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    They are a business, and if you are sitting in a chair and not eating, you are costing them money. So it's not a nice thing to do to the restaurant. If you are in a big group it is not as bad, but with only three people and two adults not eating, that's kind of rude.
  • Ms_Chai
    Ms_Chai Posts: 86 Member
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    Not rude. Period. You were not going out of your way to insult someone, or be mean. You were there for your daughter. I think people need to start taking control of their own feelings and emotions and realize that not everyone is going to do exactly what they want them to...and that doesn't make them rude. Do what you want to do, you are an adult. I have gone to family get-togethers and not eaten much of the food...and some family members think that is rude. Why should anyone have to eat food they don't want to....how in the world is that beneficial to anyone? Now....if you sat there and complained about the food or kept making statements about how unhealthy the food is while other people eat it...then that IS rude.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    I think not ordering something creates an awkward ambience...further compounded by you and your wife texting each other at the dinner table. Personally I would have order a salad or something small and brought it home if I couldn't finish
  • jenneal89
    jenneal89 Posts: 243
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    I dont think it's rude. After all it's not like you're a guest at someobe's house and refuse to eat. Not sure why it upset your wife so much tho and it was a bit silly of her not to order something just because you didn't. I think what your wife did would have made me uncomfortable if I was your daughter. Just my opinion of course.
  • AnneC77
    AnneC77 Posts: 284
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    I don't think it is rude at all. I think your wife and the Waitress were the ones who were being rude. I don't understand why people do things because they feel obligated to. I would have had a drink and enjoyed the day, I probably would have ignored the texts as well. The day was your daughters not anyone else's.
  • FitCurves444
    FitCurves444 Posts: 169 Member
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    I've been in the position of sitting with people that did not order when we went out to eat and I did feel very uncomfortable. That is true; but that was my problem....not theirs. And I did not think it was rude. Why should you be forced to eat when you're not hungry!? It is more rude for your wife to sit there and glare and throw a fit and be in protest. If she wanted to order, she should have.

    The next time you're in a similar situation, ask the party you're with if they are going to be uncomfortable when you don't order because you're not hungry. I bet no one is going to think twice to answer, "No! Of course not!" They may not want to order and go hungry, but that is not your problem. Your problem is you and YOUR own hunger or lack of it.

    I think your wife probably wanted to order and felt that if you didn't, she was going to look like a pigglet in front of the kids but she really wanted to.... and since you didn't... she couldn't. Sounds like a personal problem, doesn't?

    Hope you have made up, though. It's not worth the fight.
  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
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    Yeah, it really kind of is, in my opinion. I think the arguing over it made it worse, but everyone's going out to have fun, being reminding of someone's diet is a little, i don't know, a bit of a drag really and kind of excludes you from the activity. Like it or not eating is a social interaction. You know you're going out, plan ahead to have something that fits within your day.
  • flynchef
    flynchef Posts: 7
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    OMG PEOPLE!!
    WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK??!! REALLY?
    IF YOU WERENT HUNGRY...BRAVO! WHY WASTE MONEY ON SOMETHING YOU DONT WANT!
    NO ONE WILL REMEMBER YOU THE NEXT DAY AS THE GUY WHO DIDNT ORDER ANYTHING!
    AS FAR AS YOUR WIFE...SHE COULD HAVE BEEN A LITTLE MORE SUPPORTIVE
    WE PUT TOO MUCH INTO WHAT OTHERS THINK..

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