When a Guy Says I Want a Woman That Takes Care of Her Body

gypsyrose64

Didn't have time to read all the posts in this thread, but I can speak from personal experience only. After years of dabbling with various dating sites, it seems a great deal of people treat dating sites like online catalogs for their idea of a perfect mate(or booty call). Flipping through profiles like you would a magazine, getting one-dimensional impressions of that person based on a picture and their writing skills.

It's almost impossible to get a true picture of someone without investing the effort through in-person conversation and time. I think it's easy to get ambivalent after so many disappointments, and just raise your bar so high that disappointment is minimized (along with options).

I've been overweight for 15 years and single for the last 10 years. I posted updated pictures, and clearly stated I am more than "a few extra pounds", but working on bettering myself and living an active life. Nine of a ten times, I'd get some yahoo who either 1) wants to play peek-a-boo on the webcam only 2) looking for a one night stand or 3) thinks that I'm not really THAT big. It never failed the latter would meet me and then complain that I didn't represent myself properly(to my face) or disappear.

So I tired of that and literally put my measurements and weight at the top of the profile, like a banner of truth. Then the only ones that would give me their time were men who were 20 yrs older than me, or 100+ lbs heavier than me. Not to sound hypocritical, but I have preferences too.

I had one guy tell me that his "man book" states... "never date a woman that weighs more than the man!"

I deleted my dating profiles 3 yrs ago and gave up. Maybe I'll try again when I'm under 150 #s and fall into the acceptable category for most.

thatjulesgirl

3. Frankly I didn't want to see that naked - I do NOT have a perfect body and don't claim to but no, that's not something I'd like to look at

But the guy should have a perfect body though right? Because we're held to a higher standard than you. Stay classy!

I have to say - I think it's the other way round. I'm constantly in awe at the disparity in what's acceptable (at least here in Australia). Big guys are 'husky' and people usually laugh at their enormous beer-bellies. They can be lazy, slobbish couch potatoes who eat **** but there are never any 'consequences' for it - I see them out with friends all the time, picking up super thin, pretty girls and I've never heard of a guy complaining that he was turned down for a job or had some kid yell something cruel and abusive from a passing car. Fat men seem to be faaaaaar more socially acceptable than fat women who, in my experience, seem to get rejected or taunted or miss out on dating etc. There's definitely an inequality... but I suppose each sex is going to think they're the ones who are worse off :P

sillygoosie

Try asking the men who say this because it may mean different things to different people. I want a man who takes care of his body. To me it means he cares about his health and well-being. It also means he may take care of other important things in his life, particularly, his future. To me it also means that when I get my butt up early on a Saturday to go workout, that maybe he would be more inclined to join me.

Also, there's nothing wrong with wanted someone who is aesthetically pleasing.

secretlobster

When a man says "I want a girl who takes care of her body" what he really means is "I want a girl who doesn't poop"

TeachTheGirl

Here's the crux of it; it upsets you to read it because you're not sure what it means and/or you're afraid it's shallow. So rather than seeing it as being the male has the issue, deal with YOUR side of it. Would you be comfortable dating a guy who put that in his form? No, probably not. So you've saved yourself the trouble there.

They're weeding out the undesirables based on looks. You're weeding out the undesirables based on feelings.

Win/win.

WinnerVictorious

it's funny how this thread has morphed.

secretlobster

it's funny how this thread has morphed.

This thread has really let itself go

rml_16

it's funny how this thread has morphed.

This thread has really let itself go

It'll never get a date.

WinnerVictorious

it's funny how this thread has morphed.

This thread has really let itself go

i like a thread that takes care of itself.

Dub_D

It means exactly what it sounds like.

...Next

flatbellybella

a lot of men who say that generally do not take care of theirs. They just keep mistaking that beer gut as a six pack.

With that being said I would not date a guy who didn't take care of his health or a guy who couldn't at least run a 10k lol

verptwerp

bump to read later :bigsmile:

capnrus789

When a man says "I want a girl who takes care of her body" what he really means is "I want a girl who doesn't poop"

Or burp or fart. chicks don't do that. My mom told me so.

EatClean_WashUrNuts

I love how many women perceive to know what all men think. You're everything every man desires...:grumble:


Taking care of your body does not equate to what you perceive as "Smokin' Hot". While there is a level of physicality to which each man finds attractive, the woman does not have to be some SI Swimsuit model.

Why not stop worrying about what others think and what you believe you will never equate to and focus on what YOU want? It makes the world a far more better place :flowerforyou:

DontStopB_Leakin

This thread has already devolved so low that it's absolutely pointless for me to even bother contributing.


So....

chocl8girl

Wow. This topic escalated quickly. How about, everyone accept themselves for who they are, and accept others for who they are, and be honest with yourself and each other?

Here are some kitties.

ShreddedTweet

I haven't read any of the replies but if nobody else has suggested not calling it a 'weightloss journey' then everyone has been remiss.

CM9178

It is a nice way of saying "I don't want to date a fat girl".

WinnerVictorious

Wow. This topic escalated quickly. How about, everyone accept themselves for who they are, and accept others for who they are, and be honest with yourself and each other?

Here are some kitties.

ewww! that 6th cat is fat. definitely not curvy.

Jacwhite22

I want to know from a man's perspective what he means by this saying? I've been on a few dating sites, not recently but in the past, where a man will say in his profile " I want a woman that takes care of her body." The first thing I think about is that he wants someone that's physically fit. Am I right? Or is he specifically meaning hygienically or both? I would contact some of them that I thought were attractive and tell them about myself and a little about the journey I am on with weight loss and trying to become healthy and fit. I rarely got replies from any of them so I concluded that I just wasn't physically attractive enough for them. It kind of discourages me when I see guys that say this kind of stuff and won't give you a chance because you are overweight and on the track to changing it. And don't get me wrong, I UNDERSTAND THAT EVERYONE HAS PREFERENCES! I am not saying that these guys are shallow or rude for wanting something specific but it just discourages me when I'm not given a chance even though I am trying to change my health and become more physically fit. I said that I understand the preference, because I myself have a preference and it makes me feel somewhat hypocritical. I like a guy that takes pride in working out to be and stay healthy, I'm typically not attracted to guys that are overweight and don't make an effort to be healthy, but I won't always turn a guy down solely on physical looks, I will try and get to know someone before I completely say "Yeah, okay, no this isn't what I am looking for". Okay, I am not sure why I went on that tangent, I guess I am just wanting different guy's perspectives on the saying "I want a woman that takes care of her body" and if you are that type of guy that wants someone that's in shape and takes care of her body by cardio and weights, would you give a lady a chance knowing that she is legitimately trying to change herself?

JMHO.....Lose the weight you want to lose........become happy with yourself.........then you can be happy with someone else.

Jacwhite22

I haven't read any of the replies but if nobody else has suggested not calling it a 'weightloss journey' then everyone has been remiss.

And this. Don't ever use the word journey.

Alex_is_Hawks

I haven't read any of the replies but if nobody else has suggested not calling it a 'weightloss journey' then everyone has been remiss.

And this. Don't ever use the word journey.

Unless you are in the band Journey...then....then maybe we'll cut you some slack

WinnerVictorious

I haven't read any of the replies but if nobody else has suggested not calling it a 'weightloss journey' then everyone has been remiss.

And this. Don't ever use the word journey.

Steve Perry wants to know what's your problem with Journey.

jackpotclown

maybe the dude has had some nasties in his past, and wants to make sure the basics are covered.......ya know, showers once in a while....shaves her legs, v, face, tongue, maybe visits her gyne once in a while, make sure her rats nest hair is free from infestation......maybe he had a mail order bride in the past......you just never know....could be warts, etc....maybe she had a skin condition......so many variables....\m/

CM9178

You can only expect from a man what you can give... in other words, if you're still 'fat' then you're going to have to accept you're probably going to end up with a bigger man.

I 100% disagree with this statement.
I know plenty of people whose spouse or significant other is much heavier or skinnier than they are.
All this means is the thinner guys who won't date a fat girl (or vice versa) are shallow and only care about looks. So who would want to date a shallow person anyway?

CollegiateGrief

He really means "I want a woman who takes care of her body in the way I want her to". Pretty much, he means he wants someone who is thin and won't get fat, who has body hair the way he desires it, etc.

He actually doesn't care about the woman's health as far as exercise and nutrition go. He just cares that she looks a certain way.

Who hurt you?

The patriarchy?

^ Nice!!!

Alex_is_Hawks

so I'm curious....does "take care of her body" mean

she's done the taking care to the point where she's at maintenance?

or do the guys that post that also mean...

she's currently still taking care and has 50 pounds (insert random number that matches your current position) to lose but technically is STILL taking care of herself...

cause it could be read both ways...but I suspect the guys really only want the one that's at maintenance so they don't have to watch the process, just reap the rewards...

youknowwhati'msayin?

stellarcanicula

I always thought it meant No Fatties.

wolfpack77

IMO when a person is happy with her looks they're more likely to have a confident, sexy attitude and that's attractive. This concept isn't rocket science and it applies to both sexes. Of course we want you to look good, because if you look good then you feel good and that's sexy. And yes if you want to stay that way you're going to have to work at it. That means taking care of your body.

Stop over complicating the issue. It really is that simple.

gypsyrose64

I could be way off base, but I also wonder how many people(men/women) see a person loosing weight and think "how long before they gain it back?" If they weren't into heavyweights before(or personally fighting the bulge), they'd probably avoid someone with perceived potential to go backwards in their "journey".