For Big Women on the Edge When the Subway is Too Crowded

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  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    I also don't think the actions of the OP could really be classed as any sort of "victory" in my opinion.

    Of course it is good to stand up for yourself and that may feel exhilarating. On some occasions you absolutely do have to take a stand (pardon the pun.)

    However, in a social situation like this one I think the truest triumph comes when you do not allow a rude person any kind of permission or ability to change your emotional state negatively.

    The victory comes when despite someone being rude to you that you can simply smile sweetly, say "I hope you have a nice day" and walk away with your head held high....
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
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    I also don't think the actions of the OP could really be classed as any sort of "victory" in my opinion.

    Of course it is good to stand up for yourself and that may feel exhilarating. On some occasions you absolutely do have to take a stand (pardon the pun.)

    However, in a social situation like this one I think the truest triumph comes when you do not allow a rude person any kind of permission or ability to change your emotional state negatively.

    The victory comes when despite someone being rude to you that you can simply smile sweetly, say "I hope you have a nice day" and walk away with your head held high....

    Nice post. :)
  • savyjenn
    savyjenn Posts: 41 Member
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    Next time just push her bag over and sit down...even if you kind of have to sit on her!! LOL...when I lived in NYC I distinctly remember always trying to allow room for others to sit or giving up seats....there was this one time when there were no more seats and this lady walked up and basically sat on me...I didnt say anything...kind of fell on the floor dazed...i guess she needed the seat more than I did....:-)...I do not miss the NYC Subway or the DC Metro...
  • jenifr818
    jenifr818 Posts: 805 Member
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    Wow, really? People amaze me sometimes. That's some of why I live in the South, where folks are friendly and there's no subway... Wait a minute, if someone reading is reading this, don't become insulted if you're from the North.. I don't want to start a war, just joking, really... But I hear you, cause I've got a pretty big booty and I'm always concerned about squeezing in somewhere and irritating someone. She needs to take her huffing and puffing and stuff it somewhere! Good for you for not taking the "ish" and standing up for yourself. Completely enjoyed your post. Thank you!! And I wish you immense success in becoming healthier!

    I live in the south, and trust me, it's not all peaches and sweet tea here either :laugh: I miss the North; yeah, the snow sucks, but at least people are honest and don't hide what they really feel behind "well bless your little heart". Random 2 cents
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
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    I haven't had the heart to ingest all of the anger in this thread to see if the question has been answered, but can anyone tell me what the OP meant when she wrote: "For Big Women on the Edge When the Subway is Too Crowded."

    Did she mean women on the edge as in, the edge of sanity or the edge of their patience? Or did she mean a literal edge like the edge of a seat or the edge of the platform? Inquiring minds want to know!
  • Fr3shStrt
    Fr3shStrt Posts: 349 Member
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    Excellent write up! you should send that in to some magazine editors and see if you can get it published!

    Yes!
  • Fr3shStrt
    Fr3shStrt Posts: 349 Member
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    I haven't had the heart to ingest all of the anger in this thread to see if the question has been answered, but can anyone tell me what the OP meant when she wrote: "For Big Women on the Edge When the Subway is Too Crowded."

    Did she mean women on the edge as in, the edge of sanity or the edge of their patience? Or did she mean a literal edge like the edge of a seat or the edge of the platform? Inquiring minds want to know!

    I read the whole thing, she was totally inside the car so I'm thinking the edge of patience... It is a good read...
  • annbillingsley
    annbillingsley Posts: 60 Member
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    I just have to say I love this post! If you can't feel safe to humorously vent about being picked on because of size on a site meant to help ppl get fit, where can you? If people don't like what you wrote, they can MOVE ON. Someone must have peed in their cornflakes to post something to admonish you for fighting back. Just because it "could have" been done in a more politically correct manner doesn't mean a thing. They weren't there. They didn't experience it. You did and you handled it in a way YOU felt comfortable with. THAT is what matters.....nothing ANY of the rest of us peanut gallery members say or think matters, including me. Just keep doing what you're doing!
  • MaryLaura83
    MaryLaura83 Posts: 66 Member
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    Good for you!! I wish I could stick up for myself like that.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    Good for you!! Love your story! To anyone who takes offense then you're the ones with a problem if you think this has anything to do with you.. gesss get over yourselves.

    I would rather be squished in a train with a bunch of over weight people than a bunch of skinny bony rude hags with bags any day.

    Yes but more importantly, what is a MILF and am I one???? :noway:
    Derailed thread.
  • LeeDenn10
    LeeDenn10 Posts: 1
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    Just had to post my thanks for the " Way to GO " story. It made me laugh and made me feel pride in another one of my " nutritional over achiever " sisters under the skin ! Give em hell girl! :)
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    Wow, really? People amaze me sometimes. That's some of why I live in the South, where folks are friendly and there's no subway... Wait a minute, if someone reading is reading this, don't become insulted if you're from the North.. I don't want to start a war, just joking, really...

    Last time you Southerns tried that is did not work out so well... :smokin:

    I suspect this is why a bunch of us are "gun toting red necks"... we don't want to stockpile all our arms in one place again... just in case... :wink:
  • _Witsy_
    _Witsy_ Posts: 609 Member
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    It would be REALLY nice if people would NOT ASSUME that just because someone is "skinny", that they haven't struggled.

    Ok...so I ate way too much over the course of 10 years and got fat. Like super fat. I made ALL those choices. I'm now fighting back and losing it. YAY ME.

    That does not give me (or anyone else) to assume someone who is "skinny" or "underfed" just "hasn't lived a life like mine". You know..cuz eating disorders just are mythical and all.

    GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I feel like if the tables were reversed, the obvious hypocrisy would be more evident.

    And don't get it twisted...I'm another chubster out there in the real world but for the most part, people are very nice to me....cuz I'm nice to them.

    endrant/

    Okay. But I plan to lose a lot of weight and get down to a healthy weight and I honestly hope no one thinks I'm "underfed". I'm aiming for the fit look, not the anorexic/starving look. So I guess I'm confused when the OP throws out the term "underfed" and a few women pipe up on here like that is referring to THEM. If you look underfed you are probably doing it wrong. Lift weights or something.

    Well I can't speak for the other posters piping up for that...the reality is someone will always get butthurt.. The OP's choice of words can ring negative in those that are thin...just like the word fat can piss off someone else.

    I personally don't care what anyone else thinks about my weight. There are many people who are naturally tiny. There are also people who want to be naturally tiny and struggle. There are people who are big and now want to be thin...the point is...we all have our own ideals...it's none of our business to push them on anyone else.
  • LilacSnow
    LilacSnow Posts: 238 Member
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    ha, why would she even bring up her education and pedigree? that is so silly, good for you for sticking up for yourself!
  • garnetsms
    garnetsms Posts: 10,018 Member
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    I also don't think the actions of the OP could really be classed as any sort of "victory" in my opinion.

    Of course it is good to stand up for yourself and that may feel exhilarating. On some occasions you absolutely do have to take a stand (pardon the pun.)

    However, in a social situation like this one I think the truest triumph comes when you do not allow a rude person any kind of permission or ability to change your emotional state negatively.

    The victory comes when despite someone being rude to you that you can simply smile sweetly, say "I hope you have a nice day" and walk away with your head held high....

    You do make a good point
  • Kelley528
    Kelley528 Posts: 319 Member
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    Maybe this had nothing to do with the OP's weight and had more to do with one person invading another person's space. I live in NYC and public transit is a nightmare due to overcrowding and limited seat space. The so-called underfed woman asked if the OP could move a step over. It was probably because the seated woman felt too crowded/boxed in. I have felt that way more times than I can count and it has nothing to do with the persons size. it has to do with invading my personal space and a slight movement in one direction would help immensly.

    The fact that the seated woman was being called "underfed" for not being obese shows me that the OP was overly sensitive about her size and that probably played a factor in how the seated woman responded.
  • jenifr818
    jenifr818 Posts: 805 Member
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    Wow, really? People amaze me sometimes. That's some of why I live in the South, where folks are friendly and there's no subway... Wait a minute, if someone reading is reading this, don't become insulted if you're from the North.. I don't want to start a war, just joking, really...

    Last time you Southerns tried that is did not work out so well... :smokin:

    I suspect this is why a bunch of us are "gun toting red necks"... we don't want to stockpile all our arms in one place again... just in case... :wink:

    :laugh:
  • Scott2ndGradeTeacher
    Scott2ndGradeTeacher Posts: 147 Member
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    I am reminded of a (paraphrased) famous Winston Churchill quote...

    "Yes, I'm fat, but you my good lady are stupid. The difference being is that I can lose weight and you'll always be dumb."


    (Also...the term "redneck" is offensive. We prefered to be call "Agro-Americans!") :tongue:
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    RIGHT ON!!!! Preach it!!! That is an inspiring and empowering post!!!

    And congrats on the weight loss and more to come!!!! :flowerforyou: :drinker:

    Thanks!
  • MeMyCatsandI
    MeMyCatsandI Posts: 704 Member
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    Sounds like the chip on your shoulder is as big as the bag she's carrying.
    This exactly!

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