Do "all men" secretly have a thing for their "female friend"

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Replies

  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    Also, on the topic of "we're just not into each other that way," if there is any physical attraction at all between you, you will sleep together at some point. You wouldn't be friends with someone you didn't enjoy being around, so yes, you are each other's "type" already. The only question is physical. Do you find each other attractive? If so, and you think you aren't "into each other that way," you're living in denial.

    I think this is wrong. Here's why:

    First - it makes the supposition that you are only friends with people who are your "type." I don't see this as being true. I have friends that I would never date (male if they were female, as well as females). Because they are only my friend, I can easily overlook someone who is always late, or backs out of plans, or smokes, or sleeps around - because those things do not matter to me and my friendship with them. If we were dating, it those things would clearly matter (some more than others).

    Second - it makes the supposition that you cannot see someone as attractive without being attracted to them. I think that to be attracted to someone, you have to like the way they look as well as be attracted to who they are -- which goes back to the first point i made about friends and not being invested in some character flaws and while their appearance may be attractive, i may not be attracted to them because of those other flaws.

    3. It makes the assumption that you cannot be attracted to someone you are close to without having sex with them. Actually, it is possible to RESIST your desire and say NO despite an attraction and admiration for the person in question.
  • RobfromLakewood
    RobfromLakewood Posts: 684
    Not all men. I had a female roommate for 7 years. She was cute, fun to be with, but never the slightest chemistry. We both met our future spouses while we were roommates and went off to live with them. We are still great friends and I know my wife and her husband KNOW nothing would ever go on between us, we're just buds for life.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    I secretly have a thing for all of my male friends. All of them. Every last one.

    *sigh* Clearly I'm a creep, a perv and no man will ever want me. :sad:

    Like I said above...seems 100% natural to me. You already like them as people, that's supposed to be the core of relationships. If you are physically attracted to them, whey the heck wouldn't you get a little thing for them?

    True Steve...very true.....(forum stalking again) :tongue:
  • flatbellybella
    flatbellybella Posts: 303 Member
    Lol @ 8 pages later
  • Cese27
    Cese27 Posts: 626 Member
    If u were my friend,hell yeah
  • Justkeepswimmin
    Justkeepswimmin Posts: 777 Member
    I have a very good male friend. I dont think he has a thing for me. He jokes alot about it, but I think its only that, jokes.

    It isn't. He is masking it, making light of it.

    Yeah....behind every joke is a slight truth.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    I secretly have a thing for all of my male friends. All of them. Every last one.

    *sigh* Clearly I'm a creep, a perv and no man will ever want me. :sad:

    Like I said above...seems 100% natural to me. You already like them as people, that's supposed to be the core of relationships. If you are physically attracted to them, whey the heck wouldn't you get a little thing for them?

    :love: :drinker:
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,412 Member
    can't speak for any guys out there but I am perfectly comfortable having a male friend with no hidden physical agenda. I believe I have had several over the years.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    For the most part, yes.
  • Tony_Brewski
    Tony_Brewski Posts: 1,376 Member
    I have a very good male friend. I dont think he has a thing for me. He jokes alot about it, but I think its only that, jokes.

    Yup he does. He's just using humor to cover up his true feelings on it. Its a defence scheme for him. If he laughs about it and you laugh with him he doesnt get hurt but if he was to be serious about it and you rejected him he'd be devisated. So therefor he uses humor to shield his true feelings and not get hurt.
  • tajmel
    tajmel Posts: 401 Member
    I have mostly male friends. I'm married, and most of them have girlfriends. I've had a few friends in the past few years who were out of line - flirty, handsy, or made outright overtures - and those men are no longer my friends. Some people can handle having opposite gendered friends, some can't.
  • klacount77
    klacount77 Posts: 270 Member
    For the interest of science, I had sex with all my male friends. Now the need is gone.

    ^^This!
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
    Did you ever see "When Harry Met Sally"? You should.
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
    Did you ever see "When Harry Met Sally"? You should.

    So, you're saying you could be friends with a female if she was not attractive?

    Nope, you pretty much wanna nail them too.
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
    I am very close friends with a lot of guys... we talk about other women on the regular, and almost all of my guy friends make their intentions very clear. If they want a piece, they ask for it, and if they don't ask, they really don't want it.
  • farfoorah
    farfoorah Posts: 168
    No but I wanna **** all my male friends.....
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    As Chris Rock put it..."Men don't have platonic friends...we just have women we haven't fu@ked yet"
  • Shrinking_Xtina
    Shrinking_Xtina Posts: 478 Member
    It is pretty much a fact that men do not have true female friends unless they are somewhat attracted to them or intrigued by them. Guys often deny it, but they inevitably develop feelings.

    Agreed.
  • NormalSaneFLGuy
    NormalSaneFLGuy Posts: 1,344 Member
    It is pretty much a fact that men do not have true female friends unless they are somewhat attracted to them or intrigued by them. Guys often deny it, but they inevitably develop feelings.

    Agreed.

    Disagreed.

    I think it depends on how the friendship starts.

    IF a guy randomly picks a girl, then I agree.

    But say you meet a girl at work (coworker), you can totally become friends without ever having wanted anything beyond friends.
  • citygirl04
    citygirl04 Posts: 286 Member
    Have no idea
  • Palio75
    Palio75 Posts: 72
    Ofcourse, I dont think many guys are friends with girls they wouldn't sleep with
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    WTF! I went through this whole thread to see if fcp1234 got a reply from her friend about the "thing" what a waste of time, god damn cliff hangers!
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    Oh and to answer the question, it depends on how hot you are or how sexual you are. But if you are hot or sexual, a male friend who is single and young, he will pounce on it given the chance.
  • citygirl04
    citygirl04 Posts: 286 Member
    Ofcourse, I dont think many guys are friends with girls they wouldn't sleep with
    For the most part I have to agree with you. I have a guy friend who's just that. He's always trying to get me to hook him up with my friends though. lol I had another friend about a year ago, pretended to be my bff and when I said I wouldn't sleep with him he was my fair weathered friend.
  • moseler
    moseler Posts: 224 Member
    my bff of life is male. he has been there thru thick n thin with me, since i was 13 and im now 28. BUT...there was a big huge love confession about 8 yrs into our freindship. we stopped talking for a long time after that. apparently everyone was privy to this info, but i was completly blind to it. we started talking again after almost one year...we know we're only friends...we kissed once when we were 15, lol, its neve gone any further than that, and we've even slept in the same bed together 100x. im sure if i handed it out to him he would take it, but that aint gonna happen, lol. we're just besties for life :D
    You selfish BIT@H

    ^This! Hahahahaha!
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
    well, ib dont think anyone here can actuly say what ALL men feel, they can only speak for themselves. I disagree tht all men feel this, and no one can say it is a fact because i do not feel this.
  • Amo_Angelus
    Amo_Angelus Posts: 604 Member
    Interesting question. I want to say that yes, it is possible for guys to have female friends without crushing over them but...than I thought about it. I've always been one of the guys, practically all of my friends are male (There's only one real exception) and...out of all of them, through all the years, Only one has never confided that he's had a thing for me. Of course, the ones who have admitted it have either made a move on me or been drunk at the time lol, the rest have only admitted it after our relationship has moved from being geographically close to being internet friends. Which now makes me question the one male friend who never admitted it...and thus my whole circle of friends! Damn you for such a puzzling thread lol No, I'm going to hope that men can have female friends without wanting them physically...
  • Off10h8ed
    Off10h8ed Posts: 282 Member
    I keep life simple... I don't have friends. I have acquaintances. That is all.
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
    so reminds me of -
    Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
    Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
    Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
    Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
    Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
    Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
    No.
    For someone that isn't great at finding girlfriends, I tend to keep a fair few female friends I have no 'interest' in.
    But generally I do tend to be quite 'picky' unfortunately.

    Conversely I know women that given the opportunity would and have got in to bed with a lot of their male friends and one point or another.

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