Major Blow to My Confidence Today-Rude People

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  • AnimeFreak34
    AnimeFreak34 Posts: 1
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    I am so sorry that people are that ignorant still. I think sometimes that obesity is more of a side show for the "perfect" ones than anything else. I hope that you keep it going, step by step, it will end up mattering and maybe when you're at your goal, you will see her again and she will be the one who looks silly.
  • Merci444
    Merci444 Posts: 222 Member
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    At my HW, I was at a bus-stop and a complete stranger asked me when I was due, and when I told him I wasn't pregnant, he proceeded to ARGUE with me about whether or not I was pregnant, because I "sure LOOKED pregnant". I laughed it off, but I wanted to give him a swift kick in the pants.
    I had this happen once when my daughter was almost 2!! She insisted twice that I was pregnant even when I made it clear that I wasn't, and at the end of the exchange she said, "well, you look pregnant" (!!!!!)

    I also had it happen recently, and it was the impetus for me to get serious about losing weight and I have. Now when I see the lady who asked me (she is the client of a coworker, so IO see her often) I can tell that she wants to say something but she doesn't dare comment about my body (she is also overweight.)
  • tyraun_b
    tyraun_b Posts: 65
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    i am so sorry to hear that....people can be so cruel, cold and heartless. just liie you said use that as fuel to reach your goal. you sound like a very nice and determined woman; at the end of the day your husband will be there for you as well as the entire myfitnesspal community. i know you don't know me but if i can help in any way, i am only a click away!!!! i love helping people as much as i can. that's my passion. so it's time to get motivated, focused, and dialed in...let's get it!!!! good luck
  • hughtwalker
    hughtwalker Posts: 2,213 Member
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    Am I the only person here that thinks you have over reacted a bit....I also carry my weight on my belly and someone once asked me if I was pregnant....to be fair my posture was bad, I was overweight and wearing a smocky kind of top....I thought it was quite amusing and it made me take a look at myself....not once did I consider the person to ignorant or rude...I looked pregnant...it seemed like a genuine question and I got over it.....I am bemused at why most people replying to this thread think this is an insulting comment...I bet she feels really bad about it and wanted the floor to open up....perhaps being more forgiving would help you move on... either that or have a look at how your hold yourself or what you are wearing....it would more likely be that than being overweight......good luck with the weight loss....try and not let folk bother you....

    I agree. They didn't mean any harm, they were just ignorant. And like someone below said, if a complete stranger is ignorant enough to ask another complete stranger if they are pregnant, they aren't worth stressing over. It's a common mistake, and while they really should be more considerate, it has happened to a lot of people. Don't freak out. Also, if you do anything like placing your hand on your belly, that can often send the "pregnancy message", because pregnant women (like myself) often do that. I am very sorry that your feelings were hurt, but a stranger shouldn't have that much control over your feelings. Keep your chin up.
    Apparently you are not the only one - there are two of you
  • hughtwalker
    hughtwalker Posts: 2,213 Member
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    - and another thing, you are doing something about it, sadly for the other person "stooopid" is a lifelong commitment.
  • stockholmhasago
    stockholmhasago Posts: 67
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    As a general rude: Unless you can see the baby's head coming out of her vagina, never ask a woman if she's pregnant. Ever.
  • LorryGuthrie
    LorryGuthrie Posts: 113 Member
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    The only time it is socially acceptable to ask a woman if she is pregnant is when the baby is crowning.

    Bahaha!! Exactly!!!

    Sounds to me like the gal was trying to back pedal and just kept getting in deeper and deeper...I would have probably started chuckling at her social ineptness. Keep working girl. I'm sure the positives you get on this site FAR outweigh this negative!! :D
  • victorialkay
    victorialkay Posts: 70
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    I was at the grocery store with my husband today and we had just finished checking out and were putting the last of our bags into the cart. There was woman that was checking out after us and she had the gall to ask me if I was pregnant. I tell her that I am not pregnant and give her the most evil look ever. She goes "I am so sorry. Do you have any kids now?" I keep telling her "No I don't". At this point, I am fighting the tears. Then she goes "I am so sorry. If this makes you feel any better, you only look 3 mos. pregnant." I give her another evil look and ran out of the store. On top of feeling humiliated and angry, it makes me want to lose weight even more. I carry more of the weight in my belly so I guess I will be ramping up my workout routine to work off the gut. It is a shame how little people care anymore :(.

    Hey Hun,

    Sorry for what happened, it mustn't be nice but try to think about it from her point of view. That lady mistakingly thought that and then by insulting you would of been very nervous and carried on insulting.

    That's why I wouldn't take it personally!she must of felt horrible too,

    Hope you will not let it effect you too much or either use this for motivation, god knows we gotta grab the motivation where we can, lol! Xx
  • janalo55
    janalo55 Posts: 50 Member
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    When I was pregnant I went over to the main office where I worked one morning and one of the ladies looked at me really funny. I went to lunch with one of the other girls that day and she told me the first lady said, after I left, "She is going to have to watch her weight or people will think she's pregnant!" My friend said, "I guess they will... she's about 8 months along!" I just thought everyone knew by then! LOL! I actually lost weight when I was pregnant (well, my daughter weighed 8 lbs and I gained 6). And I gained 4 of those pounds after that discussion, so we just laughed.

    I learned long ago you NEVER ask anyone if they are pregnant. If they are, it's their business to tell you, and if they aren't, you have just made a MAJOR rude blunder.

    But you confused her with your healthy glow!
  • Neequie
    Neequie Posts: 48
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    I am so sorry this happened to you!! Ive had similar things happen with strangers and I ignore them. I know it's tough, but after the first rude question, I no longer engage in a conversation. I look busy loading the conveyor belt, or pick upa magazine and read, or better yet, grab your phone! Once I said " Yes, I know I am fat, and thank you for again bringing it to my attention, but Im already working on it. WHats your excuse for your rudeness?" and stood there waiting for an answer. The old hag went to a different line. Another time I said "yeah, I know Im fat, but I can diet, and the house that fell on your mother isn't going to change". One more thing...if we were all built the same, like supermodels, how BORING life would be! Especially since myhubs likes a big butt! Whew! Sure am glad Ive always had one! :wink:
  • victorialkay
    victorialkay Posts: 70
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    as someone who assumes everyone is a *kitten* until the prove otherwise, is it possible that this person was just trying to be genuinely nice and when her "mistake" was corrected she got so flustered and tried to turn a bad situation into something a little better but got even more flustered?

    i really find it hard to believe that everyone here was never in that situation before and while trying to make things better only made it worse.

    I'm with you on this, I do it all the time and hate myself when I do it. I'm not a bad person just try to be chatty, talkative and make friends.
  • sistersyd
    sistersyd Posts: 30 Member
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    Totally rude - and what makes it worse is she thought she was helping!

    My mother once told me "You're the prettiest fat woman I know" and couldn't figure out why I was upset by that...

    Clueless.

    Stick with the plan - you are (and always will be) more beautiful inside and out than clueless rude people.
  • maddieprice87
    maddieprice87 Posts: 56 Member
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    How horrible! :( I would have burst into tears. Some people have literally no tact or sense of what's ok to say. Hope it hasn't brought you down too much. xxx
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    i also never compliment women on their hair cuts/changes

    did it once and my good friend burst into tears crying that they took too much off.....
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
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    WTF..who says "you only look 3 months pregnant" after you made it clear that you're not pregnant nor have any kids? That was grounds to deck her in the face.....

    This! What th eff!?! The 3 month comment was way out of line, she was just being a rude *****.
  • 4flamingoz
    4flamingoz Posts: 214 Member
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    id have asked her in a really condescending baby voice if she needed a ride back to her group
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    THIS!!!!! People are just such incredible morons-my view is that they're pea brains-when you have a brain the size of a pea, you just can't help being an idiot. Once you can come to that realization, then you can just laugh at their innate stupidity. You just keep on rockin' sista!!
  • Infauna
    Infauna Posts: 89
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    Sorry to hear that your feelings were hurt, but by continuing, she was probably just trying to make it sound less insulting. Forgive her, because she was probably really embarrassed, too.
  • smithoman
    smithoman Posts: 1
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    Turn that negative into a positive. Use the experience as a motivator! I'm sure the poor lady wanted to crawl up and die so don't worry about her. And we can all take a little punishment, don't let it get to you! That's where the real harm will come from. Water on a ducks back and anytime you're feeling like having something you shouldn't think of her!
  • serenapitala
    serenapitala Posts: 441 Member
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    WTF..who says "you only look 3 months pregnant" after you made it clear that you're not pregnant nor have any kids? That was grounds to deck her in the face.....
    I second that! I probably would have cried. Just remind yourself that you are doing the right thing. She's probably one of those people who says stupid things to everyone. She probably tells skinny people they need to eat more and asks tall people if they play basketball. Those people are out there, making life harder for everyone, but they generally don't mean anything by it. Good for you for holding it together.
  • ShmoozyQ
    ShmoozyQ Posts: 390 Member
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    Holy smokes! That lady is an idiot!

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