This site should not be about weight loss bullies !

BrettPGH

bullying present participle of bul·ly
Verb
Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants

I don't think a stranger on the internet can FORCE you to do anything. Bullying is such an overused term here.

Weird, since "cyber bullying" is actually a real concept and a huge problem.

I agree that cyber bullying is a real problem. Cyber bullying is not saying " I don't think HCG is a good diet for you, since it can ruin your health." If someone made a hate website, sent you nasty messages, called you names, and made your real life miserable, THAT would be cyber bullying. This is a forum, people will disagree and voice their opinions.


Also, has anyone noticed that the people advocating normal, healthy diets have reached their goals, whereas people who advocate HCG, juicing, etc have not? Just something to think about.

I do not even know what HCG is. I do not think that was the point either. People can express their concerns and suggestions in a healthy way. I have seen name calling and belittleing on this site and that is simply unacceptable.

I'm a nut for engaging in this, but I just can't help but point out the part in bold.

This poster doesn't even know what kind of diet the OP is on, but he feels she should be supported in her choice.

HCG is illegal in the U.S. because it's very dangerous. You eat only 500 calories a day and inject yourself with hormones. Since it's banned in the United States she's likely getting prescription medicine from overseas. And not from any reputable company either.

Still support her choice?

THIS is the best possible example to illustrate how "You're doing great! Whatever you choose to do is right for you!" is a bad and downright dangerous stance to take. You're "supporting" people into doing themselves harm.

WTG!

TylerJ76

I'm a nut for engaging in this, but I just can't help but point out the part in bold.

This poster doesn't even know what kind of diet the OP is on, but he feels she should be supported in her choice.

HCG is illegal in the U.S. because it's very dangerous. You eat only 500 calories a day and inject yourself with hormones. Since it's banned in the United States she's likely getting prescription medicine from overseas. And not from any reputable company either.

Still support her choice?

THIS is the best possible example to illustrate how "You're doing great! Whatever you choose to do is right for you!" is a bad and downright dangerous stance to take. You're "supporting" people into doing themselves harm.

WTG!

*slow clap*

tsellar29

I'm a nut for engaging in this, but I just can't help but point out the part in bold.

This poster doesn't even know what kind of diet the OP is on, but he feels she should be supported in her choice.

HCG is illegal in the U.S. because it's very dangerous. You eat only 500 calories a day and inject yourself with hormones. Since it's banned in the United States she's likely getting prescription medicine from overseas. And not from any reputable company either.

Still support her choice?

THIS is the best possible example to illustrate how "You're doing great! Whatever you choose to do is right for you!" is a bad and downright dangerous stance to take. You're "supporting" people into doing themselves harm.

WTG!

I will admit I didn't read past the title and first line Otis one when I posted a few mins ago! Now that I read it, not that I have ever HEARD of such a diet (sounds not to healthy) I may not have posted! I DO think too many ppl on here act very high and mighty....buuut when something ain't necessarily good for you, I think it's only supportive to let ppl know..

*slow clap*

SanteMulberry

bullying present participle of bul·ly
Verb
Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants

I don't think a stranger on the internet can FORCE you to do anything. Bullying is such an overused term here.

Weird, since "cyber bullying" is actually a real concept and a huge problem.

I agree that cyber bullying is a real problem. Cyber bullying is not saying " I don't think HCG is a good diet for you, since it can ruin your health." If someone made a hate website, sent you nasty messages, called you names, and made your real life miserable, THAT would be cyber bullying. This is a forum, people will disagree and voice their opinions.


Also, has anyone noticed that the people advocating normal, healthy diets have reached their goals, whereas people who advocate HCG, juicing, etc have not? Just something to think about.

I do not even know what HCG is. I do not think that was the point either. People can express their concerns and suggestions in a healthy way. I have seen name calling and belittleing on this site and that is simply unacceptable.

I'm a nut for engaging in this, but I just can't help but point out the part in bold.

This poster doesn't even know what kind of diet the OP is on, but he feels she should be supported in her choice.

HCG is illegal in the U.S. because it's very dangerous. You eat only 500 calories a day and inject yourself with hormones. Since it's banned in the United States she's likely getting prescription medicine from overseas. And not from any reputable company either.

Still support her choice?

THIS is the best possible example to illustrate how "You're doing great! Whatever you choose to do is right for you!" is a bad and downright dangerous stance to take. You're "supporting" people into doing themselves harm.

WTG!

I agree that HCG programs are dangerous (I tried one years ago, when it was new, and ended up pretty sick). But there are ways to tell people that without being rude to them. Telling the truth out of concern for them is always going to be better than giving the correct information while ripping a strip off of them.

firstsip

You came for support and got a dog poop story instead. Not exactly bullying but about what to expect trying to get support on the internet. As far as Hcg being dangerous, so is overeating. Your goal should be to eat right and change your lifestyle to eating right. This is very hard to achieve, there are people that dieted "right" and have regained. I think you can find great support on the internet, but you are going to get the rude people. You are also going to get people that disagree with you. The nice thing about the internet tho is while its easy to be rude here, its also easy to ignore the negativity.

Yup. Just like page 1.

People try to answer this topic as thoroughly as possible, giving multiple reasons for why things might be the way they are, get ignored, and then try and diffuse the tension with an obviously "not bullying" joke... and that got considered negative.

Yup. After things get heated, no one reaches a conclusion, someone posts a heartwarming tale about a DOG, and that's considered negative.

chocl8girl

You came for support and got a dog poop story instead. Not exactly bullying but about what to expect trying to get support on the internet. As far as Hcg being dangerous, so is overeating. Your goal should be to eat right and change your lifestyle to eating right. This is very hard to achieve, there are people that dieted "right" and have regained. I think you can find great support on the internet, but you are going to get the rude people. You are also going to get people that disagree with you. The nice thing about the internet tho is while its easy to be rude here, its also easy to ignore the negativity.

Yup. Just like page 1.

People try to answer this topic as thoroughly as possible, giving multiple reasons for why things might be the way they are, get ignored, and then try and diffuse the tension with an obviously "not bullying" joke... and that got considered negative.

Yup. After things get heated, no one reaches a conclusion, someone posts a heartwarming tale about a DOG, and that's considered negative.

The dog poop story was the best thing in this entire thread Hands down.

BrettPGH

I'm a nut for engaging in this, but I just can't help but point out the part in bold.

This poster doesn't even know what kind of diet the OP is on, but he feels she should be supported in her choice.

HCG is illegal in the U.S. because it's very dangerous. You eat only 500 calories a day and inject yourself with hormones. Since it's banned in the United States she's likely getting prescription medicine from overseas. And not from any reputable company either.

Still support her choice?

THIS is the best possible example to illustrate how "You're doing great! Whatever you choose to do is right for you!" is a bad and downright dangerous stance to take. You're "supporting" people into doing themselves harm.

WTG!

*slow clap*

I will admit I didn't read past the title and first line Otis one when I posted a few mins ago! Now that I read it, not that I have ever HEARD of such a diet (sounds not to healthy) I may not have posted! I DO think too many ppl on here act very high and mighty....buuut when something ain't necessarily good for you, I think it's only supportive to let ppl know..

Here's some more of that great support you're all looking for. Reads the title and one line and jumps in calling people mean. Not thinking for a minute there might be a reason.

If any of you want real support in losing weight the right way, I suggest you take the advice of every snarky, long time, successful user you can still find left here.

If you want people to tell you you're pretty and everything you do is wonderful and you're special just being you you can hang with this crowd.

I made my decision on who to pay attention to here a while ago. And I've hit every goal I set for myself. I am lucky to have the friends I do.

LilynEdensmom

I've found as with most places on the internet (I admin a mommy group on facebook, and lets just say some mommys are scary lol) people tend to be braver behind computer screens...I would ignore and block the ones that are bothering you and move on.

And while no disagreement is not bullying, people could make an effort to not sound like a total butt, and look up the definition of the word tact.

Controversial

Maybe this post would be more appropriate in the Introductions section.

And maybe the message boards in general are just too hard for some people.

lauren3101

Don't add me. I am a bully.

spiritedsaviour

^This.

It makes my blood boil every time I see the word "bully" thrown around on here, because 90% of the time, no one is being bullied.

i just want to chime in here and make an observation which i feel is a common trait amongst the folks being called bullies.

take a look at the ticker for the member who posted the above quote. she has lost 134 lbs. she knows what she's doing. alot of the so-called bullies on here have similar success stories. the reason they comment on the bad information on these forums (and don't kid yourself, there is a lot of bad information being passed off as true) is because they've been down these roads before. they've learned what works, what doesn't, and what is harmful. they want to make the learning curve easier and faster for those who are new to this.

i don't know her at all. she's not on my friend's list. i've seen her around the forums. but she is indicative of the sort of people who are providing real help here (as well as humor), only to be called meanies and bullies for it. to be honest, it would be comical if there wasn't a small segment of overly sensitive folks who have made it their task on MFP to stalk members like her, looking for things to report to the mods to try and get these people banned. that is no different in my mind that going down to your local public library and burning all of the books that you disagree with. when you do that, you remove information from your universe. as these folks get banned from here, the same thing happens. then this site will become nothing but a giant marketplace for people selling green coffee beans or raspberry ketones or meal replacement shakes to unsuspecting newbies.

now i don't really know if anybody is stalking her, but there have been some knowledgeable folks banned here in the past couple of weeks, whose absence is already having an negative impact around here. so the next time one of you is tempted to get angry and cry, "Bully!", take a minute to look at the person's profile and see if it's somebody who has succeeded in this long "journey" already. odds are they have and they know exactly what it's like to be in your shoes. odds are also that they are really trying to help, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time. maybe, just maybe, if you ask them for clarification, you'll discover that somebody like that is EXACTLY who you want on your side.

This ^^^

domgirl85

I'll add you!

Not to say it's okay that people attacked you (because I'm the Queen of "You Better Not Let Me See You Bullying Anyone or So Help Me!"), BUT MFP is just like any other website or gathering place. You're going to have people who are really nice and people who suck at life. I think expecting to not encounter rude people on a fitness site is "misguided". I say this because when it comes to losing weight, A LOT of people are unhappy with themselves to the point that they hate themselves. Unfortunately, these same people want others to hurt as much as they do. In any setting you'll encounter these people but with a site like this, it's going to naturally be more prevalent.

With that said, I suggest you ignore them. Whenever someone attacks you delete them as a friend, block the user if they aren't a friend, and think before you post. Those three things can make life a lot easier here.

Good luck

lizzybethclaire

Yknow what works for me? Not giving a **** what people say or think about me.

This. Also keep in mind that when you post on the forums, you open yourself up for criticism, not all of it being constructive.

bmckamey401

Unfortunatly there are bullies everywhere we turn, but I think the majority of people I've found here are supportive and understanding.

I also have learned though experience, with in family circles, that written comments that are meant to be funny or clever can very easliy be mis-understood because you can't hear tone or inflection on a written comment. My family and I have started adding comments like (sacastic) (joke) (empathy) after a comment to clarify.

I also think that it's ok to question or comment back. "That was rude" "don't be mean" "bully" etc. We may find that what somone else considered cute and clever may have sounded rude and hurtful in print. By commenting they have a chance to clarify or apologize. It may also make them think twice about what they type and who it's to.

I hope you don't let the bullies discourage you.

TaniaB_79

I am pretty new round these parts and whilst there seems to be plenty of robust discussion I haven't seen any bullying. What I have seen in this thread is heaps of sarcasm and a little rudeness (from both sides). I have to say the last few posts from the OP have got my back right up as they strike me as faux politeness, but I am also aware that tone is entirely missing from the written word.

I am all up for support, but that support is not going to extend to enabling people to do what common sense tells me is a foolish thing, like fad diets or eating less than 1200 calories when you are exercising. If its doctor recommended by someone you are confident has the relevant training, then great, but if I mention to you that perhaps you should try to net 1200 calories, then I am not being unsupportive, I am actually trying to support you to lose weight in a healthy and sustainable way. By all means tell me to butt out because its doctor recommended, I'll respect that, but I won't respect people who completely ignore that advice or give lame excuses.

RhonndaJ

I've been here a couple of years now and frankly I've yet to see any bullying.

Yeah, there've been some rude posts, but most of what seems to be perceived as rude or bullying is simply people who are bluntlysaying that they think what is being done is a waste of time, or downright dangerous and the recipient just doesn't want to hear 'the truth'.

I've seen a fair number of responses to things that I read as perfectly reasonable attacking the poster because the OP didn't like what they heard.

Really, we're all adults on here. If you don't like what you hear, ignore it or put them on ignore. If you don't want to hear people disagreeing with you, don't post. If you think someone is bullying you, don't respond and report them to a moderator.

People really need to grow up and act like the adults they're supposed to be. The world is not a happy happy joy joy place, so stop expecting sites like this one to be any different than the world at large. In fact, expect it to be worse since it is the internet, and a community such as this is not just a microcosm of the world, but a specific 'fitness' site. Like every other focused group, you're going to have extremists. Sure, listen, but you don't have to do what they want.

Sheesh.

I'm more tired of the whining about bullies than I am at the rudeness, that more often than not comes from the complete lack of inflection in our posts.

BossBich

Yknow what works for me? Not giving a **** what people say or think about me.

hdjjones

Just insulate yourself from the negativity. The bottom line is it doesn't mean *kitten*. Find the support you need and ignore the BS. Good luck. The site is useful and there are a**holes everywhere.