An observation about MFP posters...

tristahenry
tristahenry Posts: 175
in Chit-Chat
I was on MFP over a year ago and found it to be a super helpful site for tracking diet and exercise. I also found the community to be full of supportive people who gave helpful advice, motivation and camaraderie. Even those people who gave out "tough love" did it in a respectful way. After a major injury and a pregnancy I stopped logging and participating on MFP. Now that I'm back on MFP I've been lurking through the community and see a ton of disrespectful comments towards the original poster as well as towards other people who have commented on the post. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who still hold true to my past experiences and the site is still very helpful but... wow there sure are a lot of people out there who are jerks to each other. I have been lucky enough to not experience these people first hand on this go-round but I really feel for the people who have.

Did I just miss these folks the last time I was on?
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Replies

  • threeohtwo
    threeohtwo Posts: 153 Member
    The empty vessel makes the loudest sound - William Shakespeare :)

    Most people are very very very nice.
  • lynnypenny1982
    lynnypenny1982 Posts: 16
    It was like that on WW, too. Actually worse. WW allows people who aren't even on the WW program to sign-up and participate in their message boards. Some of those folks are awful to others. My guess is it is easier for them to be jerks, because they are just behind a computer. I wonder how they would be in real life, though.
  • GoldspursX3
    GoldspursX3 Posts: 516 Member
    Welcome to the internet.

    ETA: Not trying to be snarky OP. :wink:
  • junodog1
    junodog1 Posts: 4,792 Member
    You just have to blow them off. I do wish you could deleter comments from a thread you started though.
  • paxbfl
    paxbfl Posts: 391 Member
    I look at it this way... if I'm going to post publicly (or allow people access to my diary), I have to have a bit of a thick skin and expect some negative comments.

    That said, most of the comments I've received here have been overwhelmingly positive and supportive. They more than make up for the occasional negative remark.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    Actually, I was on MFP almost two years ago (it's how I lost my first 30lbs). I was here when things started going from helpful and supportive to rude and snarky. It was the snark that drove me off the forums.

    I returned because I couldn't lose weight without MFP and here I am in the forums again. Things are definitely way less friendly then they were before but I guess with more users there comes a greater diversity and with diversity comes adversity.

    It's unfortunate but you'll just have to remember the old MFP fondly and learn how to use the ignore button. :)
  • belladonna786
    belladonna786 Posts: 1,165 Member
    Uh oh...
  • brentrhodes
    brentrhodes Posts: 139
    OP, that's the primary reason I stay out of the forums. People can be so ugly. I think it's just a sign of the disease that is poor living; i.e. bad diet, lack of exercise, etc.. Everything seems to take on a negative spin when someone feels bad about themselves. When we feel bad physically or emotionally, even someone else's joy can be perceived as negative. I just try to avoid threads that could bring negative comments. It's hard to bite my tongue when someone is acting like a clown. lol!
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    It's always been like this to me. I must have joined right after the "good ol' days" ended.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I hope you realize that you just asked them to come introduce themselves.
  • dorianaldyn
    dorianaldyn Posts: 611 Member
    Maybe I'm jaded from other forums, but I find people on here tread far lighter than people do on other forums. Weight loss and fitness can be so all encompassing to a person and I think overall people on here tend to be sensitive to others' feelings. I've seen pictures on here of people that are dangerously thin, I've seen people make excuse after excuse for themselves and post complaining that they're not getting anywhere and I've seen people make the most ill-informed comments and yet responders are generally nice, supportive and not mean.
  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
    The only time I've seen really rude posters is when somebody is being just plain dense, like defending a 700-calorie-per-day goal.
  • _JR_
    _JR_ Posts: 830 Member
    Honestly, even the people who think they are the "innocent victims" can be just as ugly as anyone else with their comments. Just watch the comments that follow - people will come in here, and agree with you about all the "meanies", and turn around and throw around insults.

    One of the biggest problems I have with people who complain about how bad things are, is that most of the time the examples they use about someone being mean or snarky just turn out to be about another poster who simply didn't agree with their comment. In the land of MFP, not agreeing makes you and a-hole, bully, snark, or meanie! Some people's kids! :grumble:
  • CM9178
    CM9178 Posts: 1,251 Member
    It's always been like this to me. I must have joined right after the "good ol' days" ended.
    same here
  • IamBlackMamba
    IamBlackMamba Posts: 229
    I hope you realize that you just asked them to come introduce themselves.

    She speaks the truth.
  • TheCaren
    TheCaren Posts: 894 Member
    MFP is just a slice of real life. Some people are nice, and some are *kitten*. You take what you want and leave the rest.
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
    It was like that on WW, too. Actually worse. WW allows people who aren't even on the WW program to sign-up and participate in their message boards. Some of those folks are awful to others. My guess is it is easier for them to be jerks, because they are just behind a computer. I wonder how they would be in real life, though.

    Seriously...WW was a nightmare...you think it's rough around here...check that place out.


    The internet as a whole includes both people you speak of...as does real life. Just because one person is here to be sunshine and rainbows and cheer everyone on, doesn't mean the next person is. And at the end of the day, does it really matter to your goals? No...befriend the people you want, ignore the rest, and achieve awesomeness.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    well, I've been here a bit longer, and honestly not that much has changed as far as what's out there.....maybe your first time around was with limited interaction....but to me it's always been like this \m/
  • bradthemedic
    bradthemedic Posts: 623 Member
    The ignore button is very useful.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    I hope you realize that you just asked them to come introduce themselves.

    I see what you did there.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    Honestly, even the people who think they are the "innocent victims" can be just as ugly as anyone else with their comments. Just watch the comments that follow - people will come in here, and agree with you about all the "meanies", and turn around and throw around insults.

    One of the biggest problems I have with people who complain about how bad things are, is that most of the time the examples they use about someone being mean or snarky just turn out to be about another poster who simply didn't agree with their comment. In the land of MFP, not agreeing makes you and a-hole, bully, snark, or meanie! Some people's kids! :grumble:

    Yep. It's usually the "kind, supportive, caring folk" who run around reporting every thread and poster they don't like. If you say you really enjoy Thanksgiving one of those "kind, caring" people will report you because you don't understand how hard it is to try to control your eating. Yep. No lie.

    The internet is like life. Not everyone is nice. But for some reason people expect the thousands and thousands of members here to all be their friends and love them.

    Not once have I ever heard anyone walk into their office and proclaim, "You know.. not everyone here is a nice person!" Of course not, that would be crazy. But for some reason people expect it here.
  • laura_lynn66
    laura_lynn66 Posts: 175
    I just stay in the "Recipes" forums....never any meanness there..I guess because we are talking about FOOD all the time and food makes people warm and fuzzy :)
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I hope you realize that you just asked them to come introduce themselves.

    :laugh: :love:
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    Just break up.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    Just break up.

    I was waiting for you! :laugh:
  • NocturnalGirl
    NocturnalGirl Posts: 1,762
    Here we go again
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    Just break up.

    I was waiting for you! :laugh:

    :blushing:
  • _skittybang
    _skittybang Posts: 970 Member
    Not once have I ever heard anyone walk into their office and proclaim, "You know.. not everyone here is a nice person!" Of course not, that would be crazy. But for some reason people expect it here.

    I must test this...
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
    Just break up.

    I was waiting for you! :laugh:

    Ha...I actually was expecting to see her post, and I'm not even friends with her! =p
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
    Here we go again

    on our ownnnn
    goin down the only road we've ever knownnnnnnnnnnn

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