An observation about MFP posters...
Replies
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...and then some people are lurkers, like me.
I'll read all the ridiculousness on here for entertainment value, have a good hearty laugh...maybe comment...and then call it a day.
But seriously, though...it can be like high school on here. Some people never left.
I say, screw what everyone else thinks. Do this for YOU.
This ^^^^0 -
Keep in mind, that only a 'real friend' will tell you the truth! You must see all criticism as 'positive' as it leads to self-evaluation. You are always free to reject it or as mentioned before hit the 'ignore' button! Pure and simple!0
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When I first started, I thought there were some mean people here too.
And then I realized that they aren't mean, they're just tired of providing the same common-sense, well-researched, solid advice over and over and over only to be told that they are wrong and they're bullies if they don't offer flowers and rounds of applause when someone posts a bad idea or pity party.
And....since I got myself and my opinions in check and added several of them to my friends list, I can plainly see that they are great people who really truly want to help. And they keep providing advice (over and over) despite being reported and messaged and blamed for the "meanness."
So, you'll find a lot of people here to be blunt, matter-of-fact and maybe offering advice that you don't agree with. But if you take the time to read their posts and see how much they try to help, you'll probably be surprised to learn that they aren't mean at all.
Quoted because it's spot on.
Most of the people who gave me help and great advice when I started here have since been banned. Why? Because someone posts "I'm gonna do a 14 day cabbage soup diet to kick start my metabolism!!", someone explains why this is not a good idea, and then it's all "Why isn't this site supportive waaaah!!"
Wanna find people on this site who have lost weight, know what they're talking about and are willing to help? Simple. Find people who've been banned.
So True.... I had to quote both!0 -
:drinker:Plus, it's all subjective. One person's funny joke is another person's cruel jab. Watch:
"So you think that avatar of a beloved children's character abusing cookie dough like it was heroin is funny do you? My son died of a heroin overdose, I don't think it's something to joke about. I wish rude people like you would just get off this site. <report>"
So watch who you side with. I prefer the company of people who can take a joke without getting their knickers in a twist.0 -
It's been that way since I joined. It seems to mostly be the members following some strict diet protocol, whether it's vegan or Paleo or eat X grams of protein, and the "look at my abs! If you don't eat like me you'll be skinny fat and never look good naked" crowd.
Those that are really just here to improve/maintain weight and health are usually pretty supportive.
There are paleo people like this? Where? I've been here over a year and haven't found any like that...and I've been looking for them. Please provide a list of names so I can send them FRs.
Not sure if serious...0 -
I was on MFP about a year to two years ago and it started becoming snarky and rude lol and the interesting thing is that once I came back after pregnancy, I now have a really good support system of friends then I had before and that is a great thing!!!!!!! Also i figure I gotta start toughing up my skin and once I realized that is when i got the mojo of posting on forums and some of the comments are funny while others are just :huh: or :explode: so maybe i'm the weird one :laugh:0
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I see a lot of that too. I think there are 2 reasons for it:
1) People who are successful can start to think they know everything, and bash people who are going about it in a different way.
2) A lot of people are insecure, and that can be transferred into happily anonymous snarky-ness.
I just take people's opinions with a grain of salt, and when I have a real question, turn to a professional. There are SO many great (And free) resources out there.
I noticed a lot of people in category 1. I find them irritating.
I don't find it any nastier than other internet forums I'm on though. It's the nature of the internet
So you think people who have finally succeed in hitting their goal are irritating or, are you irritated they hit their goal and you may have not?
This site is for anyone who wants to use it. We don't all have to like each other or get along but comments like that are just rude. I hit my goal two weeks ago but am still striving for more improvement and support people at any place along their path. that's my choice.
I find your comment judgemental and I feel bad for you that you can't be happy for those who reached their goal. You might find yourself with less people who would've been happy for you when you reach yours.
Also not sure if serious...
If so, the problem wasn't/isn't with people that have met their goals - it's that *certain* people that have met their goals only use the anecdotal evidence that what they did that worked for them is the ONLY way to go.0 -
I agre with th OP. There are alot of nice people here, AND some bullies. The only person I can control is myself--so I have to start there!0
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It was like that on WW, too. Actually worse. WW allows people who aren't even on the WW program to sign-up and participate in their message boards. Some of those folks are awful to others. My guess is it is easier for them to be jerks, because they are just behind a computer. I wonder how they would be in real life, though.0
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It was like that on WW, too. Actually worse. WW allows people who aren't even on the WW program to sign-up and participate in their message boards. Some of those folks are awful to others. My guess is it is easier for them to be jerks, because they are just behind a computer. I wonder how they would be in real life, though.
I whole heartedly agree. The snarkiness is a bit less and .... I don't pay for it!
Jane0 -
We need to learn to harvest the energy of butt-hurt. MFP could power the world!0
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OP, that's the primary reason I stay out of the forums. People can be so ugly. I think it's just a sign of the disease that is poor living; i.e. bad diet, lack of exercise, etc.. Everything seems to take on a negative spin when someone feels bad about themselves. When we feel bad physically or emotionally, even someone else's joy can be perceived as negative. I just try to avoid threads that could bring negative comments. It's hard to bite my tongue when someone is acting like a clown. lol!
I too stay out of forums. I'm afraid that someone will make a harsh remark towards me and deter my weight loss. I know I should not give them the "power" but I do!0 -
I see a lot of that too. I think there are 2 reasons for it:
1) People who are successful can start to think they know everything, and bash people who are going about it in a different way.
2) A lot of people are insecure, and that can be transferred into happily anonymous snarky-ness.
I just take people's opinions with a grain of salt, and when I have a real question, turn to a professional. There are SO many great (And free) resources out there.
I noticed a lot of people in category 1. I find them irritating.
I don't find it any nastier than other internet forums I'm on though. It's the nature of the internet
So you think people who have finally succeed in hitting their goal are irritating or, are you irritated they hit their goal and you may have not?
This site is for anyone who wants to use it. We don't all have to like each other or get along but comments like that are just rude. I hit my goal two weeks ago but am still striving for more improvement and support people at any place along their path. that's my choice.
I find your comment judgemental and I feel bad for you that you can't be happy for those who reached their goal. You might find yourself with less people who would've been happy for you when you reach yours.
Also not sure if serious...
If so, the problem wasn't/isn't with people that have met their goals - it's that *certain* people that have met their goals only use the anecdotal evidence that what they did that worked for them is the ONLY way to go.
whatever that's just that one lady0 -
We need to learn to harvest the energy of butt-hurt. MFP could power the world!
bwahaha! I need that for work0 -
OP, that's the primary reason I stay out of the forums. People can be so ugly. I think it's just a sign of the disease that is poor living; i.e. bad diet, lack of exercise, etc.. Everything seems to take on a negative spin when someone feels bad about themselves. When we feel bad physically or emotionally, even someone else's joy can be perceived as negative. I just try to avoid threads that could bring negative comments. It's hard to bite my tongue when someone is acting like a clown. lol!
I too stay out of forums. I'm afraid that someone will make a harsh remark towards me and deter my weight loss. I know I should not give them the "power" but I do!
If one person's snarky remark is enough to cause you to miss your goals, there are other things you should be focusing on darlin.0 -
I'll give you a quick piece of advice- 99% of what you believe someone means behind what they write is YOUR perception. There is zero tone or inflection in the written word, so unless you know someone, you cannot accurately judge what tone they are typing in.
With that being said- some of the most knowledgeable and amazing people on here, also happen to be some of the most sarcastic @ssholes that I know. And I love them for it! Sometimes people need to let off steam! I am sure 99% of the "mean" people you read about are those getting bashed by uninformed users who are mad that no one agreed with them and get whiny and start reporting everyone. We are all adults here (mostly), if you have an issue with what someone has said, you can always message them and talk about it like adults instead of running off to the mods and reporting them. I have seen WAY to many amazing people get banned because people are looking to justify there sense of rightness by "sticking it" to someone that isn't being mean- they are just not agreeing with them.. People especially hate it when you use Science!
So as others have stated, take things with a grain of salt, if you are offended easily, stay out of most of the chit chat, fun and game threads, ignore those that you don't gel with, and friend those that are like minded.
The internet isn't utopia...0 -
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Been here a while. MFP Forums are no different, and have been no different than any other online forum I frequent or have frequented since the internet was a thing. Nor is it much different than any organization I've been apart of in real life.0 -
I don't find it to be all that bad. I will generally lurk about the discussions, get a feel for the direction it's going, and decide whether to post or not. Mostly it's entertainment for me. I've 'met' some pretty awesome people here.0
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People are not snarky, they are hangry. This anger is the direct result of hunger, usually from people who are on the previously mentioned 700 calorie diets. At night they turn into trolls and write rude comments full of typos on every post on the boards.
ETA: am I the only one who noticed how many people here responded with "I usually stay out of the forums"? Umm, hellooo...irony calling :noway:0 -
I take it all in stride.
So much doesn't translate into text. Personality, tone, sarcasm (<---this is big for me because sarcasm is very much a part of my everyday humour).
If someone says something I don't agree with or I would have said differently, big deal. We are all individuals, all have completely different pasts and upbringings and events that have formed us into who we are. It's nothing personal - in fact I might vomit if it was all rainbows and unicorns in every post. :sick:0 -
I don't find it to be all that bad. I will generally lurk about the discussions, get a feel for the direction it's going, and decide whether to post or not. Mostly it's entertainment for me. I've 'met' some pretty awesome people here.
ditto. I like reading what everyone has to offer, but I often don't comment if I don't know enough about the subject because I don't want to sound stupid or give advice to someone who can't tell I have no idea what I'm talking about haha.0 -
<~~ you see the little drop down arrow next to my username? well if you click on it you have the option to "ignore user". this little trick comes in handy when you come in contact with those people that you feel are being rude/snarky/not helpful. give it a try some time. if you click it often enough, eventually you'll be left with the people that do nothing but spew unicorn *kitten* and rainbows all day long.
Thanks. I was wondering where the magical 'ignore' button resides.0 -
["You can't ignore your own posts."]
D'oh! :grumble:0 -
It's been that way since I joined. It seems to mostly be the members following some strict diet protocol, whether it's vegan or Paleo or eat X grams of protein, and the "look at my abs! If you don't eat like me you'll be skinny fat and never look good naked" crowd.
Those that are really just here to improve/maintain weight and health are usually pretty supportive.
There are paleo people like this? Where? I've been here over a year and haven't found any like that...and I've been looking for them. Please provide a list of names so I can send them FRs.
Ha Ha0 -
I think there are the tough love types....you know sometimes we really need to hear the hard and fast truth, and be willing to accept it in order to make the change.
Then there are the types that really want to help, but have issues in their own lives that can cause a post to seem abrupt or even mean, or have their messages get out of hand because they have difficulty letting go of their own issues.
Then there are the trolls. These guys (and girls) are on lots of sites and are just out to hurt and be mean. This is often intentional, and they get their jollies out of it.
I haven't seen too many trolls here thankfully.
I guess the best thing you can do is either take the best out of the post you can or ignore it. But it's not a bad idea to think about why a particular post bothers you. I find that when I'm particularly upset about something someone says, it's because I recognize that there is some truth to it and it's usually some work I need to do about how I feel about the comment (not necessarily about the comment itself)...for example, I got very upset when I got called a fat pig. I realized that was how I thought about myself, and it hurt that someone else called me what I thought about myself. Now I know I'm not a pig, but in all honesty, with more than 100 lbs to lose, yes, I am fat! That is fact so now that comment doesn't bother me. Now I'm doing something about it, so that comment generally wouldn't bother me anymore, though others might.
If you find this forum valuable, don't let anything drive you away. Report a post if you need to, ignore it if that's possible, examine it if you think there is value....0 -
Brett is absolutely owning this thread, as usual :drinker:
Also, as others have said: so much of this is perception. People perceive something challenging their held beliefs as a personal affront. Just look for a random YouTube kitten video to see a pages long debate of religion, politics, and/or whether Lady Gaga is better than Madonna.
The thing is, many of those beliefs are subjective (to a point >_>). Science leaves less room for subjectivity, and that includes fitness and nutrition. It seems like people aren't big fans of objectivity, so when they read a heavily biased blog post, or post potentially dangerous information, people who are objective are going to step in.
Cue, like those YouTube videos, a flame war.
The problem is that not enough people are objective. About themselves, about the world, etc. They see someone disagree with them and it turns a debate (debate can be healthy) into a fight (not the most healthy thing).
And so much of this "why is everyone so mean here?!" is, again, a matter of perception. Intent is incredibly difficult to read on the internet. I found myself acknowledging a change in point and agreeing with someone in a forum thread a few weeks ago and was met with a super offensive response, because they thought I was being sarcastic since we had been on opposing viewpoints. I was legitimately saying, "See! You clarified your point! Thank you!" and they said, "Do you know how much of a ***** you sound like?"
So, no, I don't think this is an accurate analysis of MFP, even though I've only been on here a year. I think, just like people have misunderstandings in "real life," people misread intent all.the.time.
And if you're thinking "trolling" on here is bad, you must be new to the interwebs
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<~~ you see the little drop down arrow next to my username? well if you click on it you have the option to "ignore user". this little trick comes in handy when you come in contact with those people that you feel are being rude/snarky/not helpful. give it a try some time. if you click it often enough, eventually you'll be left with the people that do nothing but spew unicorn *kitten* and rainbows all day long.
@crafty-will you be my friend??? :drinker: :smokin: :devil:0 -
It's been that way since I joined. It seems to mostly be the members following some strict diet protocol, whether it's vegan or Paleo or eat X grams of protein, and the "look at my abs! If you don't eat like me you'll be skinny fat and never look good naked" crowd.
Those that are really just here to improve/maintain weight and health are usually pretty supportive.
There are paleo people like this? Where? I've been here over a year and haven't found any like that...and I've been looking for them. Please provide a list of names so I can send them FRs.
Here is 2,165 of them: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/37-primal-paleo-support-group0 -
Maybe I miss a lot of threads but MFP is pretty tame.............go to a scuba diving site and start a thread about diving to 240fsw on air using a single 80cf aluminum tank; then come back and tell us what snarky is! :laugh:0
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ETA: am I the only one who noticed how many people here responded with "I usually stay out of the forums"? Umm, hellooo...irony calling :noway:
I noticed that too. Way funny! :laugh:0
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