Diet + Love: Has this ever happened to anyone?

RilantheFirebug

I feel like maybe you are reading a bit too much into it...? Stopping eating a food because its bad for you (you can't control how much you eat and you binge, its a trigger, etc etc) is not the same as deciding a person is bad for you. A lot of people, myself included, dive into a new lifestyle change of eating healthy head first and do tend to try to cut out things completely before realizing that we can have in moderation.

Maddalen101

I don't see anything saying she is forcing you to make the same food choices she is making, or that she is ragging you for your food choices.
If she is, then there is definitely trouble ahead.
If she's not, then relax. Your choices are yours, and hers, hers.
Just be sure you are both on that page.

jesz124

I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.

Kinda my thoughts too. Changing food and exercise habits doesn't usually relate to dumping a partner in my experience.

VorJoshigan

I recommend that you go single white female on her. Do EVERYTHING she does & then she'll really know that you love her AND you will be as "healthy" as her.

Also, well done. Tip of the hat to you.

1ConcreteGirl

I don't see anything saying she is forcing you to make the same food choices she is making, or that she is ragging you for your food choices.
If she is, then there is definitely trouble ahead.
If she's not, then relax. Your choices are yours, and hers, hers.
Just be sure you are both on that page.

Thanks, I'm feeling a lot better about this situation than I was this morning. I have decided to have a calm conversation about my feelings with her. Can anyone offer my suggestions as far as how to approach her? I used to have these conversations with her when she was kinda tipsy, but like I said... no more alcohol.

1ConcreteGirl

Thank you! Do you have any suggestions for me about my gf though?

BurtHuttz

I'd say just approach her slowly, with your palms out a little so she can see that you don't have any hostile intent. Move really slowly and talk in low and soothing tones. Definitely put on something nice first - something SHE likes, not frumpy or whatever it is you usually wear. I always do this if I need to have a "critical conversation" with my wife, works every time. I'm not sure if lesbians work the same way as normal women though - - maybe there's other things they like.

Jymm

Hi guys, I'm new here and really into the whole lifestyle change thing. I don't believe in calling this a diet. But my partner recently started her own "resolutioner" diet, and she has sworn off like ten things. She's not eating cheese or drinking alcohol anymore. She's completely cut off all kinds of "bad" foods, which I think are totally fine to eat in moderation.

This is kind of making me nervous, to be honest. I mean, if she can just reject the things she used to love like that, what will she do to me? She says she loves me, but I have to admit that seeing her reject all the things we loved together (WIIIIINE ) makes me wonder if she will just shove me away, too. Anyway, has anyone ever had to deal with rejection from a dieting partner? Should I talk to her about my feelings or will this just go away on its own?

Cutting out the things she sees as bad for her all at once may be how she deals with things. It’s an all or nothing approache. She may feel that going on a diet will be tough so she’s going to dig in and give all she’s got to develop the healthy habits she wants. You cold look at that as inner strength. As far as her transferring that way of getting rid of unhealthy things to you I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I’ll bet if you pay attention to how she handles other situations you’ll probably see similarities to how she’s approaching this diet. It may even be something you appreciate in her already but today you’re feeling a little insecure so it bothers. Stand with her in this journey and you’ll both be stronger for it.

kimosabe1

just talk to her about it! Honesty will get u so much further than hiding the truth or having her catch u at something. That is just grounds for dis-missile for real!

Bobby__Clerici

You will succeed; she will fail.
Just be the example of how to get fit the right way.
My wife and I are both on MFP, and we stay miles away from each other's fitness programs.

etoiles_argentees

You ladies Skpe?

Can I dial in? I promise I won't make a noise, I'll just quietly watch and listen. AND WON'T RECORD. PROMISE.

He's lying.

jenilla1

I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.

^-This

You may not agree with the approach she's taking to her diet, but there's a HUGE jump between 'I'm not going to eat cheese anymore' and 'I don't love you anymore'

This sounds like typical "resolutioner" behavior to me. It's usually only temporary. I wouldn't worry. I don't see how her swearing off a few foods can lead to her swearing off her relationship, unless the relationship was bad to begin with, and she's gonna use the new year as an excuse to flush out all the negative aspects of her life...

fmebear

I guess the question is actually how long do you think she will be able to stick with all the things that she's sworn off? Also, why did she start this anyway? Is it just a New Year's Resolution or do you think that maybe seeing you live a healthy lifestyle has made her want to as well? If that's the case then it could mean she's trying to be better for you. There are a lot of variables but at the end of the day, the only thing you can do is be the bigger person and love her if you love her.

On this I would suggest a conversation with her BUT not at any place that you both consider home base. If you are at home, you are more likely to get in a much bigger/louder discussion that it needs be. Ask her why she cut everything out and if this is a temporary thing? You can not know what is happening unless you talk. Communication is priority in a relationship and you should be able to approach her without being accusatory/mean/vindictive but questioning and understanding.

I am the one in our household getting back into the routine of being healthy. My husband will follow once he is ready. As it is right now, I am not drinking. I will drink very occasionally but not every night like last year. This is how I feel better and he understands it. I do not prohibit him from drinking nightly although I believe he would feel better if he didn't. Either way I love him unconditionally as he loves me.

RonnieLodge

my partner recently started her own "resolutioner" diet, and she has sworn off like ten things. She's not eating cheese or drinking alcohol anymore.
This is kind of making me nervous, to be honest.

Should I talk to her about my feelings or will this just go away on its own?

Yes, of course you should discuss it with her.
After you have left it a few days to remember that you are a person, not a food or wine or habit.

I decided to stop drinking, smoking and eating refined sugar for the new year. So far I have managed at least 1 out of 3 each day, sometimes 2. I should hate to think how horrid I would be to live with if all 3 were jettisoned. I got pretty bored of it by noon on new year's day!

MaggieSporleder

OMG. It's just a diet. These people telling you it's over, she's fickle, whatever. How do they really know. I really hope you didn't take any of this to heart love. I gave up gluten, and my husband can't live without his bread. I'm not going to leave him because of it. Go hug her, and relax ok

BuckeyeBabe10

FTW!!!!!! !!!!!

jenilla1

OMG. It's just a diet. These people telling you it's over, she's fickle, whatever. How do they really know. I really hope you didn't take any of this to heart love. I gave up gluten, and my husband can't live without his bread. I'm not going to leave him because of it. Go hug her, and relax ok

:drinker:

clarkeje1

Just talk to her about your feelings.

1ConcreteGirl

Thanks, guys. Lots of great opinions here!!