Sister wives

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Replies

  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    Honestly, I have a big problem with federal and state governments trying to restrict the notion of marriage for anyone including polygamists or polyamorous families. The choice of whom one wishes to marry should be left up to the individual and not restricted by the government as long as all parties involved are adults and consent to the union.

    While I agree with the former, the latter doesn't make any sense. The government has to enforce these rules -- mediating divorce. So, it has to define it what is a marriage, and what isn't. If they didn't define it and make restriction, people would marry their cousins, sisters, dogs, parents, rocks and so on. Restrictions are restrictions, even if they are "obvious" like being an adult (e.g: what age is adult? It's different in different states!) and consenting (what's consent? Written? Verbal? Sign-language?), because someone is always going to try to break it.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    Honestly, I have a big problem with federal and state governments trying to restrict the notion of marriage for anyone including polygamists or polyamorous families. The choice of whom one wishes to marry should be left up to the individual and not restricted by the government as long as all parties involved are adults and consent to the union.

    While I agree with the former, the latter doesn't make any sense. The government has to enforce these rules -- mediating divorce. So, it has to define it what is a marriage, and what isn't. If they didn't define it and make restriction, people would marry their cousins, sisters, dogs, parents, rocks and so on. Restrictions are restrictions, even if they are "obvious" like being an adult (e.g: what age is adult? It's different in different states!) and consenting (what's consent? Written? Verbal? Sign-language?), because someone is always going to try to break it.

    Oh! Look! Common sense! Nice to see you. :)

    But yes. There HAVE to be restrictions. So we all have to push to have marriage defined the way we want it to be defined. In the end, the majority rules. Yay democracy.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
    Honestly, I have a big problem with federal and state governments trying to restrict the notion of marriage for anyone including polygamists or polyamorous families. The choice of whom one wishes to marry should be left up to the individual and not restricted by the government as long as all parties involved are adults and consent to the union.

    While I agree with the former, the latter doesn't make any sense. The government has to enforce these rules -- mediating divorce. So, it has to define it what is a marriage, and what isn't. If they didn't define it and make restriction, people would marry their cousins, sisters, dogs, parents, rocks and so on. Restrictions are restrictions, even if they are "obvious" like being an adult (e.g: what age is adult? It's different in different states!) and consenting (what's consent? Written? Verbal? Sign-language?), because someone is always going to try to break it.

    Equating marriage between two or more adult (>18 year old) human beings to marriage to an inanimate object or incest is ludicrous. I am sorry I didn't clarify that in my original statement, but I supposed I erroneously assumed that such a nonsensical false equivalency would be obviously not what I meant.

    Obviously, marriage is a written contract (re: marriage licenses granted by the state). Yes, the state should impose some restrictions, but outlawing polygamy among >18 year old adult human beings who are not related should not be part of those restrictions.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member

    But yes. There HAVE to be restrictions. So we all have to push to have marriage defined the way we want it to be defined. In the end, the majority rules. Yay democracy.

    What if the majority said white women can't get married?
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    Honestly, I have a big problem with federal and state governments trying to restrict the notion of marriage for anyone including polygamists or polyamorous families. The choice of whom one wishes to marry should be left up to the individual and not restricted by the government as long as all parties involved are adults and consent to the union.

    While I agree with the former, the latter doesn't make any sense. The government has to enforce these rules -- mediating divorce. So, it has to define it what is a marriage, and what isn't. If they didn't define it and make restriction, people would marry their cousins, sisters, dogs, parents, rocks and so on. Restrictions are restrictions, even if they are "obvious" like being an adult (e.g: what age is adult? It's different in different states!) and consenting (what's consent? Written? Verbal? Sign-language?), because someone is always going to try to break it.

    Oh! Look! Common sense! Nice to see you. :)

    But yes. There HAVE to be restrictions. So we all have to push to have marriage defined the way we want it to be defined. In the end, the majority rules. Yay democracy.

    The majority ruled against interracial marriage and then again with gay marriage. The "majority" isn't always right.

    Allowing for divorce for a spouse with multiple wives/husbands isn't that difficult. It would be pretty much if someone got married 4 times and then divorced 4 times.

    As for the comparing the Duggards, I bet the sister wives spend more time with their kids. It has been in many of their documentaries that the older kids are almost completely responsible for a younger kid along with many chores. Ok, when a mom breaks down in tears with too much laundry, it's time to stop popping out kids
  • RubyRed8067
    RubyRed8067 Posts: 301
    TLC has simply become the freakshow network. People like to watch trainwrecks, and this is the channel for them. They take people on the extreme ends and put them on tv. Between 19 kids and counting, Honey Boo Boo, Sister Wives, Cougar Wives, My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, My strange addiction, Breaking Amish, Toddlers in tiaras ect...they generate a LOT of money exploiting people. TLC used to be "The Learning Channel". It has become TFC.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    Yes, the state should impose some restrictions, but outlawing polygamy among >18 year old adult human beings who are not related should not be part of those restrictions.

    Not getting my point. So, basically, some restrictions are ok, but others are not. That's fine with me. But saying "government should get out of marriage" makes no sense, since it still has to enforce the very restrictions that you personally like. I think you really mean "government should allow polyamorous marriage".
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member


    The majority ruled against interracial marriage and then again with gay marriage. The "majority" isn't always right.

    Allowing for divorce for a spouse with multiple wives/husbands isn't that difficult. It would be pretty much if someone got married 4 times and then divorced 4 times.

    As for the comparing the Duggards, I bet the sister wives spend more time with their kids. It has been in many of their documentaries that the older kids are almost completely responsible for a younger kid along with many chores. Ok, when a mom breaks down in tears with too much laundry, it's time to stop popping out kids

    It's not about 'right or wrong'. It's about keeping the people happy and sometimes 'wrong' keeps the people happy. That's the beauty of democracy.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Retiring in a few years. Buying a home in Vegas with my wife and her two sisters. Not Polygamy, since I will only be sleeping with my wife, but the overall dynamics will be the same otherwise.

    Don't see a problem with it.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member


    It's not about 'right or wrong'. It's about keeping the people happy and sometimes 'wrong' keeps the people happy. That's the beauty of democracy.

    So you would be cool with it if white women couldn't get married, if the majority said that? What if the majority said white women had to keep their heads covered? Stay inside?
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
    If all the wives are consenting adults, why not? I don't have a problem with polygamy, or bigamy or any other marriage that isn't the standard man and wife. As long as it involves consenting adults, who cares?

    Agree. I could never ever share my man with someone, but if other people are okay with it, who am I to stop them? To each their own.
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
    If all the wives are consenting adults, why not? I don't have a problem with polygamy, or bigamy or any other marriage that isn't the standard man and wife. As long as it involves consenting adults, who cares?

    Children born of these consenting adults may care.
  • kooky_kiz
    kooky_kiz Posts: 22 Member
    honestly I would love a sister wife, my husband of 7 years is still asking for sex every night, I would happily share, as long as she is less attractive than me.
  • coffee_rocks
    coffee_rocks Posts: 275 Member
    I give my wife 100% of me. I think sharing that with one or more other women would be short changing the commitment that I made to her. I also think it is a terrible way to raise your kids - a house of one man, and many sub-servant wives is not the way that I want my children to view healthy relationships between men and women.
  • LMick1986
    LMick1986 Posts: 431
    Children born of these consenting adults may care.

    Children born of gay parents may care...or may not...they may just love them. Children born of divorced parents, single parents, may care....or may not....they may just love them. Children born of alcoholics may care...or may not....they may just love them. These children have all talked of the love their parents share. Not all of them want the same lifestyle, but they've never doubted the love the family shares.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    If all the wives are consenting adults, why not? I don't have a problem with polygamy, or bigamy or any other marriage that isn't the standard man and wife. As long as it involves consenting adults, who cares?

    Children born of these consenting adults may care.

    You're swimming against the tide my friend. There can be no ideal setting for children and we shouldn't strive to give them the best. Instead we should strive only to please ourselves. Sorry to have to break that to you. ):
  • perfectingpatti
    perfectingpatti Posts: 1,037 Member
    You're swimming against the tide my friend. There can be no ideal setting for children and we shouldn't strive to give them the best. Instead we should strive only to please ourselves. Sorry to have to break that to you. ):

    Right? Since the "ideal" home is so hard to achieve, let's just give up.
  • KayteeBear
    KayteeBear Posts: 1,040 Member
    You're swimming against the tide my friend. There can be no ideal setting for children and we shouldn't strive to give them the best. Instead we should strive only to please ourselves. Sorry to have to break that to you. ):

    Right? Since the "ideal" home is so hard to achieve, let's just give up.

    The thing is that "ideal" is different for everybody. Somebody may think ideal is a MAN and WOMAN raising no more than 3 children. Another ideal may be any variety of parents (man and man, woman and woman, man and multiple wives, etc) raising any number of children as long as they love and care for these children.

    There will never be just one ideal. Everybody is different which means that everybody's ideals are different.
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
    If all the wives are consenting adults, why not? I don't have a problem with polygamy, or bigamy or any other marriage that isn't the standard man and wife. As long as it involves consenting adults, who cares?

    Children born of these consenting adults may care.

    Or they may not care at all....
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Honestly these were not the best people to present a polygamous marriage to mainstream America. Cody (the husband) is a child. Mentally and I presume emotionally.

    His wives seem to be a wee bit messed up themselves. The one stated she is a second wife because the thought of being alone with a man scared her. Does that seem healthy? No. No it really doesn't.

    I find myself feeling sorry for his first wife all the time. She seems unhappy. All around unhappy.

    I don't have anything against any of them as people but what I've seen on the show does not seem like a healthy relationship to me (I say this realizing I have only seen heavily edited clips of their lives... I'm just saying the clips haven't really shown them in an entirely favorable light).

    And on top of that why bother being together? They all live in separate areas. They all lead their own lives. Each family unit has different rules for the children (or at least that's what I saw on the episodes I watched). They are not a cohesive unit but separate units claiming the same husband. The children seem to be growing up almost in single family homes, except for when they have their 'dad' week'. They seem to come together only when it's needed. Really this relationship seems to be mainly for Cody's benefit. When he gets bored - NEW WIFE! Yay! He's not bored anymore.

    Disclaimer: I have no thoughts about polygamy. I'm neither for nor against. I just don't like the dynamics of this particular family.

    Ok I can't read 200 posts but this is spot on. I've seen enough of that show to know that guy's a walking hard-on with a raging narcissism problem. Horrible to see the first wife slump away, feeling guilty & self-conscious about 'her jealousy problem', when it's clear he won't even make eye contact with her. The wives that aren't newest suffer, and absolutely the kids are conflicted.

    I'm not bothered about prohibiting it, but it's a ridiculous, woman-hating conceit couched in a bunch of bull****.

    Makes me think of, oh, I'll start another thread on it, it deserves it.

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