This site should not be about weight loss bullies !

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  • mmowery31
    mmowery31 Posts: 23 Member
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    i think the same thing! and what are with the "rate the person above you" threads and other threads related to that. I didn't think this was why we were here. would love to see more support.
  • jenns1964
    jenns1964 Posts: 384 Member
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    I might not call them bullies, but know -it -alls! So many people are giving medical advice even though they are not health care providers. We are individuals doing what we need to do to help ourselves. You go girl...
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
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    ^This.

    It makes my blood boil every time I see the word "bully" thrown around on here, because 90% of the time, no one is being bullied.

    i just want to chime in here and make an observation which i feel is a common trait amongst the folks being called bullies.

    take a look at the ticker for the member who posted the above quote. she has lost 134 lbs. she knows what she's doing. alot of the so-called bullies on here have similar success stories. the reason they comment on the bad information on these forums (and don't kid yourself, there is a lot of bad information being passed off as true) is because they've been down these roads before. they've learned what works, what doesn't, and what is harmful. they want to make the learning curve easier and faster for those who are new to this.

    i don't know her at all. she's not on my friend's list. i've seen her around the forums. but she is indicative of the sort of people who are providing real help here (as well as humor), only to be called meanies and bullies for it. to be honest, it would be comical if there wasn't a small segment of overly sensitive folks who have made it their task on MFP to stalk members like her, looking for things to report to the mods to try and get these people banned. that is no different in my mind that going down to your local public library and burning all of the books that you disagree with. when you do that, you remove information from your universe. as these folks get banned from here, the same thing happens. then this site will become nothing but a giant marketplace for people selling green coffee beans or raspberry ketones or meal replacement shakes to unsuspecting newbies.

    now i don't really know if anybody is stalking her, but there have been some knowledgeable folks banned here in the past couple of weeks, whose absence is already having an negative impact around here. so the next time one of you is tempted to get angry and cry, "Bully!", take a minute to look at the person's profile and see if it's somebody who has succeeded in this long "journey" already. odds are they have and they know exactly what it's like to be in your shoes. odds are also that they are really trying to help, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time. maybe, just maybe, if you ask them for clarification, you'll discover that somebody like that is EXACTLY who you want on your side.

    You know what I've seen? I've seen people who are just starting on this weight loss journey who think the ones who have been here a long time, reached their goals, know what they're doing, etc are WRONG. They will argue to the death with someone who has this weight loss thing down pat. They will tell them how wrong they are, how they should do THIS instead, etc.

    If someone has lost 50, 60 or more pounds - they clearly know what they are doing. They've seen success first hand, listen to them vs trying to argue with their knowledge. You might be shocked to learn they can HELP YOU.

    (This comment comes from first hand experience. I tried to help someone the other day and all I got were arguments, them telling me I needed to do this or that to be successful in weight loss, etc. Um. Okay. I've been in maintenance for 2.5+ YEARS. I think I know what works for me and what doesn't.. someone who has been here a grand total of less than a month and needs to lose 100lbs isn't going to change my mind about what works). So, the rude behavior? It most definitely goes both ways.
  • MrsBrosco
    MrsBrosco Posts: 295
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    By the way, two people have just advocated violence on the thread. None of the people disagreeing with your "diet" OP, or who are "snarky," have done this.

    Am I going to report them?

    No... because I can tell they're joking.

    First I never advocated a diet , I make my own choices because I'm an adult! I was simply giving an example of one of the topics that is used to bully people on this site . Yes I used the word again because that's exactly what I mean so thank you to everyone giving the grammar school lessons. Second you are all adults and I do not condone violence so please don't act like i have anything to do with or control of what comes out of others mouths. Third who said I reported anyone? I just chose to go on with my life and find positive people. I suggest you do the same.

    can i ask you a question? this is a serious question because i'm trying to figure out exactly where you draw the line.

    what if you came on here and announced that you were shooting heroin because it suppressed your appetite and allowed you to lose weight?

    what should we say to you? since you only want support, should we just ignore your thread because we can't support you? or should we yell, "STOP! what are you doing to yourself?!"

    in a situation like that, i really don't know what you think the forum should say to you that's "supportive".

    now, if you substituted "heroin" with some dangerous diet pill like "Xiushentang" in the above example. what should we say then? you can actually die from Xiushentang too. and if it's ok to tell you "NO!" to the diet pill, why can't we also say no to HCG if it is just as harmful?

    if somebody was scolding you for using HCG, maybe it wasn't because they didn't want to support you... maybe it was because they were truly scared for your health and well-being.

    YES!! YES!! YES!! YYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS! :smile:
  • moustache_flavored_lube
    moustache_flavored_lube Posts: 849 Member
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    Not that anyone is actually still reading this thread.

    But I have seen a number of people say something to the effect of the know-it-alls on there shouldn't try to force their views on others, especially since they are not health professionals.

    If you are putting topics out there advocating things like HGC, raspberry keytones, doing 1 million reps with a .0001 lb weight..... things that are generally well known to be crap you are going to elicit a response. If you want to do dumb things by all means be my guest!! if you ask for opinions, or try to influence others to do dumb things then you deserve the response you get
  • Chibea
    Chibea Posts: 363 Member
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    Yup- I saw that too- I'm a newbie too and I've actually had to use the 'ignore' a feature on those people who think their sarcastic comments are "funny". They seem very full of themselves.


    :bigsmile:

    You are so quick!!! Took me 2 months to discover the 'ignore' button. It's made reading the forums a lot more productive
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    If people think it's bad now, just wait a few weeks. As the days get longer, ape mating season will begin and then you'll have all the horngry people too. Happens every year all across the internet
  • kungfujen
    kungfujen Posts: 7
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    I'll be your friend and be positive. I did a round of hcg myself before starting mfp and it was a really great way to break a cycle of emotional defeat and frustration, and to teach myself about healthy portion sizes and to appreciate more fruits and vegetables. Of course it is not accepted by conventional medicine, but everybody doing that diet already knows that. It is not productive to hound them and say it is dangerous. Just mind your business, hcg haters, your opinion is not new or wanted.
  • ZESTY54321
    ZESTY54321 Posts: 1
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    Just remember that weight loss bullies are like all bullies, insecure, immature, inconsiderate and stupid. The first three can be addressed by support, time and training. Alas, you cannot fix stupid. Bullies will always be around. So just do your best and you will succeed.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    I'm more tired of the whining about bullies than I am at the rudeness, that more often than not comes from the complete lack of inflection in our posts.

    THIS.
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
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    Just remember that weight loss bullies are like all bullies, insecure, immature, inconsiderate and stupid. The first three can be addressed by support, time and training. Alas, you cannot fix stupid. Bullies will always be around. So just do your best and you will succeed.

    Wow...a person that apparently didn't bother reading any of the thread before posting? Holy hell...I think we might have found one of the problems.
  • coderedjulia
    coderedjulia Posts: 43
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    In any situtation, even if you are trying to help, trying to lose weight is already a difficult thing to do. It's best to give advice in a postive form, rather than be negative cause that can really let a person down who is trying.
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
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    Do you think that if we promise to stop "bullying" the HCG people about how much we care that they are doing something so dangerous to themselves, they will promise not to continue to haunt the forums after they die a horrible death from this scary "diet?"
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Since this post is still floating around today. I thought I'd post the beautiful supportive people who helped lift me up today. It's there on MFP you have the good and the bad.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/874348-feeling-like-the-road-is-too-long-and-impossible
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
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    Do you think that if we promise to stop "bullying" the HCG people about how much we care that they are doing something so dangerous to themselves, they will promise not to continue to haunt the forums after they die a horrible death from this scary "diet?"

    Ghost in the machine, weightloss edition? O_o
  • rm7161
    rm7161 Posts: 505
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    I just remove them from my FL. I've already removed 2 this past week who criticized me for not eating more breads or pasta. Well did it ever occur to people that maybe some people just don't like pasta or white bread? Personally I am not a fan of either. Don't like what someone eats then don't look at their diary. But no need to be rude about it and criticize others because they don't eat like you do.

    If someone told me to eat more bread and pasta, I'd remove them too. Luckily this isn't a problem because I have a private diary for just this sort of reason, idiots who don't understand why my diet is gluten free with no understanding of celiac disease.

    I can't eat either one unless they are a gluten free replacement, and they simply don't taste like real wheat bread and pasta (and cost a fortune) so most of the time I don't bother... I am not lacking for cheap whole grain corn tortillas, more legumes than you can shake a stick at, and whole grain rice anyways.
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
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    So you got negativity from people cause you lost weight? Were they jealous? I don't understand why anyone would insult someone else cause they have been losing weight. Yeah, I have a friend like that. If I did something bad, like go out and drinking and gain a bit of weight, she would say something to me like on my facebook and be rude about it. But if I lost weight and did something postive for myself, she won't say anything at all. I almost felt like she was in competition with me sometimes.

    Thats because some people only know how to be negative.
  • llpaq
    llpaq Posts: 263 Member
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    I think it's very important to find a group of PALs you like and maybe trust with advice and just work from your 'home' profile with them. I was thinking WTH could this be about when I read the post because I've had nothing but positive energy and support on here........ but I mostly stay on my own profile with my own pals that I've hand picked (or have picked me) the minute I see a smart *kitten* or a jerk/jerkette they would get deleted.
    On the other hand - as in everyday life- in the COMMUNITY there are *kitten* and they need to be told off and then ignored. Let all the meanies live on meanie island and you just stay with me and the other positive pals! :flowerforyou:

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