So at what weight do women actually respond to a guy?

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  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
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    I think I would find it a little flattering if someone thought I looked nice and wanted to meet me because of it. It's never happened so maybe I would hate it too though...but I doubt it. It seems to be one of the key differences between men and women. I guess women get so much attention you take it completely for granted.
    No. For me, I just don't care what anyone thinks of me! I only care about my husband now that I'm married and myself and kids. I really don't care about stranger and before I was married I didn't either. I find it annoying when people bother me.
  • cindl24
    cindl24 Posts: 178
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    I think I would find it a little flattering if someone thought I looked nice and wanted to meet me because of it. It's never happened so maybe I would hate it too though...but I doubt it. It seems to be one of the key differences between men and women. I guess women get so much attention you take it completely for granted.

    It is flattering, at times. Now that I have lost some weight, I have had a few people hit on me. Sadly, they were much older than me and, well, let's just say a wee inappropriate. I'm hoping to be able to find a nice guy in my age range. LOL

    You're a good looking guy, so my guess is that it is either you are approaching stuck-up jerks or maybe it is the way that you are approaching them. Good luck!
  • SMOOCH89
    SMOOCH89 Posts: 3 Member
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    You're walking up to the wrong girls.

    i definately agree... I can honestly say size for me doesnt matter.. there was this guy i talked to in high school that was 6 ft 2 and at least 250lbs (i was 4 ft 9in and maybe 145). It literally may be the girls you are approaching
  • uscgirl79
    uscgirl79 Posts: 10 Member
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    It's all about the girl. I've dated a guy who weighed 175 and was in great shape and I've dated one who weighed 425. It's not about your weight, it's about finding someone who thinks you're great regardless.
  • uscgirl79
    uscgirl79 Posts: 10 Member
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    So when I was 290 the last girl I approached before starting my weight loss back up literally turned around on walked away without acknowledging me. At 245 I guess things have improved in the sense they'll talk to me for 30 seconds until they come up with an excuse to get away but still. So guys who have lost weight or to all the women out there, when does it actually get better? I mean do I need to be a fitness model or something because that's probably a bit out of reach.

    I also have that same question pertaining to the opposite sex, what is it with some men?

    It all depends on the man. My bf thinks I'm beautiful and perfect just the way I am. He supports me losing weight because he knows I need to do this for myself. The right man won't care what your weight is.
  • Shannonv1
    Shannonv1 Posts: 17 Member
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    That is an awesome man you have! You are very lucky! I hope to have that one day...


    I agree with the ladies, you are approaching the wrong girl(s)..
  • uscgirl79
    uscgirl79 Posts: 10 Member
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    That is an awesome man you have! You are very lucky! I hope to have that one day...


    I agree with the ladies, you are approaching the wrong girl(s)..

    Thank you! He doesn't see why I think he's so wonderful. You'll find one like that one day. It took awhile to find him but I promise it's worth it.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    I think I would find it a little flattering if someone thought I looked nice and wanted to meet me because of it. It's never happened so maybe I would hate it too though...but I doubt it. It seems to be one of the key differences between men and women. I guess women get so much attention you take it completely for granted.
    No. For me, I just don't care what anyone thinks of me! I only care about my husband now that I'm married and myself and kids. I really don't care about stranger and before I was married I didn't either. I find it annoying when people bother me.

    I agree to a point. I'm not bothered about attention from another woman and my wife isn't bothered if other men don't chat her up. however I find it hard to believe that you're not bothered what anyone thinks of you??? If you went out with some girlfriends wouldn't you want to look nice? Do your hair? Nice clothes? Make up?
  • Marquism123
    Marquism123 Posts: 152 Member
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    I think I would find it a little flattering if someone thought I looked nice and wanted to meet me because of it. It's never happened so maybe I would hate it too though...but I doubt it. It seems to be one of the key differences between men and women. I guess women get so much attention you take it completely for granted.
    No. For me, I just don't care what anyone thinks of me! I only care about my husband now that I'm married and myself and kids. I really don't care about stranger and before I was married I didn't either. I find it annoying when people bother me.

    I agree to a point. I'm not bothered about attention from another woman and my wife isn't bothered if other men don't chat her up. however I find it hard to believe that you're not bothered what anyone thinks of you??? If you went out with some girlfriends wouldn't you want to look nice? Do your hair? Nice clothes? Make up?

    You are missing the point entirely. Of course women care about what they look like and like to look nice but a man thinking a women looks nice does not create an obligation for her to spend time talking to him / date him!!!! There is a certain type of man out there that seems to think that everything a woman does is geared towards attracting a member of the opposite sex. Not true. If you are looking to meet a woman there are plenty of women out there looking to meet a man. The point is if a woman is interested in being approached you can generally establish this by making eye contact or smiling across the room. Plenty of women are married, in relationships, gay, catching up with a friend they haven't seen in months, providing a shoulder to cry on to a friend with a problem, etc etc. They don't want to be approached and make that clear from their behaviour, regardless of how pretty you think they are!!!

    I would suggest online dating, as at least that way you know that everyone is there for the same reason
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
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    Agree with that last post. My misses slim and sexy and repeatedly gets hit on when out by men who think simply by chatting and then trying to buy a drink means a date and then sex. She's there to have a dance and a laugh, not to score.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    I think I would find it a little flattering if someone thought I looked nice and wanted to meet me because of it. It's never happened so maybe I would hate it too though...but I doubt it. It seems to be one of the key differences between men and women. I guess women get so much attention you take it completely for granted.
    No. For me, I just don't care what anyone thinks of me! I only care about my husband now that I'm married and myself and kids. I really don't care about stranger and before I was married I didn't either. I find it annoying when people bother me.

    I agree to a point. I'm not bothered about attention from another woman and my wife isn't bothered if other men don't chat her up. however I find it hard to believe that you're not bothered what anyone thinks of you??? If you went out with some girlfriends wouldn't you want to look nice? Do your hair? Nice clothes? Make up?

    You are missing the point entirely. Of course women care about what they look like and like to look nice but a man thinking a women looks nice does not create an obligation for her to spend time talking to him / date him!!!!

    How can I be missing the point entirely - it was a direct quote! "For me, I just don't care what anyone thinks of me!"

    Of course women care about what they look like which is why I questioned a woman who said, and I quote again "I don't care what anyone thinks of me"!!
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
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    I think I would find it a little flattering if someone thought I looked nice and wanted to meet me because of it. It's never happened so maybe I would hate it too though...but I doubt it. It seems to be one of the key differences between men and women. I guess women get so much attention you take it completely for granted.
    No. For me, I just don't care what anyone thinks of me! I only care about my husband now that I'm married and myself and kids. I really don't care about stranger and before I was married I didn't either. I find it annoying when people bother me.

    I agree to a point. I'm not bothered about attention from another woman and my wife isn't bothered if other men don't chat her up. however I find it hard to believe that you're not bothered what anyone thinks of you??? If you went out with some girlfriends wouldn't you want to look nice? Do your hair? Nice clothes? Make up?

    You are missing the point entirely. Of course women care about what they look like and like to look nice but a man thinking a women looks nice does not create an obligation for her to spend time talking to him / date him!!!!

    How can I be missing the point entirely - it was a direct quote! "For me, I just don't care what anyone thinks of me!"

    Of course women care about what they look like which is why I questioned a woman who said, and I quote again "I don't care what anyone thinks of me"!!
    I know you weren't talking to me, but I don't care about what anyone whos not my partner thinks of me. Sometimes I wear nicer clothes to make him or me happy, but i'll happily go out in not at all nice clothes and not care what people think, I never wear makeup, I don't "do" my hair, I do brush it, but thats for me LOL.
  • bricktowngal
    bricktowngal Posts: 206
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    Wow, women can be so freaking mean!
  • Jkmumma
    Jkmumma Posts: 254
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    Do you have a creep factor? Girls don't like creepy guys.


    On a more serious note, girls, alone, in not the safest of locations (walking down the street at night, alone in a long hall ETC) have every right to, with statistics being what they are, look to any guy with a healthy dose of suspicion.
  • shovav91
    shovav91 Posts: 2,335 Member
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    You're talking to the wrong girls.
    I'm so sorry you've had to go through this; just please know not all girls are that incredibly shallow. I'll talk to anyone- fat, thin, one-eyed, purple... as long as they're kind and I enjoy talking to them, what's the issue? You need some kinder people in your life. Don't take it personally that they think they're better than the rest of the world- that's their issue, not yours.
  • Marquism123
    Marquism123 Posts: 152 Member
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    I think I would find it a little flattering if someone thought I looked nice and wanted to meet me because of it. It's never happened so maybe I would hate it too though...but I doubt it. It seems to be one of the key differences between men and women. I guess women get so much attention you take it completely for granted.
    No. For me, I just don't care what anyone thinks of me! I only care about my husband now that I'm married and myself and kids. I really don't care about stranger and before I was married I didn't either. I find it annoying when people bother me.

    I agree to a point. I'm not bothered about attention from another woman and my wife isn't bothered if other men don't chat her up. however I find it hard to believe that you're not bothered what anyone thinks of you??? If you went out with some girlfriends wouldn't you want to look nice? Do your hair? Nice clothes? Make up?

    You are missing the point entirely. Of course women care about what they look like and like to look nice but a man thinking a women looks nice does not create an obligation for her to spend time talking to him / date him!!!!

    How can I be missing the point entirely - it was a direct quote! "For me, I just don't care what anyone thinks of me!"

    Of course women care about what they look like which is why I questioned a woman who said, and I quote again "I don't care what anyone thinks of me"!!

    Ok - perhaps I misunderstood you and we have veered off the point a bit. The main point I was making I that whilst I care what people think and want to look my best, it doesn't mean that I spend every night out desperate to be approached by men to be told how great I look!! There are genuinely a lot of guys who get so wrapped up in "plucking up the courage" to approach women they neglect entirely to establish if that woman actually wishes to talk to them ( or any other guy in the place). Not wishing to talk with a strange guy who you never invited to approach you in the first place does not make you rude. There are plenty of women who are looking to chat, men just need to get better at identifying them!
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
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    It is 90% confidence and 50% humor I know that adds up to 140% but we are talking about women here, they are of a different level of understanding than us lower level life forms of men.

    If you are hoping for a woman to approach you or respond to you simply because you are standing there trying to look all dapper, I have news for you; unless you are Chris Hensworth type or going for the Jersey *kitten* Show type gals you are not going to be of much luck.

    Unless you sweat confidence, woman are not going to pick up on that. You have to speak, you have to speak clearly and not be creepy, be confident and be funny. If you dont have any of those skills get really rich and move to Los Angeles or New Jersey...
  • cindl24
    cindl24 Posts: 178
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    If you dont have any of those skills get really rich and move to Los Angeles or New Jersey...

    LOL

    This made me laugh.
  • willwillywilson
    willwillywilson Posts: 229
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    Do you have a creep factor? Girls don't like creepy guys.


    On a more serious note, girls, alone, in not the safest of locations (walking down the street at night, alone in a long hall ETC) have every right to, with statistics being what they are, look to any guy with a healthy dose of suspicion.

    Ha ok I'm not that crazy. Not chasing anyone down an alley for a number. I just figured bars are generally accepted male/female meeting areas. I mean look around. What do you see there? Men and women talking. Kind of a common thing. The only way any girl would be offended for getting approached in a bar is if she thinks the guy approaching her is ugly. Hence the question about my weight and when this that will no longer be as big a problem for me.
  • Rawr1978
    Rawr1978 Posts: 245 Member
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    it isn't a confidence thing. I've known a vast array of confident men who got rejected.
    My own bf is tall and rail-thin, and isn't confident...he's still hot to me.
    I'd say it's the type of women.

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