Diet + Love: Has this ever happened to anyone?

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  • Drussander
    Drussander Posts: 266 Member
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    Truth is, your partner doesn't need you to survive. Yet she does need food to survive.

    If she gave up the food and kept you, I think you should be OK.
  • eatcleanNtraindirty
    eatcleanNtraindirty Posts: 444 Member
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    I take this stuff pretty seriously. If she's capable of making really radical decisions on the turn of a dime she can probably cut you loose with no emotion at all. I've always been really fickle when it came to people and found that I can also re-invent myself really easily too. Similarly, I've never been dumped, I've always been the dumper.

    So I'm not saying that it's certain she's going to get rid of you, but I'm just saying that when she does, don't expect her to feel any emotion whatsoever. Anything you do see is likely to be faked for your benefit.

    Sorry for the raincloud :-( Good luck with your Journey!

    Wow. Not what I wanted to hear.:ohwell:

    Do you think that there is anything I can do to help the situation, though?

    YES! Be good for her. Continue building a healthy, fun, and exciting relationship! She swore of BAD things right? So be a great and supportive partner. Don't stress or worry or get clingy! Cuz doing those things will drive her away.
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
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    I take this stuff pretty seriously. If she's capable of making really radical decisions on the turn of a dime she can probably cut you loose with no emotion at all. I've always been really fickle when it came to people and found that I can also re-invent myself really easily too. Similarly, I've never been dumped, I've always been the dumper.

    So I'm not saying that it's certain she's going to get rid of you, but I'm just saying that when she does, don't expect her to feel any emotion whatsoever. Anything you do see is likely to be faked for your benefit.

    Sorry for the raincloud :-( Good luck with your Journey!

    ^^ Sounds like me these days lol.

    Food and people are like comparing apples and oranges. My experience is that if you even have to ask, you already know your answer. Don't second-guess your gut instincts!
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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  • Bronx_Montgomery
    Bronx_Montgomery Posts: 2,287 Member
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    hmmm.....sounds like she is getting rid of things that do harm to her body and taste bad. So unless you taste bad and do harm to her body ( unless she is into that stuff) then you have no reason to worry.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    pls explain emotional eating and the millions of people that turn to or away from food because of the mental and emotional challenges that they cannot control in their lives.

    I don't see how that applies even remotely to the OP's story. Sure, people can have emotional attachments to food that are healthy or unhealthy, but food is an inanimate object that can't reciprocate love or dump you.

    i wasnt making a connection to the OP's story- I was responding to you. You were the OP in my post...

    i agree with you, so you dont have to be mean just because I asked you to elaborate lol (damn really?) just because food wont love you back, doesnt mean you might not unhealthily view it as a representation of other things.

    Im not an emotional eater and i dont have food troubles, but I listen and understand that some people in one of these mindsets, might detach from people just like foods, when trying to make big changes too fast.
  • Stripeness
    Stripeness Posts: 511 Member
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    Hehehehe - I considered multiple options to the phrase "man up"...and have been know to say "ovary up."

    The lesbian indignation card is not the best one to play with another queer :-)

    Your response though, is similar to your OP, in that you're immediately leaping to a dramatic conclusion.
  • aylajane
    aylajane Posts: 979 Member
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    Enjoy your differences... it makes you more interesting. The day you are in sync about everything and anything, you will have absolutely NOTHING to talk about anymore. Who wants that?!

    I never thought about it this way. Can you explain more about how I could enjoy our differences or bring that into our relationship?

    You could start by having a friendly discussion on WHY she decided to cut those things out? Maybe she read an article - you could ask her to point you to it... Show your interest in her new choices and make it clear you are not judging or doubting her, you just want to understand and are interested in what she does in her life. Its one of those "end of day" conversations - "Hi honey, how was your day?" " Pretty good, I read this great article that explains in words I completely understood why I shouldnt be drinking wine. I think I am going to try cutting it out for a bit and see how it goes. " "oh that sounds interesting - where was the article? Can I get a copy? I dont think I could cut out wine but I am really interested in what you saw in it".

    Its just being interested in her life, without "grading" her choices or second guessing her thoughts. Just a fun, open discussion and maybe even a good natured debate. Or a contest - you each try what the other thinks is the way to go and compare notes - loser buys the new outfits after you figure out which works best (which might not be the same for both of you!)

    Good luck :)
  • zen82
    zen82 Posts: 81 Member
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    Hi guys, I'm new here and really into the whole lifestyle change thing. I don't believe in calling this a diet. But my partner recently started her own "resolutioner" diet, and she has sworn off like ten things. She's not eating cheese or drinking alcohol anymore. She's completely cut off all kinds of "bad" foods, which I think are totally fine to eat in moderation.

    This is kind of making me nervous, to be honest. I mean, if she can just reject the things she used to love like that, what will she do to me? She says she loves me, but I have to admit that seeing her reject all the things we loved together (WIIIIINE :love: ) makes me wonder if she will just shove me away, too. Anyway, has anyone ever had to deal with rejection from a dieting partner? Should I talk to her about my feelings or will this just go away on its own?

    You haven't said anything specific about her rejecting you in your post, only wine... So the question is more do you think this is changing things so radically you're different together (and does that have to be a problem?) or is she just not drinking wine now... I'd say the bigger problem is you're not talking to her about it, you're posting here. Maybe just have a conversation about this, one which isn't accusatory or whatever, just talk.
  • ChefTJP
    ChefTJP Posts: 108 Member
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    Some of these responses are sad and appalling. Read my profile - TALK TO HER!!!!! communicate!!!! I didnt and it has destroyed my relationship.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    Truth is, your partner doesn't need you to survive. Yet she does need food to survive.

    If she gave up the food and kept you, I think you should be OK.

    awwwwwwwwwwwwww thats kinda sweet :flowerforyou:
  • sz8soon
    sz8soon Posts: 816 Member
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    Actually this did happen to me! I was with my SO for almost 4 years, we even got a dog together! But then he started getting all healthy and stuff- and everything changed. We stopped going to parties together, he quit coming with me to go shopping, he started spending time at the gym and ignoring me because he was more concerned with how he looked. Eventually he even quit his job--- like who does that? All because he wanted to workout. Well when that loser quit his job and couldn't buy me anything I asked for anymore.. girl I kicked that boy to curb. So watch yo self.. your partner could go down that same road. some people get really obessive when it comes to their "new" way of life. If you want to chat about it- I'll PM you my contact information- do you KIK?

    Yikes! This is scary stuff, I am sorry you had to go through that... I am sure you are better off now, though.

    I do KIK. We can talk. :)
    I KIK too. We can Three-way. I would LOVE to support you both.

    ooh ok- it's always more fun when it's in a group!
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    Actually this did happen to me! I was with my SO for almost 4 years, we even got a dog together! But then he started getting all healthy and stuff- and everything changed. We stopped going to parties together, he quit coming with me to go shopping, he started spending time at the gym and ignoring me because he was more concerned with how he looked. Eventually he even quit his job--- like who does that? All because he wanted to workout. Well when that loser quit his job and couldn't buy me anything I asked for anymore.. girl I kicked that boy to curb. So watch yo self.. your partner could go down that same road. some people get really obessive when it comes to their "new" way of life. If you want to chat about it- I'll PM you my contact information- do you KIK?

    Yikes! This is scary stuff, I am sorry you had to go through that... I am sure you are better off now, though.

    I do KIK. We can talk. :)
    I KIK too. We can Three-way. I would LOVE to support you both.

    ooh ok- it's always more fun when it's in a group!

    You ladies Skpe?
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
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    You ladies Skpe?

    Can I dial in? I promise I won't make a noise, I'll just quietly watch and listen. AND WON'T RECORD. PROMISE.
  • sz8soon
    sz8soon Posts: 816 Member
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    Actually this did happen to me! I was with my SO for almost 4 years, we even got a dog together! But then he started getting all healthy and stuff- and everything changed. We stopped going to parties together, he quit coming with me to go shopping, he started spending time at the gym and ignoring me because he was more concerned with how he looked. Eventually he even quit his job--- like who does that? All because he wanted to workout. Well when that loser quit his job and couldn't buy me anything I asked for anymore.. girl I kicked that boy to curb. So watch yo self.. your partner could go down that same road. some people get really obessive when it comes to their "new" way of life. If you want to chat about it- I'll PM you my contact information- do you KIK?

    Yikes! This is scary stuff, I am sorry you had to go through that... I am sure you are better off now, though.

    I do KIK. We can talk. :)
    I KIK too. We can Three-way. I would LOVE to support you both.

    ooh ok- it's always more fun when it's in a group!

    You ladies Skpe?

    sweet baby jeebus- I haven't before- but all you have to do is show me how to do it and I'm game to try!
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    sweet baby jeebus- I haven't before- but all you have to do is show me how to do it and I'm game to try!

    WINNING attitude. :flowerforyou:
    I can teach you lots of things.
    Can I dial in? I promise I won't make a noise, I'll just quietly watch and listen. AND WON'T RECORD. PROMISE.
    NO. Creepers gonna creep.
  • threeohtwo
    threeohtwo Posts: 153 Member
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    So....my girlfriend goes through phases like this too. I don't know what will happen in your relationship but I felt the same way you did. She didn't leave me. Giving up food and giving up a relationship are just not on the same playing field.

    However, if your worry leads to you not supporting her this will cause problems in your relationship. Support her as much as you can. You've got a rockin body so you can't be unhealthy. I'm sure you're super hot and she'd be silly to leave you :)

    Be healthy and happy with her!
    Good luck!
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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  • TheRealPDouble
    TheRealPDouble Posts: 153
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    Can I dial in? I promise I won't make a noise, I'll just quietly watch and listen. AND WON'T RECORD. PROMISE.
    NO. Creepers gonna creep.

    So if he participates is he still considered a creeper...?
  • lyrical_melody
    lyrical_melody Posts: 242 Member
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    I would say stop worring about her swearing off you and embrace the change. She is making this change to help herself and her ultimate goal in weight loss and for her, this is the way that she can do it. Just because she LOVED wine or cheese, doesnt mean shes going to get rid of you because she loves you too. loving wine is different then loving a person.

    Support her in her resolutions...she'll love you more for it.

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