Please stop…I beg of you…

jofjltncb6

I'll eat what I want to eat, and you eat what you want to eat. I think we know which one of us will be the healthier one.

Oh we do, do we?

RandiLandCHANGED

The only one I've tried is the banana/egg fritters...My one year old & my German Shepherd liked them just fine. I guess some do like banana scrambled eggs :P

sapphiretyger

Cauliflower pizza crust? I am so down with trying that! I personally love finding substitutes that work for me. Both because I am generally meat-free in my life and because I am watching calories and eating healthy. Sure, there is REAL pizza crust out there with REAL flour and oil being used. And sure, I sometimes indulge in that. But the rest of the time I am looking for healthy choices that taste good! So bring on the alternatives!!!

rumplesnat

I'm totally logging exercise for the amount of laughing I've exerted reading this thread.

Shadowknight137

I'll eat what I want to eat, and you eat what you want to eat. I think we know which one of us will be the healthier one.

We both will, because we're both eating what we want.

onepillarofsalt

Also, spaghetti squash tastes nothing like spaghetti, and your family WILL notice the difference.

Seriously. Women at work say, "I can't even tell the difference between this and regular pasta!" and I think, "if I couldn't tell the difference between that and regular pasta I would go to the doctor because it'd have to be a tumor causing such a horrific impairment!"

Gallowmere1984

Also, spaghetti squash tastes nothing like spaghetti, and your family WILL notice the difference.

Seriously. Women at work say, "I can't even tell the difference between this and regular pasta!" and I think, "if I couldn't tell the difference between that and regular pasta I would go to the doctor because it'd have to be a tumor causing such a horrific impairment!"

I'm sure they can't tell the difference once they've dumped six jars of Ragu 'omfgwtfflavoristhisevensupposedtobe?' on it.

brownmousemama

The quasi-food recipes are the herpes of MFP…there is an outbreak almost daily.

Mashed up banana + egg does NOT equal a pancake…it is an omelet…a nasty, fruit-based omelet.

Mashed up banana + oats does NOT equal a cookie…it is some weird form of oatmeal.

Mashed up cauliflower does NOT equal a pizza crust…it is an abomination.

Adding buffalo sauce to cauliflower does NOT equal a buffalo wing…this too, is an abomination.

Please, please stop trying to make junk food healthy…if I want to eat a buffalo wing, I want a piece of chicken slathered in tangy BBQ sauce. If I want a pancake, I want something I can smother with syrup. If I want pizza, I want it to be on a crust made of gluten-filled goodness. If I want a cookie, I will drown a double-stuffed Oreo in a glass of milk (real milk…from a cow).

Splurging once in a blue moon is not a sin. I will not go to hell for it. I will go to hell for finding wildly inappropriate things hysterically funny.

YES! I just don't get all the "It tastes like real bacon!" things that people tend to say about healthier options of foods that are fatty and full of calories. I'm going to eat good food, I'll just eat less of it.

Lyonsgurl

how do you make cauliflower crust???

LiftAllThePizzas

I'll eat what I want to eat, and you eat what you want to eat. I think we know which one of us will be the healthier one.

WUH-EVUH! WUH-EVUH! I DO WHAT I WAWNT!

IWantToo

I made sushi with cauliflower instead of rice and I really didn't notice much difference:



First time making sushi. It doesn't look pretty but it was delicious!

That's creative and interesting. It is not, however, "sushi" by any standard. And that's pretty much the theme here. If you can find a way to make something a little better, then feel free, but don't destroy the essence of a particular type of food and then continue to call it by the original name. Random ingredients rolled in nori does not sushi make.

Amen...sushi by its name requires a perfect blend of rice and vinegar to compliment typically a fish protein. To call this sushi is an insult to the years if not decades a true sushi chefs spends culitvating his craft. What you made is a Maki but by no means is it sushi

You're right, it's not sushi. I sincerely apologize. Next time, I'll call it my "seaweed, salmon, cream cheese, avocado rolls with cauliflower". Is that better?

We're good. Thank you! :flowerforyou:

No problem.

Actually perfer you call it SUSHI without RICE...

I hate when people steal names of food and TRY AND GIVE IT A BRAND NEW NAME like burritos... breakfast wrap, no thats a breakfast burrito.. if you put cold ham and cheese in a flour tortilla shell its not a "wrap" its just a really weird disgusting faux burrito... thank you continue the thread please lmaooo

sunsnstatheart

I made sushi with cauliflower instead of rice and I really didn't notice much difference:



First time making sushi. It doesn't look pretty but it was delicious!

That's creative and interesting. It is not, however, "sushi" by any standard. And that's pretty much the theme here. If you can find a way to make something a little better, then feel free, but don't destroy the essence of a particular type of food and then continue to call it by the original name. Random ingredients rolled in nori does not sushi make.

Amen...sushi by its name requires a perfect blend of rice and vinegar to compliment typically a fish protein. To call this sushi is an insult to the years if not decades a true sushi chefs spends culitvating his craft. What you made is a Maki but by no means is it sushi

You're right, it's not sushi. I sincerely apologize. Next time, I'll call it my "seaweed, salmon, cream cheese, avocado rolls with cauliflower". Is that better?

We're good. Thank you! :flowerforyou:

No problem.

Actually perfer you call it SUSHI without RICE...

I hate when people steal names of food and TRY AND GIVE IT A BRAND NEW NAME like burritos... breakfast wrap, no thats a breakfast burrito.. if you put cold ham and cheese in a flour tortilla shell its not a "wrap" its just a really weird disgusting faux burrito... thank you continue the thread please lmaooo

Um, I TOTALLY see your point, and really, I get it. But, not to put too fine a point on it. And, really I do understand. But sushi without rice. Technically, that's called "sashimi." I know, those crazy Japanese . . . And sushi without rice or fish? Well that's pretty much called cauliflower.

LauraMacNCheese

Um, I TOTALLY see your point, and really, I get it. But, not to put too fine a point on it. And, really I do understand. But sushi without rice. Technically, that's called "sashimi." I know, those crazy Japanese . . . And sushi without rice or fish? Well that's pretty much called cauliflower.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

zorbaru

I hate when people steal names of food and TRY AND GIVE IT A BRAND NEW NAME like burritos... breakfast wrap, no thats a breakfast burrito.. if you put cold ham and cheese in a flour tortilla shell its not a "wrap" its just a really weird disgusting faux burrito... thank you continue the thread please lmaooo

um, if being wrapped in a tortilla was the prerequisite for being a burrito, 1/2 of all mexican foods are burritos.

what about an enchilada, no thats a baked burrito.
what about fajitas
what about soft shell tacos

if its a burrito it needs to have burrito fillings. otherwise its a wrap. just like people (in australia anyway) have taken to calling every flavour of chicken on a stick a (satay). NO, SATAY IS A SPICY PEANUT SAUCE, NOT THE FACT THAT IT IS ON A STICK!!!!

kitty_764

But a shot of Amaretto and 151 set on fire dropped in a glass of beer and chugged REALLY does taste JUST like a Dr. Pepper.

Flaming Faux Dr P

afia233

this thread has given me so many LOLs, i litrally look like a crazy person sitting in my uni library stifling laughter
i tried those bloody banana oat cookies and they were awful, even my dad who eats EVERYTHING was like.....wtf is this!

Angel1066

lol

MadameMC

I'm of the opinion that

A) The world does not revolve around you (or me) so if someone wants to put buffalo sauce on cauliflower and call it a faux hot wing, they're welcome to do so. Doesn't mean I have to eat it.

and

Just because you (or I) think a bunch of "faux food" recipes might be a waste of time/money/resources/whatever your nitpick is - doesn't mean I have to create a thread to complain about it. We're all perfectly able to roll our eyes and move on to the next thread.

So, cauliflower "hot wings" recipe isn't for you? Very good. On to the next recipe.

Selani

I'm mostly posting so I don't lose this thread again because it's been so darned entertaining, so.... Bump!

But for all those who mentioned the banana/oat baked thingys.... THANK YOU!!!!! I thought there was something wrong with what I was doing because all those people said they were amazing yummy and mine just tasted like banana sawdust!
For almost everyone else? THANKS! for the giggles, this has been heaps of fun.
Thanks to the OP for an amazing thread

ChristineDiet

I made this awesome taco once though that I"ll share with you but other than this taco I totally agree wtih you.

What I did was instead of using a corn tortilla because corn killed the Mayans and obviously all grains are fatal, I used a lettuce leaf. And then since beef is harmful because of that study by those chinese people I used clumps of cinnamon (it's really boosting on your metbolisms) but I clumped it up to really look like beef. And taco sauce is only like 10 calories if you use a syringe and just drip it on, so I added REAL TACO SAUCES and then some lettuce and omg it was just like eating a taco.

thanks add me for motivation.

haha - love it! x

Lyadeia

I'm mostly posting so I don't lose this thread again because it's been so darned entertaining, so.... Bump!

Yeah, me too. I'm leaving work soon and want to finish laughing at this later. :flowerforyou:

SRH7

I'm mostly posting so I don't lose this thread again because it's been so darned entertaining, so.... Bump!

But for all those who mentioned the banana/oat baked thingys.... THANK YOU!!!!! I thought there was something wrong with what I was doing because all those people said they were amazing yummy and mine just tasted like banana sawdust!
For almost everyone else? THANKS! for the giggles, this has been heaps of fun.
Thanks to the OP for an amazing thread

C'mon now, they are not completely useless... I found the mixture came in handy to fill some cracks in the wall above my kitchen window. Makes my kitchen smell of bananas, but cheaper than Polyfilla - hey, let's call it "Faux Polyfilla".

LorinaLynn

I'm of the opinion that

A) The world does not revolve around you (or me) so if someone wants to put buffalo sauce on cauliflower and call it a faux hot wing, they're welcome to do so. Doesn't mean I have to eat it.

and

Just because you (or I) think a bunch of "faux food" recipes might be a waste of time/money/resources/whatever your nitpick is - doesn't mean I have to create a thread to complain about it. We're all perfectly able to roll our eyes and move on to the next thread.

So, cauliflower "hot wings" recipe isn't for you? Very good. On to the next recipe.

But why doesn't the same apply to those who don't like THIS thread? :laugh:

Obviously there are a lot of people who do like this topic. Just like there's a lot of people who like cauliflower crust pizza.

I don't like wings... I don't like the messy activity of gnawing meat off the bone. I love buffalo sauce. I don't understand why anything that's not a wing is called a wing. Boneless wings aren't wings, they're nuggets in buffalo sauce. Cauliflower isn't a wing, it's cauliflower in buffalo sauce. I'm sure it's delicious, but I also bet I could put buffalo sauce on Swheat Scoop Cat Litter and have it taste good. That's not wings either.

chljlleal

Someone had to say it

^^ This. Thank you OP. You're doing the world a great service, however, I do think that sometimes hamburger buns can be substituted:

drools....

zorbaru

I don't like wings... I don't like the messy activity of gnawing meat off the bone.

come on, there is nothing like sucking the flesh of a dead bird

mapnerd2005

Buffalo on boneless skinless chicken breast sauce is a yummy way to eat a boneless chicken breast, but it's not a "hot wing".

YES! That's what I make when I get a craving for buffalo chicken!

mapnerd2005

But a shot of Amaretto and 151 set on fire dropped in a glass of beer and chugged REALLY does taste JUST like a Dr. Pepper.

Flaming Faux Dr P

Shots on you!!!

Ramberta

I'm guessing people who don't like these topics also don't like Lewis Black.

What does that have to do with anything? Lewis Black is the bomb. He also gets paid to do what he does and spent a lot of time going through the awful lower tiers of comedy (where you get booed offstage and such) to get to where he is today.

lbesaw

I agree with you. I put much thought into what I am eating these days-the nutritional value and quality of the food is ultra important. I do not eat sugar laden items that are totally devoid of anything good. I do not do any artificial stuff at all. I have adapted some things that I love into lower calorie/fat versions but if I allow myself on a rare occaision to have pizza or wings you can bet it will be the real thing....maybe whole wheat crust or baked wings but real food in every sense. It doesn't have to be as difficult for some but hopefully they will find their correct path even if they have to imploy a few food tricks to keep themselves on the path. I know that some of the food swaps may seem crazy but if it helps then its worth it to the creator. I appreciate them sharing their ideas.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

My thoughts on cauliflower sushi/pizza crust: