So at what weight do women actually respond to a guy?

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  • korsicash
    korsicash Posts: 770 Member
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    Confidence, a sense of humor and a personality are way more important than weight. The 2nd ex husband was almost as round as tall and his weight never bothered me. The laziness and dope smoking got him kicked to the curb but never weight. You just are not talking to the right girls.
  • GraceEsther
    GraceEsther Posts: 37 Member
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    yeah, you're walking up to the wrong girls..
  • lalaCNSbFS
    lalaCNSbFS Posts: 83
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    @Weekndovoxo: i agree on what you said.Guys should take notes on that:P. Ha, you just described my favorite approach by a guy. A guy who is confident, but not overly confident. A guy who does not just talk about himself, tries to make small talk, remembers something you said, makes eye contact, subtle moves. Subtlety is the KEY. Even if the guy's intention is just to try and sleep with me:D, still the best approach.
  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
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    Don't know if she's willing to give you her number/ interested in you? Few things to look out for... Leaning towards you, starts asking you tons of questions, blushing, tone of voice, posture. You can go for the kill by getting close saying something, if she doesn't reject what you said go for a kiss. If she does reject you. Chin up. Sometimes even with all of these hints she could just be an attention *kitten* or a tease. There's more out there.

    Going for a kiss, in the very first conversation with a girl? Oh, hell to the no. See prior comments about "creepy".

    Again it's all about signs.

    There are girls that are receptive to it and are fine. Hell, there are women that have one night stands at get go. And there are others that don't approve of it. It's just one way of figuring out if a girl is into you. Obviously a number works too. But these situations make a lot more sense when describing a party/club/bar environment IMO, if this is at a public bus stop, library, cafe shop, etc then obviously going for a kiss would just be silly.

    Anyways, I applaud men that have the confidence to be ballsy.
  • Owsla135
    Owsla135 Posts: 350 Member
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    What kind of sense of humor does he have?
  • NocturnalGirl
    NocturnalGirl Posts: 1,762
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    Because clearly when I go up to a guy, I ask them to stand on a scale. Oh 201lbs? I'm sorry, 200 is my limit.. goodbye!
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    It's not the weight. It's you.
  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
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    It's not the weight. It's you.

    Weight has a lot to do with attraction.
  • DaisyHamilton
    DaisyHamilton Posts: 575 Member
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    Depends... Some girls are "chubby chasers" and some girls like extremely fit, muscles bulging.
    And then there are girls who like guys at any weight.
    I personally was with someone ~240 for 2 years. Better bear hugs from bigger guys! I think lower weight actually turns me off more. I like my men a little chubby.
  • WinWinGo
    WinWinGo Posts: 99 Member
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    men and woman tend to end up with where they are at in attractiveness.

    In other words, 10's tend to be with 10's.

    1's end up with 1's.

    There have been studies that verify this. So if you are a 5 going for a 10 it probably won't work... in general.

    Good luck and good hunting.
    How is that women are the only ones 'expecting men to be hot' but men don't think like that? OH REALLY?!!!!!!! Everybody wants to be attracted to the person they're kissing. And everyone has different ideas of what attracts them, as i'm sure you do yourself. If you aren't even getting responses on internet dating or in person, you are doing the following:

    * coming across as a weirdo or a sleaze or just a plain old douche. Has anyone ever accused of this before?
    * punching way above your weight
    * coming on way too strong
    * being too wussy
    OR
    * coming across as a man that doesn't like women. Cause that's how you're coming across now...
    Look, lets be honest here, although the person who walked away without acknowledging you is completely rude, yes, looks matter for first impressions. They matter for women, they matter for men, i'm sure you are not approaching people you find physically unattractive. I would also find it a little creepy if a random guy I know nothing about came up to me.
    You've had good advice about getting to know people first so they can judge you on your personality and vice versa, but you don't want to do that because you think if you get to know eachother you will be friend zoned.
    So you don't want people to be able to judge you on your personality before knowing if they are interested or not, and you are not worried about what their personality is like either, so you are the one who is making it neccesary for both parties to judge on first impressions (yes, looks).
    You've had heaps of good advice here, and shot it all down, if you want a girlfriend, take some of the advice and do something about it instead of being all woe is me for 10 more pages.

    You don't seem to be interested in the advice of any of the girls that tried to be nice, so I won't bother. I'll be cruel instead.

    Give up.
    I mean it. You think the cynicism you feel at this point doesn't show through, but people can smell it, and it negatively affects their opinion of you.
    If you're not planning on hitting fitness model status, give up.
    You're on a losing streak, so stop playing the game.
    That last quote I posted, pay special attention to it. They're right. You made this about looks, so now you have to look like a Greek God. Get there or give up.
    Alternatively, be rich and flaunt it. I have no other advice.
  • MrMeowGi
    MrMeowGi Posts: 171
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    Ensure you smell good and look neat, after this it all comes down to confidence, I can't hold a conversation with a woman for more than 5 minutes, it's tough but push yourself to approach and speak to more women even if you strike out, confidence and experience will grow.

    Although as said by many people, if she is walking away based on what you look like...she is not worth your time.
  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
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    Depends... Some girls are "chubby chasers" and some girls like extremely fit, muscles bulging.
    And then there are girls who like guys at any weight.
    I personally was with someone ~240 for 2 years. Better bear hugs from bigger guys! I think lower weight actually turns me off more. I like my men a little chubby.

    From my experience I've had more success at the weight I'm in now than what I was before.

    I always carried confidence in myself, but the attraction wasn't there for them.

    It definitely depends though, but from my experience and many friends around me weight has a lot to do with attraction. I mean why else do people lose weight(aside from health concerns..?)
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    It's not the weight. It's you.

    Weight has a lot to do with attraction.

    Guys who are awkward like to use that as an excuse. It's one of many cop-outs that just make them sound whiny and negative, which is probably part of the reason they ain't getting the ladies. At any rate, I'm sure it feels a lot better to blame your lack of game on women being shallow than on a personality defect of your own.
  • Sick_Beard
    Sick_Beard Posts: 407 Member
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    So when I was 290 the last girl I approached before starting my weight loss back up literally turned around on walked away without acknowledging me. At 245 I guess things have improved in the sense they'll talk to me for 30 seconds until they come up with an excuse to get away but still. So guys who have lost weight or to all the women out there, when does it actually get better? I mean do I need to be a fitness model or something because that's probably a bit out of reach.

    Cold approaching a girl is just plain creepy!!

    Do it in a manner where you can ask for her opinion on something and then take it from there, for example walk up to a girl promoting a new product and then use your wit to twist and turn the conversation so you can end up asking her on a date. Woman aren't superior in any way and believe it or not confidence, humour and charm will get you the hottest girl on the block.
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
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    It's not the weight. It's you.

    Weight has a lot to do with attraction.
    Interesting.

    I had no trouble getting women at 315. It appears I have more trouble now, because it's perceived I am cocky or unapproachable.
  • Sick_Beard
    Sick_Beard Posts: 407 Member
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    It's not the weight. It's you.

    Weight has a lot to do with attraction.
    Interesting.

    I had no trouble getting women at 315. It appears I have more trouble now, because it's perceived I am cocky or unapproachable.

    After effects of many people losing weight...cockiness/arrogance is just a turn off, don't lose game my friend
  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
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    It's not the weight. It's you.

    Weight has a lot to do with attraction.

    Guys who are awkward like to use that as an excuse. It's one of many cop-outs that just make them sound whiny and negative, which is probably part of the reason they ain't getting the ladies. At any rate, I'm sure it feels a lot better to blame your lack of game on women being shallow than on a personality defect of your own.

    Guys who are overweight get turned down by all type of girls. No matter how much confidence you carry. I see it every damn time I'm in the club or I'm at a house party. A guy can have all the confidence in the world and he still gets shut down from his size. Attraction matters.

    Awkwardness doesn't help at all though. Any guy who is awkward no matter what size will look like a complete fool unless that girl is a dork/timid/shy too.
  • NocturnalGirl
    NocturnalGirl Posts: 1,762
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    It's not the weight. It's you.

    Weight has a lot to do with attraction.
    Interesting.

    I had no trouble getting women at 315. It appears I have more trouble now, because it's perceived I am cocky or unapproachable.

    After effects of many people losing weight...cockiness/arrogance is just a turn off, don't lose game my friend

    Agreed. When the guys cocky, it doesn't matter what they look like.
  • JosephVitte
    JosephVitte Posts: 2,039
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    So when I was 290 the last girl I approached before starting my weight loss back up literally turned around on walked away without acknowledging me. At 245 I guess things have improved in the sense they'll talk to me for 30 seconds until they come up with an excuse to get away but still. So guys who have lost weight or to all the women out there, when does it actually get better? I mean do I need to be a fitness model or something because that's probably a bit out of reach.

    I started MFP at 250lbs. Never had a problem with woman, talking, ect.

    I will say I do feel a little sexier with the 13 lbs removed. Just keep at it, if they don't wanna chat, you shouldn't care anyways. That's what I do here on MFP......they request me then never say anything after that, goodbye, delete.:yawn:

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