No Children - Lifestyle Choice

wanderinglight

I'm 41 and the only time I've ever wanted kids is at Christmas time, because I can't stand a quiet house on Christmas morning.

Pretty sure that's not enough of a reason.

(I do sometimes get scared about what will happen in my old age. My fiance is now dealing with his elderly parents and it makes me really question how to deal with that as you get older and have no-one to take care of you except each other).

LMT2012

I don't think it's an overstatement to say that more people have children the shouldn't than the other way around.

concordancia

I am 40. I thought I wanted kids for a while in my early twenties, cried it out when I hit 24 (no idea why that age) and have never looked back. When I was in my late twenties, my mother used to bug me. At some point in my early thirties, she started in, stopped herself and said "well, I guess you can get married first." She hasn't said much on the subject since. It might help that she has six grand kids only two hours away.

We bought a boat last year.
We drive 15 hours to see family, with only bathroom breaks.
We like to sleep in.

RoseRoiz

My husband and I waited 10 years before we had our babies, we were very young when we got married and we wanted for our children to have a nice life. I love my girls so much and I'd do anything for them. If people do not want to have kids then that is their choice, what ever makes them happy.

pudadough

You know what I think is weird? People who can't see your point of view on this.

For me, it's not optional. I will have children whether it be biologically or through adoption or both. By myself or married. But then, I have always felt a strong maternal desire. I think it's because I feel it so strongly that I can completely see how someone would feel JUST as strongly in the opposite direction. It makes perfect sense to me even though I don't feel that way myself. Basically, it's not hard to know intrinsically where you stand on this. Most people feel very strongly one way or the other and don't need "convincing." If you know, you know, as they say.

If you are happy with the way you have arranged your life, then who gives a rip what others think of it? Like I said, makes sense to me.

nostripewhite

I had absolutely no desire to have children whatsoever. I have two Nieces and a Nephew whom I adore. Then my girlfriend became pregnant, and the little ****er started kicking me from inside her stomach. I love the little man now, I live for him. Best thing that has ever, or will ever happen to me.

My Aunt keeps asking me how many more. None. Didn't want this one, but can't imagine a world without him. She doesn't understand.

I get where everyone is coming from. Children are wonderful things, but not for everyone. Turns out this little guy is for me.

amandapye78

I have kids but could absolutely see why someone wouldn't want kids ( maybe its because they are teenagers and I'm starting to wonder about my choice lol) I think not having kids if you dont want them to be a good and unselfish choice.

BellaFe

I have 6, good for all of you that don't want kids. Don't get me wrong I adore my babies but my life is not my own nor will it ever be again. Enjoy they freedom.

BrokenAlice

Really happy to find this thread.

I'm childfree - sterilized! - 38 years old and HAPPY! Would love to have more friends on MFP who are childfree. Please feel free to add me as a friend. I used MFP a lot last year and had some great success. I took a bit of a hiatus and a bunch of my "friends" have gone. Would love some new supporters and meet more like-minded people

Alice

girlygirl761

I'm 36 and childfree and I really hate when people tell me that I'll regret it one day. Isn't it better to regret NOT having children than to HAVE them and regret it?

DamnImASexyBitch

My husband never had biological children of his own. It was his choice. He had been married previously, and he didn't want to have kids with her. By the time we got together, he was already what he felt too old, plus I already had two small kids and neither of us wanted to "start all over again". I think some people are just not meant to have kids, and there is NOTHING wrong with that. I thank my lucky stars he was smart enough not to have children with his ex ( well any of them but specifically his ex wife ). It's hard enough with my ex in the picture, and I couldn't imagine adding another. I really am hoping that he will go get a vasectomy asap. Happy birthday to me!

Erin_goBrahScience

My husband and I do not plan on having kids. Yes my mother is disapointed, as is his mother but they don't have to raise them. I thought it was a phase that once I was 30 I would want them. Now I'm 34 and married, and the idea of having children is just not appealing.

Don't get me wrong, almost all of my friends have children and I am even planning two baby showers in the next three months. I love kids, just not for me. My life plan has hopefully a nice upward swing to my career in the next few years.

InsaneShalaine

I hate kids too.

LetsMakeupXtina

I am only 28.. but I am on the fence about having kids.. I always have been... I have my days that I think maybe i want them, and I have my days where I don't. Not sure if it will ever happen for me, but the fact that I am so wishy-washy about it tells me I am definitely not ready for it right now. Who knows what will happen.. but I definitely think you can be happy and live a fulfilled life with no kids

dawnna76

I have a cousin that chose not to have children, she is 40ish and very happy with her choice. Parenting is extremely hard and I never wanted to do it. But I did change over time and decided to start a family with my husband. But I will admit that I find it to be the most difficult thing to do. I love my children and would die for them but I struggle with being a great parent and teaching all that they need to flourish in life. I sometimes think if I made the right decision and would I have been better off. Both my sons have developmental delays and I sometimes feel like its more than I can handle.

So I guess no it's not selfish to not have children, do what's right for you.

hearthemelody

So nice not to feel alone!

iLoveMyPitbull1225

I think ill be stating the extremely obvious here but.....

WHO CARES?! don't have kids if you don't wanna have kids. F*** what people think, there will always be haters. It's not for everyone. Neither is cooking, or soccer. Or cocaine. Whatever.

Certain types of people on this planet shouldn't even be allowed to reproduce. But hey thats my opinion

SlimSammy2012

I always love it when your "friends" ask, "who's gonna take care of you when you are old?" Talk about selfish? Just Say'n.

terrappyn

I'm 31 and I still do not want children. People keep saying that I will change my mind and haven't yet.

Ge0rgiana

I'm 35 and child free by choice. I always joke that my biological clock needs batteries.

XXXMinnieXXX

I love my step kids, neices and nephews but I don't feel I want kids myself. I'm 27. All my family are popping them out... But I'm not feeling it!

_SusieQ_

41 years old, married for almost 20 years. I went through a period in my early 20s that I thought I wanted them, but timing just didn't seem right. Now I know it was fate/karma/whatever b/c I sooooooo don't want kids. I love my nieces and nephews, they satisfy any maternal urges that RARELY pop up.

I don't want the responsibility of another person (I have enough of that with the giant child I married), I like doing what I want when I want. I have no desire to deal with another human 24/7. Some people call that selfish, but frankly I think it's irresponsible to have children b/c society dictates it the thing to do, or you feel like you are "supposed to". And I have a lot of friends who fall into those categories.

forgtmenot

I do definitely want children, to the point that I sometimes stress about dying young in a tragic car accident or something and never having had children. I feel as though it is one of my life purposes. I get that other people don't feel that way though and I respect their decision not to have any. Being a parent isn't for everyone and there are plenty of people out there who did have children and probably shouldn't have because they were awful parents.

latitude35

I just had my 3rd, just shy of my 39th birthday. I think it's the same decision for everyone - when do i stop having kids? For some people they have 1 - and they know they are DONE. For some couples it's 2, and they are DONE. For me I knew I wanted a 3rd, but now there is no doubt - I'M DONE!

And then for some, they don't have to have kids, they just know - they are already done. Everyone makes the same choice, but the number is just different, 0, 1, 2, 3, etc.

MrsPong

I don't think its selfish.
I got pregnant young and married young. We have one daughter who is 4. We don't want more kids and everyone tells me I'll change my mind because I'm young. But I don't know if I will... I gave up alot to have her at 20...and now I'm finally growing into myself.

quietHiker

I don't want kids (age 26)....but I've never been that girl who "oohs and awws" over a baby in a store or the baby of a fellow church member. I love my niece and nephew to death though

Plus...I'm dating a man who already has kids (ages 13, 15, 16...I think lol), and they're amazing. I love them with my whole heart, and didn't have to go through all of the early stages of mothering lol...I just don't think I'd have it in me...

anneerick

I think that the people who are smart enough to realize that they do not want children and then don't have children are doing the world a great service. It's the people who have six and never wanted them to begin with that I take issue with.

coolraul07

I've known several people who made a conscious decision to not have children... and I have the utmost respect for them realizing what was right for them and not bowing to societal pressure otherwise. Conversely, I know several people that I believe never wanted children but had them anyway and neglected them. They'll never admit it out loud, but I think that got peer-pressured into having kids and took it out on them. The planet is NOT for lack of humans, so I don't think it's anything to worry about in general. My main concern is for couples that either aren't on the same page in the beginning OR one changes their mind midway through and thinks that their SO will automatically do so as well. I'm oversimplifying it, but I believe that if both say 'no' in the beginning and one changes to 'yes', then the answer is still 'no'. I feel that unless both sides say (and mean) 'yes', they shouldn't have kids. So be sure that you know how you feel.
On the other hand, Japan is seriously concerned about their negative population growth. I remember reading this article last year (link below) where Japan is projecting that their last birth will occur "...in 3011 and the Japanese people potentially disappearing a few generations later."
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/05/11/lack-babies-could-mean-extinction-japanese-people/

CM9178

I'm 34 years old and married, and we are not having kids. I have never wanted kids and never, ever will.
I have absolutely no desire to be a parent, and I don't care if people think it is selfish of us - because in a way, I AM being selfish, because I want to enjoy my life the way it is without kids. Oh, and I don't like kids either. 95% are annoying and the rest are cute, but I still wouldn't want them.

CM9178

I don't want the responsibility of another person (I have enough of that with the giant child I married), I like doing what I want when I want. I have no desire to deal with another human 24/7. Some people call that selfish, but frankly I think it's irresponsible to have children b/c society dictates it the thing to do, or you feel like you are "supposed to". And I have a lot of friends who fall into those categories.

I completely agree.