Please stop…I beg of you…

SwimFan1981

What a moronic thread :laugh:

MsPudding

Should substitutes be pure evil simply on the basis that they don't taste like the original?

Well if that theory holds true then the lollies below shouldn't taste of Waldorf salad, salmon and mulled wine....but they do and the chap who made them has 3 Michelin stars. If people didn't experiment, food would get very boring indeed.

maru84

PREACH!! I too fell victim to the mashed banana/oatmeal/almond/cranberry whatever breakfast "cookie" which tasted just like rubber mixed with sawdust. Totally pwned.

MSeel1984

As someone who dared try one of these quasi-recipes...I wholeheartedly agree.

If you're going to eat a food that's basically a junk food (a taco...a cookie). Do the real thing in moderation/small amounts and only occasionally.

Indulgence occasionally doesn't make you a bad person. Or even a fat person...excess of anything is not good for you.

bobf279

I just eat normal stuff just less of some things and keep cake as a treat

Ramberta

Should substitutes be pure evil simply on the basis that they don't taste like the original?

On this community they are, apparently. Even though people creating alternatives to popular dishes is not new to MFP nor new to human culture at all. Careful though, trying to tell people on here that they can't shoot down anything and everything they like will only get you flamed. Also, those lollies sound disgusting but intriguingly innovative, haha.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

"Unhealthy food" is a description used by people with unhealthy attitudes towards eating.

QFT.

I also endorse this statement, though I still want superpowers from pizza.

^This. I also agree with the above statement.

while not pancakes, I did find superhero cupcakes (sorry it took so long, stupid work distracted me from coming back to this thread). I also make a damn fine gf cupcake with flour, eggs, milk, butter, etc . . . no diet soda or apple sauce in site!

Martucha123

:flowerforyou: OP

another victim of cauliflower pizza crust here
it's nothing like bread
cauliflower rice? please

I don't mind being creative and all
I LOVE carrot "fries" and zucchini "pasta"
but they taste nothing like fries and pasta,
and I would never post a recipie formy baked carrot fries saying that they taste just like fries
NO THEY DON'T IF YOU WANT FRIES, HAVE FRIES

SwimFan1981

Should substitutes be pure evil simply on the basis that they don't taste like the original?

Well if that theory holds true then the lollies below shouldn't taste of Waldorf salad, salmon and mulled wine....but they do and the chap who made them has 3 Michelin stars. If people didn't experiment, food would get very boring indeed.

Heston by any chance?

irisannRN

I made this awesome taco once though that I"ll share with you but other than this taco I totally agree wtih you.

What I did was instead of using a corn tortilla because corn killed the Mayans and obviously all grains are fatal, I used a lettuce leaf. And then since beef is harmful because of that study by those chinese people I used clumps of cinnamon (it's really boosting on your metbolisms) but I clumped it up to really look like beef. And taco sauce is only like 10 calories if you use a syringe and just drip it on, so I added REAL TACO SAUCES and then some lettuce and omg it was just like eating a taco.

thanks add me for motivation.

Hahahaha thanks for the laugh this morning!

pikachuFL

I don't see anything wrong with people posting creative alternatives to their favorite foods. It's not like you HAVE to eat it if that kind of thing doesn't appeal to you. Why ruin it for others who might want to try those recipes???

If you want to have a smaller serving of real fries, that's fine, but don't knock people for making carrot fries or whatever. If that works for them, how is it hurting you???

kitka82

The quasi-food recipes are the herpes of MFP…there is an outbreak almost daily.

Mashed up banana + egg does NOT equal a pancake…it is an omelet…a nasty, fruit-based omelet.

Mashed up banana + oats does NOT equal a cookie…it is some weird form of oatmeal.

Mashed up cauliflower does NOT equal a pizza crust…it is an abomination.

Adding buffalo sauce to cauliflower does NOT equal a buffalo wing…this too, is an abomination.

Please, please stop trying to make junk food healthy…if I want to eat a buffalo wing, I want a piece of chicken slathered in tangy BBQ sauce. If I want a pancake, I want something I can smother with syrup. If I want pizza, I want it to be on a crust made of gluten-filled goodness. If I want a cookie, I will drown a double-stuffed Oreo in a glass of milk (real milk…from a cow).

Splurging once in a blue moon is not a sin. I will not go to hell for it. I will go to hell for finding wildly inappropriate things hysterically funny.

Who put salt in your coffee girl????? LOL! I get what you're saying. The banana-egg pancake is pretty good though. I do miss real pancakes though. Just not the bloat that comes with them...

Geeky_Girl

I completely agree! While I don't mind the occasional alternative, I usually try to eat the real thing. If I want it, I have it, just in moderation (lol, sometimes not even then honestly!)!!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not attacking the use of alternatives, but let's call them what they are. Banana and egg taste nothing like a pancake- nothing. It tastes like banana and egg. True story.

macaya5

I get that sometimes people need to psych themselves out because the real thing might be too much of a temptation. and yeah, some of that stuff sounds unappetizing. I feel the same way about substitute food that is billed as healthier but in reality has a mess of chemicals and crap in it that I would rather not ingest.

some people also really just see food as fuel and will eat things in weird combinations because it delivers the nutritional payoff they want.

TR0berts

Donuts and bacon.


I you, man.

LorinaLynn

If that works for them, how is it hurting you???

You know what works for me? Having an occasional laugh. Joking and bonding with friends and strangers about things we believe are a bit absurd. Which is what THIS thread is about. I suppose it could have been in the Chit Chat forum, but it's also about food, so this is an appropriate place for it.

And as someone who's made many of the foods mocked in this topic, I'm laughing at myself as well.

Admiral_Derp

ERMAHGARD! CHURKEN NURGERTS!

pikachuFL

BTW, I have no problem with calling substitute foods by the name of the food they were inspired from. Who says pizza only can be made with a flour crust?? If I want to call cauliflower crust pizza crust, that works for me. If you don't, call it what you want but don't have the nerve to tell me I'm wrong. Words are subjective and no one has a monopoly on their proper usage.

JossFit

BTW, I have no problem with calling substitute foods by the name of the food they were inspired from. Who says pizza only can be made with a flour crust?? If I want to call cauliflower crust pizza crust, that works for me. If you don't, call it what you want but don't have the nerve to tell me I'm wrong. Words are subjective and no one has a monopoly on their proper usage.

The dictionary, as given to us by the Italians who INVENTED PIZZA, that's who.

piz·za/ˈpitsə/ Show Spelled [peet-suh]
noun

a flat, open-faced baked pie of Italian origin, consisting of a thin layer of bread dough topped with spiced tomato sauce and cheese, often garnished with anchovies, sausage slices, mushrooms, etc.
Also called pizza pie.

Origin:
1930–35; < Italian pizza (variant pitta ), perhaps ultimately < Greek; Cf. pḗtea bran, pētítēs bran bread


I think you're missing the point of the post which is that alternative recipes are fine, GREAT in fact, but naming them 'pizza' or 'sushi' when they are not, no matter how creative they are or how tasty they are is just silly.

In fact, I've decided that your name is Susan. I just feel like you look like a Susan and that whatever your real name is doesn't matter to me.


**And by the way I hope everyone realizes that I just think this thread is fun and I really don't give a crap. I have plenty of my own alternative recipes! :indifferent:

MsPudding

:flowerforyou: OP

another victim of cauliflower pizza crust here
it's nothing like bread
cauliflower rice? please

I don't mind being creative and all
I LOVE carrot "fries" and zucchini "pasta"
but they taste nothing like fries and pasta,
and I would never post a recipie formy baked carrot fries saying that they taste just like fries
NO THEY DON'T IF YOU WANT FRIES, HAVE FRIES

A crust on a pizza is simply something crunchy that is a vehicle for the toppings. Cauliflower crust ones can come out really well if they're done right and all the moisture gets removed; ground chicken breast/mozzarella gets even crispier. Lots of people like pizza, not everyone likes (or can stomach) wheat.

On the fries issue, well technicaly 'fries' is not a food-stuff; it's a method of cooking. Anything can be fried - it doesn't have to be a potato. Personally I don't like chips (or 'fries') made from potato; I prefer celeriac and I call them 'celeriac chips' because that's what they are.

I believe that the nomenclature used for these recipes is there simply to let the reader know what the cook was attempting to make a substitute for rather than a claim that the invention is a taste doppleganger for the original (e.g. Quorn bacon doesn't taste like pork bacon, but it's so named because everyone recognises bacon and that's what it's trying to provide a veggie alternative for). Of course there are some that claim that their alternative is *exactly* the same, but that's generally down to the exuberance at the cook's pleasure in inventing an alternative to something they were missing.

brookelynhoneycutt

I think the best way to stop these alternative recipe indecencies is to berate and insult those who like and use them!


And the best way to defend these alternative recipes is to berate and insult those who don't like or use them!


Good work! :drinker:

CookieCrumble

I've obviously misunderstood this thread completely because I read the OP and laughed so much that I tipped half of my cup of tea down my bra... :blushing:

But then I am a Brit - and I'm blonde... :bigsmile:

Thank you, OP, for making me laugh today... :smooched:

pikachuFL

In fact, I've decided that your name is Susan. I just feel like you look like a Susan and that whatever your real name is doesn't matter to me.

Hehehee, that's funny! My middle name is Sue, named after my mom whose middle name was Susan. You're a psychic!

jcfromtb

So long as you're eating responsibly most of the time, an occassional slice of pizza or a few chicken wings shouldn't be a big issue. Now, if you end up eating 6 slices and polish off a dozen wings... that's probably not the best meal if you're trying to improve your health and fitness.

Personally, I feel that trying to turn healthy food into something I associate with "comfort" food is detrimental to my psyche. This is a trap that a lot of people trying to lose weight fall into... "Oh my god, I really want that donut... but I can't because Im trying to eat healthy". That's flawed logic... you can eat that donut and the 11 others in the box if you want to. You can eat 24 snicker bars in between a pizza and pitcher of beer... but that's not the best choice for your health.

When I am confronted with a food that previously I would tear into with no thought, I simply say "I can eat that If I wanted to... but it's not a good choice and won't help me reach my fitness goals." It's less about "I CANT EAT THAT" and more about "I DONT NEED TO EAT THAT".

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

BTW, I have no problem with calling substitute foods by the name of the food they were inspired from. Who says pizza only can be made with a flour crust?? If I want to call cauliflower crust pizza crust, that works for me. If you don't, call it what you want but don't have the nerve to tell me I'm wrong. Words are subjective and no one has a monopoly on their proper usage.

<-- about to have the nerve to tell you you're wrong. lol

I don't think words are all that subjective. The reason we can have language and a dictionary is that words have common meaning. Sure, there's some interpretation. If I say "chair" we're probably going to picture different types of chairs. But we both understand the idea of what a chair is. Although I think we're getting into philosophical territory here, and it's too early for that.

missy_1975

I substituted a good hour of my day reading this thread instead of doing real work

JossFit

In fact, I've decided that your name is Susan. I just feel like you look like a Susan and that whatever your real name is doesn't matter to me.

Hehehee, that's funny! My middle name is Sue, named after my mom whose middle name was Susan. You're a psychic!

LMAO! Touche! :drinker:

uwharriegold

The voice of reason!

LiftAllThePizzas

Whiner's Law. When a thread is posted to complain about another post, thread, or a general forum trend, it will contain at least one response saying something to the effect of, "if you don't like it, ignore it." This will be responded to by someone telling the "ignore it" person to take their own advice.

wnbrice

Veggie-burger is yummy, I think they are delicious. They are not a hamburger.
Turkey bacon is yummy. IT is not BACON

Just call it what it is, but dont try to make me think I am eating one when I am ont.