So at what weight do women actually respond to a guy?

joyfuljoy65

You're walking up to the wrong girls.

iceqieen

You're walking up to the wrong girls.

this

WeekndOVOXO

It's not the weight. It's you.

Weight has a lot to do with attraction.

Interesting.

I had no trouble getting women at 315. It appears I have more trouble now, because it's perceived I am cocky or unapproachable.

Cockiness has a lot to do with it . Once guys start getting more ripped they seem to lose the intellectual side and rely heavily on their looks to get women.

But a direct quote from your page, "The real reason is I was turned down by a girl, who in which I was trying to talk to at the time. She said point blank, "You can't be serious. You're way too (colorful metaphor) fat to be even seen out in public with me."

You think if you weren't healthier you'd had that problem? Weight has a lot to do with attraction. Once that issue has been solved, different types of women start to show up. Women that were once turning you down.

And it depends on the guys standard in women.

Edit: Congrats on the weight loss btw, look like a beast.

VanessaHeartsMasr

You're walking up to the wrong girls.

This. I've dated guys who were 400 pounds and I've dated guys who were 125 pounds.

iceqieen

My honest feeling is I'm going to end up going to pro's eventually. It just seems like that's what I'm going to get stuck with. Now if one of them rejects me that might be considered hitting bottom lol.

if you are projecting this when walking up to a girl, ofcourse she will reject you. self pitty is not desirable.. movies make it work but in real life you are better off believing you do deserve and that you can accomplish.

capriciousmoon

Your weight doesn't matter if you have a good personality. The only guys I don't like are ones that talk to me based on looks and have nothing in common with me. Most of the guys I have dated were overweight/obese. If the girl doesn't give you a chance because of your weight, she wasn't worth your time anyway.

1Kristine1

So I've determined a lot of women on this site are OK with big guys but all the ones I meet in real life aren't. And as I've said a milllllllion times walking up to a woman takes confidence. Maybe you ladies would agree more if you didn't get approached so much, I dunno. That's the biggest problem I think. You're "job" as far as meeting men is so incredibly easy. It pretty much totally consists of shooting down guys until you decide one has enough of whatever it is you're looking for. It's a real shame.

I never get approached...I dont think it happens as much as you think. Besides you automatically fail if you dont try, right?

pikanchi

Firstly, MASSIVE KUDOS to the (sadly, very few) posters who mentioned that different people are attracted to different things. My faith in humanity has been somewhat restored, so thanks for that.

Having said which, there are a LOT of really unpalatable posts on this thread, including the OP's. Treating all women as if they're the same; as if there's one thing we all find attractive (be it a certain weight, hairstyle, build, age, height, etc) is massively insulting. Take the replies stating things like: 'fat women are nicer than skinny ones' (No, they're not! Some are, some aren't, but you cannot generalise like that!) and 'women like confidence, but hate arrogance' (Who the hell are you to tell me what I like? I happen to LOVE arrogance!). Wow. Just, wow. *slow-hand clap*

To the OP: My genuine advice would be to try - and bear with me here - approaching someone you like the look of as an individual, because you want to chat to them, to get to know them, without the underlying motivation of a getting laid. Approaching a woman because you've lost some weight so now she has no reason to turn you down is an incredibly unattractive attitude, and I would suggest that it's that rather than anything at all to do with what you weigh that is your problem.

if you have a hot body and are a douche, you will still be lonely.

^^^^^ Yeah, basically this. ^^^^^

All of this, tbh. Since dropping down to 125lbs, I've had more guys approaching me -- when I'm out shopping, when I'm out on a run (dude, seriously? It was flattering and all, but I was in the middle of a run. I stopped only because he was a cyclist and I thought he wanted directions.) On the other hand, I, personally am not a fan of just being approached and asked out in the middle of the goddamn street. That's not what I go for; I prefer a bit of a conversation, a bit of ~getting to know each other~ time -- this isn't an issue if I'm at an event or a gig where there's an obvious common interest at play and the conversation is flowing as a result, but just having someone come up to me and offer nothing more than a 'hi, you look good, want to grab coffee (or whatever)' doesn't really endear me to someone. Mindless dating isn't something I'm interested in, and that's the vibe I generally get from guys who just approach me -- especially as it happens now that I'm slim and fit. Why was I not approached before? Shallowness. Lambaste women for it all you like, men are the same (you know, while we're generalising here.)

But yeah, all I'd say is that whilst in some respects you may be approaching the wrong girls, you've got to think about how you're coming across, where you're doing it -- and I don't simply mean confidence, because yes, okay, you have 'the confidence' to approach a girl, but if you don't appear at ease with yourself, that's going to be a turn off straight away. But most important, you need to think about why. If there seems to be even a hint of desperation, of 'settling', then that's going to be seriously insulting. 'I'm approaching you because I want to date someone' versus 'I'm approaching you because x/y/z interested me about you.' etc and so on.

But I'm sorry to say that a couple of your responses in this thread have given me the vibe of a Nice Guy -- someone that believes they're owed something for doing X activity. No, you're not owed anything. Yes, these girls are rude by turning away and ignoring you, but the act of rejection in and of itself is not rude. That's their choice. These girls/women know exactly what they want, and if they don't think you're it, then they are perfectly and equally entitled to say 'no'. No-one is owed a chance in dating; love and all its subsets are very personal. You've got some bitterness going on in your replies here -- perhaps understandably so -- and it'll show in person and in body language, as will your aforementioned cynicism about the whole thing, despite your apart firm belief that it won't.

Women are as much individuals as men. We are not some homogeneous group. Start remembering that. (And FTR, I personally think it's BS that it's the 'guys jobs to approach the girls'. Sexism, man. I have no time for it. In whatever respect.) And yes, of course appearance and attractiveness matters; the latter is subjective and personal, and if you're not attractive to someone in the first instance, without mutual interests to go on, they're not even going to contemplate giving you a chance. I wouldn't expect a bloke to give me a chance if he didn't find me attractive because, sry2say but attractiveness does play a part in relationships. Also, speaking from personal experience, if you feel attractive in and of yourself, that'll help. I'll hazard a guess and say you don't as the subject of this thread is 'at what weight do women respond to a guy?'

Also, I'll say that WeekndOVOXO has it down. Go read his comment on page 15 if you're still looking for tips.

AntWrig

It's not the weight. It's you.

Weight has a lot to do with attraction.

Interesting.

I had no trouble getting women at 315. It appears I have more trouble now, because it's perceived I am cocky or unapproachable.

After effects of many people losing weight...cockiness/arrogance is just a turn off, don't lose game my friend

Agreed. When the guys cocky, it doesn't matter what they look like.

I should have said, it's ASSUMED. I don't base my confidence on my looks.

AntWrig

It's not the weight. It's you.

Weight has a lot to do with attraction.

Interesting.

I had no trouble getting women at 315. It appears I have more trouble now, because it's perceived I am cocky or unapproachable.

Cockiness has a lot to do with it . Once guys start getting more ripped they seem to lose the intellectual side and rely heavily on their looks to get women.

But a direct quote from your page, "The real reason is I was turned down by a girl, who in which I was trying to talk to at the time. She said point blank, "You can't be serious. You're way too (colorful metaphor) fat to be even seen out in public with me."

You think if you weren't healthier you'd had that problem? Weight has a lot to do with attraction. Once that issue has been solved, different types of women start to show up. Women that were once turning you down.

And it depends on the guys standard in women.

Edit: Congrats on the weight loss btw, look like a beast.

Regarding the story....


Months later I found out the "girl" was a hating ex-gf. This whole conversation transpired over Myspace.

JosephVitte

To the contrary, and not speaking for all woman at all, but there are woman that like "cocky" guys. Say what you will, but there's some out there, or else those cocky guys would never get a girl/woman. The world is full of differently wonderful people with varying opinions, if not, this place would suck!:grumble:

jennifer_417

So I've determined a lot of women on this site are OK with big guys but all the ones I meet in real life aren't. And as I've said a milllllllion times walking up to a woman takes confidence. Maybe you ladies would agree more if you didn't get approached so much, I dunno. That's the biggest problem I think. You're "job" as far as meeting men is so incredibly easy. It pretty much totally consists of shooting down guys until you decide one has enough of whatever it is you're looking for. It's a real shame.

I never get approached...I dont think it happens as much as you think. Besides you automatically fail if you dont try, right?

Yeah, I never (and I really mean never) get approached, either. So my job really isn't so "easy." But, let me say, that getting bitter at all women isn't the answer, thinking how easy they have it, isn't the answer, either. Just go have a look at the "worst date" thread if you doubt what I'm saying.

cleanandlean2012

The girls are the wrong girls for you! It is not about weight, it is about character, humour, love and friendship. If they cannot get past the outward size to have a genuine conversation, then my response is that you will find someone who loves you for who you are. Hubby loves me as much when I was a size 22 as I am now a size 16 (ok, I do get a few cheeky wowsa comments now , but the essence of our relationship is so much more than that.

beattie1

After the disclaimer that I'm married and therefore don't count, personality is EVERYTHING. And I know some guys that I think are smoking hot at 6'1" and around 235-270ish.

I agree with this - some confidence (not too much!) and personality are what counts. Twinkling eyes help a lot too and a good smile. Chub counts a lot less.

1Kristine1

So I've determined a lot of women on this site are OK with big guys but all the ones I meet in real life aren't. And as I've said a milllllllion times walking up to a woman takes confidence. Maybe you ladies would agree more if you didn't get approached so much, I dunno. That's the biggest problem I think. You're "job" as far as meeting men is so incredibly easy. It pretty much totally consists of shooting down guys until you decide one has enough of whatever it is you're looking for. It's a real shame.

I never get approached...I dont think it happens as much as you think. Besides you automatically fail if you dont try, right?

Yeah, I never (and I really mean never) get approached, either. So my job really isn't so "easy." But, let me say, that getting bitter at all women isn't the answer, thinking how easy they have it, isn't the answer, either. Just go have a look at the "worst date" thread if you doubt what I'm saying.

(I was in that thread earlier...)
I have made plenty of first moves, I am afraid if i don't I will be forever alone. But I expect that the guy meet me halfway atleast. If I were to be approached I would smile and give the person a chance. However, at bars/clubs alot of guys have that "I just want to get into your pants" vibe going on. And that is SUCH a turn-off. Making it much more difficult for the average guy to be successful getting a number or whatever. We want to know that a guy is genuinely interested in us for quality reasons and not just because we have a vagina.

My advice would be to pursue co-ed hobbies like sports or social events where you are more likely to meet someone with the same interests.

dawndw

You're walking up to the wrong girls.

^^^^^

Aye

deksgrl

Don't know if she's willing to give you her number/ interested in you? Few things to look out for... Leaning towards you, starts asking you tons of questions, blushing, tone of voice, posture. You can go for the kill by getting close saying something, if she doesn't reject what you said go for a kiss. If she does reject you. Chin up. Sometimes even with all of these hints she could just be an attention *kitten* or a tease. There's more out there.

Going for a kiss, in the very first conversation with a girl? Oh, hell to the no. See prior comments about "creepy".

Again it's all about signs.

There are girls that are receptive to it and are fine. Hell, there are women that have one night stands at get go. And there are others that don't approve of it. It's just one way of figuring out if a girl is into you. Obviously a number works too. But these situations make a lot more sense when describing a party/club/bar environment IMO, if this is at a public bus stop, library, cafe shop, etc then obviously going for a kiss would just be silly.

Anyways, I applaud men that have the confidence to be ballsy.

I don't care what venue it is. In a party or club, a guy trying to kiss me when I just met him, even if he looks like Brad Pitt, is at the very least getting my drink thrown in his face. Very uncool.

tcunbeliever

It's not the weight. It's you.

Weight has a lot to do with attraction.

Guys who are awkward like to use that as an excuse. It's one of many cop-outs that just make them sound whiny and negative, which is probably part of the reason they ain't getting the ladies. At any rate, I'm sure it feels a lot better to blame your lack of game on women being shallow than on a personality defect of your own.

Guys who are overweight get turned down by all type of girls. No matter how much confidence you carry. I see it every damn time I'm in the club or I'm at a house party. A guy can have all the confidence in the world and he still gets shut down from his size. Attraction matters.

Awkwardness doesn't help at all though. Any guy who is awkward no matter what size will look like a complete fool unless that girl is a dork/timid/shy too.

All types of guys get turned down by all types of girls. Fat guys, skinny guys, poor guys, rich guys...most women are equal opportunity in the reject-the-advance department. Usually just because interruption is annoying. My girlfriends and I used to go to strip clubs if we just wanted to hang out and chat and have a few beers, because we couldn't go to a regular bar without spending the whole night trying to get rid of men that were interrupting our fun...and apparently if you are female in a strip club no man will ask you out on a date, no man will talk to you, no man will want to dance, no man will try to buy you a drink, you are outcast and it can be awesome!

If she has already rejected several other guys, she's probably just not interested in being picked up tonight...if no one is talking to her, you can be the first to shoot for rejection!!!

niamhclem21

bump

Nanaface1

You're walking up to the wrong girls.

Word.