Please stop…I beg of you…

djfriedman81

I'm open minded. I've tried a lot of these things. I've had soy-burgers (tasted like a 2 day old McDonalds patty), spaghetti squash (completely edible, but nothing like spaghetti), "Miracle" noodles (texture of wet rubber bands), "pizza" made on English muffins (not a bad snack, but not a pizza), and recently oatmeal mixed with applesauce cookies, which were pretty good, but I'd rather have one of my traditional oatmeal cookies full of sugar, eggs and butter for 100 calories than 3 of the 33 calorie ones. I might make them again, because they're so damn easy and don't make as much mess.

And I realized... there's absolutely no need for this silliness. With an appropriate calorie deficit, I can eat normal servings of normal food. Why should I have 10 calories of rubber miracles noodles when the 200 calories or real pasta fits? A full-sized bagel fits, so why have a tiny flat one? Pizza fits. Cheeseburgers fit. Potatoes fit. Sometimes even cookies, cakes, brownies and candy bars fit.

I'm not THAT active of a person. I'm a middle aged artist/housewife (read: unemployed and looking for work) who spends the bulk of her day on her *kitten* in front of the computer, and exercises about 4 hours a week. But I need 2300 calories to maintain my weight. I lose easily on 1800-2000 calories. And judging by my successful friends on here, that's not so unusual.

Allergies and intolerance aside, there's no need for faux food.

this sums it up...if you can manage portion control you can eat pretty much anything (food allergies asside) while still at a calorie deficate.


Also isnt the Broccomoli just called broccoli dip?

MikeSloaninLDubya

The quasi-food recipes are the herpes of MFP…there is an outbreak almost daily.

Mashed up banana + egg does NOT equal a pancake…it is an omelet…a nasty, fruit-based omelet.

Mashed up banana + oats does NOT equal a cookie…it is some weird form of oatmeal.

Mashed up cauliflower does NOT equal a pizza crust…it is an abomination.

Adding buffalo sauce to cauliflower does NOT equal a buffalo wing…this too, is an abomination.

Please, please stop trying to make junk food healthy…if I want to eat a buffalo wing, I want a piece of chicken slathered in tangy BBQ sauce. If I want a pancake, I want something I can smother with syrup. If I want pizza, I want it to be on a crust made of gluten-filled goodness. If I want a cookie, I will drown a double-stuffed Oreo in a glass of milk (real milk…from a cow).

Splurging once in a blue moon is not a sin. I will not go to hell for it. I will go to hell for finding wildly inappropriate things hysterically funny.

Hilarious!

Erindipitous

I don't like pancakes.. And I don't make any kind of "cookie" that has quotations around it like that (because the only real cookies I feel are worth eating have real sugar and butter in them).. But as far as a different base used as crust for pizza, a way to enjoy buffalo chicken with half the calories/fat, or a dip made with a different kind of vegetable.. I'm down for variations every once in awhile. I would never give up the real deals on the occasion, but if I can make a healthy version of something like it so I can either A) fit it into my calories/macros, or eat a lot more of it, I'm down to see how it measures up. I like trying new things. If I don't like it, I just won't make it again. Simple as that.

But when it all boils down: This is a diet and fitness website.. There will always be people coming up with these types of things. It's not going to go away.

Edited to add: For the record, I had no idea people were putting buffalo sauce on cauliflower and calling it a hot wing. Yeah, that's not even close. I figured it was boneless/skinless chicken breasts cooked in buffalo sauce or something -- Now THAT I could understand.

LauraMacNCheese

You guys are all ridiculous. Grow up. I don't know why some people feel the need to dictate what others do, but just cut it out and worry about yourself. If you like chicken wings and ice cream or w/e good for you. Go ahead and eat it. Not everyone can or wants to eat chicken, beef, cake, w/e and so they make up recipies using things that they can eat. If you don't like the way their recipies taste, take your own advice and just eat the real thing instead of complaining about people using the website in one of the ways it was meant to be used. If they want to call their version of pancakes 'pancakes' because to them they are pancakes, then why do you feel the need to dictate what names they give to their food? In the time it is taking all of you to collectively whine about other people not enjoying the same foods as you, you could've just had your damn pizza.

Somebody's cranky. :laugh:

LiftAllThePizzas

I've always thought that MFP would eventually suffer a civil war type split. Perhaps "pseudo recipes" will finally be the tipping point.

I'm kinda surprised there haven't been any soda vs pop wars.

juliekaiser1988

OP: I personally don't see anything wrong with what people are sharing for ideas. Take info, leave info, whatever.

No time for rants about people just being thoughtful and wanting to share.

If it bothers you so much, just pass it up. :flowerforyou:

Julie

jofjltncb6

I love to "healthify" recipes. Works bloody brilliantly for someone like me who eats very large meals. Agreed that they can be hit or miss though.

But if you ate higher calories recipes, wouldn't that let you eat slightly smaller meals? (Granted, if you enjoy the "very large meals", then by all means, continue enjoying those. It certainly isn't a "wrong" approach.)

At the end of the day, we're all...(okay, fine, *most of us* are)...eating towards a total calorie amount for the day. If you reduce the calories in a recipe, that just means, all else being equal, that you will need to eat more food. Fine, there's a satiety thing in play for actual stomach fullness, but for those who have overcome (or at least diminished) that, what is the point?

(And this is especially relevant for the "I'm stuffed and can't eat another bite, but I'm only at 600 calories for the day" crowd...but that's another post.)

LorinaLynn

I've always thought that MFP would eventually suffer a civil war type split. Perhaps "pseudo recipes" will finally be the tipping point.

I'm kinda surprised there haven't been any soda vs pop wars.

The soda and pop people band together against the "it all will kill you" people.

zmoreno10

I'm with OP on this one. Don't pee in my cup and call it lemonade, don't put hot wing sauce on cauliflower and call it a hot wing. Call stuff what it is, eat what you want and be responsible. Cheese and rice, is it really that hard?

For example, I really want to go out for Pho for lunch this week, but it has a lot of carbs and the calories can climb pretty quick. So what do I do? I exercise and make smart choices to reduce my calorie count for the remainder of the day so I can enjoy ACTUAL Pho and not have to invent some odd-wannabe Pho.

Change the way you eat, not what you eat.

And for every odd "I substituted cauliflower instead of deliciousness" recipe I see on the forums, I will post a delicious calorie filled recipe that will cause you to make actual choices should you decide to eat it. I believe I will start with a Monte Christo.... ^_^

juliekaiser1988

You guys are all ridiculous. Grow up. I don't know why some people feel the need to dictate what others do, but just cut it out and worry about yourself. If you like chicken wings and ice cream or w/e good for you. Go ahead and eat it. Not everyone can or wants to eat chicken, beef, cake, w/e and so they make up recipies using things that they can eat. If you don't like the way their recipies taste, take your own advice and just eat the real thing instead of complaining about people using the website in one of the ways it was meant to be used. If they want to call their version of pancakes 'pancakes' because to them they are pancakes, then why do you feel the need to dictate what names they give to their food? In the time it is taking all of you to collectively whine about other people not enjoying the same foods as you, you could've just had your damn pizza.

^^ This.

Live and let live. Gesh....

Wolf_

Turd & Egg Pancakes

1 turd
1 egg

Mix, fry in pan.

Kinda tastes like crap. And egg.

jofjltncb6

I've found ways to work regular foods into my diet, like pizza and girl scout cookies, but I also enjoy modifying recipes to make them healthier (adding applesauce to replace butter, using egg whites instead of whole eggs, etc). Some of the recipes people come up with are absolutely ridiculous but hey, to each their own. If OP wants to eat normal food, cool. If someone else wants one of those egg/banana patty-things, cool.

I guess one of my problems with the "healthier substitute" crowd is the perpetuation of the belief that that applesauce is inherently healthier than butter...and that egg whites are inherently healthier than whole eggs.

djfriedman81

Turd & Egg Pancakes

1 turd
1 egg

Mix, fry in pan.

Kinda tastes like crap. And egg.

For the Win!!!

megsmom2

I will eat whatever the hell I want. I will also call it whatever I want. I will most likely post a recipe AND a picture. Thanks and have a nice day. :bigsmile:

*****-slapped!

I think I love you. Have a banana pancake!

LiftAllThePizzas

You guys are all ridiculous. Grow up. I don't know why some people feel the need to dictate what others do, but just cut it out and worry about yourself. If you like chicken wings and ice cream or w/e good for you. ... yadda yadda yadda

Because it's funny. If you don't see the humor, you're doing it wrong, and you're gonna have a bad time.

DavPul

What the hell is going on in here?

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

Some are hits and some are misses. I personally love the cauliflower pizza crust but I cannot tolerate the mashed cauliflower. I will not do the buffalo cauliflower... but I make my own light version of buffalo wings. It is nice to have choices

This is a very nice way of disagreeing. Mature and thoughtful. And polite.

A+

LauraMacNCheese

What the hell is going on in here?



I hate when I miss out on epic threads

I angered people because I think cauliflower is the devil...

Chris5138

8 pages of comments??? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

HiKaren

Hi Laura darling... :happy:

I guess I'm one to swing both ways on the plate... I like the real junk, and the fake junk... I like em both.. I liked this forum topic alot because I love your blunt honest opinions, and I like to hear that cauliflower pizza crust is beneficial for people with Hashimotos.