Sister wives

penrbrown

Seems kind of involved just to have a threesome.

Fivesome actually.

LMick1986

Honestly these were not the best people to present a polygamous marriage to mainstream America. Cody (the husband) is a child. Mentally and I presume emotionally.

His wives seem to be a wee bit messed up themselves. The one stated she is a second wife because the thought of being alone with a man scared her. Does that seem healthy? No. No it really doesn't.

I find myself feeling sorry for his first wife all the time. She seems unhappy. All around unhappy.

I don't have anything against any of them as people but what I've seen on the show does not seem like a healthy relationship to me (I say this realizing I have only seen heavily edited clips of their lives... I'm just saying the clips haven't really shown them in an entirely favorable light).

And on top of that why bother being together? They all live in separate areas. They all lead their own lives. Each family unit has different rules for the children (or at least that's what I saw on the episodes I watched). They are not a cohesive unit but separate units claiming the same husband. The children seem to be growing up almost in single family homes, except for when they have their 'dad' week'. They seem to come together only when it's needed. Really this relationship seems to be mainly for Cody's benefit. When he gets bored - NEW WIFE! Yay! He's not bored anymore.

Disclaimer: I have no thoughts about polygamy. I'm neither for nor against. I just don't like the dynamics of this particular family.

I'm thinking you haven't watched anything more than a fairly recent episode. They used to live in the same house...all of them (aside from Robyn and her family, since it was before her time). However, they've recently come under investigation and they left Utah. They have had no luck in finding another home like the one they had....so they are making do with four homes near each other....and hopefully getting the four homes RIGHT next door to each other. It's the struggle they've been going through recently....so yes, that's what you see....you see them discussing how they feel like a single mom and they don't enjoy have to split "dad time".
Another note, Kody doesn't get bored and go choose another wife. The women make this decision overall.

penrbrown

Honestly these were not the best people to present a polygamous marriage to mainstream America. Cody (the husband) is a child. Mentally and I presume emotionally.

His wives seem to be a wee bit messed up themselves. The one stated she is a second wife because the thought of being alone with a man scared her. Does that seem healthy? No. No it really doesn't.

I find myself feeling sorry for his first wife all the time. She seems unhappy. All around unhappy.

I don't have anything against any of them as people but what I've seen on the show does not seem like a healthy relationship to me (I say this realizing I have only seen heavily edited clips of their lives... I'm just saying the clips haven't really shown them in an entirely favorable light).

And on top of that why bother being together? They all live in separate areas. They all lead their own lives. Each family unit has different rules for the children (or at least that's what I saw on the episodes I watched). They are not a cohesive unit but separate units claiming the same husband. The children seem to be growing up almost in single family homes, except for when they have their 'dad' week'. They seem to come together only when it's needed. Really this relationship seems to be mainly for Cody's benefit. When he gets bored - NEW WIFE! Yay! He's not bored anymore.

Disclaimer: I have no thoughts about polygamy. I'm neither for nor against. I just don't like the dynamics of this particular family.

I'm thinking you haven't watched anything more than a fairly recent episode. They used to live in the same house...all of them (aside from Robyn and her family, since it was before her time). They lived together for many many years. However, they've recently come under investigation and they left Utah. They have had no luck in finding another home like they one they had....so they are making do with four homes near each other....and hopefully getting the four homes RIGHT next door to each other. It's the struggle they've been going through recently....so yes, that's what you see....you see them discussing how they feel like a single mom and they don't enjoy have to split "dad time".
Another note, Kody doesn't get bored and go choose another wife. The women make this decision overall.

I've only seen the first season. They lived in the same house but all had their separate living areas. They were together but not together.

Kody does get bored. I think that much is clear. He's like a hyper active puppy. Good grief. Haha! But that was just my impression of the show. *shrug*

sarahharmintx

I watch the show. My husband hates that I do. Our conversations go like this:

Me: Are you sure you dont want a second wife?
Him: Oh hell no. I can barely handle you.
Me: But it could be awesome. She could do the dishes and help with the kid and run errands.
Him: <confused look>
Me: But I would kill her if she ever touched you. And you taught me to shoot so you know I could.
Him: I think what you are looking for is a "maid" not "sister wife".

LMick1986

I watch the show. My husband hates that I do. Our conversations go like this:

Me: Are you sure you dont want a second wife?
Him: Oh hell no. I can barely handle you.
Me: But it could be awesome. She could do the dishes and help with the kid and run errands.
Him: <confused look>
Me: But I would kill her if she ever touched you. And you taught me to shoot so you know I could.
Him: I think what you are looking for is a "maid" not "sister wife".

Hahahah!

ladymiseryali

For all of those who believe any marriage should be legal if all parties involved are consenting adults- what about the children? Do we know enough of how children are affected by it? Should we care? Or should we just step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children? Really curious about opinions on this.

What about the kids? As long as they're not being abused in any way, it shouldn't affect them whatsoever.

penrbrown

For all of those who believe any marriage should be legal if all parties involved are consenting adults- what about the children? Do we know enough of how children are affected by it? Should we care? Or should we just step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children? Really curious about opinions on this.

What about the kids? As long as they're not being abused in any way, it shouldn't affect them whatsoever.

Actually it does. In the case of same-sex marriages the opposite gender child will suffer. Children need a same gender and opposite gender parent to learn and grow ideally.

BUT don't take my word for it. Go and do some research. That's what I did and that's what I discovered.

Chinadorian

does anyone else remember how its ILLEGAL in the US to be married to more than one person at a time...just saying..maybe Im confused about the law???

Chinadorian

I watch the show. My husband hates that I do. Our conversations go like this:

Me: Are you sure you dont want a second wife?
Him: Oh hell no. I can barely handle you.
Me: But it could be awesome. She could do the dishes and help with the kid and run errands.
Him: <confused look>
Me: But I would kill her if she ever touched you. And you taught me to shoot so you know I could.
Him: I think what you are looking for is a "maid" not "sister wife".

LOL

Homer_z_Spartan

So, I'm watching this show on t l c, where the man has 4 wives and like 30 kids or something. Anyone else watch this show? What are your thoughts on polygamy?

I want to punch the one wife I have (pretty sure the feeling is mutual). Why the F would I want 3 more.

30 kids. That is like 30 too many. I don't want the 3 I have.

Man. I need to move to Peru and sweep donkey poop off the street.

LMick1986

Actually it does. In the case of same-sex marriages the opposite gender child will suffer. Children need a same gender and opposite gender parent to learn and grow ideally.

BUT don't take my word for it. Go and do some research. That's what I did and that's what I discovered.

I'm not trying to be a jerk, but what does that even mean? "To learn and grow ideally"? Who's ideals? What's normal anyways? Can you look at all the children out there right now and say "oh they definitely came from _____ kind of family"? No. There is no set way to raise a child. You can find children that don't know how to function in society....and they came from your "ideal" mom and dad family. You can find children that are the most kind and giving children out there....and they came from same-sex couples. You can also find the complete opposite. That's just a silly assessment.

LuckyLeprechaun

does anyone else remember how its ILLEGAL in the US to be married to more than one person at a time...just saying..maybe Im confused about the law???

the only one who is married to the husband *in the eyes of the law* is the first wife Meri. All of the other "marriages" are not legally valid, but in their religion, they are considered to be married.

magj0y

I have lived in 5 states and have grown to know a LOT of people from many different backgrounds.. so perhaps I may have more insight to this than others.

So, all things considered equal and good, what do YOU believe is the best family situation for raising children?

Basically saying "It doesn't matter what type of family you grow up in, you will get teased, you will have something bad happen that changes your life, you will have something so amazing happen that changes your whole life, you will go through things that just about every kid goes through in some way, shape, or form."

There is no "right way" to have a family. Every parent will make some mistake. Every parent will do something amazing in their child's life. There isn't a rule book on how to do everything. So, I believe there is no "best" family situation to raise a child. You do the best you can and love them all the way through it.

^^^ there is no best way. Even if you give them all the love and support you possibly can, *kitten* can go wrong.
Looking back, the most screwed up family I met was a religious couple who had a son, daughter and an adopted daughter. It was cringeworthy what went on in that home.

There is no acing the parental test. It's not a matter of if, it's when you screw up.The best family situation is this, The more adults to love and care, be it family, family friends or community, the better. The "It takes a village" cliche. I'm so blessed to live in a neighborhood where my neighbors care about my daughters. It's a small village we have forged, but it works. It's not traditional, but we all benefit. We all bring something to the collective table and I don't feel that this can set a family back. Does this say my kids have had a perfect childhood? absolutely not. Things beyond my control have changed my daughters lives forever.
The only thing you can do right in parenting is try the best you know how with the help of successful people.

loliblullama

For all of those who believe any marriage should be legal if all parties involved are consenting adults- what about the children? Do we know enough of how children are affected by it? Should we care? Or should we just step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children? Really curious about opinions on this.

What about the kids? As long as they're not being abused in any way, it shouldn't affect them whatsoever.

Actually it does. In the case of same-sex marriages the opposite gender child will suffer. Children need a same gender and opposite gender parent to learn and grow ideally.

BUT don't take my word for it. Go and do some research. That's what I did and that's what I discovered.

Um, I'm sorry but NO. Not at all. That is total bollocks to be honest. I know many a fine person raised by same sex couples who have no issues not having a same gender parent. I also know many people raised by single parents who grew up just dandy and never had a same gender parent. so, what ideals are you exactly referring to?

Personally, I have no issue with polygamy. If you feel like marrying half the continent and everyone is of sound mind and legal age then go nuts is what I say. Live and let live.

maurierose

For all of those who believe any marriage should be legal if all parties involved are consenting adults- what about the children? Do we know enough of how children are affected by it? Should we care? Or should we just step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children? Really curious about opinions on this.

^^ this - keep reading folks in this thread saying "It's all good between consenting adults" bla bla bla..... but those kids, however many they are, are NOT "consenting adults". It affects them, too....

does anyone else remember how its ILLEGAL in the US to be married to more than one person at a time...just saying..maybe Im confused about the law???

*shrugs* Apparently my ex "forgot" or was "confused about the law" cuz he married someone else years ago while he was still married to me.... :laugh: Must be a law for only "smart people" to be able to comprehend. :laugh: :devil: Good riddance!!! :drinker:

magj0y

Actually it does. In the case of same-sex marriages the opposite gender child will suffer. Children need a same gender and opposite gender parent to learn and grow ideally.

BUT don't take my word for it. Go and do some research. That's what I did and that's what I discovered.

I'm not trying to be a jerk, but what does that even mean? "To learn and grow ideally"? Who's ideals? What's normal anyways? Can you look at all the children out there right now and say "oh they definitely came from _____ kind of family"? No. There is no set way to raise a child. You can find children that don't know how to function in society....and they came from your "ideal" mom and dad family. You can find children that are the most kind and giving children out there....and they came from same-sex couples. You can also find the complete opposite. That's just a silly assessment.

It's not silly at all.
People say "If they have a loving couple as a roll model, that is good" this is so wrong. Having seen first hand successful and unsuccessful relationships of both homosexual and heterosexual people, it is so not the same. Growing up with a lesbian mom, I was at a complete loss on how boyfriends should treat me. I knew they had to be respectful.. but what exactly is that? Is there a line in the proverbial sand? Then, I didn't know what would be or should be expected from me. People, as adults, can easily say "if they're loving...." but when you're coming of age, it's confusing enough as it is.

LMick1986

For all of those who believe any marriage should be legal if all parties involved are consenting adults- what about the children? Do we know enough of how children are affected by it? Should we care? Or should we just step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children? Really curious about opinions on this.

^^ this - keep reading folks in this thread saying "It's all good between consenting adults" bla bla bla..... but those kids, however many they are, are NOT "consenting adults". It affects them, too....

What do you mean by "step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children"? Is that what being an adult and parent is all about? Why should "we" step in and stop the parents from allowing more parents to enter the picture? How is that so awful? And of course the children are not consenting adults.....they are children. So until they are out of the house, they follow the rules set by the parents.....whether that be one, two, or five. I guess I don't understand why having four moms and a dad is so bad. Children are affected by EVERYTHING! It's your job as a parent to teach them. Do you think the children coming from this family will not be able to function in society? If so, why?

LMick1986

It's not silly at all.
People say "If they have a loving couple as a roll model, that is good" this is so wrong. Having seen first hand successful and unsuccessful relationships of both homosexual and heterosexual people, it is so not the same. Growing up with a lesbian mom, I was at a complete loss on how boyfriends should treat me. I knew they had to be respectful.. but what exactly is that? Is there a line in the proverbial sand? Then, I didn't know what would be or should be expected from me. People, as adults, can easily say "if they're loving...." but when you're coming of age, it's confusing enough as it is.

Everything is confusing when you're coming of age. I've known screwed up children that came from every type of family you can think of. I've also known pretty amazing people that have come from all types of families. I personally come from a broken home, where both of my parents remarried...one of them, several times. Most of my friends would call me one of the most stable, grounded, accepting people they've ever met. I've met people that come from a nuclear family that are so terrified of being in love....because they don't want to fail....and then end up staying in an abusive relationship. You can never know how the children will turn out. If you remember, the columbine shooters came from very stable, loving homes. Maybe we need to start looking at outside influences, rather than just what constitutes a "normal" or "right" family. Look at the bullies out there....look at how we allow our children to treat others. Accept people, love people, be kind to people. That's one thing this family is teaching their children. I'm all for that.

penrbrown

For all of those who believe any marriage should be legal if all parties involved are consenting adults- what about the children? Do we know enough of how children are affected by it? Should we care? Or should we just step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children? Really curious about opinions on this.

What about the kids? As long as they're not being abused in any way, it shouldn't affect them whatsoever.

Actually it does. In the case of same-sex marriages the opposite gender child will suffer. Children need a same gender and opposite gender parent to learn and grow ideally.

BUT don't take my word for it. Go and do some research. That's what I did and that's what I discovered.

Um, I'm sorry but NO. Not at all. That is total bollocks to be honest. I know many a fine person raised by same sex couples who have no issues not having a same gender parent. I also know many people raised by single parents who grew up just dandy and never had a same gender parent. so, what ideals are you exactly referring to?

Personally, I have no issue with polygamy. If you feel like marrying half the continent and everyone is of sound mind and legal age then go nuts is what I say. Live and let live.

Sorry but the research disagrees with you.

But unless you're willing to approach the subject with an open mind you won't ever see that.

Anyway. Wish I could give you some links but I do the majority of my research offline and honestly don't have any handy dandy links to back up my point so I'm willing to let it go.

penrbrown

It's not silly at all.
People say "If they have a loving couple as a roll model, that is good" this is so wrong. Having seen first hand successful and unsuccessful relationships of both homosexual and heterosexual people, it is so not the same. Growing up with a lesbian mom, I was at a complete loss on how boyfriends should treat me. I knew they had to be respectful.. but what exactly is that? Is there a line in the proverbial sand? Then, I didn't know what would be or should be expected from me. People, as adults, can easily say "if they're loving...." but when you're coming of age, it's confusing enough as it is.

Your personal experience means nothing. Sorry but you must tow the line and believe what is trendy to believe or else you will be ignored. :P

Just kidding. Of course. Glad to know someone on here understands what I was saying.

Have you ever looked into the psychology behind all this or was your life experience enough for you? I'm just curious. I was raised in a single parent home and I came out of it not knowing what to do with men. I never learned how to interact properly with the opposite sex. This was the result of being raised in a home with only one gender parent.

I never put two and two together (the fact I only had a mother and the fact that I have difficulties interacting with males) until I started to study psychology. Now it all kind of makes sense.