An observation about MFP posters...

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Replies

  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
    Seeing as this is like the 51270571295782398th post just like this....you'll probably get a lot of....."negative" feedback.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    Didn't read all the replies, so if this was said - oops - this is for the OP:

    Look at this thread as a way to add to your "Ignore User" list. To ignore someone (you won't see them any more) click the little arrow next to their user name in the forum. A drop-down box appears, click "Ignore". Ta-da. :drinker: You won't see their posts any more.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Yep. It's usually the "kind, supportive, caring folk" who run around reporting every thread and poster they don't like.

    Their mamas never told them not be tattle-tales.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I guess I'm just not a sensitive person. I think it's perfect. The forums contain a ood amount of humor and snark, good solid information, and a lot of mis-information that comes off as authoritative. In other owrds, it's like any other forum I've been on. I don't get why people think this place is so mean.

    However, I do understand that I am different than a lot of other people.

    I'll tell my little story here. I was talking to a business assocaite and we were discussing theories over a few beers. The theories had to do with the way in which clients view their experience and how you deliver on that in order to create a great experience. We got into kind of a heated debate about a few aspects of it where we didn't agree. I thought it was awesome and I thought a lot about what we talked about and even incorporated a few minor changes into my business as a result. Later, through the grapevine, I heard talk that he thought I was a @$$hole, and he doesn't care if I die, or something pretty much like that. I laughed when I heard that. To me, the conversation was super engaging, interesting, and I actually implemented some stuff form it. To him, it was abusive, lame, pointless, and I was just a big @$$hole.

    The difference is that I am open minded, but I like to see their reasoning and defnse for it, but I still argue my point to exhaustion. But, later, I think and percolate and add the new information I learned and make a decision about if it's valid or not. I might even discuss with others and get feedback. He just thinks he's right, and that is the end. Or, that questioning him is somehow saying he's wrong. i don't know because I don't know how that thought process works.

    But, this is the best way I can describe what happens. It's just like water off a ducks back. I say what I say, I read what others say, I decide and move on. No one is attacking me, they are challenging what I said, but not me. There's a big difference. Many people don't understand and they think it's the same thing and it's not.

    So, for the future, I'm never attacking any person. But, I might challenge what you say. And, if I snark or make a joke, just roll your eyes, or laugh, but don't get butt hurt because it's not worth it. I just go on about my day. You should too.
  • perfectingpatti
    perfectingpatti Posts: 1,037 Member
    wow there sure are a lot of people out there who are jerks to each other.
    You also have to understand that you may not know if the people appearing to be jerks to each other are actually friends and just messing with each other. I called one of my friends a snarky bi$ch the other day in a thread and someone reported it and I got a warning. I called her that because she was joking on her wall about being one. Like, I called Brett a jerk in a thread and told him I was going to kick his @ss for something. If you saw that and didn't "know" us, you'd think I was being rude when actually it's just joking.
  • gsager
    gsager Posts: 977 Member
    Welcome back
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    Honestly, even the people who think they are the "innocent victims" can be just as ugly as anyone else with their comments. Just watch the comments that follow - people will come in here, and agree with you about all the "meanies", and turn around and throw around insults.

    One of the biggest problems I have with people who complain about how bad things are, is that most of the time the examples they use about someone being mean or snarky just turn out to be about another poster who simply didn't agree with their comment. In the land of MFP, not agreeing makes you and a-hole, bully, snark, or meanie! Some people's kids! :grumble:

    Yep. It's usually the "kind, supportive, caring folk" who run around reporting every thread and poster they don't like. If you say you really enjoy Thanksgiving one of those "kind, caring" people will report you because you don't understand how hard it is to try to control your eating. Yep. No lie.

    The internet is like life. Not everyone is nice. But for some reason people expect the thousands and thousands of members here to all be their friends and love them.

    Not once have I ever heard anyone walk into their office and proclaim, "You know.. not everyone here is a nice person!" Of course not, that would be crazy. But for some reason people expect it here.

    This exactly. It constantly amazes me that people seems to think that on the internet everyone should be hearts and flowers. If you dont like someone skip there post. If you dont like the topic in a thread dont read it .It s really very simple

    what i think this thread is really missing is the spelling police.

    it's "their" not "there" :bigsmile:

    spellingpolice1.png

    PS - sorry OP, you kind of invited this to happen to your thread.
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    I see a lot of that too. I think there are 2 reasons for it:

    1) People who are successful can start to think they know everything, and bash people who are going about it in a different way.
    2) A lot of people are insecure, and that can be transferred into happily anonymous snarky-ness.

    I just take people's opinions with a grain of salt, and when I have a real question, turn to a professional. There are SO many great (And free) resources out there.

    I noticed a lot of people in category 1. I find them irritating.

    I don't find it any nastier than other internet forums I'm on though. It's the nature of the internet.
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    Didn't read all the replies, so if this was said - oops - this is for the OP:

    Look at this thread as a way to add to your "Ignore User" list. To ignore someone (you won't see them any more) click the little arrow next to their user name in the forum. A drop-down box appears, click "Ignore". Ta-da. :drinker: You won't see their posts any more.


    I was going to ask where this "Ignore Button" was. Thanks for answering it before I asked.

    And now that we've posted in the same thread twice in a row now, I hope you don't consider me to be stalking you and you ignore me. :tongue:
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    When I first started, I thought there were some mean people here too.

    And then I realized that they aren't mean, they're just tired of providing the same common-sense, well-researched, solid advice over and over and over only to be told that they are wrong and they're bullies if they don't offer flowers and rounds of applause when someone posts a bad idea or pity party.

    And....since I got myself and my opinions in check and added several of them to my friends list, I can plainly see that they are great people who really truly want to help. And they keep providing advice (over and over) despite being reported and messaged and blamed for the "meanness."

    So, you'll find a lot of people here to be blunt, matter-of-fact and maybe offering advice that you don't agree with. But if you take the time to read their posts and see how much they try to help, you'll probably be surprised to learn that they aren't mean at all.
  • michelejoann
    michelejoann Posts: 295 Member
    ...and then some people are lurkers, like me.

    I'll read all the ridiculousness on here for entertainment value, have a good hearty laugh...maybe comment...and then call it a day.

    But seriously, though...it can be like high school on here. Some people never left.

    I say, screw what everyone else thinks. Do this for YOU. :smile:
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    Plus, it's all subjective. One person's funny joke is another person's cruel jab. Watch:

    "So you think that avatar of a beloved children's character abusing cookie dough like it was heroin is funny do you? My son died of a heroin overdose, I don't think it's something to joke about. I wish rude people like you would just get off this site. <report>"

    So watch who you side with. I prefer the company of people who can take a joke without getting their knickers in a twist.

    Wait... you wear knickers?

    He's wearing mine...he likes them twisty like.

    Wait...I thought Swanny proved with SCIENCE that you don't wear knickers under your uniform....

    how did Brett get them?

    :huh:
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    I like ice-cream!
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    The ignore button is very useful.

    I have yet to use the ignore botton on here to see what it does, but on another forum I'm on it's pretty useless. The posts of users on ignore just show up blank, but if someone quotes them, you can see it anyway. Also, it's very easy to get around that ignore when curious anyway.
  • SmexAppeal
    SmexAppeal Posts: 858 Member
    OP, that's the primary reason I stay out of the forums. People can be so ugly. I think it's just a sign of the disease that is poor living; i.e. bad diet, lack of exercise, etc.. Everything seems to take on a negative spin when someone feels bad about themselves. When we feel bad physically or emotionally, even someone else's joy can be perceived as negative. I just try to avoid threads that could bring negative comments. It's hard to bite my tongue when someone is acting like a clown. lol!

    ^^This guy is a freakin genius!
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
    ITT: People have just discovered how people act on the internet.
  • flabbyjay
    flabbyjay Posts: 95 Member
    I like ice-cream!

    Are you going to eat some on Thanksgiving because OMG Iam so worried about what I am going to do Thursday!!!
  • _crafty_
    _crafty_ Posts: 1,682 Member
    <~~ you see the little drop down arrow next to my username? well if you click on it you have the option to "ignore user". this little trick comes in handy when you come in contact with those people that you feel are being rude/snarky/not helpful. give it a try some time. if you click it often enough, eventually you'll be left with the people that do nothing but spew unicorn *kitten* and rainbows all day long.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    I like ice-cream!

    I love lamp!
  • michelejoann
    michelejoann Posts: 295 Member
    I like turtles.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    It's been that way since I joined. It seems to mostly be the members following some strict diet protocol, whether it's vegan or Paleo or eat X grams of protein, and the "look at my abs! If you don't eat like me you'll be skinny fat and never look good naked" crowd.

    Those that are really just here to improve/maintain weight and health are usually pretty supportive.

    There are paleo people like this? Where? I've been here over a year and haven't found any like that...and I've been looking for them. Please provide a list of names so I can send them FRs.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    When I first started, I thought there were some mean people here too.

    And then I realized that they aren't mean, they're just tired of providing the same common-sense, well-researched, solid advice over and over and over only to be told that they are wrong and they're bullies if they don't offer flowers and rounds of applause when someone posts a bad idea or pity party.

    And....since I got myself and my opinions in check and added several of them to my friends list, I can plainly see that they are great people who really truly want to help. And they keep providing advice (over and over) despite being reported and messaged and blamed for the "meanness."

    So, you'll find a lot of people here to be blunt, matter-of-fact and maybe offering advice that you don't agree with. But if you take the time to read their posts and see how much they try to help, you'll probably be surprised to learn that they aren't mean at all.

    ^ this. :flowerforyou:

    she is absolutely right about 99.9% of the people here.

    i'm pretty new here, but i've been around the block a few times on the intertubes. this site is really NOT full of the same sorts of jerks you see elsewhere. alot of people are not anonymous and are willing to back up all of the advice they give with details and facts and personal anecdotes. you just have to take the time to contact them privately to see that they really are willing to help everyone, otherwise why would they be here.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    I like ice-cream!

    Are you going to eat some on Thanksgiving because OMG Iam so worried about what I am going to do Thursday!!!

    I eat it every day.....I am just going to eat more, and on cheesecake on Thursday.
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
    Here we go again

    on our ownnnn
    goin down the only road we've ever knownnnnnnnnnnn

    Like a TWISTER I was born to walk aloneeeeeeeeeeee ;)
  • Bob314159
    Bob314159 Posts: 1,178 Member
    The only rough stuff I see is on certain hot topics - like starvation mode or people getting jumped for posting "authorative" incorrect information when they clearly have no idea what they are talking about.

    There is far less hitting on people that post questions that they were too lazy to do a search for. Other forums you get kicked mauled and bullied for that.
  • PJ64
    PJ64 Posts: 866 Member
    . My guess is it is easier for them to be jerks, because they are just behind a computer. I wonder how they would be in real life, though.

    I told my sons when they started getting online "If you can't say it to someones face in real life, DON'T say it online"
  • IamBlackMamba
    IamBlackMamba Posts: 229
    I see a lot of that too. I think there are 2 reasons for it:

    1) People who are successful can start to think they know everything, and bash people who are going about it in a different way.
    2) A lot of people are insecure, and that can be transferred into happily anonymous snarky-ness.

    I just take people's opinions with a grain of salt, and when I have a real question, turn to a professional. There are SO many great (And free) resources out there.

    I noticed a lot of people in category 1. I find them irritating.

    I don't find it any nastier than other internet forums I'm on though. It's the nature of the internet


    So you think people who have finally succeed in hitting their goal are irritating or, are you irritated they hit their goal and you may have not?

    This site is for anyone who wants to use it. We don't all have to like each other or get along but comments like that are just rude. I hit my goal two weeks ago but am still striving for more improvement and support people at any place along their path. that's my choice.

    I find your comment judgemental and I feel bad for you that you can't be happy for those who reached their goal. You might find yourself with less people who would've been happy for you when you reach yours.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    <~~ you see the little drop down arrow next to my username? well if you click on it you have the option to "ignore user". this little trick comes in handy when you come in contact with those people that you feel are being rude/snarky/not helpful. give it a try some time. if you click it often enough, eventually you'll be left with the people that do nothing but spew unicorn *kitten* and rainbows all day long.

    There are people spewing unicorn **** and rainbows? Damn, I must have been ignoring all the wrong people!
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    When I first started, I thought there were some mean people here too.

    And then I realized that they aren't mean, they're just tired of providing the same common-sense, well-researched, solid advice over and over and over only to be told that they are wrong and they're bullies if they don't offer flowers and rounds of applause when someone posts a bad idea or pity party.

    And....since I got myself and my opinions in check and added several of them to my friends list, I can plainly see that they are great people who really truly want to help. And they keep providing advice (over and over) despite being reported and messaged and blamed for the "meanness."

    So, you'll find a lot of people here to be blunt, matter-of-fact and maybe offering advice that you don't agree with. But if you take the time to read their posts and see how much they try to help, you'll probably be surprised to learn that they aren't mean at all.

    Quoted because it's spot on.

    Most of the people who gave me help and great advice when I started here have since been banned. Why? Because someone posts "I'm gonna do a 14 day cabbage soup diet to kick start my metabolism!!", someone explains why this is not a good idea, and then it's all "Why isn't this site supportive waaaah!!"

    Wanna find people on this site who have lost weight, know what they're talking about and are willing to help? Simple. Find people who've been banned.
  • Melaniec78
    Melaniec78 Posts: 259 Member
    I've noticed a huge change in the past year since the site gained more popularity. And to the ones who say 'it's the internet get over it'. I say it's the internet most people have less inhibition and think about what these people 'may or may not' be like in real person. And then just laugh and ignore it!!! :laugh:

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