why do people care that someone is fat?

honkytonks85

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firstsip

Good god.

Was it that much to ask for someone not to dismiss or minimise weight discrimination as fat people being 'too sensitive'?
Even with all the evidence?
Even with personal experiences shared?

But you minimized other people's discrimination from their own personal experiences...?

See where this becomes a constant ouroboros of discussion? You don't realize what you've said, even when it's been directly quoted back to you. You interepret things people say in a way wholly unlike their actual words. You sling passive aggression like a fourteen year old angry at their mom.

Is discrimination bad? Yes. Is there discrimination based on weight? Yes. Can some people be too sensitive to things in life, for example, considering random bullying as discrimination? Yes.

All of this could be said in general, in response to personal experiences, and in response to cited evidence.

But you can sit here and say all you want what you "said earlier"... we know what you said. We have the posts to look at. And you said the same things, several times. They were uninformed, they were offensive, and they were apparently not understood.

Sigh.

firstsip

...And you're deleting your posts now. Interesting that I mentioned, "We can all see your posts and see what you said."

Well, I hope this means you've learned to think about what you say before you post.

honkytonks85

Good god.

Was it that much to ask for someone not to dismiss or minimise weight discrimination as fat people being 'too sensitive'?
Even with all the evidence?
Even with personal experiences shared?

But you minimized other people's discrimination from their own personal experiences...?

See where this becomes a constant ouroboros of discussion? You don't realize what you've said, even when it's been directly quoted back to you. You interepret things people say in a way wholly unlike their actual words. You sling passive aggression like a fourteen year old angry at their mom.

Is discrimination bad? Yes. Is there discrimination based on weight? Yes. Can some people be too sensitive to things in life, for example, considering random bullying as discrimination? Yes.

All of this could be said in general, in response to personal experiences, and in response to cited evidence.



Sigh.

Can I ask you a question?

If you believe that minimising discrimination was the wrong thing for me to do, then why didn't you ever tell jayche they were wrong for minimising weight discrimination? That's what they did in their post. Yet you have chosen to criticise me for doing the same thing as they were.

I am not 'thinking about what I said'. I know what I meant, I know who I am, I know what I believe. I do not believe my pain is any worse than any others. I do not believe that weight discrimination is worse than discrimination against black people, Muslims, gays, women (historically anyway). So what's there to think about? It's a case of coming across poorly on the internet. That happens sometimes, it's a text based medium.

I do believe that weight discrimination exists and that's an issue that can take toll on their self esteem and worth. I do believe that some groups are more discriminated against others. *Again, I am not suggesting that it's worse for fat people than everybody else, need to add that because if I don't someone might suggest that I am minimising discrimination!!*

I know that bullying happens to everyone, not just to fat people, though I think bullying can be worse for fat people based on my experiences from being fat to no longer being fat.. of course it's going to vary depending on where you are and who you are with. I know that I incorrectly worded things and came across in a way that I didn't intend, but it's really hard when 3 people are on you and all you're trying to do is stand up for the obese.

I deleted my posts because I realised this was a pointless discussion and it wasn't going anywhere. I may have worded things poorly but quite frankly, the stuff that happened to me growing up isn't really an issue for me anymore. It happened then and it sucked, but yeah, I don't care anymore.

firstsip

I wish patience to all people who encounter you in the future, and I wish you enlightenment and self-awareness as you study for that degree.

honkytonks85

I wish patience to all people who encounter you in the future, and I wish you enlightenment and self-awareness as you study for that degree.

You didn't answer my question. Why was it OK for jayche to minimise weight discrimination but not OK for me to suggest that discrimination is worse for fat people than others (even though I specified that other groups were also discriminated against, and that I was misinterpeted).

I hope that you realise that you were in fact being hypocritical. Or maybe you just need to go back to school and re-learn reading comprehension.

I already admitted I was wrong and I worded things incorrectly. How much more self aware can I be?

peckish_pomegranate

I think the honest to goodness truth is that people think healthy is a mindset, and in their healthy mindset hating on people they perceive as less healthy (a false assumption, as size is no indicator of health) makes them better. It's a self-congratulatory thing. On the flip side, unattractiveness scares them because it's a reminder that appearances are a tenuous and temporary thing. Especially fat people who love their bodies, that really pisses people off. That says to the fitness world, "You work so hard trying to look good/be healthy/whatever your goal because you think it'll make people like you better, you'll get laid, you'll live longer etc. and here I am being happy and enjoying fatty food and being big and loving life anyway." There's the self-hate of fat negativity.

firstsip

I wish patience to all people who encounter you in the future, and I wish you enlightenment and self-awareness as you study for that degree.

You didn't answer my question. Why was it OK for jayche to minimise weight discrimination but not OK for me to suggest that discrimination is worse for fat people than others (even though I specified that other groups were also discriminated against, and that I was misinterpeted).

I hope that you realise that you were in fact being hypocritical. Or maybe you just need to go back to school and re-learn reading comprehension.

I already admitted I was wrong and I worded things incorrectly. How much more self aware can I be?

Noticed you edited your earlier comment; realized you missed some things, eh?

"I do believe that some groups are more discriminated against others. *Again, I am not suggesting that it's worse for fat people than everybody else, need to add that because if I don't someone might suggest that I am minimising discrimination!!*" < Things like this are why I'm not wasting more time with you. I spent quite a bit of time trying to talk to you, and you have yet to acknowledge what the problem truly was. Even here, it's all evasive.

Also, my beef wasn't with jaychee... it was with you. Jaychee didn't come in here saying, "Hey, I've dealt with the worst discrimination that's ever happened, and happens daily, and no one else get sit daily." YOU kept changing your tune on this, but only after several posts of saying, "Nope. Obese people have it worse." You are STILL denying you said things like this, even though there's a good five or six posts here where you did.

Plus, like I said... Jaychee DIDN'T minimize discrimination. His issue with you was YOUR minimizing of his discrimination, and he ALSO called you out on "not understanding what I'm saying." You have been interpreting everyone's saying in such an insane manner, I can't tell if you have issues of perception, or perhaps issues of reading comprehension.

honkytonks85

Plus, like I said... Jaychee DIDN'T minimize discrimination. His issue with you was YOUR minimizing of his discrimination, and he ALSO called you out on "not understanding what I'm saying." You have been interpreting everyone's saying in such an insane manner, I can't tell if you have issues of perception, or perhaps issues of reading comprehension.

Do I need to point out (again) the original post that I responded to? Here's a bit of a recap

Can't really say but a lot of "fat" people that I met always think everyone's looking down at them for some reason when it's simply not the case. Everyone is discriminated against/bullied but it seems as though "fat" people are the most sensitive to it.

How was this *not* minimising weight discrimination? He literally said that 'everybody gets discriminated against' and that fat people are just 'more sensitive to it'. If that's not minimising it, I really don't know what is.

After this I explained some of the things I had encountered to him based on my experiences as an obese person (such as being denied jobs and told that I wasn't allowed to enter peoples houses).. then he talked about his own experiences with racial discrimination, this was my exact response:

Yep, people can be racist and people are discriminated against for other reasons than weight. I am just saying comparatively there is a lot more discrimination against fat people versus people of a normal weight.

Where in my post did I minimise his racial discrimination? I was actually comparing 'fat vs skinny' discrimination NOT 'fat vs racial discrimination' or 'fat vs gender discrimination'. And can you imagine if someone complained about racial discrimination and I had said something like "discrimination happens to everybody, you're just more sensitive to it!". You would say I was minimising their pain/feelings, would you not? Yet jayche saying what he said was perfectly OK (why, well, because it's about fat people of course).

So, the rest of my post now:

The amount of abuse I copped was not just sometimes, it was every single damned day. Fat discrimination is a socially acceptable form of discrimination. Unlike racism, people justify fat discrimination with stuff like 'well, they are a burden on society' or 'they're just weak and lacking in self control therefore it's OK'.

When I was morbidly obese I had 0 friends (except for the couple of people who were not good friends), nobody wanted to be my friend because of my weight. I was constantly turned down jobs (surprise surprise, when I lost the weight my career opportunities vastly improved), I do not believe for a second this kind of **** happens regularly to slim people. Sorry.

I was comparing the experience of 'fat vs slim' not vs ethnicity, not religion, not homosexuality. Yes, I realise that skinny people can also get discriminated against if they're asian, or black, or anything really because discrimination will be different for different areas and cultures. But that just had nothing to do with the point I was making. I was talking about weight discrimination. Weight discrimination is about discrimination against people based on their weight, so I can really only talk about comparing fat vs slim because that's the issue I was talking about. Just like if I were talking about gay discrimination, you are comparing the discrimination faced by homosexuals vs straight people. You don't go 'well gay discrimination is not a big deal because everybody faces discrimination, like some straight people are asian, so they face discrimination therefore what can you even complain about'. That's a fundamentally flawed way of looking at the issue. Does this make sense?

So then you chimed in with:

These things happen very regularly to people regardless of their weight, and unfortunately many of the same arguments are used. It doesn't make it right that it happens to someone who's overweight, but it's hardly true that "daily discrimination" only occurs to overweight people.

OH, don't forget this little gem:

"I felt like this when I was obese; I felt like society treated me like this because I was obese" but it's another to say those things coupled with, "And NO other group gets this treatment daily."

Yeah, pretty sure I *never* said that daily discrimination only occurs to overweight people, but you totally twisted what I said and insisted that's what I meant when it wasn't. You essentially just made up stuff about what I said ("NO other group gets this treatment daily"). If you could point out exactly where and when I said those exact words then fine, great. But you can't because I just read through all the posts, and there was nothing of the sort. Go back to the original post. It's right there. I won't be visiting this thread again.

firstsip

Lol, I'll let the peanut gallery judge your very open comprehension issues for themselves.

First quote, and you interpreted it by adding in words... "putting words in Jayche's mouth," as he and I pointed out?

Other quotes fully missing all of the things I quoted YOU saying... aka, intellectual dishonesty by only quoting what you WISH to quote?

You are one of the most ignorant people I've ever encountered on here. I just can't figure out if you can help it or not.

CassieRoark

It only bothers me if its somebody's child.....

Other than that live and let live. Just don't complain about it.
Oh while your at it, a lot of people have anger against thin people as well.

Me too

jayche

Yeah, pretty sure I *never* said that daily discrimination only occurs to overweight people

I definitely acknowledge that [other kinds of discrimination occur outside of being overweight, such as race, age, sex, orientation,etc], for sure. But it's not a daily thing, and generally people who are of a normal weight and who are not living in a society with a lot of racism etc. do not have their looks define them.

Taken from page 4, post was made on Tue 01/08/13 07:54 PM.