Major Blow to My Confidence Today-Rude People

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  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
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    I don't understand people sometimes.... how would it be that person's business even if you WERE pregnant?
  • Reedikulus
    Reedikulus Posts: 19
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    Wow that is as bad as the prick at my job. I was walking behind him in our office 9 months pregnant. (Actually a week OVER DUE) and he says OUT LOUD.. WIDE LOAD COMING THROUGH! Really? SOB. I wanted to punch him in the penis. No lie.... Don't let her comment derail you. Let it provide you with the extra uumph and kick you can work with. Good luck girl.
  • sstephanrodriguez
    sstephanrodriguez Posts: 36 Member
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    Wow. Just wow. People have NO tact.
  • jesspi68
    jesspi68 Posts: 292
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    The only time it is socially acceptable to ask a woman if she is pregnant is when the baby is crowning.

    LOL Or if she has stood up holding her stomach saying "the baby is coming! my water broke!!"
  • elfo
    elfo Posts: 353 Member
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    I had a similar situation happen to me- at the grocery store as well.
    I can tell you this...
    It's not enough to get you to loose weight. People will make comments ALL the time, and even if they don't say them out loud- they're thinking them in their heads- and we know this. If all it took was one A-hole saying hurtful things, we'd all be thin.
    Unfortunately, we have to get to the point, where WE are the ones that see what they see. It wasn't until I actually started seeing what others saw that I realized - OMG I'm FAT!!! Yes, FAT! Doesn't that word sound so mean? But it's true!
    I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way. I've been there! What I want to say is- Do it for YOU! not for all those inconsiderate, offensive, hurtful people out there.
    ...and YES YOU CAN DO IT!

    you can see my before and after pictures here:

    http://me-on-dukan.blogspot.com/2012/06/40lbs-lost-pics-bikini.html
  • Indygirl_81
    Indygirl_81 Posts: 142 Member
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    WTF..who says "you only look 3 months pregnant" after you made it clear that you're not pregnant nor have any kids? That was grounds to deck her in the face.....

    I'm not one for violence, but I kinda agree with this poster in the quote... who says "you only look 3 months pregnant" after being embarrassed about asking the person if they are pregnant and getting the response no???? WTF?
  • MemphisKitten
    MemphisKitten Posts: 878 Member
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    WTF?!?! Even when women are 3 months pregnant, they don't "look" pregnant! I'm sorry you had to deal with such an ignorant jerk. :cry:
  • niknak2308
    niknak2308 Posts: 315 Member
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    I will never, ever understand why some people think it's perfectly acceptable to ask a woman if she is pregnant. Besides the obvious error of someone simply being overweight, what if that person is trying to conceive and having issues? What if they just lost a baby? There are so many cans of worms in that question - I never, ever bring it up.

    This!
  • toriaenator
    toriaenator Posts: 423 Member
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    wait what the actual fu*ck? that is the most rude thing i have heard in a while! who the HELL does that?! wow im actually pissed off.


    if it makes you feel better, my earliest memory of being teased about weight was when i was 7...and the gym teacher told me i looked pregnant and to "suck in my stomach"
  • JanaCanada
    JanaCanada Posts: 917 Member
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    Am I the only person here that thinks you have over reacted a bit....I also carry my weight on my belly and someone once asked me if I was pregnant....to be fair my posture was bad, I was overweight and wearing a smocky kind of top....I thought it was quite amusing and it made me take a look at myself....not once did I consider the person to ignorant or rude...I looked pregnant...it seemed like a genuine question and I got over it.....I am bemused at why most people replying to this thread think this is an insulting comment...I bet she feels really bad about it and wanted the floor to open up....perhaps being more forgiving would help you move on... either that or have a look at how your hold yourself or what you are wearing....it would more likely be that than being overweight......good luck with the weight loss....try and not let folk bother you....

    I agree. They didn't mean any harm, they were just ignorant. And like someone below said, if a complete stranger is ignorant enough to ask another complete stranger if they are pregnant, they aren't worth stressing over. It's a common mistake, and while they really should be more considerate, it has happened to a lot of people. Don't freak out. Also, if you do anything like placing your hand on your belly, that can often send the "pregnancy message", because pregnant women (like myself) often do that. I am very sorry that your feelings were hurt, but a stranger shouldn't have that much control over your feelings. Keep your chin up.

    How do you know what the stranger's intentions were?? The thing is, you don't. Maybe they asked innocently enough, maybe not....but either way, that is sooooo not the point! The point is, at the most, every person on this planet has an expectation of privacy...and at the least, an expectation of respect for personal space. Bottom line, it's nobody's damned business. When a stranger or anyone else crosses that line and violates another person's privacy and/or personal space, then they get what's coming to them, and in this case, it should be a lesson in sensitivity, regardless of whether it's delivered via kind words or a tongue lashing.

    every person on the planet? really? wow...lots and lots of people...how can you possibly know that every person on the planet has the same level of expectation that you do or that the poster does or what that looks like at most or least....certainly the person asking the pregnancy question didn't have it...and there are lots more....some people are insensitive and a bit stupid....it's not a crime....just life......

    "Expectation of privacy" is legal terminology. Ever hear of "inalienable rights"? These are personal rights with which, yes, EVERY person on the planet is born. I don't expect you to understand, so please allow me to illustrate: It's kind of like the difference between people who post intelligently, and those who post like high school drop outs.
  • TiffersStr1
    TiffersStr1 Posts: 67 Member
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    Some people are just plain ignorant. Can't excuse them, but you can feel sorry for them. :grumble:
  • stephenmak
    stephenmak Posts: 1
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    You should actually have a great level of self confidence, as clearly you managed to move on. I would have decked her.
  • goody2shews
    goody2shews Posts: 129 Member
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    Some people should lose their license to speak in public after being that rude. You are beautiful. If you feel you want to lose weight than that is totally up to you and not anyone else.

    It makes me crazy sometimes that you may sleep with anyone you want anytime you want, you may worship what or whomever you choose, you can be as crazy as a bed bug in this world but OH Hell No you may not eat what you want! I even seen Donald Trump on his public television show say to an overweight man " I wouldn't hire you because your weight, you look unprofessional " What in the world!!!??? Even the govenor or senator of I believe NJ gets the same thing.

    I get it we could be healthier and it is not good for us. Who is to say what is the breaking point where we are no longer treated equally?

    I use to work for a major cell phone company as a sales person. I was thinner....much thinner than I am now. I gained weight say about 35 lbs. One day this A hole comes in who was one of my customers and says to me " when are you due to drop that baby" I tell him very directly " Excuse me, I am not pregnant " He then says " pregnant, fat, sack of potatoes what ever you want to call it, when are you going to lose it "

    I told my boss and she turned all 4 of lines off for two days! Got to love her for it :)

    Really Karma is a ........
  • vtccgolf
    vtccgolf Posts: 1
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    This happened to my wife once. The lady must have been so embarrased, that she kept trying to convince my wife she must be pregnant. I was standing right there, and my wife was being very polite about it. Well, being that I am a little bit of a smartass at times, and seeing my wife needed to break free of this conversation, I pulled out one for the record books. I looked at the lady straight up and said the following:

    "Ma'am, my wife is telling you the truth. Ever since the accident, I just haven't been able to...you know. If you know something I don't, you better let me know. Have a nice weekend."

    I thought the lady was going to pass out. She may be still standing in that parking lot in shock...four years later. Of course, I got a earful from the wife in the car...but I told her that lady will never, ever ask anyone if she's pregnant or try to convince her otherwise. She then couldn't stop laughing after replaying the event in her head.

    Hang in there...what's always worked for me is to be happy with the person I am on the inside...and then get the rest of me back into shape.
  • Crystaleyed
    Crystaleyed Posts: 229 Member
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    I think that the stuff about the three months thing was a bit off, I must admit but there have been times that I have wondered wether someone is pregnant or not, and that was not in a judgemental way, I just couldn't tell. I think it's good that the whole experience hasn't put you off weight loss, I know for some people it would have done.
    Keep at it so you can cross women like that in the supermarket and be stronger than them.
    Actions speak louder than words. :D
  • gkwatra
    gkwatra Posts: 431 Member
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    Wow that is as bad as the prick at my job. I was walking behind him in our office 9 months pregnant. (Actually a week OVER DUE) and he says OUT LOUD.. WIDE LOAD COMING THROUGH! Really? SOB. I wanted to punch him in the penis. No lie.... Don't let her comment derail you. Let it provide you with the extra uumph and kick you can work with. Good luck girl.

    Guys like that are insecure and they try to ovecompensate for a *lack* of something if you know what I mean. The only time I ever brought up pregnancy to a woman is when I saw printouts of websites with pregnancy information on them around her house. And then, I made it very clear - "I'm seeing pregnancy printouts everywhere, you're not pregnant, are you?"
  • cbk93
    cbk93 Posts: 35
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    I'm sorry this happened to you! Some people need to have their tongues removed!!
  • juicy_cat
    juicy_cat Posts: 145 Member
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    Am I the only person here that thinks you have over reacted a bit....I also carry my weight on my belly and someone once asked me if I was pregnant....to be fair my posture was bad, I was overweight and wearing a smocky kind of top....I thought it was quite amusing and it made me take a look at myself....not once did I consider the person to ignorant or rude...I looked pregnant...it seemed like a genuine question and I got over it.....I am bemused at why most people replying to this thread think this is an insulting comment...I bet she feels really bad about it and wanted the floor to open up....perhaps being more forgiving would help you move on... either that or have a look at how your hold yourself or what you are wearing....it would more likely be that than being overweight......good luck with the weight loss....try and not let folk bother you....

    I agree. They didn't mean any harm, they were just ignorant. And like someone below said, if a complete stranger is ignorant enough to ask another complete stranger if they are pregnant, they aren't worth stressing over. It's a common mistake, and while they really should be more considerate, it has happened to a lot of people. Don't freak out. Also, if you do anything like placing your hand on your belly, that can often send the "pregnancy message", because pregnant women (like myself) often do that. I am very sorry that your feelings were hurt, but a stranger shouldn't have that much control over your feelings. Keep your chin up.

    How do you know what the stranger's intentions were?? The thing is, you don't. Maybe they asked innocently enough, maybe not....but either way, that is sooooo not the point! The point is, at the most, every person on this planet has an expectation of privacy...and at the least, an expectation of respect for personal space. Bottom line, it's nobody's damned business. When a stranger or anyone else crosses that line and violates another person's privacy and/or personal space, then they get what's coming to them, and in this case, it should be a lesson in sensitivity, regardless of whether it's delivered via kind words or a tongue lashing.

    every person on the planet? really? wow...lots and lots of people...how can you possibly know that every person on the planet has the same level of expectation that you do or that the poster does or what that looks like at most or least....certainly the person asking the pregnancy question didn't have it...and there are lots more....some people are insensitive and a bit stupid....it's not a crime....just life......

    "Expectation of privacy" is legal terminology. Ever hear of "inalienable rights"? These are personal rights with which, yes, EVERY person on the planet is born. I don't expect you to understand, so please allow me to illustrate: It's kind of like the difference between people who post intelligently, and those who post like high school drop outs.

    I have heard of neither...I am not a lawyer, nor do I have any legal background or inclination to verse myself in such matters....thanks for putting me right and sharing your legal experience with me and the MFP community.....you're obviously a real bright girl.....although your inability to post a reply without resorting to insults suggests you have a low self esteem...just saying....
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    i am pretty sure expectation of privacy and inalienable rights do not go hand in hand with someone having a casual conversation.

    was it out of line? depends on who is being asked, i am sure there are some women who enjoy being asked if they are pregnant because they are and would like to share the wonderful joy with others.
  • juicy_cat
    juicy_cat Posts: 145 Member
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    i am pretty sure expectation of privacy and inalienable rights do not go hand in hand with someone having a casual conversation.

    was it out of line? depends on who is being asked, i am sure there are some women who enjoy being asked if they are pregnant because they are and would like to share the wonderful joy with others.

    Oh so they are legal terms...I thought she'd made that up it sounded so ludicrous used in the context of this subject matter...

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