Married Women-Your Thoughts?
Replies
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I would equate getting upset over this to getting upset if he has fantasies about celebrities. He'll never meet these girls, it's all in good fun...0
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I am wondering. If women are that sensitive about affair of their husband with another woman, then how another woman dare to date or have an affair with a married man?
I mean If you all don't like it then how some of you can do it with a married man?
Really????
This might come as a shock, but women are individuals and don't all think and feel the same way.0 -
I would equate getting upset over this to getting upset if he has fantasies about celebrities. He'll never meet these girls, it's all in good fun...
How could you be here for 4 months and 3000 posts and not hear about the hook ups that take place on this site? It seems like every day there is a deactivation from someone who is married/attached and they got caught misbehaving on here. I know of some that have took it offline and got caught.
Not suggesting that the OP's husband is looking for a hook up by participating in a rating thread, BUT to equate it to fantasies about celebrities is just ridiculous.0 -
I am wondering. If women are that sensitive about affair of their husband with another woman, then how another woman dare to date or have an affair with a married man?
I mean If you all don't like it then how some of you can do it with a married man?
Coz men never do that!0 -
I am wondering. If women are that sensitive about affair of their husband with another woman, then how another woman dare to date or have an affair with a married man?
I mean If you all don't like it then how some of you can do it with a married man?
Really????
This might come as a shock, but women are individuals and don't all think and feel the same way.
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communication is key
^^This!!0 -
I do it...So why would it bother me if he did it.
And a lot of people post 9s and 10s just to be nice regardless of what the person looks like.
Same.0 -
I personally find it inappropriate. There are boundaries that should never be crossed when you are in a committed relationship and rating someone of the other sex is, to me, one of those boundaries. I never participate in those types of threads out of respect to my husband. He is the only one I have eyes for and says the same about me.0
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I don't reply to those, because I wouldn't appreciate it if my husband did. Have a conversation about. It is a fine line, and subjective to each couple. Good luck!!0
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I was wondering how the married women in this forum would feel about your husband posting in the "rate the person above you" threads?
I recently noticed my husband posting in one of these and I'm not sure how I feel about it. How would you feel? Do you think it is wrong? Do you think it is more in the gray area? Or do you think there is nothing wrong with it what so ever?
Wouldn't think anything of it... My husband has eyes so he can see other women... It's not a crime as far as I am concerned!0 -
Oi... everyone gives a 9 or a 10? I got an 8. *cries*
Ahem... with that out of the way, I get you. I'm very insecure as well, and when my ex did something similar, it made me sad. I'd bring it up without making it sound like an accusation, and tell him how it makes you feel. I'm sure it doesn't mean he thinks of you as anything but beautiful, but I really, truly do get you.
I've worked on my self-confidence and gotten better at dealing with situations like this. Do yourself a favor and try working on yours - it'll make it easier to kick that stupid, annoying, illogical self-doubt in the booty.0 -
I would equate getting upset over this to getting upset if he has fantasies about celebrities. He'll never meet these girls, it's all in good fun...
How could you be here for 4 months and 3000 posts and not hear about the hook ups that take place on this site? It seems like every day there is a deactivation from someone who is married/attached and they got caught misbehaving on here. I know of some that have took it offline and got caught.
Not suggesting that the OP's husband is looking for a hook up by participating in a rating thread, BUT to equate it to fantasies about celebrities is just ridiculous.
I've been here two years and haven't heard about all these hookups that take place. But maybe that's because I'm not a gossipy hen and don't give a damn what other people are doing.
I'm not a fan of rating people in general, so I don't participate in those threads. But it's really just people looking for a little ego boost and validation. Harmless fun for those who enjoy it.
If a relationship is destroyed because someone gave someone a high rating, then that relationship was already nearly dead.0 -
I havent read any of the replies, but my 2 cents is. its okay to read the menu as long as he's not ordering anything. I am also married and we are not in an open relationship but we both can admire when another person is attractive. Its just a dumb game on an online site. Its for fun.0
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I do not participate in those threads nor do I act in a manner in which I would be upset if he did on here. I get inappropriate private messages as well as posts on my wall, which I immediately let the person know that this behavior would not be acceptable if another woman sent it to my husband, it is not okay if they sent it to me, no matter how innocent they meant it......or not. I have even had a few married me say, wow, never thought about that, yeah, I would be mad if some dude from the internet was saying that to my wife to. Yeah, its not okay with me. It is the way I respect my marriage, period. There is a clear line drawn in the sand and I also respect myself enough to not feel that I need that kind of attention.
I even have a message on my profile page about this. I do not need the attention from another person to rate me, tell me I am beautiful, whether or not they would date me. I am secure in myself because I CHOOSE TO BE.
I often wonder how spouses would act if they saw some of the stuff their partner posted on here. To see a married person openly flirt kinda disgusts me but I do not walk in their shoes nor do I know what is going on in their relationship so I try not to judge, its not my place to after all. But I will say I do wish more people felt good about themselves with out feeling their looks need to be validated by a stranger on the internet.
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I'm engaged not married. What would bother em is not that he posted but what he posted. For example I find "9/10, you're really striking!" to be perfectly fine but I would be very hurt if he said "9/10 you're hotter than my wife and she's smoking".
The big things to consider:
1. Is he doing something else that you find questionable (messaging girls etc)?
2. How did he phrase it? Was it "she's good very looking" or "*wolf whistle* I'd tap THAT"
3. Did you talk to him? How did he respond when you told him how you felt about it? Was it "Oh, I didn't realize it upset you. That wasn't my intent" versus "WOMAN What's your problem? Why you so uptight?"0 -
The whole thing seems childish to me. Men look at women, women look at men. You can't help but notice people, it's natural. Only in this instance, it's written in black and white and not just a thought in your head. My husband and I will openly comment on who we think is cute... that doesn't matter to us. I tell him, if he thinks she'll put up with him like I do... he's sorely mistaken! lol
Now, if commenting on someone's "hotness" leads to direct messaging or racy comments... then all bets are off.
If you wouldn't say it (or type it in this case) with your spouse reading over your shoulder, it's probably not a good idea to do it!0 -
To me, it would depend on what he was saying. If it wasn't inappropriate, I may not like it but I would leave it alone. This is coming from the most jealous wife ever.0
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Thanks for all your comments!! My husband and I actually came up with a middle ground compromise that we are both happy with. I know that a lot of your comments have changed my perspective a little and I know where my husband is coming from more. I think that it has changed my husband's perspective a little and I think he knows where I am coming from more as well. I feel like when there is a disagreement in a marriage what makes the marriage healthy is to meet in the middle!0
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For me, I would not be upset by it as long as he wasn't being flirtatious about it. For example, if he said something like "DA*N girl, you look good" or something like that then yeah i would be upset. But if he is just looking and posting a number then no that wouldn't upset me. My husband looks at other women (he tries to do it respectfully without me noticing but he fails every time lol) and sometimes i check out other men. We are all human, no need to get upset over it.
Yea thats all I did once or twice maybe is give a simple and honest rating. I never flirted. I mean hell I know shes gonna dig through everything I write, so why would I shoot myself in the foot on purpose?:)
Make up sects? That had to be why my ex acted teh way she did...just sayin0 -
Maybe you guys should talk to each other instead of battling it out in front of internet strangers to try and get people to take sides. Are you 13 or adults?
Firstly were not "battling it out". She noticed I had participated in one of those threads and I told her she was over reacting because it was completely innocent. To take it to another level and insult us by calling us 13 yr olds is just in and of itself juvenile.
I told her if you dont believe me... post a thread asking for opinions about it and you will see that I am right. Well I have not gotten as much support as I had initially hoped for lol. But I assure you it was purely out of boredom.
Honey were going to have angry sex tonight I can tell already.
I'm sorry, but what was the OP complaining about again? I got sidetracked by the angry sex remark...
And you can put another mark in your column. I think she's overreacting. Sorry OP but that's my 2 cents.0 -
I would equate getting upset over this to getting upset if he has fantasies about celebrities. He'll never meet these girls, it's all in good fun...
How could you be here for 4 months and 3000 posts and not hear about the hook ups that take place on this site? It seems like every day there is a deactivation from someone who is married/attached and they got caught misbehaving on here. I know of some that have took it offline and got caught.
Not suggesting that the OP's husband is looking for a hook up by participating in a rating thread, BUT to equate it to fantasies about celebrities is just ridiculous.
I've been here two years and haven't heard about all these hookups that take place. But maybe that's because I'm not a gossipy hen and don't give a damn what other people are doing.
I'm not a fan of rating people in general, so I don't participate in those threads. But it's really just people looking for a little ego boost and validation. Harmless fun for those who enjoy it.
If a relationship is destroyed because someone gave someone a high rating, then that relationship was already nearly dead.
You don't have to be a gossip hen to hear about hookups gone wrong from this site. It is a natural reaction to ask friends out of general concern why a mutual friend deactivated. On multiple occasions I have heard of someone deactivating because they got caught misbehaving online or hooking up offline from someone they met here.0 -
Thanks for all your comments!! My husband and I actually came up with a middle ground compromise that we are both happy with. I know that a lot of your comments have changed my perspective a little and I know where my husband is coming from more. I think that it has changed my husband's perspective a little and I think he knows where I am coming from more as well. I feel like when there is a disagreement in a marriage what makes the marriage healthy is to meet in the middle!
Glad to hear it!0 -
Sounds like a hell of a lot of people with self esteem issues being reflected onto partners...0
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I think it depends on the relationship you and your S/O have. For some couples it's probably perfectly ok.
For some, not so much.
Personally I'm not about to judge either way. Just as long as you and your loved one act according to what makes the relationship healthy and happy.0 -
FWIW, my wife doesn't care if I browse/comment/rate women. She knows I'm faithful.0
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I was wondering how the married women in this forum would feel about your husband posting in the "rate the person above you" threads?
I recently noticed my husband posting in one of these and I'm not sure how I feel about it. How would you feel? Do you think it is wrong? Do you think it is more in the gray area? Or do you think there is nothing wrong with it what so ever?0 -
I don't think it's a big deal on a public forum. He's obviously not trying to hide it. When it becomes secretive and private messages then there would be an issue.0
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I'm single, but if I was married, I don't think it would bother me. Some people (like me) post in those threads because they're bored.
Unless they are actually flirting with the people they're rating, I don't see why it would matter much.0 -
My husband and I rate people out in the general public all the time to each other, so; for sure wouldn't bother me on the internet.0
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they are the stupidest message boards....wouldn't worry0
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