Black Team Challenge Week Six!!!!!

SatelliteCrush80

SpongeMarla reporting in-- AKA The Michelin Man--

Lovely sodium-- up 6.5 pounds-- 6.5 pounds? Really?

How I wish I'd have eaten enough food to warrant such a gain--

Call me a cheater, but I'm not reporting my weight to our fearless leader-- my body is simply ridiculous and I'm not playing this little game today-- this time tomorrow most of it'll be gone again-- so, no freakin' way I'm gonna be stuck with a 6 pound gain for a week.

Need to type a bit-- later.

I'm a cheater too. I'm also not reporting. It seems silly to report a 2.5 loss one week, then a 3 pound gain the next, then a 3 pound loss the next.... and so on. I appreciate the praise from others when they see I lost 2 or 3 pounds, but I know it's just fluctuation and I'll be back up and then back down again.

I think maybe it's called maintaining. :ohwell:

Anyway, I took away my ticker last week, I'm working on accepting me where I am, I am very much part of this team, but I'm not sure it's productive to report my weight weekly. Sure it feels good to report a loss, but not so good to report it as a gain the next week. Part of the acceptance thing is learning to deal with natural ups and downs, I'm working on it.

So there you go Marla. I'm cheating too.

I have been cheating for at least 4 of the 6 weeks. Messes with my head too much.

Marla64

SpongeMarla reporting in-- AKA The Michelin Man--

Lovely sodium-- up 6.5 pounds-- 6.5 pounds? Really?

How I wish I'd have eaten enough food to warrant such a gain--

Call me a cheater, but I'm not reporting my weight to our fearless leader-- my body is simply ridiculous and I'm not playing this little game today-- this time tomorrow most of it'll be gone again-- so, no freakin' way I'm gonna be stuck with a 6 pound gain for a week.

Need to type a bit-- later.

I'm a cheater too. I'm also not reporting. It seems silly to report a 2.5 loss one week, then a 3 pound gain the next, then a 3 pound loss the next.... and so on. I appreciate the praise from others when they see I lost 2 or 3 pounds, but I know it's just fluctuation and I'll be back up and then back down again.

I think maybe it's called maintaining. :ohwell:

Anyway, I took away my ticker last week, I'm working on accepting me where I am, I am very much part of this team, but I'm not sure it's productive to report my weight weekly. Sure it feels good to report a loss, but not so good to report it as a gain the next week. Part of the acceptance thing is learning to deal with natural ups and downs, I'm working on it.

So there you go Marla. I'm cheating too.

I have been cheating for at least 4 of the 6 weeks. Messes with my head too much.

I think I'm with you, Lori....I'm 200% in this thing with all of you, but the weekly weigh ins are driving me batty. I've had losses to get me back where I was, but I'm going to bow out of the weigh ins. The water ups and downs send me apoplectic.

Tammy, my family was nutty, too, for sure. My parents were both AT&T employees, full-time...but my mother only went back to work full-time at the end of my father's fist. She begged him not to go back full-time, so she could be home when us kids got home from school, etc. He'd scream and shout, and fight and pout and bully and whine, and then beat the crud out of her....lovely stuff. She finally gave in.

Our already screwed up family continued to spiral out of control, and violence from sibling to sibling escalated....I was the youngest of four, and the only girl. You all know the expression of what flows downhill, yes? Oh my.... the abuse I endured. And my mother would not let me call her at work with "this *kitten*," because "her nerves couldn't take it." She never wanted to hear how I was getting the crap kicked out of me, and my father was feared thus unapproachable.

But, my dad was still the Little League dad, my mom the Brownie troop helper....at least before she went back to work full-time.

Still, as a kid, you don't know that EVERY family is not screwed up like this, so I never saw myself or my childhood as screwed up until many years later....I'm still dealing with it all, to some degree.

Like you, my husband has been my anchor. And, while I can't provide the material things that they may want, my husband and I decided early on that we'd go to our graves before leaving our children home without a mother during the day.

Ok....therapy time is over....off the couch!

Later, troops.

jimswmn

Ack ! The weather people are tracking a storm that is supposed to hit my area Monday with a possible 18-36 inches of snow. Seriously I have had enough snow to last a lifetime.

72lori

All the stories from the Black team. Really makes you think. I should have gone to school to be a social worker instead of a teacher. I have boatloads of compassion and I love to help people. I love to give things to others and do as often as I can. Granted with DH the only provider and 4 kids, my resources are somewhat limited, but I do what I can, when I can.

My childhood was pretty much the Brady Bunch, minus all the kids, but that kind of atmosphere. My parents never fought that I heard. They truly love each other, they get along, to this day they still walk through the mall holding hands. They built their house on 'family' land, so my grandparents lived directly across a stone driveway, my aunt and uncle live (still) right next door.

I always had the support of my family, my grandparents were a huge part of my life, my mom worked part time (at the top of the stone driveway at my great uncles construction company- she walked to work) and I stayed with my Nan. I loved that women. She was my everything.

I was spoiled, I admit it, my parent's didn't have loads of money, but I didn't do without anything, that's for sure. I can remember my Nan and Pap went 'to town' every Friday night and they always brought back something for me, clothes a lot of times. My mom paid Nan for keeping me and she in turn went out and bought me stuff with the money.

My sister is 8 years younger than me and my brother 10 years, I remember the devastation every time my mom had a miscarriage (3 of them) because I wanted a brother or sister so badly. I was so happy to finally have a sister. Because of the age difference it was almost like 2 families, I was more one of their caregivers than sibling.

Sometimes I think maybe I just remember it wrong, but my mom also says it's true. We were kids that just listened, did what we were supposed to, etc. I'm sure there were times here and there, but mostly, I did what I knew I should. If I did something I wasn't supposed to all it took was a look from my mom and I would be in tears, she didn't even have to say anything.

So there you go- perfect family, perfect childhood. Leads up to my adult life where all of a sudden I realize it's not all that easy to be that perfect everything. I felt like a failure when my first marriage fell apart. Growing up trying to duplicate what you saw as perfection and the way it's supposed to be isn't all that easy.

I still have the ideal white picket fence fairy tale life in my head, the way I think it should be based on the way I grew up. My life is good, but it's not perfect, by any means. Integrating two families, dealing with ex wives and ex husbands, step children, a husband that's gone as much as he's home, a husband who parents way differently than I do and the way I was raised..... so many things standing in the way of my fairy tale perfection.

Funny, so many of you saw things growing up and decided that you needed to change things for your life and your family, you didn't want to be like they were. I'm the opposite, I've spent my life trying to be exactly like my parents only to realize how incredibly hard and most likey unrealistic that it is.

ksproston

Oh Bobbi, I'm so sorry. What a nightmare! So sorry. That does remind me though. We could get something in our area Sunday afternoon into Monday. Need to check it out and see if it's progressed into something major or just another layer to cover the grass that's finally peeking through. :grumble:

Marla64

Lori.....sounds wonderful....how beautiful you make it all sound.

I often wonder how my children will view their upbringing. Far too often I'm sure I make raising a family of 9 seem REALLLLLLLLLY unattractive.

My husband and I both have VERY strong, very different personalities. I'm an easygoing smartass by nature, and he's a control freak smartass... and while I'm all for the traditional "Father Knows Best" model of marriage/parenting, believe me it's difficult sometimes, and I definitely have occasional trouble with the biblical submission stuff. (no, we're not entering into that discussion, folks....)

But, we do argue and bicker and sometimes yell at each other in front of the kids, and generally air our grievances for them to see and hear.

But, we also hug and smooch, and agree, and live and love and laugh alot. So, we'll see what they take of it.

I've often wondered what our life/marriage/parenting would be like if we DIDN'T always have to worry how we were going to pay the @#$!@ mortgage, and how we were going to put food on the table. The stress of it is is a killer, believe you me.

tamelab

Thanks for sharing your stories. I feel like I know you a little better

72lori

Lori.....sounds wonderful....how beautiful you make it all sound.

I often wonder how my children will view their upbringing. Far too often I'm sure I make raising a family of 9 seem REALLLLLLLLLY unattractive.

My husband and I both have VERY strong, very different personalities. I'm an easygoing smartass by nature, and he's a control freak smartass... and while I'm all for the traditional "Father Knows Best" model of marriage/parenting, believe me it's difficult sometimes, and I definitely have occasional trouble with the biblical submission stuff. (no, we're not entering into that discussion, folks....)

But, we do argue and bicker and sometimes yell at each other in front of the kids, and generally air our grievances for them to see and hear.

But, we also hug and smooch, and agree, and live and love and laugh alot. So, we'll see what they take of it.

I've often wondered what our life/marriage/parenting would be like if we DIDN'T always have to worry how we were going to pay the @#$!@ mortgage, and how we were going to put food on the table. The stress of it is is a killer, believe you me.

You know Marla, I really do count my blessings, I only have the most wonderful memories of my childhood. I too only hope that when my children are grown, they see their childhood the way I do my own.

My husband and I don't argue much, usually only over the raising of the kids. There is a difference between 'his kids' and 'my kids'. Sure I feel the difference, I'm not going to lie, but I try like anything to not let it be seen by the kids. I work hard to treat them all equally. He's not so good at it, although he denies it to the end, he can't see it.

So, I feel the need to stand up for my 2 kids when I see them getting the raw end of the deal. My 12 year old gets it the most. He's hard on him. He'll ride him for stuff that he doesn't ride his own 2 kids for. We just had an incident yesterday, I remined the kids to take their PE clothes back to school. His daughter said she never took them out of her backpack. I say, so you had dirty clothes in your room since Friday. Hubs was sitting there, said nothing. Ignored it. My 12 year old comes out of his room with his backpack of clothes from a sleepover Sunday night, DH instantly jumped in and started going on and on about why he didn't take care of it the day before, blah, blah.

Needless to say I was HOT. I wanted to choke him. DH knew it. So often I don't have solid 'evidence' of the things I try to point out to him, this all happened in a 5 minute time frame. I swear if I could install video cameras to prove my point, I would.

I've actually apologized to my son for the constant riding he gets from DH. Sometimes I wonder if I can take it anymore. I pray my son doesn't grow up hating me for subjecting him to it. It's no abusive, but it's unfair. DH says he doesn't respect him. I say I wouldn't either if he treated me that way.

The one thing I can say is my son is driven. He's only 12 and he knows what he wants from life, he's already got his high school classes and college desires mapped out. Maybe the riding has pushed him to achieve what he wants. He saved up, bought a $1200 iMac and is taking an online web design class right now. He's smart. He gets great grades, he cares about his school work and grades.

DH's son on the other hand, 14 years old, smart kid, capable of anything. No motivation. Sits in his room and plays xbox all day. Has no social life. Has some social/emotional issues. Could care less about school. Could care less about anything that we can figure out other than playing video games. I say all the time he would benefit from a boot up his butt (figuratively speaking of course) but the iron hand never comes down on him. Often I look at him as a mean, nasty child. He's rarely got anything nice to say to others.

Who knows, maybe my son is the way he is because his step father is an a$s to him. Maybe I spend too much time trying to figure it out. See, no perfection here. Promise.

mumsanutter

This team is truely inspirational, thank you for sharing.

I was an army brat, so spent the beginnings of my life moving from base to base, we finally settled at a base when my sister was born and I was about 5years old. What I didn't realise until much later, was that this was because my mum had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and my dad refused to take any postings or to progress any higher within the army structure as he didn't want to move my mums care. I remember mum always being there, being my brownie leader (tawny owl) and being friends with my teachers, and then she was gone and everything changed. My dad was always at work, he started to go away with work and my sister and I would be left at the army barracks in the care of either set of grandparents. Before my mum passed away, I had been going to after school clubs etc, but after all of a sudden I had to look after my sister. I had to walk her to school and then go on to mine, and collect her from school as well. I lost all the clubs I'd been going to, so that I could care for my younger sister and look after the house. The only job I wasn't allowed to do was iron my dads trousers ( I couldn't do the crease correctly!). My dad remarried when I was 16, and then this opened a bigger kettle of worms, as I was seen as competition and told repeatedly to go out with my friends (right!!).

I now looking back feel that I lost alot of my childhood looking after my sister, and am not sure if this is why we don't get along now. I don't have many friends from school, and still find it hard to make good friends, as am so scared of loseing them. My husband is my rock and best friend, and has helped me to overcome many things regarding my mums death, dad's remarriage, and has helped me to come through my dads passing last summer.

I try so hard to let my boys have the childhood that I never had, but do believe that they need to learn to help around the house, so they have their chores to do. They get to go to their clubs, karate and sea scouts and I try to let them do their after school activities. I sometimes find it hard to give them the space that they need with the job that I do, but will do my best to allow them a childhood that I didn't have.

Marla64

Tanya, so much loss.....I'm so sorry. Thank you, for telling us your story. I'm sure it's hard having to be a primary caregiver to a younger sibling. We had all but turned Faith, now 16, into one for our younger ones after hubs lost his job and typing was the only income. She handled it with such grace and never complained, but she was so quiet and withdrawn.

We knew that we had to let her have a life, so told her last April that she could enter high school....our original intent was to homeschool her (due to the crash and burn of my eldest son's character after he went out into "the world")

Our "quiet" child has blossomed....she is fun and funny, and chatty, and personable. She no longer runs and hides when we have company, finding her solace in the NY Rangers or NY Yankees into which she'd submerged herself. She now stays upstairs and chits and chats, and laughs.....oh my...what a beautiful change in her.

I think Cmriverside posted something once to the effect of...."if we were all to throw our troubles into a collective pile to choose anew, we'd all choose our own back." I'm reminded of that reading some of your tales. My parents growing up were definitely NOT Mike and Carol Brady, by any measure....but at least I did have them both, and I need to remember to be thankful for that.

Lori, sorry to hear of DH and your son. It takes a special person to be able to love any child like your own. I don't know that I could...heck, even the neighbor kids bug the junk out of me. I have nothing else to say remotely encouraging.... I'm sure it's a tricky situation.... I hope your son remains as driven as he is. You're no doubt a wonderful example to him with your working out, etc. Hugs to you all.

Families....can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em....eh?

Love to you all....whoda thunk one could feel so close to a "bunch of strangers on the internet" as my husband likes to call us?

Girlmom282109

Wow. I read through all the posts and got all teary.

I too have a Bi polar/Manic Depressive mother.

zippy111

Love to you all....whoda thunk one could feel so close to a "bunch of strangers on the internet" as my husband likes to call us?

This is exactly how I feel.about all of you....or as my ds14 and dh say...."are you talking to your wubby friends again?"....with kindness of course . You are all great writers...I feel inadequate to put my stories in words. Lori - I can't relate personally to the brady bunch but my mother-in-law lost her husband 39 years ago this past weekend. Bleeding ulcer..something today you would take a pill for and not die from. DH was 8 years old with 1 older brother and 2 younger siblings. Mom told me that she never thought of re-marrying...that she knew no one could ever love her children as much as she did. She raised those four kids all on her own. She is my hero. I'm sure Lori, when your DH is deployed as mine, I don't know how single parents do it.

Tanya - Marla - Tammy - Thank you for sharing your stories.

I was a spoiled brat of four older brothers and loved every moment of it.

Have a great night everyone!:flowerforyou:

72lori

Wow. I read through all the posts and got all teary.

I too have a Bi polar/Manic Depressive mother.

Isn't it amazing how close you feel to others when you know their story?

My step kids mother (and her sister and mother) is also manic depressive. I thank my lucky stars often that we were able to have them come live with us. There situation was not dreadful, but it's definately better now. We didn't force the subject, the were handed over to us. 7 and 9 years old. Can't imagine as a mother doing it.

Because of the history of step son's mother, there are issues there that need dealt with. I started him in counseling when DH was deployed last time, it ended at psychiatrist saying meds were recommended. That was last June. DH had a hard time coming to terms with it. The word psychiatrist is rough for him. I left it up to DH. Nothing happened. I finally told him we weren't doing him any favors by not helping him. With HS next year and DH deploying again, I finally got DH to agree to revisit the issues. We had an appointment yesterday, got an Rx filled today. Scary as poop putting a 14 year old on an anti depressant.

Marla- it is hard to love somebody else's kids like your own. I won't tell you it's exactly the same. I will tell you I love them, I would (and do) anything for them. They are good kids, they never say, "Your not my mother". Yes, sometimes they do bug the junk outta me, but so do mine.

I know with DH and DS I'm overly sensitive. I'm protective of my kids. I swore when I got divorced that I would never put a man before my kids. I guess I want to make sure I don't ever do that.

All in all, our situation works. I am thankful for that.

Girlmom282109

Isn't it amazing how close you feel to others when you know their story?

My step kids mother (and her sister and mother) is also manic depressive. I thank my lucky stars often that we were able to have them come live with us. There situation was not dreadful, but it's definately better now. We didn't force the subject, the were handed over to us. 7 and 9 years old. Can't imagine as a mother doing it.

Marla- it is hard to love somebody else's kids like your own. I won't tell you it's exactly the same. I will tell you I love them, I would (and do) anything for them. They are good kids, they never say, "Your not my mother". Yes, sometimes they do bug the junk outta me, but so do mine.

I have step brothers who while growing up always told my dad that "he was not their father" but he WAS the only father figure they had. Their father lived about 30 minutes away and wanted nothing to do with them. Now that they are grown when the younger of the two got married had my dad there and not his own. I always heard growing up "you ask, he's your dad!" I also got a lot of greif because my dad didn't want to be the bad one with them even though he was. (I am daddy's little girl NOW) I never really had a relationship with my mom growing up. We are on again off again now as most of you know.

My grandmother was a single mom with all of her kids after my grandfather died. She went on 1 date with a gentleman (as she used to tell me) but she knew it wouldn't work out because he was not my grandfather so, she brought along her 2 youngest kids. HAHA

arewethereyet

Wow. I read through all the posts and got all teary.

I too have a Bi polar/Manic Depressive mother.

Me too Sam!

arewethereyet

Someday I will share the sordid details of my past. For today, I will say that all the nasty stuff that happened to me between 9 and 15 helped to make me the person I am today.

There were ppl who believed in me, fed me or let me take a shower at their home.

There was even a girl who saved her milk jugs and collected them from neighbors, and left 20 full of water on our front porch once!

I had my 13 yr old BFF save all her babysitting money and buy gifts for me, my brother and mother and leave them on the front porch Christmas morning! I knew they were from her but the card said "Santa!" She never admitted to doing it.

We had a church come in and clean our home, fix our fridge and stove, fix toilet, pay all the utilites so the electric and water got turned back on........and then fill the fridge with food!

A priest came to the house and MADE my mom go to the hospital...........and even though we lived in deplorable conditions, instead of calling HRS and having us removed, he saw my mom was just ill and needed help. He paid the mortgage back 2 months.

There was the young couple who bought gifts for each of us and put up a tree in our living room...........

All of this showed me the goodness of humanity! I would not be able to do the job I do today without this in my life. I walk into homes that no one else would, and see the person and their pain.........not the dog poop on the floor!

richardsrm

Wow, I don't have words.............I guess we all have a past.........painful......happy........seems as I get older (58) it gets easier. Still scared for my sons they have lots of time and like you say "it happens"

Lori, i work with teens who have MH issues. Meds can make a big difference in your sons life if he is on the right one. Keep in touch with the Dr. , make sure he takes them as directed........feeling normal can be pretty scarry at first. Nurture and love means a ton , he is lucky to have you. Glad your husband agreed to get him help.........too many kids don't realize their is help out there and give up.

Jeannie, your post reminds us that those donations really do make a difference. Sometimes I wonder as they pass the basket. Glad you shared......... I have tears in my eyes ...........THanks to all of you for sharing. Hugs , Richie

arewethereyet

Wow, I don't have words.............I guess we all have a past.........painful......happy........seems as I get older (58) it gets easier. Still scared for my sons they have lots of time and like you say "it happens"

Lori, i work with teens who have MH issues. Meds can make a big difference in your sons life if he is on the right one. Keep in touch with the Dr. , make sure he takes them as directed........feeling normal can be pretty scarry at first. Nurture and love means a ton , he is lucky to have you. Glad your husband agreed to get him help.........too many kids don't realize their is help out there and give up.

Jeannie, your post reminds us that those donations really do make a difference. Sometimes I wonder as they pass the basket. Glad you shared......... I have tears in my eyes ...........THanks to all of you for sharing. Hugs , Richie

Thanks RIchard! Of course your GRRR got lost in the stories!

Sorry you didnt lose this week, but the good news is you prob will lose well next week! Keep up the good work and you WILL lose!:drinker:

familygirl37167

Hey evryone I know I have nott posted lately been trying to spend lots of time with the family..

But I am proud to say that I did 40 miles today 38 on the bike and 2 miles running. I burned 1621 calories today...

I am so proud of myself..Took my son to the heart dr to check on his valve that is messed up and his extra heart beats..All is good nothing has changed since 6 months ago..which is good new...we then took him to spaghetti factory for lunch....me and his split a meal with a salad and we even got wheat pasta. We did eat the bread and we did eat the ranch dressing and we did eat the spamoni ice cream.. and then we stopped for cheesecake...

I then ate one egg and one piece of wheat toast before my second workout and a snickers marathon bar after my workout...I am pretty proud of myself for burning so many calories...I am not logging my food for the simple fact I dont know exactly how much I ate..I am good for today I think...

Well off to weigh my food for the morning...Hope everyone had a great weigh in..

Will log tomorrow, my new day off is sat to spend with my babies I am so excited!!!!

3babybeans

Geeze a loo, ladies! Miss a little miss a lot!

*GROUPHUG*