Should I keep dating this guy? (Cheap)
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This thread is a joke, right?0
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Nope, Just break up...0
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HELL no girl!!! If it started like this, it will remain like this...... smarten up girl!!!!!!!
Why?!? He paid for drinks and movie tickets, why is there something wrong with her picking up HER meal? If it were me, I would have offered to pay for the entire dinner check. Maybe he didn't have a lot of cash on him, times are hard but atleast he made an effort. I don't understand why some women think that a man has to empty his wallet on a date in order for there to be a connection/further dates.
To the OP: After 2 dates, you don't know this man well enough to call him cheap. Get to know him before you make any rude assumptions.
THIS!!!0 -
A gentleman always pays.
This! Once a cheapskate, always a cheapskate! Good luck!0 -
P.S. I suspect OP is a troll anyway0
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A few years ago I would have said yes- I was always a girl who stood her round, went dutch etc. Had a variety of relationships lasting from 3 months to 2 years.
Met my husband- he wouldn't even think about letting me pay, unless it's his birthday or a special treat. Even then he's like "You sure?". It shows he wants to protect and take care of me, really says something about what he feels for me. And the penny kind of dropped for when I met him, that I deserve someone who wants to look after me (whether or not I need looking after, it's more about his intentions that my capabilities)
So if you are looking for something serious, with someone who respects you and wants to take care of you, then no, dont keep dating the guy.
If you are looking for a fling with a variable but ultimately insubtantial emotional attachment, keep seeing him.0 -
If you're an established couple, I think it's fine to split it or take turns.
The problem with first dates (first several dates actually) is that it's so awkward to communicate. Often the more dominant personality calls the shots. I've never believed that either person, guy or girl, inherits a birthright to pay. You can't be for equality but also say 'but guys should always pay'. That's goofy.
But it is romantic to take care of the bill, so if one person does it, then the other person does it for them, that's cool. And if one of you is on a really tight budget, i.e. unemployed, single parent then I think there's nothing wrong with letting the other person know that. If the other person walks away, then it's probably for the best.
Where you get 'cheap' from however is someone who just assumes things should be a certain way, and doesn't communicate what they want. That can feel pretty cold.0 -
You asked he answered, if you didn't want to pay you shouldn't have asked...JMO0
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A real man pays for everything!!!!0
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yeah i expect for guys to pay in the beginning stages. i also expect my doors to be opened, my chairs to be pulled out and for him to walk on the street side when we're walking on the sidewalk. yeah i'm old fashioned, but i've never had any problems finding guys who naturally do this.
sorry to say but in the past few decades women have cheapened their value with regards to dating and now are starting to wonder why there are so many guys who treat them like crap
with that said, dinner and movies for 2 people on a second date is freaking expensive, we are still in a recession you know :laugh: besides that.. worse than that... it's an absolutely lazy date because there's no thought required for it beyond what movie to see.
tip to guys : if you can't afford to pay for a date then think outside the box and do something FUN but cheap. some of the best cheap[o dates i've been on have been things like walking tours of chinatown that my date put together and we stopped at at places to get thing like dumplings and bubble tea. the entire date probably cost him like $20 but it was fun.. there's also places that you can rent bikes for cheap and tour an area, picnics, museums, free beer and wine tastings, etc0 -
This is the 21st century I believe? Is this is even a serious question? If the success of a date depends on how much you 'benefit' from the dates I think he should question whether he should keep dating you!
Equality, two adults going out together, two adults treating each other with equal respect.... split the bills. I earn more than the love of my life do you think it would be reasonable for him to pay for me? I certainly don't, I am not for sale.0 -
A real man pays for everything!!!!
^ This guy.
I like this guy.0 -
I'm of the opinion that it's totally ridiculous to expect a guy to pay for everything. If we as women want equal treatment in society, then we also need to let go of the chivalry we expect of men otherwise it's a bit hypocritical.
THANKS A LOT!!!! :-)
Damn... I hate to hear that a man's a jerk because he doesn't pay everything during the x first dates...
to OP:
The only good way to decide who pays is that anyone who has money pays (= split). We're no longer in the 30's (yes, you remember those dark ages when women weren't allowed to work?..).
now, you got a job? You have enough cash to buy shoes/bags/dresses/cupcakes/etc, then you have also enough money to pay half the dinner...0 -
A real man pays for everything!!!!
Because you have a pair? Sorry man; I'm not teaching my boys that outdated lesson. 0_o0 -
The only time I "expect" a guy to pay is when we're on a first date especially if he's the one who asked me out...not that I'd kill him if he didn't but honestly...it makes a really good impression:D
But other than that I don't expect the guy to pay everytime we go out...even if he wants to I insist on paying 50-50/or paying for myself...or we take turns..:) It's a little bit different when you're a couple/married couple I guess but that's not your case yet:D
But give him one more chance if you really like him...maybe he's too young and confused and probably broke to be a "real" gentleman... AND maybe he felt you would have felt more independent if he let you pay...not very common but who knows:D0 -
Bull****.A real man pays for everything!!!!
Then I want my wife/gf in the kitchen butt naked with heels, cooking my food.
It's 2012, women are making just about the same as men now. It seems that SOME women only want to be treated as equals in certain areas. You can't cherry pick equality.0 -
no. a gentleman should always offer to pay.
so should a woman.
I like this! I even offer to pay on first dates, but usually on the second or third date if he's been consistently paying I will start to fight him for the cheque. Times have changed! If you are both working adults who want to be treated equally by the rest of the world, why shouldn't you pay? It's good form to offer to pay, but that goes for both of you and maybe he's turned off by knowing (or thinking) that you expect him to pay for everything you do when you're together?0 -
A real man pays for everything!!!!
if he also pays for sex, then I disagree with your definition of "real man"...0 -
You're giving it up for a newspaper....
Isn't that prostitution?A gentleman always pays.
And a lady always puts out after getting paid.
.
This is also true. I put out after my own husband buys me dinner. Or clothes. Or a newspaper.
Wow there's a whole lot of panties wedged betwixt butt cheeks in this thread.0 -
You asked he answered, if you didn't want to pay you shouldn't have asked...JMO
This^0 -
Well.. on my second date with my boyfriend he had me buy us coffee and it was not necessarily a turn on but i stuck around and things are great. If you enjoy having him around then stick around and see what happens. You never know. It might take just hanging out with him a few times before you can make this decision.0
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I'm of the opinion that it's totally ridiculous to expect a guy to pay for everything. If we as women want equal treatment in society, then we also need to let go of the chivalry we expect of men otherwise it's a bit hypocritical.
**** equal treatment!
I don't want any equal treatment! You women in America got yourself your equal treatment when have 6 weeks to take care of a baby after the delivery, and we have up to 1.5 years, our jobs are protected by the law.
Men and women are NOT the same, neither physically, nor mentally, why would we have the same responsibilities?
Equal human and political rights? Yes. But you guys take it to a freaking another level.0 -
This is why I don't date.
You don't date because you want to avoid a the chance of going out with a guy who doesn't want to pay 100% of the time? Sounds logical.0 -
You're giving it up for a newspaper....
Isn't that prostitution?A gentleman always pays.
And a lady always puts out after getting paid.
.
This is also true. I put out after my own husband buys me dinner. Or clothes. Or a newspaper.
Wow there's a whole lot of panties wedged betwixt butt cheeks in this thread.
Holy crap buddy, that was a joke. You know.. ha.. ha... ha... joke.0 -
Depends on who asked who for the second date.
If he did then he should pay, if you did the you should.0 -
A real man pays for everything!!!!
^ This guy.
I like this guy.
Of course you do. You're getting free meals from them lol. You know you can get free meals from church etc too right?0 -
And so was mine, yet you got upset.
You're giving it up for a newspaper....
Isn't that prostitution?A gentleman always pays.
And a lady always puts out after getting paid.
.
This is also true. I put out after my own husband buys me dinner. Or clothes. Or a newspaper.
Wow there's a whole lot of panties wedged betwixt butt cheeks in this thread.
Holy crap buddy, that was a joke. You know.. ha.. ha... ha... joke.0 -
And so was mine, yet you got upset.
You're giving it up for a newspaper....
Isn't that prostitution?A gentleman always pays.
And a lady always puts out after getting paid.
.
This is also true. I put out after my own husband buys me dinner. Or clothes. Or a newspaper.
Wow there's a whole lot of panties wedged betwixt butt cheeks in this thread.
Holy crap buddy, that was a joke. You know.. ha.. ha... ha... joke.
Actually no, I've been giggling my way through this thread. Now I'm just seeing how many quotes one single post can have in it. Wheeee0 -
agree this!A gentleman always pays.0 -
I'm a little torn on this one.
I'm of the opinion that if you invite someone (friend, family or date) to come to dinner, you're paying. However, if you ask them to meet you somewhere, this is much more open to split the bill. I myself am a "let's go dutch" girl because I don't like feeling indebted to people (esp. the type who are like "But I paid for dinner! You owe me sexy time!"), but I'm also younger.
I'd say for a second date that he he wanted you to split the bill, he should have told you that up front BEFORE the date. It's a bit early for the person who did the inviting to expect the invitee to split without discussion.
Would it stop me from going on a third date? Well... that depends on if I caught any other red flags (rude to wait staff, greedy with food, complaining about everything from mom to boss, talk of exs, just plain boring etc.).
If there was anything else that went down, ditch that sinking ship.
If not, assume somebody just mised a social graces lesson, have a talk about it and move on.0
This discussion has been closed.
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