A Happy Marriage = Wife in the Kitchen

k8blujay2

Hmmm... Interesting... I don't know about that though... because I do the lion share of the house cleaning and the cooking... and that is after a 8 hour work day... though my husband does work longer hours sometimes and takes care of other things... but it drives me absolutely batty when I have to pick up after him... you know, the dirty dishes, the dirty clothes, the shoes... and it really does irrate me when I have to take care of HIS dog too... But on the flip side, when he does do these things, it makes me appreciate him more.... I just wish he would put the damn peanut butter jar away, instead of leaving it open on the counter with a knife stuck in it. :ohwell:

k8blujay2

Thats BS.
If hubby wants me to have energy for him when the sun goes down, he better help.

haha.true story

Haha... That's what I keep telling mine too... :laugh:

iAMsmiling

Not my wife and my kitchen.
She passes through it on the way from the garage to our bedroom. If she needs a diet coke, she sends one of the boys for it.

It's just as well. The only time I've ever heard her curse is when she has tried to cook. It's a pathetic sight really.

bushidowoman

My hubby is a disaster in the kitchen. We are both happier when I am in the kitchen. But he's a beast at the grill!
Anyway, I think happiness depends less on who does what and more on things like mutual respect, communication, lots of sex...

TheRealParisLove

Maybe it's because men in the UK don't really understand the nature of 50/50 house keeping? I know plenty of women who are tired of policing their sloppy husbands and since they have jobs, just decided to get out.

flannelbug

"“Maybe it’s sometimes seen as a good thing to have very clear roles with lots of clarity ... where one person is not stepping on the other’s toes,” he suggested."

Yes, because we all know how the women should stay in the kitchen, and the men should bring home the bacon. How silly. It looks like this article is trying to be non-biased by saying that lack of communication causes divorce, but phrases it in a way that suggests that women should stay at home and/or shoulder all domestic duties. Duties, jobs, responsibilities and communication should be EQUAL in relationships, and both men and women should be able to decide for themselves what they would like to do. Having someone shoulder all responsibility in one area just because they are male or female is detrimental if that's not what the person wants (or believes they must do), and that way of thinking needs to be examined with a critical eye.

Further suggestion that a woman's choice for doing less housework or sharing that with her partner increases the rate of divorce is ludicrous. Of course, it is always the woman's fault for not knowing her place (sarcasm). If someone wants to divorce you or leave you when you ask them to pick up the slack and equalize work needs to go back to How to Be a Decent Human Being 101.

DesireeLovesOrganic

I do all the kitchen stuff but he does pretty much everything else because he is anal and I'm a slob. Haha He's like "you seriously do not notice this?" Nope, I didn't, not until you just pointed it out. Relax! Haha He said I am like a bachelor. :P

Ok, that's a lie, I do the toilets/bathrooms too. He doesn't like me to do the laundry because I forget about it and then throw it in the dryer anyways and he says all his clothes "stink like *kitten*." Whoopsie! Somehow he's stuck around for going on 14 years of marriage so it can't be that horrible to live with his "bachelor" wife.

Just put out a lot, then you never have to do anything. (I'm only sort of kidding.)

believe22

That's because no matter how many times he does the dishes, he doesn't put them in the dishrack the right way!!!!!

Ha! Exactly.
Even if he pitches in, I've still got to go behind him and do everything the right way. I guess I'm old fashioned in the sense that I believe the man should be the bread winner and the wife takes care of the house & her husband.

randomtai

I do all the kitchen stuff but he does pretty much everything else because he is anal and I'm a slob. Haha He's like "you seriously do not notice this?" Nope, I didn't, not until you just pointed it out. Relax! Haha He said I am like a bachelor. :P

Ok, that's a lie, I do the toilets/bathrooms too. He doesn't like me to do the laundry because I forget about it and then throw it in the dryer anyways and he says all his clothes "stink like *kitten*." Whoopsie!

Just put out a lot, then you never have to do anything. (I'm only sort of kidding.)

Lmfao :laugh: This is soo true..

anneerick

In my marriage I do everthing.... I mean everything. I work full time at an equally paid job as him. I do all the household chores, run the kids places, cook, finances, grocery shop, everything..... and still have the energy for some great sexy time.
AND I have no issues with any of it. I do not keep score.
Why?
Cause the man treats me like gold. Everyday (usually more then once) I am told I am beautiful, I am reminded in so many ways that he loves and cherises me on a daily basis. He chases me around claiming he can't keep his hands off me. He treats me exactly the way I need to be treated in order to feel the best about myself.

I believe marriage is different for every couple. How it works for them may not work for the next two. Do what makes the other person happy and they will do in return.

I don't have to be my husband's maid to get this kind of treatment.

In our marriage, I can't say that it's split 50/50, but we both have our chores. He does all the cooking, vehicle maintenance, and yard work. I do all the cleaning (house, laundry, dishes). I work a lot more hours than him since I'm a grad student, so when I get really behind on things he helps me out.

I'm not saying that if I stopped all my efforts, he would stop all his, if I leave the dishes...he still loves me. lol. I'm saying that this works for us. I'm not the type of personality to stop, I don't enjoy hours of couch time. He's lazy and I love attention, its a combo that works...

california_peach

I am a stay at home mom. I do all the housework, all the cooking, most of the yard work and the lions share of the child rearing. My husband takes out the trash on occasion (but the won't for some reason break down boxes or anything of that nature, so either I do it or it sits in the yard forever) and he mows lawn a couple of times a month. For the most part I do most of the above things because he simply has no idea HOW to do things like yard work or clean a toilet or wash a dish. This is not snark, he was raised in a environment where they had maids and gardeners, etc. He had similar help right up until we got married and once we were married he not longer need all that help because he had me. He's perfectly happy. I'm ****ing exhausted.

Topsking2010

In my marriage I do everthing.... I mean everything. I work full time at an equally paid job as him. I do all the household chores, run the kids places, cook, finances, grocery shop, everything..... and still have the energy for some great sexy time.
AND I have no issues with any of it. I do not keep score.
Why?
Cause the man treats me like gold. Everyday (usually more then once) I am told I am beautiful, I am reminded in so many ways that he loves and cherises me on a daily basis. He chases me around claiming he can't keep his hands off me. He treats me exactly the way I need to be treated in order to feel the best about myself.

I believe marriage is different for every couple. How it works for them may not work for the next two. Do what makes the other person happy and they will do in return.

Well said!!!!


Do you have sister that is single? LOL!!!

jamaljohar

religion and culture have no play here.. man goes out to work woman stays home, man returns home and has to work? totally unfair share of the total workload.

if both worked then 50% of the housework is fair

deenaspell

Maybe these couples should be doing less housework and more.....bow chicka wow wow

HAHAHA!

gingerjen7

One more reason to never get married.

Elf_Princess1210

just remember this is also where the knives are kept

JNick77

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/9572187/Couples-who-share-the-housework-are-more-likely-to-divorce-study-finds.html

Couples who share the housework are more likely to divorce, study finds
Divorce rates are far higher among “modern” couples who share the housework than in those where the woman does the lion’s share of the chores, a Norwegian study has found. In what appears to be a slap in the face for gender equality, the report found the divorce rate among couples who shared housework equally was around 50 per cent higher than among those where the woman did most of the work.

Discuss

I didn't mind splitting house-work with my wife. If we would've had more time and fun in the bedroom and had more fun in-general together that would've helped save us.

Jes_ika

I am a stay at home mom so I do all the house work and cook all the time unless there is something to cook on the grill then the hubby does it. I also do everything for the kids, take care of any finances, and do all the shopping for the house. I have no problem with it either. I like my system if someone else does it then it it gets messed up. I don't think my husband should should have to clean up he the one that makes the $$.

_VoV

This sounds like a biased study. Couples where each person works full-time would tend to agree to a 50-50 split on house and yard work. It only seems fair if they are both committed to roughly the same number of working hours outside the home. But, the fact that they both work makes divorce more of a possibility because, at least in principle, each partner could be self-supporting.

jeannicoleau

I am very fortunate in that my husband LOVES to do the housework. Is a bit OCD so I let him enjoy. Since I work outside the home I am VERY appreciative at night and have the enrgy to do so. Works great for us. :-)

dbguinn1980

Another silly story reminding us that there are lies, damned lies and then there are statistics (Mark Twain). For me it seems that when my wife of 26 years is more receptive to horizontal exercise its usually when I've vacuumed, cleaned, done the dishes, cooked- or any combination thereof.

MassiveDelta

I am a stay at home mom. I do all the housework, all the cooking, most of the yard work and the lions share of the child rearing. My husband takes out the trash on occasion (but the won't for some reason break down boxes or anything of that nature, so either I do it or it sits in the yard forever) and he mows lawn a couple of times a month. For the most part I do most of the above things because he simply has no idea HOW to do things like yard work or clean a toilet or wash a dish. This is not snark, he was raised in a environment where they had maids and gardeners, etc. He had similar help right up until we got married and once we were married he not longer need all that help because he had me. He's perfectly happy. I'm ****ing exhausted.

Sounds like he doesnt know what he has.

DesireeLovesOrganic

religion and culture have no play here.. man goes out to work woman stays home, man returns home and has to work? totally unfair share of the total workload.

if both worked then 50% of the housework is fair

Are there kids involved here because that makes it totally different. If you are home with kids you are working your *kitten* off. "Mama, mama, mama, mama." You can't even pee without them following you around. My husband was laid off for a month last year (I am self employed so I booked more jobs when he was laid off) and he was like "Are you kidding me? This is horrible, If I don't get a job soon, I am going to kill myself." Ha! Now it's reversed, he is working more and I am barely working but now the kids are in school so I try to do more. ORRRR at least do a "mad dash rush" 20 mins before he comes home to make it look like I at least did something all day. :P

quietasariot

I prefer to do *most* of the chores because my husband isn't that great at them, but he DOES help out whenever I ask.

When he was in the USMC and working upwards of 15 hours a day (sometimes less, sometimes more) I didn't expect or want him to do much - take the trash out and very rarely, help fold laundry. I figured he was working his butt off that many hours a week - and my job was a stay at home mom - so I didn't expect help with MY job.

Now we are both full time students and he works part time, so he still doesn't do as much as I do around the house, but he's learned to do more since becoming a civilian. Another thing: I don't know if this is ALL men, but mine needs to be told exactly what has to be done. He doesn't think about the dishes in the sink or the clothes in the basket. If I have to tell him, that's fine. Nobody is a mind reader, y'all.

He is also the sweetest, kindest, most caring man I've ever met and like some others have posted, treats me like a queen. If he were a jerk, it'd probably bother me to do housework .

juicy_cat

I work, he works and we earn the same. Through choice we have no children and the chores are shared...he cooks more than I do because he likes it and is better at it. I clean the toilet more than he does because I don't mind doing it to make up for the fact I don't cook so much...if we fancy a change about we discuss it...like grown ups...it's all good in our house.... :-)

If I did not work and he did...I'd keep house...happily...

bsuzanne88

We both work but I do the majority, nevermind that...I do ALL the housework. I do it because I can get it done faster and easier and more efficient. I like it that way.

Busymomshantell

I was raised down South and was raised with the wife takes care of the house/kids/hubby values. Been married almost 20 years and plan to have a lifetime of years to come, have 3 awesome kids and I do all the housework, cooking, packing lunches, laundry, taking care of kids and hubby and...I spend the money. Hubby works long hours and pays the bills. Works fine since I am a stay home mom - but I was royally pissed when I worked outside the home and still had to do it all.

majikmiker

It totally depends on the couple I think. My wife and I have our own areas in the house, and we tend to stick to those things. She washes the laundry, I fold it (mainly because I like the towels folded a certain way, lol), I do all the grocery shopping and cooking, she looks after the kids lunches and the dog, I clean my bathroom, she does hers. Our kids also have their own chores. I don't ever grab a load of laundry to put it on, just like she doesn't just decide to cook. We've been married for 15 years and it's just the way we do things.

I don't have a cultural or religious objection to divorce, but I do have a moral objection to it. I think people now are too quick to give up on a relationship, and in the end it's kids that suffer (if there are kids in the relationship). If, as a divorced couple, you can work out an amiable relationship with the other parent, then that's great. It still is going to cause hardship and confusion in a child, even if the parents get along afterwards. But hey, I don't have a study to back me up, so don't go by what I have to say I guess.

I guess that's why some people are having their vows changed to "As long as our love shall last", which I heard at the last wedding I was at. That way it leaves their options open. :brokenheart: :sad: :huh:

ArielBold

No.

And that's all I have to say.

Powerful argument. 10/10

fishgutzy

When my wife was working as a middle school teacher I did a lot of the cooking and a huge part of the cleaning. Teaching is not a 6 hour a day job. For good teachers it is also 3 to 4 hours a day of correcting papers and lesson prep.
Now that she is a full time mom, she does 95% of the cooking, the kids do a lot of the cleaning and she does the laundry.
I do all the heavy lifting.
We are happier and live better now on a single income than we did with both of us working. It helped that we moved out of a high tax high cost of living state.
I suspect that the stress in "splitting work" comes from one party constantly believing the other isn't doing their "share."
My wife "cooks." I throw stuff in a pan or on the grill.
My wife does laundry. I throw the clothes in the washer.
Starting October 1, for two weeks my kids will have to suffer my version of cooking because my wife is flying down to AZ for two weeks to help my mother after her hip replacement surgery.
My wife is still my fantasy girl. :bigsmile:
If more husbands saw their wives this way there would be less divorce too.