He told me he was embarrassed of me while I was pregnant!

MyChocolateDiet

Losing the weight will not fix everything. Please go see someone and talk about these issues. This goes far beyond your weight issues.

this

andersonjo0306

So the truth came out. He is no longer attracted to me. I had a baby 6 mo ago. When he said this 11 days ago and I weighed 212. I now weigh 201. I started the juicing diet immediately the day he told me all of this. He was not a supportive bf during the pregnancy. A lot of insults. He rarely touched my tummy. He is more interested in his son than me. He has told me he doesnt enjoy having sex and that his friends and family are constantly telling him he could do better. Very verbally abusive. Im not leaving him. I already have a 3 yr old from a previous relationship and now I have a 6 mo old. And I am no longer able to have children. Leaving him is out of the question. I know I should. But ..oh well. My question is. When I lose the weight and im down at my goal weight of 150. Will I be able to look at him the same Or is the pain that hes caused by all of the insults going to stay with me? Has anyone gotn through this? kinda feel alone... He says hes trying to "wake me up before its to late". Ive never felt so ugly.

I am seriously tearing up. You do not need a man to give your life meaning and you do not need a man to raise your children. Your son will learn how to treat women from the example he sets and by what you are willing to take. When you lose the weight and you get your confidence back you will look at him with pity and disdain. I have married to my husband for 22 years. He has seen me through two pregnancies. One I only gained 25 lbs (Csection) and the next was approx 60 lbs. He loves me regardless of my size and tells me every day. THAT IS A MAN. THAT IS A HUSBAND. This man will never respect you, regardless of what size you get down to. Dont do it FOR him, do it to SPITE him and then kick him to the curb.

You do not deserve any of this.

Hugs and if you need an online mom for pep talks add me. I do cry for you though. What a situation to find yourself in

pastryari

Having a child with someone is not a reason to stay in an abusive relationship. Losing weight will not fix your relationship. Getting out of it will.

bmqbonnie

This is not good for your kids to see. If daughters they will think this is acceptable, if boys they will treat their future SOs like he treats you.

It wouldn't matter if you traded bodies with Gisele Bundchen, he will still manipulate and abuse you.

Staying is out of the question. Staying together "for the kids" is the biggest farce ever.

TexanAngel79

I can totally relate! Don't let anyone ever knock you down!!

Im_NotPerfect

Personally I would never be able to get those comments out of my mind. Hell...my husband made some comments about something totally unrelated to ME about 5 years ago and I still remember them! If he can't love you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best!

CarmenSRT

OP, there are plenty of GREAT men out there to be with. My husband, in our 25 years + of marriage has never once called me a name based on my weight (or anything else). My weight has been as low as 138 and as high as 284. His approach to that variation? "I get to be with a bunch of different sizes of women without cheating."

Unless he changes you will never be happy with him. Throwing more time into a losing proposition isn't going to change that.

Northwest_Bob

I agree with all of the above. 1. Run don't walk from this jerk. 2. Get some counselling. You are a worthy person in your own right. 3. Find a local women's support group of some sort. I guess on line at MFP is a start. But a local in person group that meets once a week would be much better. At the risk of being blasted off the board, I also suggest that you consider finding a supportive church in your area and go talk to the pastor. If you are rejected because of your marital and motherhood status find a different church. The rejecting church are not really Christians anyway if that is their attitude.

Blessings in your quest.
NW Bob

beautsarah

Yikes I'm sorry to hear this. Who's to say when you get to your goal weight the verbal abuse will stop. I don't think you'll ever forget how those words make you feel. And as the saying goes, "“If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

Kristen81

" Leaving him is out of the question. I know I should, but oh well." I'm appalled by this! This should be more about your kids than you or him! You need to do what is best for your children, which is get them out of this abusive home. It just so happens what is best for your children happens to be what is best for you too.

Get out of this relationship, lose weight/get healthy, and find yourself and children a MAN!

metaphoria

Would you want your children to stay with a partner who spoke this way to them?

Children absorb what is happening around them, and they are learning that it is acceptable for a man to speak this way about a woman he supposedly loves. If you are really determined to stay, at least find some counselling for the two of you, get into a mom and tot group and surround yourself with supportive people. By supportive, I do not mean enablers. You need people who will help you achieve healthy weight loss, and emotional and mental health.

mrs_schultz2012

Your boyfriend may be an idiot but you're not much better by staying. Have a little respect for YOURSELF and your KIDS and leave. You're teaching them a dangerous cycle. It's your job as a mother to protect them.

^^^^And this!!! Take responsibility as a mother!!

get rid of his @$$ quick!

sigsby

I would recomend antone in an abusive relationship get away from the abuse. If someone has a problem with you being you then they aren't worth your time and energy. I say dump the jerk.

AlongCame_Molly

Why the HELL is leaving him out of the qustion? What do your kids have to do with that?

_DaniD_

Very verbally abusive. Im not leaving him.

So what exactly do you want us to say then?..

Ms. M.F.P 2013
M.F.P. Hottest Person/M.F.P. Most awesome person
Certified Relationship advice giver
Never loses anything, ever

UsedToBeHusky

Do yourself a favor. Be stronger than this. If he treats you like this now, losing 50lbs isn't going to change his opinion of you. All my best and I hope you work this out. I know you didn't want people to tell you to leave him, but the reality is nothing you do is going to make him appreciate you. YOU are the one that deserves better.

Fed_up

... wonders why people dont take advantage of FREE birth control and then say, "I cant do better because I have children now".

1. Sex causes children
2. Children means more responsibility for yourself AND them
3. Children dont deserve being raised in a terrible, abusive home
4. Should have considered all this before getting pregnant - read: USE BIRTH CONTROL!

CherokeeBabe

!.) Why is this in success stories?

2.) Get the F out of that relationship ASAP. Having kids doesn't mean you can't be happy with someone else. That's just nonsense and your low self-esteem/+depression talking. Run, don't walk. There's support out there for people in tough situations like that, use it.

Unique_ways

You should ask yourself what kinda damage this would do to your children and if you are ok with them learning that it's ok for a man to treat his woman like that...
I'm sorry your are going thru this and I think once your at your weight goal you will just hate him more...

skinnyinnotime

Honey, when you've lost the weight and you're looking ultra hot YOU won't want HIM!!