A Happy Marriage = Wife in the Kitchen

randomtai

That's because no matter how many times he does the dishes, he doesn't put them in the dishrack the right way!!!!!

Thank you!

If I wait around for stuff to be done right I will have to wait a looooong time. I rather do it myself, right the first time and not have to even redo it again. It doesn't matter how many times I explain how it's done..it just never happens.

This my friends is the key to men getting out of doing chores...lol

You know what, if somebody kept telling me I was doing everything wrong, I wouldnt do it anymore. Give him a break and be happy with he does.

Agreed... Nothing like *****ing at someone trying to help... :noway:

eillamarie

I do most of the cooking and all of the cleaning, but that's only because I loathe yard work and fixing things so the man does that stuff. It works out pretty evenly in the end. I don't have to shovel the walkway & he doesn't have to clean the toilet!

MassiveDelta

Correlation does not equal cause and effect.

thanks for your in depth feedback.

Darkskinned88

i wouldn't say i demand my wife in the kitchen but i can see how it would be one less thing to argue about, no different from having one person handle the finances. When you start assigning turns, or one feeling like they're doing too much, friction starts

jcjsjones

:happy:

jcjsjones

To be honest, right now my husband does the majority of the daily house work, while I do the major cleaning on the weekend. I work full time, go to school full time, and don't really have the extra time to keep things up the way they should be. However, I still do the majority of the cooking....because I like my food edible..lol! :laugh:

GaidenJade

I find one thing wrong with this study. They didn't say that the cause of divorce was because they shared the housework. For all I know this percentage of people all cheated, or perhaps were abusive. Unless one refuses to do any housework and the other murders him or her, then I don't see how housework is even a subject. Just more wasted money.

Personally in my household, my husband straightens, takes out garbage and I wash clothes, and do the BIG cleaning. Oh and he's a WAY better cook than I am. Very sexy.

eillamarie

I do most of the cooking and all of the cleaning, but that's only because I loathe yard work and fixing things so my guy does that stuff. It works out pretty evenly in the end. I don't have to shovel the walkway & he doesn't have to clean the toilet!

rml_16

That's because no matter how many times he does the dishes, he doesn't put them in the dishrack the right way!!!!!

Thank you!

If I wait around for stuff to be done right I will have to wait a looooong time. I rather do it myself, right the first time and not have to even redo it again. It doesn't matter how many times I explain how it's done..it just never happens.

This my friends is the key to men getting out of doing chores...lol

You know what, if somebody kept telling me I was doing everything wrong, I wouldnt do it anymore. Give him a break and be happy with he does.

Agreed... Nothing like *****ing at someone trying to help... :noway:

My post was a joke. I would never actually tell him he did it wrong. I just think it and try to ignore it because it's my issue, not his.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Um, chores are not divided equally in my house --- my husband definitely does more. So, he's less of a man? Ha. No. All man.

I think there is a lot of faulty logic happening in this study. If you are dividing chores equally and one person HATES it, that's probably as big of an issue as one spouse doing all the chores and hating it. It's not an issue of gender equality - that's an issue of somebody being unhappy with their circumstance and SURPRISE people unhappy with their circumstances get divorced. Sure, a woman who has always dreamed of staying at home and maintaining a house is going to be MUCH happier doing that than some dude who got married to a career-oriented wife and expected her to maintain the house cause that's woman's work, only to find she wanted equal division of labor. That's a no brainer.

Also, our society has this weird notion that fair means equal and they get caught up trying to make thing "equal". Like I said, my husband does more than I do when it comes to cleaning, but I certain help him (we both work FT but are based at home). Is that fair? Sure --- I love my husband so dearly and appreciate every single thing he does for me and I live my life to make his better. If he was obsessive about if he was doing the dishes more, I probably wouldn't feel the same way.

lour441

The topic needs to be fixed...

"A Happy Marriage = Wife barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen"

fcp1234

I think women tend to turn into mothers after a while.

My husband already has a nagging mother that corrects him on everything he does, he doesn’t need another one. He tries to help and helps a lot and that needs to be appreciated and rewarded. Yea he thinks shoes go on the living room floor rather than shoe closet, but he is 38yo, is nagging gonna change that? Probably not, so I don’t let it bother me. Yea he doesn’t put the dishes away, BUT who cares, he did the dishes.

MassiveDelta

I am entirely ok with this IF the wife is a housewife or stay-at-home-mom. However, if both partners work full time, then they should share the housework equally.

That. If they're both working - there's no reason the wife should also bear the brunt of all child care, cooking and cleaning. Trust me - doesn't work.

This secttion though:
“The more you organise your relationship, the more you work out diaries and schedules, the more it becomes a business relationship than an intimate, loving spontaneous one.

very true. People get so caught up keeping score of who's doing more or not doing enough rather. There's a balance where the family (kids included) all pitch in for the greater good. Do all things in love and kindness and not for recognition or reward.

To me this hit the nail on the Head and I dont think Julie even knows it. The KEEPING OF SCORE. The rights the wrongs the who did this and that.... Thats what ruins marriages. in my opinion

Bronx_Montgomery

A happy marriage is a marriage that is full of love and sexual desire. It doesn't matter who does the house work or not. If there is no sex drive there is no marriage. Plain and simple

Also in my opinion...the only reason a marriage last longer in a marriage where the woman does all the house work is because she does not stand up for herself and most likely lives with a *kitten* of a man who does not know how to treat a woman right.

hellnokitty

The topic needs to be fixed...

"A Happy Marriage = Wife barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen"

Or:

"A marriage that probably isn't really happy but dammit, it lasts = wife as a domestic slave"

jackpotclown

I do what I can to help out, though laundry (as far as washing) is not one of them.....I damn near mess it up every time because of what and how she wants stuff separated, so I'll help her fold....when it comes to vacuuming, I'm the one moving furniture.....dishes, I'm the one rinsing unless she's not home....basically, I'm a good helper.....but hey the lawn is mine and mine alone......\m/

OkieinMinny

Couples who share the housework are more likely to divorce, study finds
Divorce rates are far higher among “modern” couples who share the housework than in those where the woman does the lion’s share of the chores, a Norwegian study has found. In what appears to be a slap in the face for gender equality, the report found the divorce rate among couples who shared housework equally was around 50 per cent higher than among those where the woman did most of the work.

Well, this explains why Im still married!

In all honesty I agree with Juliecat1 - if there is a household with 2 working people/parents - it needs to be equally shared (somewhat) I don't mow the lawn, snow blow or any of that - BUT he doesn't cook or do other things - so it needs to be equally shared but cant become a business partnership, which is what unfortunately happens too often....

fitnessgoalie

Its difficult working full time and doing the housework with a child/children. This is something I struggle with. My boyfriend and I argue about this all the time. Interesting study.....

Cassie8877

People divorce because it is much easier to walk away from a marriage than it was 10 - 20 years ago where it was frown upon and people just stuck with it and tried to make the best of the situation.

Agreed even tho everyone is hurting for money but u can go.throwing money away on a huge wedding then once again on a huge divorce..

Marry the person u can live without but the people you would rather not live without

CkepiJinx

Happy Marriage...more time with the wife in bedroom feet facing ceiling and a dirty kitchen. I think everyone would be happier :-)

This

MassiveDelta

The topic needs to be fixed...

"A Happy Marriage = Wife barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen"

Or:

"A marriage that probably isn't really happy but dammit, it lasts = wife as a domestic slave"

Sounds like someone may be bitter. Those shackles are heavy aren't they?

Mama_Mila

This is absurd :noway:

devil_in_a_blue_dress

A happy marriage is a marriage that is full of love and sexual desire. It doesn't matter who does the house work or not. If there is no sex drive there is no marriage. Plain and simple

Also in my opinion...the only reason a marriage last longer in a marriage where the woman does all the house work is because she does not stand up for herself and most likely lives with a *kitten* of a man who does not know how to treat a woman right.

Well, if I wasn't already married, I'd want your number.

deannarey13

I'm not suprised. Men are lazy. For some reason, they feel entitled to allow a woman to wait on them hand and foot.

I guess I am too "modern". I am no more capable of cleaning than any man. I work full-time, bringing home more than my share of the bacon. I am not about to come home and treat my man as if he is one of my children. I have every right to enjoy some down time (not that I get any with a full time job, fitness goals and a child) as my husband does. I expect the relationship to be give and take. I am not put on this Earth to cater to a man. Period.

emilyhughes2

I always think these statistics are silly- people who, for cultural or religious reasons, believe that women are supposed to subservient baby machines/house maids for the men in their lives probably also have religious and cultural objections to divorce.

Mystery solved.

Makes sense.

kaotik26

I call BS, I get more angry and less patient with my husband when he's not helping. He's a big boy, he can hand a few dishes or the vacuum once in a while.

Cheryl2205

i do most of the housework in our house eg cooking, washing clothes, hovvering, dusting etc. My fiance does the dishes every night and takes out the rubbish, he will occasionally 'help' when i am not in but i usually have to go over what he has done as he can never get streaks off mirrors ect as well as i can :laugh:

Shannon2714

Marriages fail because of the individuals not fighting to keep the love alive. Divorce is way to easy these days. It is like anything else, you get out of it what you put into it!

There is no struggle for power in a relationship, you should be true partners!

Yup. Marriage is work. It isn't just happiness or misery. It's both and a whole lot in between. Who does what chores is a very small part of the important things. Yes, if one is b!tching at the other all the time about dishes or trash or laundry, etc...then things will be tense and cause problems. But, as long as no one is feeling under appreciated or over worked, there shouldn't be major issues because of this.

Ke22yB

Let my wife in my kitchen are you nuts I enjoy eating well and being healthy to much for that. The shopping and food prep is a mans job right If I am going to log everything I am going to do the measuring and the cooking I know french fries are not a food group

lamilli09

I always think these statistics are silly- people who, for cultural or religious reasons, believe that women are supposed to subservient baby machines/house maids for the men in their lives probably also have religious and cultural objections to divorce.

Mystery solved.

Thanks for putting my thoughts into words.

Just because someone's not divorcing doesn't mean their marriage is good. Maybe they just feel they don't have options.

I love being married, but I don't see high divorce rates as bad things. Being stuck in a bad situation is way worse than divorce.

^^ all of this!