When a Guy Says I Want a Woman That Takes Care of Her Body

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  • steve1686
    steve1686 Posts: 346 Member
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    i don't want my girl to be a fitness model or anything, but it's nice to know she at least cares. Plus with fitness being such a big part of my life, it would be nice if she were into it also
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
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    It's more the attitude aspect. If a women takes care of her self, has the self determination to work out each week and takes pride in her appearance that is a sexy attitude IMO. thats the sort of person I would want to spend my time with.

    If you're an active guy and love to work out 4-5 times a week it's unlikely you are going to be compatible with someone who would rather sit in all day and eat junk food on the coach. If that makes me shallow then so be it, IDGAF.

    My sentiments, exactly. To me, the aesthetics are a secondary element, and actually a byproduct, of the discipline. With my job, I like to know that a woman in my life can take care of herself without me being immediately in the picture. For me, the best indicator of this is that she takes care of herself before I'm in the picture at all.

    When we're talking an online dating site, I do look for certain indicators. I pretty much don't search at all for anyone who says they "never" exercise even if they're still "skinny" or "hot". If she doesn't look it, but is working on it, that's where I use other questions and dig a bit: What kind of exercise does she like to do? Does she have a history with exercise or lack thereof? In particular, what are her attitudes towards exercise? There was one individual whose definition of working out daily was taking her dog for a walk and nothing beyond that. It's certainly physical activity, but it wasn't what I consider exercise because there's no guarantee of intensity. When I walk my dog, I just chalk that up as daily activity, not as part of my exercise regimen.

    For me, there's the big issue that fitness is a part of my life. Since 2006, I've been in a position where failure to maintain my physical fitness meant I risked losing my job, if not my life. This was reinforced in 2009, when being as fit as I was is all that kept me alive until I could reach competent medical care at a time when the doctors weren't sure I'd be able to last that long. Plus, if I don't get out and REALLY exercise, getting my heart pumping, sweating, and feeling the burn, I get grumpy and irritable, which isn't the kind of person I'd expect a woman to want to be in a relationship with, anyway.

    So I really do benefit physically and spiritually from regular exercise. Having lived with people who didn't have the same approach to fitness as I did, I know how hard it is to go work out when your friends whose company you're enjoying feel their time is better spent watching television or otherwise NOT exercising. I'd like to think that a woman who works out on her own would at least understand why I want to go out and exercise and encourage me to do so. Plus, exercise can sometimes be more enjoyable with a friend. It'd be nice if that "special someone" could at least occasionally be that workout buddy.

    I'll say right now that I've worked with women I found incredibly attractive and they just had a basic, dedicated fitness approach and basic hygene. Even when military regulations restrict their ability to use makeup and eliminate their ability to choose a flattering outfit, generally eliminating their ability to look "hot", it was the spark of determination in their eyes while we were out exercising or working in the dirt that caught my attention.


    I've heard and seen some extemely touching stories about relationships where having the right man was all a woman needed to be able to help them get their fitness back under control. The best one was one of my parent's friends who told his wife, who was distraught over her weight gain, that "it simply meant there was more of her to love". And that acceptance destroyed her motive for emotional eating. But I've got to be honest. Part of my job involves being ready to take off and go into harm's way for months at a time, possibly with little notice. It's part of who I am and what I do. As much as I'd like to be able to be one of those men, the reality is I just don't think I could provide the necessary stability for someone who needs me around to provide that support. Luckily, i know some men who are able to do just exactly that.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    I wonder if it has something to do with him wanting to decrease the likelihood of his woman getting big later on. We've all seen those couples who look great when they get married and then let themselves go. A lot of this is just because they were young back then, and the weight simply crept up over the years. However, if you ask for someone who actually works out, you know that they know how to keep the weight off.