What is a MILF? Should I be offended or what?

ShreddedTweet

I wouldn't fancy being called a MILF. It's fairly crass and unimaginative and it's the kind of compliment that spews from a vacant mind. It takes a little more for me to be flattered but hey, if that's all it takes for you to feel good about yourself take it to the bank, why not.

olDave

jbutterflye wrote...

"Yeah, no kidding. I'm curious about Elie Wiesel now. Gonna have to read up on her. I found Victor Frankl's story incredible. Ultimately the way we perceive and respond to a situation is what is empowering, or not."

I'm impressed that someone your age has read Frankl.

BTW...Elie is male.

foxro

Good lord, comparing Milf to human trafficking and murder in Nazi concentration camps? Lol!

Yeah its just so funny isn't it ? History has shown that hate breeds more hate. That's the inference in these comments. That if hate is tolerated at one degree it will try the next degree and so. That's what happened in those circumstances. So the trap is tolerating one level of hate that wasn't acceptable and now becomes socially acceptable. It then moves to the next level. But then again you'll say I'm paranoid. Tell that to other women in the world that are treated like dogs, I'm certain they don't want to be known as MILF's. But hey, if you think its OK to be called MILF or anything else, then your the one creating the fear, that the only thing that matters is your vanity and nothing else hahahah. Isn't that so funny ?? Really folks, it's been a snow day here and I love the debate for the sake of debate. Again no hard feelings OK ?

olDave

Good lord, comparing Milf to human trafficking and murder in Nazi concentration camps? Lol!

Yeah its just so funny isn't it ? History has shown that hate breeds more hate. That's the inference in these comments. That if hate is tolerated at one degree it will try the next degree and so. That's what happened in those circumstances. So the trap is tolerating one level of hate that wasn't acceptable and now becomes socially acceptable. It then moves to the next level. But then again you'll say I'm paranoid. Tell that to other women in the world that are treated like dogs, I'm certain they don't want to be known as MILF's. But hey, if you think its OK to be called MILF or anything else, then your the one creating the fear, that the only thing that matters is your vanity and nothing else hahahah. Isn't that so funny ?? Really folks, it's been a snow day here and I love the debate for the sake of debate. Again no hard feelings OK ?

I enjoy respectful discussions about things that matter.

If someone chooses NOT to be offended, they also are choosing NOT to be afraid of what others may think. Epictetus and other Stoics taught...and I agree...that each person has the ability to CHOOSE happiness...or...CHOOSE unhappiness (to be offended).

Just because one chooses NOT to take offence, doesn't mean they condone...or oppose...someone elses behavior. Other people's behavior is THEIR problem. If we choose to react to it by being offended, then we make it OUR problem. That is not necessary. We have a CHOICE.

ChaiSpyce

Good lord, comparing Milf to human trafficking and murder in Nazi concentration camps? Lol!

Yeah its just so funny isn't it ? History has shown that hate breeds more hate. That's the inference in these comments. That if hate is tolerated at one degree it will try the next degree and so. That's what happened in those circumstances. So the trap is tolerating one level of hate that wasn't acceptable and now becomes socially acceptable. It then moves to the next level. But then again you'll say I'm paranoid. Tell that to other women in the world that are treated like dogs, I'm certain they don't want to be known as MILF's. But hey, if you think its OK to be called MILF or anything else, then your the one creating the fear, that the only thing that matters is your vanity and nothing else hahahah. Isn't that so funny ?? Really folks, it's been a snow day here and I love the debate for the sake of debate. Again no hard feelings OK ?

Thank you foxro, I appreciate your comments and respect for women.

PinkyKiwii

:drinker:

foxro

Being offended is a choice....regardless of the situation.

Don't understand the context but did the Jews in WWII or anyone else subjected to hate have a choice ??

We ALWAYS have a choice to be offended or not.

Yeah I guess we could have said to the Nazis with the machine guns, there's no way I'm having a shower, no offence Heir Hitler. hahah. The issue here is hate and in may cases hate will overpower you regardless of being offended or not. MILF is a hate term. JEW became a hate term, and do I dare say the "N" word. So regardless of your choice of being offended those in power that hate you will continue to hate you. But hey I'm paranoid and think the least we can do is be kind to each other. If being called a MILF is kindness well then .....

kelly_e_montana

i just use urban dictionary

Jenni129

You're all out of control here. lol

olDave

Being offended is a choice....regardless of the situation.

Don't understand the context but did the Jews in WWII or anyone else subjected to hate have a choice ??

We ALWAYS have a choice to be offended or not.

Yeah I guess we could have said to the Nazis with the machine guns, there's no way I'm having a shower, no offence Heir Hitler. hahah. The issue here is hate and in may cases hate will overpower you regardless of being offended or not. MILF is a hate term. JEW became a hate term, and do I dare say the "N" word. So regardless of your choice of being offended those in power that hate you will continue to hate you. But hey I'm paranoid and think the least we can do is be kind to each other. If being called a MILF is kindness well then .....

MILF...or any other term....is ONLY a hate term if one takes it as such and CHOOSES to be offended. True...we cannot control what others (Nazis etc) do...they may even kill us. But...we DO control our reactions to things that are outside of our control. You may want to read what a halocaust survivor Victor Frankl wrote concerning such a philosophy.

Gotta run....maybe we can continue this later.

jbutterflye

I'm impressed that someone your age has read Frankl.

I swim in the deep end of the baby pool.

BTW...Elie is male.

Good to know. I've never heard the name before. Thanks for the reference.

SkimFlatWhite68

Boys will be boys.
Slang has been around forever - sometimes I shudder to think what is in store for us in ten years time.
I personally find the term quite vulgar, although I understand that context is always important.

I admire your son for punching his friend.
and had a giggle at the man who wants to be a DILF. As I said - boys will be boys.

foxro

Being offended is a choice....regardless of the situation.

Don't understand the context but did the Jews in WWII or anyone else subjected to hate have a choice ??

We ALWAYS have a choice to be offended or not.

Yeah I guess we could have said to the Nazis with the machine guns, there's no way I'm having a shower, no offence Heir Hitler. hahah. The issue here is hate and in may cases hate will overpower you regardless of being offended or not. MILF is a hate term. JEW became a hate term, and do I dare say the "N" word. So regardless of your choice of being offended those in power that hate you will continue to hate you. But hey I'm paranoid and think the least we can do is be kind to each other. If being called a MILF is kindness well then .....

MILF...or any other term....is ONLY a hate term if one takes it as such and CHOOSES to be offended. True...we cannot control what others (Nazis etc) do...they may even kill us. But...we DO control our reactions to things that are outside of our control. You may want to read what a halocaust survivor Victor Frankl wrote concerning such a philosophy.

Gotta run....maybe we can continue this later.

I philosophically agree with you. Unfortunately when people act on their hate we have no control. Consider this MILF, versus MILR, where R is rape. Is this still a compliment ? Is there any difference because the guys wants to F you regardless if you want it....Yes everyone I'm being overally dramatic just to entice discussion and debate. Cheers

bluefox9er

Being offended is a choice....regardless of the situation.

Epic, epic,epic FAIL.

foxro

You're all out of control here. lol

Yeah but I'm snowed in so I must as well debate(fight) with everyone

jbutterflye

Good lord, comparing Milf to human trafficking and murder in Nazi concentration camps? Lol!

Yeah its just so funny isn't it ? History has shown that hate breeds more hate. That's the inference in these comments. That if hate is tolerated at one degree it will try the next degree and so. That's what happened in those circumstances. So the trap is tolerating one level of hate that wasn't acceptable and now becomes socially acceptable. It then moves to the next level. But then again you'll say I'm paranoid. Tell that to other women in the world that are treated like dogs, I'm certain they don't want to be known as MILF's. But hey, if you think its OK to be called MILF or anything else, then your the one creating the fear, that the only thing that matters is your vanity and nothing else hahahah. Isn't that so funny ?? Really folks, it's been a snow day here and I love the debate for the sake of debate. Again no hard feelings OK ?

I think context and attitude makes all the difference. Hate is not necessarily in the phrase, but rather in the meaning behind how a phrase is used. Generally speaking I consider MILF to be one of those casual terms that are used in society today that I relegate to "no big deal". It is simply not important (to me). Often I have found that when this term is used it's been given as a compliment with no disrespect intended, just one of those "modern" things that people say. And that's how it registered for me. Once in a while what I pick up on is that someone means it disrespectfully. I take ownership of my interpretation and do not claim it to be the absolute truth, but simply how it registers for me at the time. If so, I ignore it. I'm not interested in getting all indignant about it.

While my body is an object, I'm not. But I also don't disregard my body AS an object. So whatever comments are directed at my appearance ultimately mean squat, either way. If someone only saw the body and appearance, and couldn't or wouldn't relate to me at a deeper level then I say it's their loss. I obviously don't have to engage with them if I don't find it enjoyable. Their reaction, however, doesn't define how I see myself.

What makes me happy is choosing not to make a big deal out of things, and to not take myself so seriously.

Regarding what you wrote... I respect your right to your opinion but I don't share it. I find your logic faulty and perception skewed. I don't think that the term MILF is by definition hateful or disrespectful. I don't think that someone who uses the term or isn't offended by it is, by definition, tolerant or supportive of abuse, oppression, or subjugation. I also don't think that a little loveless thinking or behavior equates one with the likes of Hitler. We are all multi-dimensional creatures, capable of love and fear, empathy and hate. I prefer not to make mountains out of molehills, or overreact to an insignificant issue.

firstsip

guess we all read into things as for me. M for Mother - infers a married women. So those who believe it's a compliment or being called sexy, think it's ok for someone to intentially come on to a married woman ? I think you are being decieved by the intentions of the guy saying this to you . He is not saying you are sexy. He has no respect that you are married, and if you go along with it, what are you saying about your own marriage ?

:laugh: Oh now that's a funny one!!

I'm fairly certain that IF I had a child (which will never happen) and someone called me a MILF I'd take it as a compliment. And then I'd run home and tell my husband that I got called a MILF by someone and this would then lead to lots of smiles and high five's between us because this guy just told me that I have a kid and not only do I look like I'm way to young to be a mother but I'm freaking HOT!!!

IDGAF if someone "respects" that I'm married or not because I know that I'm married and it's just some guy saying words. Perhaps it's because nothing actually offends me that really makes me not give a rats butt about what someone might say to me and cause me to "over think" it and then wonder about things that really don't exist.

Yes and I'm sure you'll high five your hubby when some guy calls you a slut or *kitten* that is a positive testament to your sexual ability. C'mon there is a line here on how we relate to each other with kindness and respect. Some small German guy in the 1940's yelled into a microphone JEW Pig etc. and got what he wanted. If being called a MILF is a compliment all the other hate words against women must be compliment too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law

In a thread about milfs.

sunsnstatheart

guess we all read into things as for me. M for Mother - infers a married women. So those who believe it's a compliment or being called sexy, think it's ok for someone to intentially come on to a married woman ? I think you are being decieved by the intentions of the guy saying this to you . He is not saying you are sexy. He has no respect that you are married, and if you go along with it, what are you saying about your own marriage ?

:laugh: Oh now that's a funny one!!

I'm fairly certain that IF I had a child (which will never happen) and someone called me a MILF I'd take it as a compliment. And then I'd run home and tell my husband that I got called a MILF by someone and this would then lead to lots of smiles and high five's between us because this guy just told me that I have a kid and not only do I look like I'm way to young to be a mother but I'm freaking HOT!!!

IDGAF if someone "respects" that I'm married or not because I know that I'm married and it's just some guy saying words. Perhaps it's because nothing actually offends me that really makes me not give a rats butt about what someone might say to me and cause me to "over think" it and then wonder about things that really don't exist.

Yes and I'm sure you'll high five your hubby when some guy calls you a slut or *kitten* that is a positive testament to your sexual ability. C'mon there is a line here on how we relate to each other with kindness and respect. Some small German guy in the 1940's yelled into a microphone JEW Pig etc. and got what he wanted. If being called a MILF is a compliment all the other hate words against women must be compliment too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law

In a thread about milfs.

Yep. Today, we also witnessed a comparison of those that survive internet haters to Jackie Robinson, Jesse Owens and Ghandi. It's been epic . . .

jbutterflye

Godwin's law... interesting. heh.

foxro

Good lord, comparing Milf to human trafficking and murder in Nazi concentration camps? Lol!

Yeah its just so funny isn't it ? History has shown that hate breeds more hate. That's the inference in these comments. That if hate is tolerated at one degree it will try the next degree and so. That's what happened in those circumstances. So the trap is tolerating one level of hate that wasn't acceptable and now becomes socially acceptable. It then moves to the next level. But then again you'll say I'm paranoid. Tell that to other women in the world that are treated like dogs, I'm certain they don't want to be known as MILF's. But hey, if you think its OK to be called MILF or anything else, then your the one creating the fear, that the only thing that matters is your vanity and nothing else hahahah. Isn't that so funny ?? Really folks, it's been a snow day here and I love the debate for the sake of debate. Again no hard feelings OK ?

I think context and attitude makes all the difference. Hate is not necessarily in the phrase, but rather in the meaning behind how a phrase is used. Generally speaking I consider MILF to be one of those casual terms that are used in society today that I relegate to "no big deal". It is simply not important (to me). Often I have found that when this term is used it's been given as a compliment with no disrespect intended, just one of those "modern" things that people say. And that's how it registered for me. Once in a while what I pick up on is that someone means it disrespectfully. I take ownership of my interpretation and do not claim it to be the absolute truth, but simply how it registers for me at the time. If so, I ignore it. I'm not interested in getting all indignant about it.

While my body is an object, I'm not. But I also don't disregard my body AS an object. So whatever comments are directed at my appearance ultimately mean squat, either way. If someone only saw the body and appearance, and couldn't or wouldn't relate to me at a deeper level then I say it's their loss. I obviously don't have to engage with them if I don't find it enjoyable. Their reaction, however, doesn't define how I see myself.

What makes me happy is choosing not to make a big deal out of things, and to not take myself so seriously.

Regarding what you wrote... I respect your right to your opinion but I don't share it. I find your logic faulty and perception skewed. I don't think that the term MILF is by definition hateful or disrespectful. I don't think that someone who uses the term or isn't offended by it is, by definition, tolerant or supportive of abuse, oppression, or subjugation. I also don't think that a little loveless thinking or behavior equates one with the likes of Hitler. We are all multi-dimensional creatures, capable of love and fear, empathy and hate. I prefer not to make mountains out of molehills, or overreact to an insignificant issue.

Thankyou so much for your explanation. Is this simply a generation thing in which the term has morphed into something different ? Has the means for respecting women changed ? I was brought up that if you said anything to a women like that it was no better than hate and disrespect and I can tell you many of us were punished for saying things like this term to a women. The "F" word also brought on punishment and was not considered casual. We were taught to adore women, especially someone's Mother and saying something like wanting to F them brought on dire consequences. The comparrisons are scary because even though we as individuals might believe the thing is not important, someone in power may disagree and act on it. That is how societies are lead to accept behaviour that isn't "normally acceptable" So you may thing my logic is skewed but look at Hitler...a nobody who's "simple" molehill of hate grew and grew, into a mountain and became acceptable to fit in and survive. That itself defies logic. It happens and should not be casually ignored. That's the trap. Anyway thanks again, it is contextual. Cheers

monicalosesweight

I think the problem is that the 'F' word has become quite popular with the younger generations - boys and girls. I'm constantly having to address that particular word in my classroom. I suspect it has something to do with language being used in music and by modern comedians. Basically, it's used EVERYWHERE. I hear it in hallways and the adults constantly address it but it's become part of the youth culture. I'm hoping at some point it'll go away but as long as it's part of music...I don't see that happening.

As for your son, good for you! It looks like he knows how to respect you and hopefully, his friend learned a lesson about addressing older women using politeness.

Monica

jbutterflye

Thankyou so much for your explanation. Is this simply a generation thing in which the term has morphed into something different ? Has the means for respecting women changed ? I was brought up that if you said anything to a women like that it was no better than hate and disrespect and I can tell you many of us were punished for saying things like this term to a women. The "F" word also brought on punishment and was not considered casual. We were taught to adore women, especially someone's Mother and saying something like wanting to F them brought on dire consequences. The comparrisons are scary because even though we as individuals might believe the thing is not important, someone in power may disagree and act on it. That is how societies are lead to accept behaviour that isn't "normally acceptable" So you may thing my logic is skewed but look at Hitler...a nobody who's "simple" molehill of hate grew and grew, into a mountain and became acceptable to fit in and survive. That itself defies logic. It happens and should not be casually ignored. That's the trap. Anyway thanks again, it is contextual. Cheers

Foxro, I don't disregard, and in fact very much appreciate, your respect for women. The changes in generations have been pretty dramatic, yes. The changes in the last 100 years compared to the last 1000 have been astounding. It is very helpful to consider the context, not just in the generation in which it's used but in the attitude of the user as well. Every instance is unique and deserves its own objective appraisal.

I think that what allowed for someone like Hitler to rise to power is a kind of mindset that doesn't question authority or wish to stray from the collective. It can go either way, "positive" or "negative". Women are simply human beings, neither to be demonized nor put on a pedestal.

Best wishes.

bettacheckyoself

https://www.google.ca/ <--bookmark it...

jofjltncb6

Did I just read that "F" might as well be read as "R"? Seriously?

MFP never ceases to astound me.

Cognito1025

[/quote]

Foxro, I don't disregard, and in fact very much appreciate, your respect for women. The changes in generations have been pretty dramatic, yes. The changes in the last 100 years compared to the last 1000 have been astounding. It is very helpful to consider the context, not just in the generation in which it's used but in the attitude of the user as well. Every instance is unique and deserves its own objective appraisal.

I think that what allowed for someone like Hitler to rise to power is a kind of mindset that doesn't question authority or wish to stray from the collective. It can go either way, "positive" or "negative". Women are simply human beings, neither to be demonized nor put on a pedestal.

Best wishes.
[/quote]

Exactly.

SwimFan1981

Why is this thread still alive? :laugh:

foxro

Wow what a subject, please understand for an old F like myself the F word meant a brutal or selfish form of sex devoid of love, and in most circumstances a form or rape. That's why yours truly has flogged a dead horse here and that being called a MILF is abusive. If the word has morphed into making love for you or some other grateful complimentary term the next time someone tells me to F off I'll say have a great day and thanks for your concern. Sheesh !!!

LiftAllThePizzas

Being offended is a choice....regardless of the situation.

Don't understand the context but did the Jews in WWII or anyone else subjected to hate have a choice ??

We ALWAYS have a choice to be offended or not.

Yeah I guess we could have said to the Nazis with the machine guns, there's no way I'm having a shower, no offence Heir Hitler. hahah. The issue here is hate and in may cases hate will overpower you regardless of being offended or not. MILF is a hate term. JEW became a hate term, and do I dare say the "N" word. So regardless of your choice of being offended those in power that hate you will continue to hate you. But hey I'm paranoid and think the least we can do is be kind to each other. If being called a MILF is kindness well then .....

WTF. 1- Godwin's Law.

B- Wanting to have sex with someone is not hating them. Again, this has everything to do with one's attitude toward sex, and whether or not they think casual meaningless recreational sex with strangers is "fun" or "demeaning" or whatever else. You do not decide that for other people. You do not get to say how everyone else is allowed to or supposed to feel about sex. That is where your attitude is messed up, IMO. That is what the sexual revolution (which happened when I was a kid) was all about. I still see some older people (baby boomers, and some morons in my generation) who think women are *kitten* or sluts if they like sex, and/or that women are somehow 'ruined' by having sex outside the context of love and/or marriage. But that mentality is totally arbitrary and is not universal. It was fueled by patriarchal societies in order to control women, not to empower them. This (at least where I live) is not some crappy backwards culture where women are objects or delicate little flowers who need to be protected by big strong men.