An observation about MFP posters...

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  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    It's been that way since I joined. It seems to mostly be the members following some strict diet protocol, whether it's vegan or Paleo or eat X grams of protein, and the "look at my abs! If you don't eat like me you'll be skinny fat and never look good naked" crowd.

    Those that are really just here to improve/maintain weight and health are usually pretty supportive.

    There are paleo people like this? Where? I've been here over a year and haven't found any like that...and I've been looking for them. Please provide a list of names so I can send them FRs.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,735 Member
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    When I first started, I thought there were some mean people here too.

    And then I realized that they aren't mean, they're just tired of providing the same common-sense, well-researched, solid advice over and over and over only to be told that they are wrong and they're bullies if they don't offer flowers and rounds of applause when someone posts a bad idea or pity party.

    And....since I got myself and my opinions in check and added several of them to my friends list, I can plainly see that they are great people who really truly want to help. And they keep providing advice (over and over) despite being reported and messaged and blamed for the "meanness."

    So, you'll find a lot of people here to be blunt, matter-of-fact and maybe offering advice that you don't agree with. But if you take the time to read their posts and see how much they try to help, you'll probably be surprised to learn that they aren't mean at all.

    ^ this. :flowerforyou:

    she is absolutely right about 99.9% of the people here.

    i'm pretty new here, but i've been around the block a few times on the intertubes. this site is really NOT full of the same sorts of jerks you see elsewhere. alot of people are not anonymous and are willing to back up all of the advice they give with details and facts and personal anecdotes. you just have to take the time to contact them privately to see that they really are willing to help everyone, otherwise why would they be here.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    I like ice-cream!

    Are you going to eat some on Thanksgiving because OMG Iam so worried about what I am going to do Thursday!!!

    I eat it every day.....I am just going to eat more, and on cheesecake on Thursday.
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    Here we go again

    on our ownnnn
    goin down the only road we've ever knownnnnnnnnnnn

    Like a TWISTER I was born to walk aloneeeeeeeeeeee ;)
  • Bob314159
    Bob314159 Posts: 1,178 Member
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    The only rough stuff I see is on certain hot topics - like starvation mode or people getting jumped for posting "authorative" incorrect information when they clearly have no idea what they are talking about.

    There is far less hitting on people that post questions that they were too lazy to do a search for. Other forums you get kicked mauled and bullied for that.
  • PJ64
    PJ64 Posts: 866 Member
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    . My guess is it is easier for them to be jerks, because they are just behind a computer. I wonder how they would be in real life, though.

    I told my sons when they started getting online "If you can't say it to someones face in real life, DON'T say it online"
  • IamBlackMamba
    IamBlackMamba Posts: 229
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    I see a lot of that too. I think there are 2 reasons for it:

    1) People who are successful can start to think they know everything, and bash people who are going about it in a different way.
    2) A lot of people are insecure, and that can be transferred into happily anonymous snarky-ness.

    I just take people's opinions with a grain of salt, and when I have a real question, turn to a professional. There are SO many great (And free) resources out there.

    I noticed a lot of people in category 1. I find them irritating.

    I don't find it any nastier than other internet forums I'm on though. It's the nature of the internet


    So you think people who have finally succeed in hitting their goal are irritating or, are you irritated they hit their goal and you may have not?

    This site is for anyone who wants to use it. We don't all have to like each other or get along but comments like that are just rude. I hit my goal two weeks ago but am still striving for more improvement and support people at any place along their path. that's my choice.

    I find your comment judgemental and I feel bad for you that you can't be happy for those who reached their goal. You might find yourself with less people who would've been happy for you when you reach yours.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    <~~ you see the little drop down arrow next to my username? well if you click on it you have the option to "ignore user". this little trick comes in handy when you come in contact with those people that you feel are being rude/snarky/not helpful. give it a try some time. if you click it often enough, eventually you'll be left with the people that do nothing but spew unicorn *kitten* and rainbows all day long.

    There are people spewing unicorn **** and rainbows? Damn, I must have been ignoring all the wrong people!
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    When I first started, I thought there were some mean people here too.

    And then I realized that they aren't mean, they're just tired of providing the same common-sense, well-researched, solid advice over and over and over only to be told that they are wrong and they're bullies if they don't offer flowers and rounds of applause when someone posts a bad idea or pity party.

    And....since I got myself and my opinions in check and added several of them to my friends list, I can plainly see that they are great people who really truly want to help. And they keep providing advice (over and over) despite being reported and messaged and blamed for the "meanness."

    So, you'll find a lot of people here to be blunt, matter-of-fact and maybe offering advice that you don't agree with. But if you take the time to read their posts and see how much they try to help, you'll probably be surprised to learn that they aren't mean at all.

    Quoted because it's spot on.

    Most of the people who gave me help and great advice when I started here have since been banned. Why? Because someone posts "I'm gonna do a 14 day cabbage soup diet to kick start my metabolism!!", someone explains why this is not a good idea, and then it's all "Why isn't this site supportive waaaah!!"

    Wanna find people on this site who have lost weight, know what they're talking about and are willing to help? Simple. Find people who've been banned.
  • Melaniec78
    Melaniec78 Posts: 259 Member
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    I've noticed a huge change in the past year since the site gained more popularity. And to the ones who say 'it's the internet get over it'. I say it's the internet most people have less inhibition and think about what these people 'may or may not' be like in real person. And then just laugh and ignore it!!! :laugh:
  • Lazygal53
    Lazygal53 Posts: 294 Member
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    ...and then some people are lurkers, like me.

    I'll read all the ridiculousness on here for entertainment value, have a good hearty laugh...maybe comment...and then call it a day.

    But seriously, though...it can be like high school on here. Some people never left.

    I say, screw what everyone else thinks. Do this for YOU. :smile:

    This ^^^^
  • _EmmaStrong_
    _EmmaStrong_ Posts: 648 Member
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    Keep in mind, that only a 'real friend' will tell you the truth! You must see all criticism as 'positive' as it leads to self-evaluation. You are always free to reject it or as mentioned before hit the 'ignore' button! Pure and simple!
  • sz8soon
    sz8soon Posts: 816 Member
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    When I first started, I thought there were some mean people here too.

    And then I realized that they aren't mean, they're just tired of providing the same common-sense, well-researched, solid advice over and over and over only to be told that they are wrong and they're bullies if they don't offer flowers and rounds of applause when someone posts a bad idea or pity party.

    And....since I got myself and my opinions in check and added several of them to my friends list, I can plainly see that they are great people who really truly want to help. And they keep providing advice (over and over) despite being reported and messaged and blamed for the "meanness."

    So, you'll find a lot of people here to be blunt, matter-of-fact and maybe offering advice that you don't agree with. But if you take the time to read their posts and see how much they try to help, you'll probably be surprised to learn that they aren't mean at all.

    Quoted because it's spot on.

    Most of the people who gave me help and great advice when I started here have since been banned. Why? Because someone posts "I'm gonna do a 14 day cabbage soup diet to kick start my metabolism!!", someone explains why this is not a good idea, and then it's all "Why isn't this site supportive waaaah!!"

    Wanna find people on this site who have lost weight, know what they're talking about and are willing to help? Simple. Find people who've been banned.

    So True.... I had to quote both!
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
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    Plus, it's all subjective. One person's funny joke is another person's cruel jab. Watch:

    "So you think that avatar of a beloved children's character abusing cookie dough like it was heroin is funny do you? My son died of a heroin overdose, I don't think it's something to joke about. I wish rude people like you would just get off this site. <report>"

    So watch who you side with. I prefer the company of people who can take a joke without getting their knickers in a twist.
    :drinker:
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
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    It's been that way since I joined. It seems to mostly be the members following some strict diet protocol, whether it's vegan or Paleo or eat X grams of protein, and the "look at my abs! If you don't eat like me you'll be skinny fat and never look good naked" crowd.

    Those that are really just here to improve/maintain weight and health are usually pretty supportive.

    There are paleo people like this? Where? I've been here over a year and haven't found any like that...and I've been looking for them. Please provide a list of names so I can send them FRs.


    Not sure if serious...
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    I was on MFP about a year to two years ago and it started becoming snarky and rude lol and the interesting thing is that once I came back after pregnancy, I now have a really good support system of friends then I had before and that is a great thing!!!!!!! Also i figure I gotta start toughing up my skin and once I realized that is when i got the mojo of posting on forums and some of the comments are funny while others are just :huh: or :explode: so maybe i'm the weird one :laugh:
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
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    I see a lot of that too. I think there are 2 reasons for it:

    1) People who are successful can start to think they know everything, and bash people who are going about it in a different way.
    2) A lot of people are insecure, and that can be transferred into happily anonymous snarky-ness.

    I just take people's opinions with a grain of salt, and when I have a real question, turn to a professional. There are SO many great (And free) resources out there.

    I noticed a lot of people in category 1. I find them irritating.

    I don't find it any nastier than other internet forums I'm on though. It's the nature of the internet


    So you think people who have finally succeed in hitting their goal are irritating or, are you irritated they hit their goal and you may have not?

    This site is for anyone who wants to use it. We don't all have to like each other or get along but comments like that are just rude. I hit my goal two weeks ago but am still striving for more improvement and support people at any place along their path. that's my choice.

    I find your comment judgemental and I feel bad for you that you can't be happy for those who reached their goal. You might find yourself with less people who would've been happy for you when you reach yours.


    Also not sure if serious...

    If so, the problem wasn't/isn't with people that have met their goals - it's that *certain* people that have met their goals only use the anecdotal evidence that what they did that worked for them is the ONLY way to go.
  • pkoll
    pkoll Posts: 135 Member
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    I agre with th OP. There are alot of nice people here, AND some bullies. The only person I can control is myself--so I have to start there!
  • janehlansing
    janehlansing Posts: 54
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    It was like that on WW, too. Actually worse. WW allows people who aren't even on the WW program to sign-up and participate in their message boards. Some of those folks are awful to others. My guess is it is easier for them to be jerks, because they are just behind a computer. I wonder how they would be in real life, though.
  • janehlansing
    janehlansing Posts: 54
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    It was like that on WW, too. Actually worse. WW allows people who aren't even on the WW program to sign-up and participate in their message boards. Some of those folks are awful to others. My guess is it is easier for them to be jerks, because they are just behind a computer. I wonder how they would be in real life, though.


    I whole heartedly agree. The snarkiness is a bit less and .... I don't pay for it!

    Jane

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