When a Guy Says I Want a Woman That Takes Care of Her Body
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So much spit and fire flying on this thread! My two cents from personal experience...
My ex husband is the kind of guy who would say something like that. He was pretty open to a variety of shapes, faces, etc, but he had a firm 'no fatties' code. When we met I was 18 and 113 lbs. When we married I was about 123, and he had already started making comments that I needed to 'take care of my body more' even though I worked out 4-5 days a week and ate pretty healthy. I was stressed out during his deployments and grad school and gained a few lbs. At 130, he said he wasn't attracted to me anymore. I went crazy, stopped eating and worked out incessantly, and lost some weight. It didn't help, he still wasn't attracted to me any more and the fact that I 'could' get 'fat' was a 'big turn off'. Obviously a lot more issues going on that just that, but we definitely ended in a nasty divorce.
So what I see when I read that, is that it's a guy who wants someone who is already in shape, has never had trouble with their weight, and will never have trouble with their weight. Let's face it, you probably don't want to be with someone who won't support you on your journey.
Holy cow!! That guy sounds awful!!! No wonder he's an ex! 130 is in NO way fat!
Oh yeah, I'd love to be 130 again! He was definitely messed up in his view of 'healthy'0 -
Wow. This topic escalated quickly. How about, everyone accept themselves for who they are, and accept others for who they are, and be honest with yourself and each other?
Here are some kitties.
I want a man who takes care of his body.. and posts kitties.
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Wow. Really? According to you all, she's fat, "a pretty big girl" ...??? I'd say she has a few extra pounds but unless my screen resolution is off she's smaller and fitter looking than most people I see on a daily basis.
well, you know what they say about people on fitness sites... lol...
She's a beautiful woman. But she has more than "a few extra pounds." She's at least a size 18 and that is NOT small. It's plus-sized. She would not be able to walk into the Gap and find clothes to fit her. She carries her weight very well (and I'm sure that photo has some air-brushing, as well), but she's not small.
And when I describe myself as curvy, I'm talking about my bone structure, NOT my size. From the angle of this photo, I can't quite tell if she fits my definition of cruvery (smaller waist relative to hips). But I would not call her curvy based on her size. She's overweight.
Just because you know a lot of people who are MORE overweight than this woman doesn't mean she's a healthy size.
Exactly!
To the OP you're quoting - if the woman in the picture is smaller than most people you know, then most people you know are overweight. It doesn't make her suddenly not overweight.
you do know that i posted that pic not to show a woman who was fit or in shape or healthy, but merely to show a woman who a man would consider curvy, right?
yes, she's overweight. but she's not morbidly obese. she's what we would call curvy or voluptuous. that's all.
i was responding to somebody who was mad because the term "curvy" has been misappropriated by morbidly obese woman that use it as a euphemism. her idea of "curvy" was Marilyn Monroe. her definition is big boobs, slender waist, big hips. as a guy, i would use a more flattering term than "curvy" to describe a woman like that.0 -
Wow. Really? According to you all, she's fat, "a pretty big girl" ...??? I'd say she has a few extra pounds but unless my screen resolution is off she's smaller and fitter looking than most people I see on a daily basis.
well, you know what they say about people on fitness sites... lol...
She's a beautiful woman. But she has more than "a few extra pounds." She's at least a size 18 and that is NOT small. It's plus-sized. She would not be able to walk into the Gap and find clothes to fit her. She carries her weight very well (and I'm sure that photo has some air-brushing, as well), but she's not small.
And when I describe myself as curvy, I'm talking about my bone structure, NOT my size. From the angle of this photo, I can't quite tell if she fits my definition of cruvery (smaller waist relative to hips). But I would not call her curvy based on her size. She's overweight.
Just because you know a lot of people who are MORE overweight than this woman doesn't mean she's a healthy size.
Exactly!
To the OP you're quoting - if the woman in the picture is smaller than most people you know, then most people you know are overweight. It doesn't make her suddenly not overweight.
you do know that i posted that pic NOT TO SHOW A WOMAN WHO WAS IN SHAPE OR FIT OR HEALTHY, but to show a woman who a man would consider curvy, right?
yes, she's overweight. but she's not morbidly obese. she's what we would call curvy or voluptuous. that's all.
i was responding to somebody who was mad because the term "curvy" has been misappropriated by morbidly obese woman that use it as a euphemism. her idea of "curvy" was Marilyn Monroe. her definition is big boobs, slender waist, big hips. as a guy, i would use a more flattering term than "curvy" to describe a woman like that.
No one is responding to you, though. We're responding to the woman who is offended because she knows people who are more overweight than the woman in the photo and therefore the woman in the photo can't be overweight.0 -
3. Frankly I didn't want to see that naked - I do NOT have a perfect body and don't claim to but no, that's not something I'd like to look at
But the guy should have a perfect body though right? Because we're held to a higher standard than you. Stay classy!
I have to say - I think it's the other way round. I'm constantly in awe at the disparity in what's acceptable (at least here in Australia). Big guys are 'husky' and people usually laugh at their enormous beer-bellies. They can be lazy, slobbish couch potatoes who eat **** but there are never any 'consequences' for it - I see them out with friends all the time, picking up super thin, pretty girls and I've never heard of a guy complaining that he was turned down for a job or had some kid yell something cruel and abusive from a passing car. Fat men seem to be faaaaaar more socially acceptable than fat women who, in my experience, seem to get rejected or taunted or miss out on dating etc. There's definitely an inequality... but I suppose each sex is going to think they're the ones who are worse off :P
I think an overweight man is more acceptable in society, and I also think for the most part overweight men don't let their weight bother them as much, therefore they are more confident. I know overweight men who will walk around shirtless with their beer gut hanging out and not care. I also know a lot of women who look perfectly fine but they are always trying to cover themselves up and hate their body. I think if you're confident in yourself you will have an easier time finding a date, no matter what weight you are.
What was this thread about again lol.0 -
Wow. Really? According to you all, she's fat, "a pretty big girl" ...??? I'd say she has a few extra pounds but unless my screen resolution is off she's smaller and fitter looking than most people I see on a daily basis.
well, you know what they say about people on fitness sites... lol...
She's a beautiful woman. But she has more than "a few extra pounds." She's at least a size 18 and that is NOT small. It's plus-sized. She would not be able to walk into the Gap and find clothes to fit her. She carries her weight very well (and I'm sure that photo has some air-brushing, as well), but she's not small.
And when I describe myself as curvy, I'm talking about my bone structure, NOT my size. From the angle of this photo, I can't quite tell if she fits my definition of cruvery (smaller waist relative to hips). But I would not call her curvy based on her size. She's overweight.
Just because you know a lot of people who are MORE overweight than this woman doesn't mean she's a healthy size.
Exactly!
To the OP you're quoting - if the woman in the picture is smaller than most people you know, then most people you know are overweight. It doesn't make her suddenly not overweight.
you do know that i posted that pic NOT TO SHOW A WOMAN WHO WAS IN SHAPE OR FIT OR HEALTHY, but to show a woman who a man would consider curvy, right?
yes, she's overweight. but she's not morbidly obese. she's what we would call curvy or voluptuous. that's all.
i was responding to somebody who was mad because the term "curvy" has been misappropriated by morbidly obese woman that use it as a euphemism. her idea of "curvy" was Marilyn Monroe. her definition is big boobs, slender waist, big hips. as a guy, i would use a more flattering term than "curvy" to describe a woman like that.
No one is responding to you, though. We're responding to the woman who is offended because she knows people who are more overweight than the woman in the photo and therefore the woman in the photo can't be overweight.
to be honest, i lost track of who was responding to who. this thread has a mind of its own. i'm out of it now. taking my ball and going home. have fun.
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I'm a woman and when I hear "a woman who takes care of body" I think of:
Healthy (healthy food, healthy exercise, going to doctors for check up regularly, no smoking, socially drinking)
Good teeth, good skin, good hair, all natural or natural looking
Regularly waxing, regular moisturizing,regular mani/pedi.0 -
I have and will continue to contend that the biggest problem with online dating is that people dismiss potential dates based on a photograph and a paragraph or two. If those same two people met out in the real world, the person one dismissed online might actual be someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with.
I'm not saying that someone who's normally attracted to very thin women will go for a woman who's moribidly obese even in the real world, but what we all think we're looking for sometimes is very different from what we really want. And you can't figure that out through a computer screen.
And, seriously, some very attractive people don't photograph well.
This last line is sooooo true. In real life, people mistake me all the time for George Clooney. They say we're like twins....and then look at this pic.....NOT even CLOSE to looking like Clooney0 -
You can only expect from a man what you can give... in other words, if you're still 'fat' then you're going to have to accept you're probably going to end up with a bigger man.
I 100% disagree with this statement.
I know plenty of people whose spouse or significant other is much heavier or skinnier than they are.
All this means is the thinner guys who won't date a fat girl (or vice versa) are shallow and only care about looks. So who would want to date a shallow person anyway?
Nope. Usually means they fell in love with them before they gained weight or that they are hung like a horse.
Nope, my friend (a girl) has always been very overweight, and her husband is a normal weight. He obviously had no problem with it.0 -
It absolutely does. Anybody who believes otherwise is fooling themselves.I always thought it meant No Fatties.
Even if I were at a healthy weight, fit, etc, I'd never want to date someone who posted in their online Profile "looking for a girl who takes care of themselves" because that is a shallow statement.
Unless they are really really really into working out and they want someone equally as obsessed. (which usually isn't the case).0 -
I personally don't think it is necessarily the case that they are saying "hot", don't get me wrong there is quite a possibility that is what they mean, but may not be the whole story. In my opinion It could mean a number of things:
1 - weights and cardio to stay fit.
2 - nutrition - (so there wont be the tendency to sit on the couch in the evenings stuffing your face and watching the TV)
3 - "Hot" - however this is massively subjective.
4 - Active - not in the gym sense but has the drive to be out doors.
If people are not willing to give you a chance to look into who you actually are and not define you by physical attributes, do you really want them in your life anyway??
^this!!0 -
guys dont want to know about your weight loss journey... thats why you dont get replies...
amen!!!0 -
Well, in my experience, (and I'm certainly not a guy but have known a few over the years...), he means no overweight women.0
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I agree with the guys it means they want a hot girl that takes care of her body. I feel the say way too and I think we all do. Looks are very important and so is the body. I work my *kitten* off to look nice for whoever I am with and I want a man to take care of himself too. What girl doesn't like to see a guys abs and V cut? Just being honest. I have also been on both sides of the fence but didn't stay to long on the wrong side. I hope I didn't upset you and if I did I am sorry. I am just being honest!!!0
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It means they want a woman with an attractive body that isn't overweight...when you tell guys you are working on being fit and healthy it can give a negative impression about you rather than the one you hoped for as they might think-
You are already overweight
You live an unhealthy lifestyle to have got there in the first place
You struggle with your weight and may do so in the future
Even when you get healthy and slim you will still struggle and may become overweight again later on in the relationship
You probably moan a lot about only being able to eat lettuce and make a boring dinner date
If you are currently overweight/unhealthy you may not be as active in the bedroom department
You have no willpower
etc0 -
It means they want a woman with an attractive body that isn't overweight...when you tell guys you are working on being fit and healthy it can give a negative impression about you rather than the one you hoped for as they might think-
You are already overweight
You live an unhealthy lifestyle to have got there in the first place
You struggle with your weight and may do so in the future
Even when you get healthy and slim you will still struggle and may become overweight again later on in the relationship
You probably moan a lot about only being able to eat lettuce and make a boring dinner date
If you are currently overweight/unhealthy you may not be as active in the bedroom department
You have no willpower
etc
This0 -
Hi I am a Guy. It doesn't generally mean that he wants someone who is hot....well we all want someone who we deem as hot. But I believe they just want someone who isn't a lazy slob. Someone who is active, obviously works out, dresses well / right for their body. It doesn't necessarily mean they want someone who is thin / skinny. There are a lot of thin skinny people who are slobs and lazy. If the person is an active person I am pretty sure they are looking for the same thing.
I agree.
My husband and I met on an internet dating site, and it was a very similar scenario. For him, a woman who 'takes care of herself' meant exactly the above. I'm not "skinny"; never have been, probably never will be- but I like to be outdoors, skiing/snowshoeing in the winter and hiking, swimming and playing tennis in the summer. I cook healthy and take pride in my appearance.
My advice would be, don't talk about your weight loss/fitness goals unless they bring it up. If they don't respond to you, they're not worth your time; if they do, they probably think you're pretty interesting, regardless your weight.0 -
How about when I guy says I want a woman that will take care of me? :happy:0
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Sure, in a perfect world, we'd all have a husband or wife that had a great body and was physically fit. Unfortunately, it isn't a perfect world. If you have the attitude that you want someone with a great body (whether you have one yourself or not), you could be missing out on a bunch of really great potential mates. When I met my current husband, I DID have a good body, but had I limited myself to only dating people in the same shape as myself, I never woudl've met him and I wouldn't be married today. Looks are important to a degree - just so you are physically attracted to someone - but there are MUCH more important factors in a potential mate besides looks. Looks will change down the road, but other things, like personality, etc are what keep a relationship growing. Without that, you have a good looking person and that's it.0
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Sure, in a perfect world, we'd all have a husband or wife that had a great body and was physically fit. Unfortunately, it isn't a perfect world. If you have the attitude that you want someone with a great body (whether you have one yourself or not), you could be missing out on a bunch of really great potential mates. When I met my current husband, I DID have a good body, but had I limited myself to only dating people in the same shape as myself, I never woudl've met him and I wouldn't be married today. Looks are important to a degree - just so you are physically attracted to someone - but there are MUCH more important factors in a potential mate besides looks. Looks will change down the road, but other things, like personality, etc are what keep a relationship growing. Without that, you have a good looking person and that's it.
:flowerforyou:0
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