Do "all men" secretly have a thing for their "female friend"

ItsCasey

Also, on the topic of "we're just not into each other that way," if there is any physical attraction at all between you, you will sleep together at some point. You wouldn't be friends with someone you didn't enjoy being around, so yes, you are each other's "type" already. The only question is physical. Do you find each other attractive? If so, and you think you aren't "into each other that way," you're living in denial.

RikanSoulja

Depends on what you mean by "have a thing for" a female friend. I think pretty much all straight men (there may be rare exceptions) decide pretty much as soon as they meet a woman whether or not they would sleep with her. It's just what men do. But knowing that you WOULD sleep with a woman doesn't mean you can't be just friends with her. To me, having a "thing" for someone means wanting to have a romantic relationship with them, and that is not the same thing as being willing to sleep with them if the opportunity presented itself (not for men, anyway).

But if I'm dating a guy and the only friends he's introduced me to are women, I think one of three things: other guys don't want to be around him because he's secretly an *kitten*, he's trying to make me jealous, or he loves being fawned over by women and is just trying to add me to his harem. In any case, I'm hitting the road. I just don't think it's normal.

A harem would be a dream come true. Variety is the spice of life is it not?

trojanbb

I am worried about all the men here!!! and even more so for there female friends!!!

I'm worried about you. Either you are trying to be the "sweet guy" and lying or you are in denial. There is a third possibility....have you had your hormone levels checked recently? Not all men are actually men in the natural sense.

..............


*blink*

it's actually a serious matter. low testosterone causes a host of mental problems, depression, low sex drive, lack of confidence...in addition to the obvious physical changes. Millions of young men are affected.

GeekGirl23

I have a wee crush on pretty much all hot males I know....and some not so hot ones....Id never act on them but Im only human if they look good I am gonna wanna LOL

My husband and I have an understanding... we can both look all we want but we know where our bread is buttered... at home with each other. Infact most of the time that's what gets us going and keeps our spark very much alive... he understands I am a HUGE flirt and need to be able to do so to breathe hahaha.

jennday1

I don't think so because we innately view the friendships differently. Men are genetically driven to spread their genes but women aren't like that. This article came out today and makes some very valid and interesting points. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/23/platonic-friends-men-women_n_2005709.html

KittieLea

I'm afraid I might get raped.

_Bob_

I have several "hot" friends that I would never hook up with if I was given the chance. And I have been given the chance and thought nothing of it. I'm good with the girl I've got.

when I was single I hung out with some "hot" girls that I didn't what to sleep with. I just thought they were fun, and fun to cuddle with . turns out some of them thought I was gay and were a little angry with me when I got married. one even slapped me for not taking advantage of her when she threw herself at me. I guess she made up her mind that the only reason I could turn her down is I must be gay.

so yeah, not all guys are like that. some of us are weird

I'm sorry to be the one to have to tell you this but you are in fact gay. You were single and hung out with hot girls who wanted to sleep with you and you didn't. 1) Look in Websters, thats the definition of gay 2) Hanging out with women in ANY CIRCUMSTANCE is not more fun than hanging out with guys unless its for sex. End of story.

Oh I brought the guys too, I was in charge of bringing the girls. oh and I might be old fashioned but I had a rule that I somehow stuck with even when I was drunk. I would never have sex with a girl that I wouldn't marry. somehow that made me second guess a lot of the girls I hung out with.

I must be one of those strange gay guys that feels no attraction towards other dudes. but if turning a girl down makes me gay then I guess that's me gay and disease free :drinker:

I wonder how my wife is going to take the news. lol

gingerjen7

I once knew this guy who would have "female friends"

Were they like tranny prostitutes? Not really female and not really friends?

joselo2

I am worried about all the men here!!! and even more so for there female friends!!!

I'm worried about you. Either you are trying to be the "sweet guy" and lying or you are in denial. There is a third possibility....have you had your hormone levels checked recently? Not all men are actually men in the natural sense.

..............


*blink*

it's actually a serious matter. low testosterone causes a host of mental problems, depression, low sex drive, lack of confidence...in addition to the obvious physical changes. Millions of young men are affected.

funnily enough, most young men dont have had a hormone test... but i have!!! I had it because I asked for it because I was late in puberty, they said i am in the normal range for a man (that is i am biologically male!!), and sure enough i got there in the end! I am not trying to be a sweet guy, I AM a sweet guy! I would be the guy would turn down sex hahahaha if i thought it would spoilt/complicate a friendship,

trojanbb

I am worried about all the men here!!! and even more so for there female friends!!!

I'm worried about you. Either you are trying to be the "sweet guy" and lying or you are in denial. There is a third possibility....have you had your hormone levels checked recently? Not all men are actually men in the natural sense.

..............


*blink*

it's actually a serious matter. low testosterone causes a host of mental problems, depression, low sex drive, lack of confidence...in addition to the obvious physical changes. Millions of young men are affected.

funnily enough, most young men dont have had a hormone test... but i have!!! I had it because I asked for it because I was late in puberty, they said i am in the normal range for a man (that is i am biologically male!!), and sure enough i got there in the end! I am not trying to be a sweet guy, I AM a sweet guy! I would be the guy would turn down sex hahahaha if i thought it would spoilt/complicate a friendship,

lol, good! I was joking anyways. But ok, so you would turn down sex rather than complicate friendship. Good. But that means there is still some attraction there, yes? That is the question...are you attracted in some way to your female friends? Would you, given a perfect opportunity (as in if the friendship wouldn't be affected....obviously this is a utopia, but consider for arguments sake)...would you sleep with them?

penrbrown

I secretly have a thing for all of my male friends. All of them. Every last one.

*sigh* Clearly I'm a creep, a perv and no man will ever want me. :sad:

joselo2

Nope, there is no attraction there. i think they are beautiful, gorgeous and wonderful. But not sexually or otherwise attracted as such. But that is just me, i don't see my friends in that way, just like I think my sister is gorgeous but am not attracted to her, it always be like a unthinkable.

if it helps, the hormones test said at the time I was at the lower end of the testosterone spectrum.

BriskaPacojame

Gotta read later.... my best friend is a guy, considers me one of the guys and so do the rest of the guys we hang with. I think it would be gross if either one of us "liked" each other or considered sex.

jessepants

definitely gotta flip this question. it's pretty obvious what's on guys' minds but what are the girls with 'guy friends' thinking?

MisterGoodBar

I have several female friends who are nothing more than just friends. When I was single, I would still "smash" a few of them if the opportunity presented itself but in the end we were just friends.

this mostly. moszt situations arent unique. she can be a friedn and still get the D. women have to understand that just b/c we lay you, it doesnt we want to upgrade you. fun is fun. and sex is fun, doesnt change your status with us. men wanting to bone you isnt a sign that he likes you romantically, only that he's attracted you. if he likes you, he will let you know regardless of whether sex is involved. men dont think about things the way women do, dont hold us to that thought process and when we dont call us jerks us judge us b/c its unfair and a setup for failure. we're not women.

-2 cents

iAMsmiling

I secretly have a thing for all of my male friends. All of them. Every last one.

*sigh* Clearly I'm a creep, a perv and no man will ever want me. :sad:

Like I said above...seems 100% natural to me. You already like them as people, that's supposed to be the core of relationships. If you are physically attracted to them, whey the heck wouldn't you get a little thing for them?

WinnerVictorious

men and women becoming friends almost always has a hidden subtext of attraction, either from the man, the woman, or both.

it doesn't mean either of them has to act on it. it also doesn't mean that attraction has to always be there. over time, a genuine friendship can grow when the attraction wanes.

i think the reality is that men and women are drawn to each other, at first, by the desire to procreate.

there are always exceptions, such as lifelong friendships that started pre-puberty, or gay/straight friendships, etc.

however the beginning of the friendship usually has that subtext. being married or involved with another person has no effect on the attraction. even if you know it could never happen for whatever reasons, it doesn't prevent the mind from thinking about it.

if the relationship is heavy on the flirting from one side or both, i think it's a safe bet that the desire is there, even if played off as a joke.

wolverine66

Also, on the topic of "we're just not into each other that way," if there is any physical attraction at all between you, you will sleep together at some point. You wouldn't be friends with someone you didn't enjoy being around, so yes, you are each other's "type" already. The only question is physical. Do you find each other attractive? If so, and you think you aren't "into each other that way," you're living in denial.

I think this is wrong. Here's why:

First - it makes the supposition that you are only friends with people who are your "type." I don't see this as being true. I have friends that I would never date (male if they were female, as well as females). Because they are only my friend, I can easily overlook someone who is always late, or backs out of plans, or smokes, or sleeps around - because those things do not matter to me and my friendship with them. If we were dating, it those things would clearly matter (some more than others).

Second - it makes the supposition that you cannot see someone as attractive without being attracted to them. I think that to be attracted to someone, you have to like the way they look as well as be attracted to who they are -- which goes back to the first point i made about friends and not being invested in some character flaws and while their appearance may be attractive, i may not be attracted to them because of those other flaws.

Dad_of_3

As a married man I do not message females on my friend list but rarely. If I have something to say I say it publicly. I will hardly ever even private message the guys I am friends with.

My flirting is reserved for my wife and my wife alone. She's all the hotness I can handle, anyway! :blushing:

Feisty_Red

I sure hope so...*fingers crossed*